DD's being bullied

[Roni]

Ugh. I sent dd2 off to school this morning in tears. She says everyone is picking on her. She had a lot of trouble last year, but this year started off better. One issue is that she recently started wearing her snow pants to school because she gets cold. So, some kids teased her. Yesterday, a lot of kids wore snowpants (it was snowing), but she was the only one being made fun of. There are some other issues, too, but that seemed to be the last straw. I sent her teacher an e-mail and asked her to call me, but I don't know what the teacher is supposed to do. Dd seems to be a target, and it's made worse by the fact that she reacts to the teasing, which just encourages the bullies. But, maybe her teacher can help me figure out how to help her. (Luckily, dd1 had her for 2 years, and we have a good relationship.) I did buy dd an American Girl book on bullying for Christmas, but I'm going to give it to her when she gets home today.

It's her last year at this school, but it's a small town, and she'll still be with the same kids for the next 8 years after this.

[georgiegirl]

How old is she? You also might have luck with the school counselor. I'm sorry you are going though this.

[Roni]

She's 9--in 4th grade. FWIW, she just turned 9 in August and is also small. She probably would have benefitted from being red-shirted, but academically she's doing fine.

I'm hoping the guidance counselor can help. The guidance counselor was completely useless last year (she told dd to be less sensitive), but there is a new one this year, & dd likes her. I thought it would be best to talk to dd's teacher first, but guidance is probably my next stop.

[sophiesmom03]

My DD1, also 9, is also a target. I do think the teacher can help. Last year we moved mid-year and the new teacher was pg and really exhausted and frazzled so the class was a bit wild. The long term sub came in and made some BIG cultural changes in the classroom and suddenly all the kids were respectful, friendly, kind, accepting.

So I do think it's the teacher's job to set the culture of the class at that age. In middle school when they are moving from classroom to classroom I think it's harder to pin down but for elementary school I do think that's the case.

Good luck and hugs to your DD!

(P.S. Have you seen the micro fleece pants that Garnet Hill and Hanna Andersson sell? They are nice and warm but not "snow pants".)

[Pennylane]

I am so sorry this is happening to your dd. As a pp suggested, I would go to the teacher and especially the guidance counselor. My dd had a boy in her class last year that was being picked on and the counselor came into the class room and talked to them about everyone being different, etc.

Can you get her some long underwear to wear under her clothes as an option to wearing snow pants everyday? I hate to tell my kids not to be different but I do always gently remind them that when something they are wearing might be considered outside the norm and other kids might react to it.

Good luck and I hope it gets better soon.

Ann

[Beth24]

I have a 4th grader as well. It is a tough year for girls. My DD was having a great year until a couple of the girls started to turn on her. Like your DD she reacts to the teasing and meanness and I think that feeds the problem. My DD just can't let it go. I really hope your counselor can help the situation. It's the worst feeling in the world to know your child is unhappy.

[liz]

I don't have much to add, but I wanted to say that I am sorry your DD is going through this. At our school they make it very clear
that if you feel your child is being a bully or being bullied to talk to the school counselor right away. I hope everything works out for your DD :hug:

[Asianmommy]

My DD was bullied in 2nd grade during recess. A girl was pestering her and following her and told her not to climb on the monkey bars or she would kick her. DD climbed on the monkey bars, and the girl kicked her. The next day, I went to the school office and told the secretary. She called DD's teacher to the office to speak with me. DD's teacher said she would speak to the teacher of the other child and also ask the playground monitors to keep an eye on them. I also told DD to tell the girl to stop if she did it again. If she didn't stop, DD was to tell the playground monitor. Well, it happened again, and the girl didn't stop, so DD went to tell the playground monitor. The playground monitor told the girl to stop, and if she did it again, she would be sent to the principal's office. Lucky for us, it hasn't happened again.

[Asianmommy]

Sorry, repeat post.