If you were content with 2 kids and then went on to have more, why?

[ourbabygirl]

(Please feel free to vote for all choices that apply in your situation.)

It seems like 3 (kids) is the new 2 in our area, and I'm curious about peoples' reasons for having more kids, since it seems to me like going from 2 to 3 is the biggest 'jump' in family change. :)

What was your thought process in having a third (or more)?

Thanks for sharing!

[WatchingThemGrow]

I put "other" because it wasn't really any of those reasons. We had 2 in 18 mos, thought, "Hmmm, we're already screwed, so if we get pg with another anytime soon, then we'll have a 3rd, I guess." We were older (38) so we didn't think the chances were good, but we were blessed with a sweet, cute little cuddler the 3rd time around.

[american_mama]

I think you hit on all our biggest reasons. It started from a point of wanting a third child, but I also realized that I'd gotten good at this mothering thing, knew a lot about pregnancy and infancy, was handling the later childhood years well with my other kids, and generally had found my groove. My husband probably wouldn't put it in such glowing terms, but I would say he felt experienced and somewhat confident about fatherhood. It made having a third child seem fun and somewhat easy.

[g-mama]

I came from a family with two kids; dh came from a family with four. His family is fun and the kids are all friends and enjoy each other. He definitely wanted more than two, he would have 5 or 6 if I'd agreed! I wanted a family dynamic more like his than mine. I was always envious of my friends growing up who had more than two kids in their family bc their houses seemed more fun and laid back.

Our house is definitely um...lively, to say the least, with three boys. Just the other day, my oldest ds' friend said he likes to come over because our house is always fun. It made me feel very gratified. :love-retry:

[♥ms.pacman♥]

interesting thread. i only have 2 now but i am starting to really feel like i eventually want 3. seeing my DS and DD together lately, how they play together, how they love each other so much...i would love to add to that.

growing up i always wanted a large family..having only 2 felt sort of lonely. especially since my brother was almost 6 years younger. also, i wanted a sister. i have a girl and a boy and i would love for DD to have a sister.

i think the main thing holding me back from having 3 is the idea of being pregnant again. i get rotten morning sickness for the first ~18 weeks and it is just brutal. also dd was a preemie and so the chances of having another preemie are high, and that first few months were rough. also i want put time into my career right now and get back to working.

[gatorsmom]

We had more kids for the very reason that we loved our first 2 so much! I look at my kids playing together and I will honestly admit, now that Greenbean is so much easier to understand, I would like more children. If only the stork really delivered!

[123LuckyMom]

We only have two, but I'd love to have two more. I won't, because I'm old (41), and don't think my body would manage two more pregnancies, and I'm, personally, concerned about the dynamic with three (one child always left out). It's a silly concern, though, because my son is part of a really tight threesome of friends, and they manage just fine! In any event, I would take the plunge because my children are so fantastic I'd love to be around more like them! Also, I feel like I've got the mothering thing under control, so one more wouldn't be that much harder. I've no real experience with three, though, so I don't know if that's true...

[roseyloxs]

My mom is the 7th of 8 kids. My dad is the 1st of 4. I have 2 brothers and my DH has 2 brothers and a sister. Having only 2 kids has never seemed like enough to me. I am content with our family if something stood in our way of having more but it just seems normal to me to have at least 3 if not more.

[AJP]

We had twins and had tried for many years to get pg with them via IVF. When they were 2 we decided we wanted to try for one more. I was feeling very blessed with two already, but desperately wanted to experience ONE baby and a singleton pregnancy. Had our first pg been a singleton we may have stopped at 2 DC...I am not happiest when pregnant (Lol) and dont think i would have handled being pg 3 different times. We were lucky enough to get pg with DS right away. Our family feels complete!

[emily_gracesmama]

Hubby really wanted a third. I was ok with 2 but had a feeling I would regret it if we didn't at least try for a third. So I gave it six months until i would be turning 36 and it happened month one. It's a boy too which thrills my hubby since now he gets to experience that.

[KpbS]

I too am one of three and have very close relationships with my siblings. DS1's infancy was pretty stressful for health reasons so we almost didn't have a second. DS2's entry into the world was via emergency C and he and I could have not made it if it weren't that we lived so close to the hospital so having a 3rd after we recovered from the trauma of the beginnings of DS1 & DS2 took some real thought and took DH a lot longer to want. But DD is wonderful and her brothers her a ton. I wish she could experience a sister, but I am certain I'd lose my sanity :dizzy: and we are totally content and done!!

[hellokitty]

I wanted a third for another chance at a girl. Obviously, that didn't work out. However, I feel more content at three than I did at two. I have a weird story in that one of my siblings was in a serious accident and I realized how important it was to have another sib, if something happens to the other one or there is a crisis, the other one ends up alone. Iy does sound morbid, but I know that goldenpig's dh had some similar feelings and I suspect that there are others who feel the same way. Three is definitely harder than two and much of it also depends in personalities. Most importantly I would be very diligent about spacing your last one. IMO a minimum of 4 yrs between #2 and #3 is ideal. 5 yrs would have been even better. My first two are 18 mo apart and ds2 was a needy unhappy baby that sucked the life out of me. That phase of parenthood was the worst and I would never recommend that anyone willingly space their kids that closely. Anyway, even though I didn't get my girl, I'm content with three. I knew that 3 was my limit no matter of #3 was a boy or a girl.

[kara97210]

I always wanted 3 because I came from a family with 3 kids and it just felt right. After 2 tough pregnancies I was pretty sure we were done, but a couple of months ago I started getting the bug again - I didn’t want to get rid of the baby gear, started getting weepy when I saw tiny babies, etc. We are currently researching adoption and if everything works out we will expand our family that way in the next couple of years. I couldn’t be more excited!

[AnnieW625]

Prior to having DD1 I thought I would 3-4 kids. DH had always just wanted 2. We lost baby 2 to a chromosome disorder, and after the loss we thought we wanted a healthy second baby. DD2 was an oopsie, but we were using condoms as birth control and were going to wait till Jan., 2010 to start trying (8 mos. post loss). Well one day we got a little frisky and forgot the condom, and therefore had DD2; I got pregnant just shy of 4 months post loss. It is hard to say if baby 2 had been born if we would have had a 3rd baby, but I kind of think we would have tried for a 3rd. We both decided after DD2 was born that I just didn't want to be pregnant again and deal with another potential loss so we decided our family was complete with 2 kids.

[magnoliaparadise]

I have two kids and would love a third (and fourth and fifth), but I think it probably won't happen, which is so sad to me! I think I'm a person that will never feel 'complete' about the number of kids and wants a huge family. I'm a single mom, though, and older, so those things are challenges to a bigger family. On top of that, the expenses. Still, I would love another and it makes me weepy thinking about it.

[brittone2]

We had a boy and a girl and still decided to go for #3. Our family just didn't feel complete. Now it feels veerrrrrryyyy complete ;) I am one of those people who will always be nostalgic for the cute, cuddly newborn phase to a degree, but I can honestly say when friends get pg now, have babies, etc. there are no pangs of longing for any more on my end, as much as I enjoy holding their little ones :)

[maestramommy]

OP is probably right that 3 is the new 3, but it might depend on region. I have plenty of friends with 3 or more in this region. In Socal a few of us had 3 but most stuck with 2. I remember reading an article a couple of years ago with this as the title. It related more kids to affluence. Who knows? The families I know here with more kids aren't more affluent than the ones with 1 or 2.

We were happy with 2 because we wanted at least that many. 3 was one of those random things. We knew could afford a 3rd, but I told Dh it had to be soon because while I could handle one more pregnancy I was feeling my age and didn't want to put it off. I set a deadline for getting snipped if it didn't happen on its own. We were not going to TRY for a 3rd.

When L was born he emailed his relatives a little video clip from Sesame Street, "5 is such a happy number." I thought it was very cute and funny, gave me a little more insight into my Dh.