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View Full Version : Gah! My DD is acting like a spoiled brat!!!



jse107
11-11-2012, 10:28 PM
I am seriously (seriously) getting ready to go off on my DD. She will be 5 in two weeks. Maybe it's a girl thing, maybe it's because she's the 2nd born, maybe it's her temperament, or maybe crappy parenting. I don't know. I do know that she is acting like an over-indulged, spoiled brat--all in time for the holiday season and a trip to Disney in two weeks.

Whenever we talk about donating money, food, clothing, or toys to others in need, she immediately starts with "But then I don't have that anymore..." or "Other people can get that for them." When I did my grocery shopping with her two weeks ago, the local food pantry was outside with a list of items they needed. I took the list and we got several items off of it. I explained to her why this was important and part of being a good community member. When we were done with our shopping and put the donated items in the food panty cart, she started whining and complaining! Over 5 boxes of pasta, a few cans of corn, and some peanut butter!

In the past 6 weeks she has turned into a huge complainer and is completely self-centered. I've tried explaining to her that not everybody is as lucky as we are or has the grandparents she has. It falls on deaf ears. I've talked with her about the kids I work with who don't have food in their homes or clean, well-fitting clothing. It just doesn't seem to matter.

This is in stark contrast to my 8 y.o. DS, who is always worried about others and the community. For his birthday when he turned 5, he had everyone bring items he could donate to the local animal shelter. When I told both the kids that after Thanksgiving they were each going to get a large bag to fill with toy items to donate (to make room for new things), DS was already brainstorming what he could put in. DD, OTOH, was horrified that she would have to part with ANYTHING of hers. Even when we shop for the local "Angel Tree" families, she complains that she's not getting anything. Ugh!!!

I can barely get the clothes that don't fit her anymore to Good Will without her putting up a fight.

Suggestions? Commiseration?

And, just for the record, I do feel as though we say "no" to plenty of things she wants. She just wants A LOT and is very strong-willed about it.

twowhat?
11-11-2012, 10:45 PM
Ugh this is one thing I'm so afraid of because my DD2 is totally "me me me". DD1 isn't like this. And both are spoiled rotten by grandparents (My MIL will even buy things that they broke to replace them! So I'm sure they feel like money grows on trees!) So I don't really have an answer. But my plan is to stop trying to explain and get her "buy in", and just do it and be matter-of-fact about it, IFKWIM. Buy the food for the food pantry, drop it off, and only explain why in a short matter-of-fact response when she asks. ("Some people don't have enough to eat, and so we can help.") Take stuff to goodwill, and when she notices it is gone, explain why "you don't play with (or wear) those things anymore, and other kids who don't have as much as we do can enjoy them next so I donated them". I think (hope?) that my kids will eventually catch on just by me modeling the behavior I hope to see in them. Eventually.

Good luck:)

LMPC
11-11-2012, 10:51 PM
Honestly, I think most kids go thru something like this. I think if you just stick with the values you would like her to end up with, she will come around.