s/o name calling

[hillview]

What is the natural consequence or YOUR consequence if a DC calls another sibling a name. Examples
- stupid
- idiot
- poopy
- etc

DS2 is the main instigator and I need some tips. Today I started a you get to do an extra chore because it takes me time to help sort out the argument, time I'd otherwise spend doing a chore so you get one of mine if you name call.

HELP!

[hellokitty]

Time out or if it was really bad, I take away something fun. They also have to apologize to their sibling and we also have a talk about whether or not they like it when someone calls them a name.

Sent from my cm_tenderloin using Tapatalk 2

[daisymommy]

Apology to sibling, talking about how it would make them feel if someone called them that name, and then a consequence (which could be taking away a toy, privilege, writing sentences, giving money or a piece of their Halloween candy to sibling). We call that a peace offering :)

[hillview]

Ok I also do the time out and apology but it seems to have no impact.

[Kindra178]

We do time outs for hitting only. I prefer to take something away. The biggest thing that works with my twins right now is I get to pick their book at bedtime as opposed to them. They normally pick superhero books but I pick whatever "girl" books I like.

[sste]

Well, I don't know if there is some long-term negative that will come of this, but my practice is to force the offending child to give a gentle touch or to say something complimentary and loving or to give a hug. This has proved to be a significant disincentive for DS who for two solid years complained that DD is smelly! Also, I find it is hard for anyone to feel that negatively toward someone else when they are hugging them.

[hellokitty]

Oh, I almost forgot. A couple wks ago I tried a tactic with DS2 and DS3 making them sit on the sofa holding hands together. DS3 (who is 3) thought it was fun, DS2 (7) was fuming the entire time. I got a good laugh out of it. I threatened them with the same punishment and it worked for the rest of the day, but they were back to their same antics again the next day. Not a day goes by that my kids (esp DS2 and DS3) call one another names. I think that it's a normal part of being siblings. Not to excuse it, but what I'm saying is that I don't know if I there is a way to 100% fix this issue.

[doberbrat]

The first 2 words are not allowed in our house so that would be a TO.

I like SSTE's idea. I also wonder if its possible to have the name caller do something nice for the recipient. One of their chores?

[hillview]

The first 2 words are not allowed in our house so that would be a TO.

I like SSTE's idea. I also wonder if its possible to have the name caller do something nice for the recipient. One of their chores?

oh that is a good idea. The problem is that DS2 would be happy to call DS1 a name and then hold hands with him. DS1 would be annoyed to be called a name and then have to hold DS2's hand. Having DS2 do a chore for DS1 would be a great thing to try. Thanks!