Bridesmaid dresses.... What to do about large size differences?

[lalasmama]

Okay, it didn't take long for our first planning "crisis"!

My BFF is short and fluffy. My sister is tall and super fluffy. My younger DSD-to-be is my height and postpartum. My older DSD-to-be is also my height (shortish!) and thinner... When all is said and done, they range from a size 8 up to a 32/34.

I'm having a heck of a time finding something minimally flattering for all of them.

Options:
- same color, but not same dresses (they choose something flattering for their body)
- same dresses, flattering the largest
- ????

[codex57]

With that wide a range, I'm in favor of same color but not same dresses. You may want to have the guys do something similar so that the photos don't look unbalanced (all the same for guys but different for girls). Guys aren't gonna change much either way, but it'll help a little.

[rin]

I really like the option of same color, but not same dresses. A friend of mine did that at her wedding; picked three dress designs from one store using that all had the same color option and let her bridesmaids pick whichever dress they most liked.

My aunt chose to pick a dress design that was flattering for her best friend, who wore the largest dress size. While it looked lovely on her maid of honor, it was not flattering for the other three bridesmaids, especially my other aunt who has a pretty straight-up-and-down body type and ended up looking like she was being swallowed by fabric and was just lost in it. I think if you have bridesmaids with different body types it's not realistic to ask them all to wear the same dress, since someone will be miserable in it.

[blisstwins]

I did same color, and let them pick whatever style they feel most comfortable in. I think that is most humane.

[Globetrotter]

:yeahthat:

unless they are identical triplets :)

[new_mommy25]

Definitely same color. It's just easier that way! David's Bridal is pretty economical. I've worn several bridesmaid dresses from them.

[hillview]

same color not same dress.

[Jen841]

12 years ago I told my wedding party to wear a black dress that is sleeveless (they all wore gloves) and longer. All 6 bought/borrowed what was good on them. I was told "I love your bridesmaid dresses" and I would say "which one?"

They bought something good for them and what they wanted to spend (my MOH got a $15 dress on sale), and one borrowed a dress she LOVED from a co-worker. They call me when they wear the dresses and they have been part of many good times after our wedding : )

I say pick a color and let them pick what they want. You can offer to go shopping with them. The Moms in my group did their own thing, and the single/childless had some fun shopping at malls not bridal stores.

[Katigre]

I vote same color different styles.

[SkyrMommy]

I'm with PPs, same color and allow each bridesmaid to choose the most flattering style for them.

[boilermakermom]

I vote same color and let your girls pick their dresses. They will get a better fit, be happier with the dress, and be more comfortable.

[JElaineB]

I think you should go to a bridal store and see what's out there before you make a decision. I'm plus size and wore an Alfred Angelo gown at my wedding (years ago). It was very reasonably priced and would have been flattering for any size. Looks like David's Bridal goes up to only size 24W based on their website. Plus Size Bridal seems to have bridesmaid gowns from several designers that range from size 0 to 30W. Mackenzie Michaels gowns seem to go from size 2 to 36, and prices on some of those are very reasonable too, like $48 each!) I didn't look at all but a full list is here: http://www.plussizebridal.com/DesignerListings.asp?category=BM. (Note I haven't purchased from this store so I don't know how reliable they are).

[lizzywednesday]

When I got married, my maid of honor & BFF was a fairly fluffy size 18 or 20, my sister was a size 8, my college BFF was a size 8 and my cousin was a just-turned-13-year-old kid with a dancer's frame. We also had one of DH's friends on his side of the aisle in the same dress, but in black. This friend is super-athletic with a large bust (DD cup or larger, depending on time of month, etc.) and she looked lovely in the dress too.

I chose Empire-waisted, princess-seamed, tea-length dresses with full skirts that flattered my SIL, who had just had a baby. SIL was not in the wedding party, but she happily consented to be a fit-model so I could see how my "separates" idea would play out (or not, as the case ended up being.)

The tea-length dresses actually ended up flattering everyone from my 5'4" cousin on up to my 5'11" BFF ... and nobody had to pay to have a dress hemmed.

The style I chose is similar to this, but with spaghetti straps rather than a halter:

http://www.alfredangelo.com/collections/productdisplay.aspx?productID=c0f22ed2-a7de-4c88-aae0-a54ca440e096&categoryID=772f03c9-de43-4942-bfa0-da77e21ebd65&pg=0&colorId1=

[Gracemom]

12 years ago I told my wedding party to wear a black dress that is sleeveless (they all wore gloves) and longer. All 6 bought/borrowed what was good on them. I was told "I love your bridesmaid dresses" and I would say "which one?"

They bought something good for them and what they wanted to spend (my MOH got a $15 dress on sale), and one borrowed a dress she LOVED from a co-worker. They call me when they wear the dresses and they have been part of many good times after our wedding : )

I say pick a color and let them pick what they want. You can offer to go shopping with them. The Moms in my group did their own thing, and the single/childless had some fun shopping at malls not bridal stores.

I did something similar. I let them pick out their own dress. My only guideline was to choose a jewel tone (winter wedding). I game them each a black velvet wrap which designated them as a bridesmaid. This was 11 years ago! They were very happy and I only heard positive things about the look.

[boolady]

I vote same color and let your girls pick their dresses. They will get a better fit, be happier with the dress, and be more comfortable.

Yes, this X1000. My sister, who is thin and flat-chested (not disparaging...she'd be the first person to say this), begged and begged me not to choose strapless bridesmaids' dresses for my wedding because she thought it would be unflattering and look like she couldn't hold it up. So I didn't. I only had 3 bridesmaids, and we found a look that flattered all three, but I was only working with the size differential between about a 2-4 and a 10 between the three of them.

Fast forward to her wedding, and she has 5?6? I can't remember, bridesmaids, including me, and she makes us wear strapless dresses. Very nice for her thin friends, not so great for me, who was a very busty 16-18 at the time, and her other very busty friend who was not a small girl. I have never been so uncomfortable in my life, but wasn't really in a position to make her choose a dress that suited me, given that the majority of them loved the style she chose. It really would have been best to let us choose a style that each of us felt comfortable in, subject to parameters she detailed, of course.

[JElaineB]

Oh, don't forget that the Fields have a great book called Bridal Bargains! It is what I read when planning my wedding and why I bought Baby Bargains when I got pregnant. Not sure how active the Bridal Bargains forums (http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=4) are but there might be some good stuff if you search.

[sophiesmom03]

My attendants were all older than me, by 2-10 years, some had kids, some did not, etc. I asked them to find a dress or coordinating dresses that they liked, from a store they agreed on. Wedding was outdoors so I suggested colors to go with a garden theme. They ended up choosing the same dress at Lord & taylor or Talbot's, right off the rack and not spending a fortune.

[lalasmama]

Oh, don't forget that the Fields have a great book called Bridal Bargains! It is what I read when planning my wedding and why I bought Baby Bargains when I got pregnant. Not sure how active the Bridal Bargains forums (http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=4) are but there might be some good stuff if you search.

Book is on its way (bought it last night!). Couldn't think of planning without it, LOL! However the bridal forums are really quiet. It looks like 1-2 posts a month or so :(

[zukeypur]

I asked all of my ladies to get a black dress with short sleeves/no sleeves that they felt comfortable in. Black is the most slimming color, and you don't have to worry about matching different shades. They all felt great, looked great, and everyone looked great as a group.

[twowhat?]

Definitely pick a color and let them choose. You could even get a swatch and ask them to match it as closely as possible. Or like PPs suggested choose something from a place like David's Bridal where they have several styles in each color.

[BabyBearsMom]

My bridesmaids had a wide variety of sizes so I went with the same color different dresses tactic. Everyone looked great and really liked their dresses. I get lots of compliments when people see the pics

[KrisM]

I went with just having a Matron of Honor and let her pick the dress. If I had had more people, I would go with the same color and different dresses.

[Momit]

Another vote for same color different styles.

[MamaMolly]

Now these are the kinds of problems that are fun to help out with. ITA that I'd choose a color and let everyone find their own dress. I even think something as vague as 'pink' would be fine. Then everyone comes in various shades and they look like a flower garden!!

[knaidel]

I know very little about bridesmaids....I didn't have any (Israeli wedding) nor have I ever been one, but have you seen this site: ariadress.com-- lots of styles to choose from.

Since I know nothing about this topic, I have no idea if these prices are considered "reasonable" but worth looking into!

[Kindra178]

What about if everyone wore a black dress of their choice? Maybe you can come up with the length? I am seeing that more and more these days, even dresses of varying lengths. This way, everyone can pick something they feel comfortable with.

[katydid1971]

Book is on its way (bought it last night!). Couldn't think of planning without it, LOL! However the bridal forums are really quiet. It looks like 1-2 posts a month or so :(
Post here because I haven't had a wedding in my life for a few years and its fun to be part of yours. ;) I do ask that you post links to dresses, flowers etc
I agree with most the PP same color different styles and if you pick something like black they can be worn again. Jenna Bush's bridesmaids had different styles of dress in different colors.