How specific are you about your Christmas list?

[tlw]

Do you give DH a list or suggestions of things you would like for Christmas, and is it general or specific?

My mom is/was a terrible gift giver, and I feel like I carry that baggage of disappointment--never really getting a gift that I like. I am not hard to by for, am not picky, nor a snob about labels.

On one hand, I realize it's the "thought that counts" but I guess that's where the disappointment comes in--I never really felt/feel that she put any thought into the gift.

Now, I feel like I'm beginning to project that onto DH. We've been married for 13 years and he gave really thoughtful, great gifts in the beginning. Now, I don't feel like he pays much attention to what I like/who I am now, in terms of the types of gifts I would like.

So, how does it work in your family?

[lizzywednesday]

I keep an Amazon WishList up to date with things I'm looking at but wouldn't necessarily buy for myself.

If DH asks for specifics, I point him there or I tell him what I want.

However, he's a really good gift-giver, so it's not often an issue. (There is only one instance where he bombed out on a gift and that was the time he gave me Victoria's Secret bath & body stuff ... in the scent his ex-girlfriend used.)

[AnnieW625]

If I do not give DH a specific list with internet links or photo of what he usually won't even buy me the specific thing I asked for. DH hates to shop so I have gotten used to it, but for the most part if I give him a specific list he has no problem ordering something online.

[BabyBearsMom]

I also have an Amazon wishlist. Also when catalogs come, I circle and dog ear pages of things that I want and write in the size. Then, to make sure he sees it, I put the catalogs in the bathroom where I know he will read them :D

[Smillow]

As someone who got this:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41wxoQQ3KkL._SY355_.jpg
(it's a cantaloupe slicer - DH & DS are the only ones who eat cantaloupe)
last year for Christmas, I plan on being VERY specific this year...

[mackmama]

I give specific ideas to DH because he asks for them, although I'm also fine if he goes off-list.

[123LuckyMom]

I think if your mom and DH would not be offended, let them know very specifically what you want and where to get it. I do this. Heck, I often buy my own gifts. I yearn for the day when DH will surprise me with something, but I'm not holding my breath.

[TwinFoxes]

As someone who got this:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41wxoQQ3KkL._SY355_.jpg
(it's a cantaloupe slicer - DH & DS are the only ones who eat cantaloupe)
last year for Christmas, I plan on being VERY specific this year...

Wow.

I'm pretty specific. DH usually gets stuff from my list, but he also goes off-list and gets other things, some more successful than other. He's usually pretty good, but sometimes there are real clunkers.

[Ceepa]

DH usually gets stuff from my list, but he also goes off-list and gets other things, some more successful than other. He's usually pretty good, but sometimes there are real clunkers.

same here

[babystuffbuff]

I love my husband very much. He has many wonderful qualities.

However.

I think someone once gave him a women's gift catalogue from 1952 and he has been referring to it ever since. I have gotten so much jewelry and perfume over the course of our marriage, and I use very little of either. So for the past few years, I have given him very specific lists. It stinks because I LOVE being surprised and it does take some of the fun out of the holidays, but at least this way I get things that I like and will use. And even that doesn't always work - he wanted to get me a breadbox for my birthday this year, because he disliked my habit of keeping the bread in the microwave. Fortunately, my best friend found out and was able to steer him in a much better direction.

[ellies mom]

My husband is another one that needs a very specific list. This is what I want. This is the size. This is the color. This is where you can buy it. Occasionally, he'll go off list with better or worse success.

He used to be better. Then he kind of just stopped. My feelings were hurt for a few years but now I'm over it. I just give him a list.

[kara97210]

As someone who got this:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41wxoQQ3KkL._SY355_.jpg
(it's a cantaloupe slicer - DH & DS are the only ones who eat cantaloupe)
last year for Christmas, I plan on being VERY specific this year...

This is hilarious. I send my husband to my Amazon gift list or try to plan a joint gift - last year we bought a piece of art for our new house that was gift to each other. When he goes out on his own it's either great (diamond earrings) or bizarre (car washing kit).

[inmypjs]

My inlaws send out and request extremely specific lists, and to be honest, it drives me bonkers. I get the value of a list, I really do. I appreciate giving (and getting) something that is actually wanted. But their list is so specific, and so boring, and every year it's the same! X brand of socks, x kind and color of belt, some very specific item for the kitchen and here is where you can find it. It's hard to feel joy giving them these things because if they are not received, they will purchase them anyway. They actually just emailed out their list, and LITERALLY less than 5 minutes later we got emails from DH's siblings "claiming" certain items. Last year we went "off the list" (my idea). They seemed to like the items received, but DH's siblings were horrified. Sorry, I didn't mean to turn this into a vent!

[lalasmama]

Fairly specific lists- mainly because dad would buy me the same thing he buys his wife (track suits and sweats), and because SO and I are still new at this whole gift-giving thing. However, dd always goes off-list!

[KrisM]

I give lists and it often doesn't work. DH seems to get nervous or something and gives me a picture of the thing he thinks I should get.

Two years ago, I wanted a smartphone and told him which one. Instead, I got a quiz titled "so you're think you're smart enough for a smartphone" and it was all logic questions. Now, I like those things and I did answer them all correclty (it took about 3 hours), but it was NOT what I wanted for Christmas.

I don't mind somethings - for my birthday he made me a certificate for a massage, as he wasn't sure where I preferred to go these days. Fine. But, the phone thing was awful.

So, now I do lists with links and if it's something I really want...I send it to my mom.

[hillview]

very specific. He isn't terrible but usually ends up close but no cigar (bad fit, wrong style but close etc), with what he gets. Last year was a winner I asked for a set of pearls and he and the kids got me 4 cheap strands which initially I was put off by but in all reality they are perfect and I ended up being happy.

[anonomom]

DH is a really good gift giver -- he always tries really hard to find something that I don't know I want. Over the years, he's given me some amazing presents, and I appreciate it. When we were young and both working and had lots of disposable income, I didn't give him lists at all.

Now that we're on a much stricter budget, my lists are much more specific. There are often things that I really want that just aren't in the budget to just buy myself. So I put them on my Christmas/Birthday lists. My reasoning is twofolds: first, if I don't get that stuff as gifts, chances are I'm not getting it at all. Second, As good as DH is, it's still risky when he spends a fair amount of money on something he thinks I'll like. I'd rather have that money spent on something I know I'll like.

[FTMLuc]

DH's family was not a gift giving one, so he is really terrible at planning ahead and shopping, although he has great taste, so I have to be very specific and provide instructions in advance. As of yesterday I ordered my X-mas gift from him, it will come all boxed and wrapped, he'll just have to put in my stocking. Otherwise, he'll go out at the last minute and buy a great piece of expensive jewelry which 1) I do not need at the moment, although I'll love it and 2) we need to save the money for a house closer to my work. I will also hive him a few small ideas, like a new hairbrush for my purse, etc.

[ChristinaLucia]

DH and I stopped giving each other gifts. I buy what I want, he almost never buys anything because he just doesn't. It works for me!

[klwa]

Honestly, I think you sound a lot like me. I'm not that hard to please, but it seems like because of that, no one puts any thought into my gifts at all. When my mom was alive, once my middle brother got married, she just bought me a duplicate of whatever she bought my SIL because I had to like it if April did.

DH has a horrible habit of buying me gifts that are really for him. (Case in point, one year, I got a "bubble machine" for the bathtub. (Can't think of the real name.) He was going to be gone for Christmas, and insisted that we open our presents before he left. I asked that we wait until Christmas Day. (I had bought him a gift that was easily carriable.) But, since he wanted to "see my reaction" so badly, we opened the gifts. He then took my gift & announced that he was taking a bath, so he wanted to try it out. Yeah. That was for me.

Anyway, I've done both. Given DH specific things & given him general ideas. Either way, I still don't feel like he puts the effort in & it still hurts. General ideas, he's going to steer it towards something HE wants. Specific idea & I feel like I just bought myself a present.

[mommylamb]

I keep an Amazon wish list and I am a liberal user of the universal wish list button, so I can put anything from any website onto my Amazon list with a link.

[arivecchi]

My DH is a good gift giver but I am uber picky, so I send him a link to what I want. :)

[Smillow]

Two years ago, I wanted a smartphone and told him which one. Instead, I got a quiz titled "so you're think you're smart enough for a smartphone" and it was all logic questions. Now, I like those things and I did answer them all correclty (it took about 3 hours), but it was NOT what I wanted for Christmas.

:dizzy:Yikes! I thought the cantaloupe slicer was bad!!

[queenmama]

I don't bother with a list but maybe I should. DH used to be a thoughtful gift giver but it's been a long time since he gave me something that warmed my heart.

He has an Amazon wish list, but I'll usually look for something special that I know he'll love, like a first edition set of Winston Churchill ("The Second World War" ) books I found at a flea market for $25 and will never be able to top!

He generally buys himself whatever he wants so it is difficult.

Lara