I love Thanksgiving but I HATE the meal

[wellyes]

It is the least commercial, most family oriented of all holidays - I love Thanksgiving. But oh my goodness am I tired of the meal.

I've been a vegetarian for 19 years. DH has GI issues which make him unable to eat wheat and dairy, among other things. I am so tired of making our own and bringing it. Or having the host make 2 of everything. I don't want special accommodations! I just want to eat a roll and drink wine and enjoy hanging out with family and friends. But that is not nice to the host. Neither is asking for a different meal, though. Or bringing our own. I am so tired of it all. I'd rather NOT discuss it at the dinner table and I do try to deflect. But it always comes up. It's flipping exhausting. Everyone is trying to be nice (including me) and I feel like a big weirdo. Seriously, gimme some pie, I'm happy. But no there are phone calls and so much figuring out and extra work. And we are the annoying couple yet again!

No matter where we go: my parents, his parents, grandparents, if we host, it's the same. Most annoying meal of the year for me.

That is all.

[boolady]

I'm sorry everyone feels the need to make a big deal out of it. My sister's been a vegetarian for about 20 years at this point, and she eats just about everything but the turkey and gravy-- we purposely don't use chicken stock in the stuffing, and my dad will bake some in a casserole dish instead of stuffing all of it in the turkey. What's all of the pre-arranging about? The vegetable sides we have at Thanksgiving are some of the best parts of the meal--we'd have them whether there was a veg there or not. It's not like this is something new.

I don't know why your vegetarianism and your husband's medical issues always have to come up...there's no need to say anything about it at all. Sorry people are making it more complicated than it needs to be.

[arivecchi]

It sounds like you are being super gracious about it! Do any places make vegetarian Thanksgiving meals? I would order one and bring it with so you don't have to always cook for yourself!

P.S. I would totally join you and only pig out on pie if I could. My favorite part of the meal!

[belovedgandp]

Definitely the one meal a year where people feel free to make comments about what's on your plate. Our meal is a huge potluck - community center, 100 relatives, big, big - so people pick and chose and do mostly their own thing.

But still there are those relatives who feel the need to inspect your choices. My poor brother still has to hear about the years he had two rolls and a small piece of turkey on his plate. Mind you he is now 6'2" and in his 30's but the relatives give him grief about his food choices 30 years ago.

[georgiegirl]

Whole foods has some vegetarian, vegan and gluten free options.

I've been vegetarian for about 18 years, and I usually host or make a few dishes. The only things that aren't vegetarian on my menu are the turkey and the gravy. This year I'm making butternut squash risotto with kale (vegan and gluten free) as the vegetarian main dish.

It is hard to go to someone's place where everything has meat in it.

[gatorsmom]

That would be tiresome. DH doesn't drink any alcohol. He's in AA. But he has a big personality and everyone assumes he does. I am so tired of the awkward moments At holiday parties when people want to joke with him and push him to have just one and he has to get serious and say, "No! I really don't drink." and of course they want to know why but don't know how to politely ask. It's so old.

Op, I get it.

[justlearning]

This year I'm making butternut squash risotto with kale (vegan and gluten free) as the vegetarian main dish.

Oooh, this sounds yummy! And this would be something nice to serve to my gluten-free vegan friends. Could you please share your recipe?

[misshollygolightly]

This is a little OT, but I thought it might make you feel a bit better! I was at a lunch for other new hires hosted by some of the higher ups. One of the other new people was vegetarian--I've never heard such awkward and persistent comments on one person's dietary choices! It was like the higher ups just couldn't find anything else to talk about for a solid 15 minutes! I felt so bad for the other new person. She handled it very gracefully (I'm sure she's heard it all by now), but it was just so bizarre how all these intelligent professionals could suddenly find nothing more interesting to talk about than vegetarianism, food allergies, and food preferences (which somehow they lumped all together--as if they're all the same!). I think people are just sort of fascinated by other peoples' food issues, and I guess it makes for an obvious topic of conversation when you can't really think of anything else. Sorry you have to go through this as well! I've resolved to try to redirect the conversation if I'm ever in a similar situation again.

[hillview]

This is why we eat out

[crl]

:grouphug: Ds used to be allergic to milk. Food issues do just get old, don't they?

Catherine

[JustMe]

I'm sorry, what a pain.

We are vegetarians too. Luckily our friends are supportive--I bring one vegetarian sort of side/sort of main dish and they have a significant amount of vegetarian sides.

Sorry to sidetrack a b---hing post, but I would love the squash and kale recipe, georgiegirl. Can you post it on here or post it on the what's cookign section and let us know?

[georgiegirl]

Oooh, this sounds yummy! And this would be something nice to serve to my gluten-free vegan friends. Could you please share your recipe?

http://www.marthastewart.com/331729/butternut-squash-baked-risotto?czone=food/thanksgiving-center/thanksgiving-center-turkey&center=0&gallery=274911&slide=286246

Just don't add the Parmesan cheese at the end, and it's vegan. I've never tried it out, but it looks really yummy.

[KpbS]

We've got LOTS of dietary issues here too. :hug:

I say next year, you turn Thanksgiving into a potluck dessert fest. Skip the awkwardness and bake and/bring some gluten free, dairy free desserts some "regular" desserts, homemade whipped cream, coffee and call it all good!

[ahisma]

I'm sorry. We've a vegetarian / vegan family, I totally understand.

It took a LONG time, but we finally have it down to a science. We always eat at the in-laws, BIL is vegan and SIL is vegetarian. We all bring dishes to pass and MIL makes her turkey.

Prior to that, MIL did it all, by choice. That meant that we ate some frozen veggie mix (the little diced carrots / pea mix) and some overcooked baked potatoes that I never could figure out how to cut into (DH poked a hole in the end and sucked it out - who eats like that?:rotflmao:)

Then, we drive an hour to have desert with my family, which we bring. Kind of a nightmare, but at least we eat and generally don't offend anyone.