tipe for managing a slow nursing newborn and an impatient toddler

[amom526]

DS2 is 6 days old. nursing is going way better than it went the first time and DS2 seems to really enjoy nursing, but he is a very sleepy baby. He can take up to an hour to nurse, and even after that, he may not be done. DS1 is 21 months and is really struggling with all the changes. I really have trouble doing things one handed while nursing, and DS1 is very used to me being very hands on and playing with him.

I am totally overwhelmed with how this nursing thing is going to work. Right now DS1 is basically refusing to be in the same room as me while I nurse. (which is ok for the next 2 days until my mom leaves). What happens when it;s breakfast or lunch time and the baby wants to nurse? 45 minutes is a long time to ask a 21 month old to play alone.

I am thinking of doing one formula bottle a day, so then I can pump one feed, which will basically give me 2 bottle feeds a day. Is this a really bad idea? I need DS2 to be able to take a bottle (as much as thats in my control), so I want to introduce it pretty soon. I feel like these 2 bottles a day might give me enough flexibility to stay sane, but I'm not sure.

I have read all the tips about having special toys and snacks for during nursing, which may help. But DS1 is a very anxious personality, and he is already really struggling. I'm really not sure he'll be able to handle the long nursing sessions.

[jennilynn]

My advice is to get yourself a Moby wrap and learn how to nurse in it. When DS2 was a newborn, I wore him all the time. Made life with another little one (mine was also 21 months old) so much easier.
Also, it's okay to prioritize. Sometimes the baby needs mommy and older DS has to wait, even if that upsets him.
I wouldn't introduce a bottle this soon, or worry about pumping. Just focus on nursing the baby and taking care of your toddler, without having to wash nipples and bottle and pump parts (way more work IMO!) If someone is available to help you, ask them to hold the baby after a feeding so you can have a few minutes to play with your older DS. Don't worry, they will both adjust! It was tough for us in the beginning too but now my boys play so well together. Good luck!

[CharlotteMommy]

I let DS watch way more TV than I normally would have been comfortable with, but it definitely helped when I was nursing newborn DD. TV was something that we really did only when I was nursing, and I knew that eventually as DD got older that total TV time would naturally decrease as solids were introduced and nursing got faster. It's a tough time, but you'll all make it through! Good luck!!

[hellbennt]

My advice is to get yourself a Moby wrap and learn how to nurse in it. When DS2 was a newborn, I wore him all the time. Made life with another little one (mine was also 21 months old) so much easier.
Also, it's okay to prioritize. Sometimes the baby needs mommy and older DS has to wait, even if that upsets him.
I wouldn't introduce a bottle this soon, or worry about pumping. Just focus on nursing the baby and taking care of your toddler, without having to wash nipples and bottle and pump parts (way more work IMO!) If someone is available to help you, ask them to hold the baby after a feeding so you can have a few minutes to play with your older DS. Don't worry, they will both adjust! It was tough for us in the beginning too but now my boys play so well together. Good luck!

:yeahthat:
nurse in a carrier- I learned to nurse in a ring sling, moby wrap, you name it, lol!

[rin]

We have a 26 month gap, so similar. I try to do a lot of encouraging DD1 to do sitting activities like reading stories, playing w/playdoh, coloring, etc, that I can do with her while also nursing DD2. It's actually a little harder lately since DD2 is much bigger and squirmier (she's 5 months now), but DD1 has actually been way better than I thought she would be. We've also done a lot of me asking her to play quietly, etc, and I'll give her a "task" (like look at these pictures, etc), and she's gotten much better about this as time has gone on.

[edurnemk]

Our age gap is much bigger, but I agree about nursing in a wrap or sling. The day I put DD in a wrap, DS was so happy, he exclaimed "yay! now you don't have to hold her, so you can play with me!"

I also admit to letting him watch more TV than usual for the first 6-8 weeks. But DS has also been doing a lot of coloring, playing with play duh, etc.

Newborns are slow nursers in general, but I'm sure he'll get better and quicker at it (DD was a fats nurser from birth but DS took about an hour, and then it got better as he grew). Once he starts falling into a schedule it will also be easier to plan and prepare breakfast, etc.

[elephantmeg]

TV and both in my lap. I sat in our big lazy boy rocker recliner and DS would watch thomas on one side of my lap and DD would nurse on the other. Then they would switch. As long as I paid attention to DS for the most part during the TV he was happy that we were watching TV together and mostly forgot about DD! If he was eating I would stay within view but nurse her while he ate and ate on top of her or grabbed a bite later.

ETA we also did a lot of playdough. Anything I could do one handed was a plus

[jacksmomtobe]

I haven't read all the replies but someone gave me a nursing box which contained "special" toys for the older child that only got pulled out during nursing times. Ok just re-read your post. Could you when baby is sleeping say it is the other child's special time so that your older child gets some one on one time with you so ds1 feels more secure overall or how about getting him a special blanket or stuffed animal that he can pull out to snuggle next to you while you nurse. I think the root of the problem is finding a way to make DS1 feel more secure with the big change that has occurred. Wish I had more tips. It will get easier as ds1 adjusts.