How can I help my disorganized child?

[mikeys_mom]

DS is 8yo and completely disorganized. He does have some executive functioning issues.

At home, despite our best efforts at making sure everything in his room has a place, it is always a disaster zone in there. I go in every few months and clean it up because he just doesn't have the ability to organize it. I show him where everything goes, ask him if he thinks it will work for him. He sometimes has some changes to make, which are fine. Within the week, it's back to disaster zone. Books piled up on his nighttable, legos "positioned" all over the floor, stuff like snap circuits and other science-type things always "in progress". He just seems to never be finished with any one thing and gets upset at the idea of putting it away while he is in the middle of something. We don't have the space for so much stuff to be in progress. I also don't have the energy to make sure he puts one thing away before starting something else. I'm usually just happy he can keep himself busy while I'm dealing with his younger sisters.

At school, his desk, cubby (in the classroom) and schoolbag always seem to be a mess. Some folders he brings home on Fridays and are supposed to go back in the cubby on Monday but he says he doesn't have time so they sit in his schoolbag all week. He is the kid who always has random papers flying all over the place. I sit with him every night, we do homework and then I put everything back in his school bag. I keep track of certain folders that only go back to school on certain days. We were told by both the psychologist and psychiatrist that for now we need to walk him through every step of the way. The problem is, that his disorganization at school just seems to be getting worse. Last week he lost a folder and a workbook. The workbook was found in his desk, eventually. Folder seems to be gone. The teacher just had him start a new one.

We have a Dr's appointment in January (nothing available sooner) and are meeting with the school next week. I am trying to come up with some concrete things to suggest that they do to help him out. Plus, hoping we can use some similar strategies at home. Anyone BTDT with a disorganized child? What worked for you?

[egoldber]

LOL! Read this thread I posted when older DD was 8. ;) Lots of good ideas.

http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=353375&highlight=homework+organization

FWIW, she is soooooo much better now. Time, practice and maturity have helped immeasurably. We do still use and I highly recommend the organizer that we bought. I have seen it elsewhere since then.

Also, we started posting lists of things she needed to do. We also taped one to her desk at school that outlined what she needed to do at dismissal time. In retrospect her teacher that year was not giving them enough time to get organized at dismissal time.

Also, some kids at her school use plastic organizar bins beside their desks instead of cramming everything in there.

Like this: http://www.target.com/p/iris-file-boxes-clear-set-of-6/-/A-10207112#prodSlot=dlp_medium_1_3&term=plastic%20file%20bin

or this:

http://www.target.com/p/room-essentials-file-storage-box-with-lid/-/A-13773925#?lnk=sc_qi_detailbutton

[ladysoapmaker]

I advocate lists. This is what we do with DS#2 and what I do with myself.

It will get better. However it may seem to get worse first.

And I fully believe that organization is a learned process it just takes some people longer to learn it.

Jen

[inmypjs]

Linguisystems has some executive function skill developing products.

http://www.linguisystems.com/products/product/search?topic=41

I see this company recommended a lot at The Well Trained Mind (homeschool forums).

[mikeys_mom]

LOL! Read this thread I posted when older DD was 8. ;) Lots of good ideas.

http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=353375&highlight=homework+organization

FWIW, she is soooooo much better now. Time, practice and maturity have helped immeasurably. We do still use and I highly recommend the organizer that we bought. I have seen it elsewhere since then.

Also, we started posting lists of things she needed to do. We also taped one to her desk at school that outlined what she needed to do at dismissal time. In retrospect her teacher that year was not giving them enough time to get organized at dismissal time.

Also, some kids at her school use plastic organizar bins beside their desks instead of cramming everything in there.

Like this: http://www.target.com/p/iris-file-boxes-clear-set-of-6/-/A-10207112#prodSlot=dlp_medium_1_3&term=plastic%20file%20bin

or this:

http://www.target.com/p/room-essentials-file-storage-box-with-lid/-/A-13773925#?lnk=sc_qi_detailbutton

Your post sounds very similar to DS!

We actually have a Rubbermaid bin with all the supplies he needs for homework. Last year in grade 2 he had to use scissors, glue, markers, etc... much more often. This year, in grade 3, it's mainly just regular pencils that he needs and sometimes highlighters for Hebrew. I usually just sharpen the pencil and sit him down with the pencil, eraser and book open to the exact right page. If I were to leave him on his own, he'd spend forever playing around with all the supplies. Seeing as I have to sit with him through every excruciating moment of homework, it's not the biggest deal to me to have to hand him all his supplies. Gives me something to do other than pull out my hair ;).

My bigger concern is getting him organized in school, seeing as I'm not there. The lists idea might work. I'll have to discuss with the teachers the best way to make them effective. I think that he gets a bit frazzled at dismissal time and gets so caught up in trying to get out the door that his mind is just all over the place and he can't pull it together to get organized. And, even with that, he is often the last one out of the class and often comes outside with some books in his bag and some papers in his hands. Maybe if he has the assistant or teacher remind him to look at his list and slow down, it would help. He'd probably also need a morning list to remind him what to take out of his school bag.

Plus it gets a bit complicated because he's doing a double curriculum - regular secular program in the mornings then Hebrew immersion and religious program in the afternoons. It's all in the same classroom but he really should have all his English stuff organized and in his bag before lunch and then he only has to deal with Hebrew stuff at the end of the day.

Good to know that this skill can be learned and that it gets better. I was having visions of having to be his personal assistant throughout all his school years. Also, I am a pretty organized person so I find it very difficult to understand how he can be so disorganized. To me it just seems so simple but I know that for him it's not.