View Full Version : Please come pick up your son

12-05-2012, 05:04 PM
Today we received the dreaded phone call from the school. Please come and pick up your son as he is having too rough of a day to continue. The teacher couldn't handle him any more. I pretty much cried the whole way through the school getting to his room. I was so scared he was being suspended. He was not suspended and I signed him out as sick.

His holiday program is tomorrow. He had a subsitute aide today. He doesn't speak but has actually said two new words at school last week and repeated one of the words today. We know from past history that when he is on the cusp of a new breakthrough that his behavior goes downhill. Teacher understand this but she said she just couldn't take getting hit anymore today. The teacher is very understanding and said she loves my son and it shows. He always gives him a big hug and he expects it from her. She said that today when doing an activity she didn't say "good job DS1" at the end of the activity. He got so mad he narrowed his eyes and started hitting his hands on the table and then grabbed her wrist and wouldn't let go.

WI had a new state law that anytime a child needs to be restrained or hits that a form needs to be completed. In the past three weeks I've received two forms and tomorrow will receive two more for today. His regular ed teacher told me he hasn't been in her room for 3 weeks due to practice for the holiday program. I am so worried about all of these forms going into his permanent file. Some day I will be placing him in a group home. Will that group home request his school files and see these forms? Will they decline to take him because of a pattern/history of violance? Am I over reacting???

I am frustrated!!!!!!! I feel bad for his teachers and aides. Just because he doesn't injury/leave marks when he hits doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt physically and mentally. His teacher told me he is working great but transitions are just very tough for him right now. We both agree that he is working through something in his little brain and just can't do that and have good behavior. I just want him to be able to do both. I've waited 9 years to hear him begin to speak. Are we on the cusp? Have we turned the cornor and he will now begin to speak?

12-05-2012, 06:22 PM
I'm sorry. :(

12-05-2012, 06:29 PM
Many, many hugs. :grouphug: I hope that this is just a struggle on the way to finding his voice.

I feel for you. DS has had a hard week too. Today he tried to bite and scratch his aid. These teachers really deserve so much more than they get paid. Gratitude only goes so far. ETA: (I hit post too soon!) I always feel badly when DS acts out, but there's nothing we parents can do, but it's so stressful.

12-05-2012, 07:17 PM
I'm so sorry he's having a rough time.

12-05-2012, 07:42 PM
:grouphug: I'm sorry he's having a rough time. I hope things breakthrough for him soon.

12-05-2012, 08:20 PM
:hug::hug::hug: My heart goes out to you and DS1. I remember those days when DD could not express herself adequate verbally and would turn to physical expression as that was the only way she knew her message would be understood. It is hard on everyone, but especially the child who so desperately wants to be able to have us understand.

That he has said two new words in the last week made me smile! I hope he continues to add more. :yay:

12-05-2012, 08:37 PM
i'm sorry for your rough week, but so glad the teacher was understanding even though she couldn't keep him at school today. try not to stress about these forms - if you end up placing him, the home will also understand, especially when you explain how he is so frustrated before a breakthrough.

12-05-2012, 09:27 PM
i'm sorry for your rough week, but so glad the teacher was understanding even though she couldn't keep him at school today. try not to stress about these forms - if you end up placing him, the home will also understand, especially when you explain how he is so frustrated before a breakthrough.

HUGS I am so sorry that sounds very hard. You are doing a great job and so lucky to have a great teacher!

12-05-2012, 10:09 PM
:hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug:

Loads and loads of hugs for you, mama. I hope with all my heart that your DS1 begins to speak for you. It really does sound like he is at the point of a breakthrough for something! But no matter what, your love and strength for your children shine through everything.

12-05-2012, 10:28 PM
Giant hugs and prayers for you and your DS.

12-06-2012, 01:22 AM
I am so sorry! What a difficult situation for a mama to be in---especially for a mama who cares about everyone involved!

Is there no higher up behavioral specialist in the district who could be called in? I know this is not about easily changing behaviors, but sometimes they do have ideas that work and see things in their observations that those working with the child on a daily basis might not see.

12-06-2012, 09:03 AM
:hug: That's never a fun phone call to receive.

Hooray on the new words though! :cheerleader1:

12-06-2012, 09:10 AM
Thank you all for the support. Just sent the kids on the bus to school. I really hope that today goes better. Tonight is the holiday program and then things can go back to normal at school. He enjoys being in the program as he smiles and smiles on stage with the rest of the elementary kids. I think it is mainly he is trying to break through with new skills and is frustrated.

We are a small rural school and there is no district behavioral specialist. The day before this all happened I called our family practic Dr and asked for a referal. The clostest we have is a school psych.

I am tempted to bring into school is chi machine http://www.chimachine4u.com/ to use in addition to his other sensory diet (swinging, brushing, jumping).

12-06-2012, 09:57 AM
Sending, hugs, prayers and positive thoughts for you and your sweet boy.

12-06-2012, 10:29 AM
ds's classroom just got some really neato sensory items. one is like a little soft plushy rubbery canoe, called a peapod. it gives almost a full body hug in a sitting position. i wonder if something like that would be a good sensory diet tool when he feels a bit out of control.

http://www.autism-products.com/Sensory_Pea_Pod_p/1325197.htm?gclid=CK3L_cT-hbQCFQ-f4AodhlgA7g here, found a link. ds really seemed to like it, and i bed it would be a good one for self-calming.

12-06-2012, 12:47 PM
I'm so sorry that your little guy is going through a rough time (and you too)! I hope it is indeed a sign of a breakthrough and that smoother roads are ahead.

My DS has similar notes in his file, so I understand how much that pains and worries you.

Hugs. :hug::hug::hug:

12-06-2012, 10:46 PM
Sorry you are going through this and hope today was a better day.

12-07-2012, 01:53 AM
:hug: I hope today was better for behavior and that the improvements in speech continue.


12-07-2012, 04:07 PM
:hug: I hope today was better for behavior and that the improvements in speech continue.


:yeahthat: FWIW, I always think you are an amazing mom when I read your posts.

12-08-2012, 11:51 PM
Again thank you all for the support. Today was another rough day. The first half went well but the second half...:shake: Decided it was best to focus on the positives and not the negatives.

12-16-2012, 08:03 AM
You really are an amazing mom. The moms here with children with special needs truly inspire and awe me.

12-16-2012, 12:08 PM
I have to say how exciting it is that DS spoke. That is awesome! I know how hard it had to have been to get that call. You are doing an awesome job with him! Keep in mind that at this time of year all children have behavioral issues. Schedules at school get interrupted with holiday activities and I am sure the transitions are hard on DS. I hope you and DS have a great week.

01-25-2013, 04:45 PM
I'm just now reading this but wanted to address your group home/school file concerns. I am in a different state (CA), and my experience is from the 90's, but I know as social workers/administrators we did not have access to the placements'/potential placements' school cumulative files. The placing workers (county social workers or probation officers) had more access, but unless the parental rights had been restricted the parent still had a lot of rights in the educational process. I believe it was the placing workers who had to sign on IEP's and/or the parent. The group home administrator and the group home social workers would sign as being in attendance. You could check with someone in your state who advocates for parents on these issues. A school principal should also know who has access to the cumulative file (aka "cume"). Any group home that is the right placement for your son should know how to deal with the behavior you described. I hope things are going better now that the holidays are over.