How far will a parent go?

[american_mama]

A silly poll... let's say your child has lost her retainer after less than a week of owning it. To be more clear, YOU have lost the retainer after she left it on a table at a school concert reception, you picked it up meaning to chide her for not being more careful with it, but then you unthinkingly threw it in the trash with the paper plates. It costs $150 to replace. You have spent every day this week lecturing her about the necessity of being repsonsible with her new retainer. There were three big trash cans in the reception space, you were among the last 20 people to leave, and you realized what happened three minutes after leaving the building.

What do you do? Dig through the trash? Blame your daughter? (Hey, Modern Family would do that and make it funny to boot.) Kiss the $150 goodbye and order a new on?

I dug through the trash. And yes, there was audible swearing in front of my kids when I realized what I'd done.

And yes, I washed it off with soap, and then lied to DD and said I'd left it on the table.

[oneplustwo]

:hysterical: I am so sorry for laughing at your pain, OP. But you painted such a funny picture, plus I could see this happening to me with one of my kids someday. I haven't voted yet but I will vote that I would do the dumpster dive if in your shoes.

I like a way one family approaches lost retainers (when lost by the child): first one lost, parents will replace. Second one lost, child pays for half. Thereafter, child is responsible for paying the full cost of replacement. We haven't entered the world of braces and retainers yet, but when we do we'll probably do something like this. And save the dumpster diving for when it's my mistake.

[Smillow]

:waving4:I have dug through trash for far less valuable items...:bag

[randomkid]

I voted other because I would dig through the trash AND blame the kid. Had she not left it on the table, it would not have been up to me to remember to pick it up (then absent mindedly throw it in the trash!) :ROTFLMAO:

[JustMe]

I would definitely be digging through the trash! In fact, we had a very weird thing happen here (I think I even posted about it). Dd was actually very responsible about her retainer most of the time. The one time she did not put it back in her mouth after eating lunch at our kitchen table, I did not notice and we went for for a walk. I noticed very soon after we returned she had no retainer. Dd definitely had it in her mouth before lunch and did not put it back in (so it had to be on the table at some point). We searched the house, I swept the floor repeatedly and yes, I went through my outside and inside garbage very slowly (with gloves!) thinking maybe I threw it out with some garbage. Never found it anywhere! Luckily her dentist said it was time for her to stop wearing it.

Somehow I thought they were more expensive than $150. Yes, that's a lot of money to me, but I had the idea they were even more than that.

[happy2bamom]

My son lost his glasses after owning them for 3 days. We were at a school function. Yes, DH and I both went dumpster diving. Long story short, we never found them and $300 went down the tubes just like that!

[m448]

Considering I have my own issues after the initial freakout (mine would have involved choice words too) I would have come clean. It's an opportunity handed on a silver platter to show your DD that her mom has character and the ability to admit when she's made a mistake even while being the mom. She had her part in the matter and seeing you take responsibility for your part will model the right way to take responsibility.

Learning moments and all that, although my DH would likely be shaking his head at yet another Lucille Ball moment.

[katydid1971]

This almost exact thing happened when I was a kid. I gave my mom my retainer to hold in her purse. She wrapped it in a napkin then accidentally threw it in the trash. We did the dumpster dive. ;)

[Melaine]

:waving4:I have dug through trash for far less valuable items...:bag

:yeahthat:

[maestramommy]

This reminds me of the Steve Martin movie parenthood, where they were diving through all the dumpsters looking for the retainer:tongue5:

[sunshine873]

When I was little, we were on a family vacation. Stopped at a fast food place for lunch and started back on the road. 30 minutes later, my sister realizes she forgot her retainer. my dad turned that car around and back we went. I believe my sister was the one who "got to" dig through the trash. She found it...and still talks about it to this day. It made an impression on her and she never forgot it again!

In the OPs situation: After reading the responses, I love what m448 had to say and hope I would have the mindset to react the same way...we both made a mistake, now lets get together, look for it and make it right.

[egoldber]

I said other. I *might* dumpster dive depending on how yucky the trash was. A cookies and punch type reception, yes. But a regular school lunch, no way, no how.

ETA: And I would use it as an opportunity to admit culpability. It will also become family legend. "Remember the time mom threw my retainer away and we had to dig through the trash at school for it????" ;)

[infomama]

This reminds me of the Steve Martin movie parenthood, where they were diving through all the dumpsters looking for the retainer:tongue5:

:yeahthat:. I love that movie. And would totally dig for something valuable.

[lizzywednesday]

(1) In response to the poll, yes, I'd totally dumpster-dive.

(2) The 1989 film, Parenthood, has dealt with this scenario; observe:

http://movieclips.com/Fd9AP-parenthood-movie-kevin-loses-his-retainer/

(3) In addition to the soap, I'd have done a soak in Polident.

(4) I used to always have my retainer case on my person when I wore them. (Well, except for the time we were at the beach and I left it in my shoe ... and subsequently cracked it. But I'd almost finished the mandated wearing stage, so I guess it wasn't as dire as your DD's situation, OP.)

[nfowife]

Yeah I would dig through the trash for a retainer for sure!

When BIL was a teenager, he had a bridge/fake tooth and it somehow came loose and he swallowed it. IL's made him go through his own poop in the toilet bowl and find it..... gross!!

[khalloc]

I would order a new retainer.

But my mother actually had this happen to her and we dumpster dived. LOL. It was the day before school started at the end of the summer and my mom, brother and I had gone to the Aquarium. Then we ate lunch at Fanueil Hall. It was this little italian place kind of over by the Purple Shamrock. Anyways, we were on the orange line going home when my brother got this wierd feeling. My mom told him he was just nervous about going to school the next day. Then after a few stops he realized he left his retainer at the restaurant!

We took the train back downtown and I remember my mom and brother were in an alley looking thru the trash bags. I refused to pick thru it. I held their stuff. My mom wanted my brother to check the table where we had been sitting. He did, but there were new people eating there now. He was shy so he didnt really check that much around the table.

My mom and bro picked thru 2 huge bags of trash and didnt find the retainer. Then my brother went back to the table and found the retainer wrapped in a napkin under the table!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember we all got a good laugh when that movie Parenthood came out. It was after we had our own dumpster diving experience.

[khalloc]

Yeah I would dig through the trash for a retainer for sure!

When BIL was a teenager, he had a bridge/fake tooth and it somehow came loose and he swallowed it. IL's made him go through his own poop in the toilet bowl and find it..... gross!!

That is disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nfowife]

Yeah we took pics and everything... He wore gloves and a dr mask. We called him "sh-t tooth for a whike after that...

[karstmama]

i'd dig through a couple of trash cans in a known area, but not a dumpster or a humongous collection of trash cans.

[123LuckyMom]

I WOULD go through the trash. I would NOT search in poop! Ewwwwwww!

[american_mama]

In terms of digging through poop, someone on diaperswappers (cloth diaper board) posted a hysterical story that involved her husband suiting up to dig through poopy cloth diapers. She posted photos. I think he'd forgotten to wash the diapers for days/weeks while she was away/in hospital/something and, I think, the diapers grew mushrooms. MUSHROOMS. The stories and photos were so gross and so funny. I don't think she was planning to resurrect the diapers at that point, she was just photographing the mess for the message board. We were following that post like it was breaking news, it was so gross and unbelievable.

[AnnieW625]

:waving4:I have dug through trash for far less valuable items...:bag

:yeahthat: including the LL Bean, Lands End, Boden, and Gymboree coupons or catalogs that have discount coupons or codes attached to them.;)

[fedoragirl]

This is so funny because we just finished watching an episode of the TV show, Parenthood and the parent is going through the trash looking for the retainer that his kid misplaced.

[hellokitty]

Lol, I'm laughing with you, not at you. I had several friends who has to do this at school as kids (with their moms) and I dread that my chances of having to dig through the trash as a mother will be quite high.

[cleo27]

I had to do it with my mom when I was in elementary school. I put the retainer in my lunch bag in the cafeteria and forgot and threw it away. We went back after school and did the dumpster dive. I vaguely remember finding the paper bag with my name on it and being so relieved. I was pretty mortified but luckily all the kids were gone for the day.