s/o emergency or backup childcare?

[♥ms.pacman♥]

so i see this mentioned a few times here, in terms of having a backup in case your kid is sick and can't go to daycare (or nanny is sick or can't come). maybe these are dumb questions but i just wonder how it works and all. would love to hear from those who have experience with this. i guess my main questions are

1) are there really people willing to babysit sick children? as in feverish, and/or puking, miserable toddlers? I mean, in a real pinch i would ask a friend to watch my kids, but not if my kids themselves were sick..i mean, I wouldn't want them to get sick. Especially if they had kids of their own!

2) i imagine most situations needing emergency childcare are last minute. do you just say hey, it's 3am, my kid just puked..can you come over in 4 hours, so i can go to my meeting? we do have a sitter the kids know and love, and she has cared for ds when he was snotty, coughing etc...though, she does sit for other several families. Good chance she would not be available on short notice.

3) would your sick kid actually be okay with a virtual stranger caring for them?while i detest it when people use that term in terms of childcare, i say stranger here, bc unlike our sitter-who has seen the kids weekly for 2+ years- and their daycare teachers, i imagine a person used as a "backup" would be someone the kid does not know well. when my kids are sick all they want is mommy or daddy.

sorry if these are dumb questions. i just really would like to know how it works. DH works decent hours and does a TON in the evenings but travels a good bit, usually a week at a time. I could probably get a day off here and there as a sick day but something like 2-3 days in a row, when i literally just started would be pushing it. I just don't know who I could ask or where i could look to get backup care.

[arivecchi]

Go to care.com. They have emergency child care providers listed and you can select people who take care of sick kids. I would interview a couple and keep their contact info in your cell. Another idea is to ask the people who work at daycare. They may be able to point you to someone. Finally, have you looked into getting a nanny? I would look into that option too. Pricier but so convenient when you have pre-schoolers. Feel free to PM me anytime if you have questions.

[joonbug]

Subscribing because I always wondered about it as well... So far I am SAHM but planning to go back to school ft when DD is in Kindergarten. I know she will be older but the challenges are the same. We have no family close by that could help in emergencies, Dd gets sick a lot, too, hope it will get better as the time progresses but still. DH has a very demanding job and cannot really take days off sick at all. Vacations have to be planned in advance etc.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm a SAHM. Just once a friend called me at the very last minute (I think in the morning) to ask for help. Her DS was feverish and couldn't go to daycare. Both parents has meetings. I said ok. The mom just went in for her meeting then came back for DS. She didn't expect to leave him here all day. She worked from home or took a half day for the rest.

My other friend said she's already burned 9 sick days this year- 3 for when she had strep, 6 on the kids.

[egoldber]

Fortunately, my kids really just don't get sick that often. But when it happens, then DH or I has to stay home with them. I can usually telework on those days or at least most of the day. Is telework an option for you?

[♥ms.pacman♥]

thanks for the replies

so for sites like care.com or sittercity...do u just find a few, interview them then have a list on hand, and when you need the care you just go through the list until you find someone available?

and when DH is not traveling, he telecommutes. So he can definitely work from home, but 1) he often has teleconferences and 2) working from home is nearly impossible with a sick, needy toddler. I can see putting a school age kid in front of the TV for most of the day and just checking in periodically while working in another room , but with a 2 year old, this is just so much harder. Luckily this week his telecon meetings were on Tues & Wed, days kids were in daycare. So he was able to take a sick day on Monday and today without much hassle. still i felt bad about it.

As for me, i may be able to do some stuff from home, or even just take a sick day, eventually. But i just wonder about meetings/presentations and stuff. Even if i could call in to a meeting from home i just don't see it happening. I cannot even make 2 minute phone calls at home with kids there!

[egoldber]

But i just wonder about meetings/presentations and stuff.

I have called in to meetings and that is harder.

But typically when I telework I catch up on paperwork, email, and write documents. There's always something that I could be writing/documenting that I just haven't gotten around to yet.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I have called in to meetings and that is harder.

But typically when I telework I catch up on paperwork, email, and write documents. There's always something that I could be writing/documenting that I just haven't gotten around to yet.

that makes sense. i know when i get into the swing of things i can spend a lot of time at home just crunching data, writing code and making Powerpoints and stuff. i guess the meeting thing, if dh is OOT is just when it gets hairy. at least i personally don't have to travel much (if at all).

[egoldber]

Well, my advice is try not to borrow trouble. :) I know the job is new and you're worried about it, but people get sick and kids get sick and companies go on. :)

It has been my experience that generally people are a lot more understanding and easier on me than I am on myself.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Well, my advice is try not to borrow trouble. :) I know the job is new and you're worried about it, but people get sick and kids get sick and companies go on. :)

It has been my experience that generally people are a lot more understanding and easier on me than I am on myself.

Thanks for saying this, you are totally right. Two months ago i spent so much energy & time agonizing over kids possibly getting sick before my interview (DH was OOT then) or nanny not being able to come, and it was all fine.. They were well the whole week, nanny came and they were good.

And yes they do seem to be very understanding here. I am sure if next week i needed to take a day off for sick kid it would be ok. I think I just get upset at myself a lot for not being able to do it all. Definitely a balancing act indeed.

[karstmama]

probably not as helpful, but my emergency care is my mother. she lives an hour away & we lived with her until april, so she's very tuned into his routines & would drop just about anything to help me. yeah, i hit the mama jackpot & i'm very thankful.

then it gets spotty. if ds was sick on monday or friday, dbf could watch/sit, but tues-thurs would be a lot harder. my daddy's wife would love to, but she's on the injured list right now. my cousin had agreed to do an odd back-stop couple of hours once that it turned out i didn't need, but she was so willing i'd probably ask her. her kids are all grown.

[crl]

We have never used it, but Dh's company provides a certain number of days at an emergency drop off daycare, and yes, they do take sick kids. Now my oldest would never in a million years have gone for that. He is a super anxious kid and wouldn't have stayed with new people without a lot of trauma and drama under the best of circumstances. Dd is much, much more flexible and I can imagine that if she just had a bit of a fever and a cough or something she would go.

You have to register kids in advance and maybe even take them once on a scheduled day (?) before you can use them as an emergency drop off.

(dh wanted me to get ds registered in case I was so sick I couldn't take care of ds.)

Catherine

ETA. For a while our regular babysitter was a nursing student (she graduated and got a real job, darn the luck ;) ) but a couple of times I contacted her to offer to cancel because one of the kids was sick and she always said she didn't mind at all and would come anyway. So you might also consider developing an extra sitter or two who wouldn't mind taking care of sick kids.

[ellies mom]

There are drop-in daycare centers that take sick kids. The one local to me requires pre-registering but that cost was really reasonable (like $25). I'm not sure what the google terms would be.

Right now, I work nights so if a kid is sick, we just curl up and nap together. Or with any luck, it falls on my husband's days off and it isn't an issue.

[twowhat?]

Well, my advice is try not to borrow trouble. :) I know the job is new and you're worried about it, but people get sick and kids get sick and companies go on. :)

It has been my experience that generally people are a lot more understanding and easier on me than I am on myself.

Yes, this! Use your sick time when you need to - that is why it's there. If you have sick kids and no other option, then you just take the sick time. I think my first year of being back at work I even dipped into vacation time for sick kids - remember that is an option too (yes, it sucks but that first year is all about feeling out your workplace/adjusting/etc).

Once you get a better feel for what work you can do that is flexible, and also your kids won't get sick as much that second year, you will use less of your sick time.

And yes, ITA that at those ages, you simply can't work and care for a child at the same time - they need so much hands-on care when healthy, not to mention sick!. It just doesn't happen. DH and I were up LOTS and LOTS of late nights making up work because even though we had sick days, it doesn't mean deadlines moved! So since your DH is the more flexible one in terms of telecommuting, it'll be more on him to help shoulder this burden for the first year (if he takes a sick day, he can make up the work at night on his computer whereas you can't make up lab work at night unless you drive back to the office...and maybe this is an option?). I was also up lots and lots of late nights making up work for when *I* got sick (which was often that first year - I think I went to the doctor 3 times! Pulled a rib muscle from coughing, and basically got sicker than I'd ever gotten in my life!).

Oh and for conference calls, if I had to be at home with sick kids, I wouldn't use TV at all except for conference call times:) THEN I'd turn the TV on and it would at least give me some amount of time to focus on the call but as soon as the kids lost their attention to the TV, that's when I put the phone on mute - unmute when I need to say something - and hoped for the best. One of my friends (in dire situations!) has resorted to putting baby in crib with toys, crossing her fingers and hoping for the best, and then coming back to a screaming child. Obviously she wouldn't do this if she didn't absolutely have to, but you do what you gotta do. Most people are very understanding if they know you're calling into a telecon with a sick child as background noise:)

We never used a backup sitter and just slogged through on our own but I agree that if I had been comfortable with using a backup sitter, it certainly would've made it easier on us!!

[BabbyO]

5 of my 6 sick days were gone by March of this year. I had used 2 for me when I got a terrible stomach virus. The others were for the kids. I've additionally used 2 personal days and a vacation day. DH has a bit more flexibility and can work while watching the kids (for urgent work matters) then make up the rest of the time in evenings or weekends. Between the two of us we've probably taken 15-20 days this year to care for sick kids.

A lot of people around here have grandparents that can fill in in a pinch.

[Philly Mom]

I think that the first month is the most stressful time because you feel like you can't take time off because you are new and don't want to be that person. During my first month, when DD was sick, DH stayed home as long as he was around or we split the day, each working from home for half the day while the other watched DD. My office liked to know that DH was sharing the burden. Now that I have been doing it for a year, I feel much better about taking the time when I need it. It is still stressful, but much less so. My office is also understanding because I work very hard at all other times and cover for others when they have emergencies. I liked the backup sitter for times when I really had no choice but to be at a meeting. I would not work full days if I had a sitter. Good luck, and try not to let it stress you out before something happens. It gets easier.

[Gena]

Luckily, DS does not get sick often these days. But his first year in daycare he seemed to catch everything. We don't have back-up care, so if DS gets sick, DH or I take a sick day or a PTO (Paid Time Off) day. Sometimes I can get in a few hours working from home, but DS isn't really cooperative about that a lot of times.

[daisysmom]

We have a few people that we could call in a pinch if my DD was sick, neighbors or friends, who I wouldn't worry about calling for an hour or two if there was something I MUST do at work. Our nanny stayed with my DD plenty of times when she was sick with a stomach bug when she was younger, that was just part of the job (and DD watched a lot of TV those days). I do remember feeling guilty that I wasn't at home cleaning the puke up during the days... but honestly I was the one cleaning the puke up all night long so to get to work for part of a day was really essential for me.

My DD would not like having a "stranger" sitter come, so I haven't done the sittercity or care.com option (but the thought has crossed my mind). My DD is also old enough to come to work, and I have an office here so I could have her here with a dvd player which we have done for when we had the hurricane and school was cancelled. I couldn't do that if she was puking, but I would do it for an ear infection and even strep (she wouldn't come in contact with anyopne, and plenty of moms and dad's here do bring their kids to work in that case).

It is hard getting all the details of a "plan" together as a working mom. Perhaps you won't have to deal with sickies this year?

[AnnieW625]

We usually just take the day off. Until DH's aunt retired 2 yrs. ago we didn't have anyone else but ourselves. We would only need to use DH's aunt if there was some non negotiable work thing we could not get out of that day. Thankfully both DH and I have pretty flexible jobs so it has never really been a need for it. In general though I need to get on SitterCity or Care.com and get some sitters lined up as well.

[janine]

I agree with the others, you would have to take the days off and alternate with DH. People will have to understand - I've seen people here take3-4 days b/c of a child's sickness (normally they are in daycare).

The other alternative is Grandma or a relative.

Lastly I'd do the emergency care.com or drop in but really not crazy about that (finding a last minute stranger to watch my sick kids).

WE did have an issue when my mom (who watches my kids) got shingles and was out 1 week. At the time we thought it could even be 2 weeks. We juggled days off and my sister came one day and luckly my mom was only uot of commission the 1 week. But my case is restricted in that most people's back up is my main and my IL's are completely out of the picture...

It'll be fine don't worry!!

[lmh2402]

i only work 2-3 days a week, but we don't use daycare. so we don't have a problem with DC being sick, but alternatively, haev run into issues when my mom (who watches DC one day a week), or our sitter were ill. or the weather was too bad for them to travel

i have always ended up having to take the day(s) off.

[BabyBearsMom]

DH and I just alternate taking days off for sick kids. Its a pain, we haven't had both of us work a full 5 day week in over a month due to sick kids. If we are in a real pinch, one of our mom's will watch the kids but that is rare. I have also taken DD1 in with me to work if I have just a couple of things to deal with that I need to do in person. I work with a lot of grandma types and they will take her for a few minutes while I do meetings and such. Or she will sit and play while I meet with people. I also had my work assign me a laptop so I can work from home a little when the kids are sick. I don't get a full day in, but I can usually do 3 or 4 hours during naps or while DD1 watches a movie.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

thanks for the replies everyone. we don't live near any family, so that's not an option for us. bringing a sick kid to work is out of the question for me..in most engineering companies even adults that are non-employees are not allowed in the buildings (you need to get a badge to get in). it's for security/safety reasons..there is just no way you would want a random person, let alone a child, in there..lots of chemicals, electrical equipment, etc. let alone the fact that i don't have my own office. i do have a laptop though and can do remote login and stuff, so i'm sure that will come in handy and i could do the half day thing with dh, when he's in town.

i agree with pp (was it Phillymom) who said its mostly stressful now bc it's first week of work and i don't want to be that person having to take time off all the time. But they do seme to be very understanding here.

as for a nanny, i thought about it but what made me choose daycare was the relability issue. i iddn't want to have to worry if nanny couldn't make it, or was late, or was sick or decided to quit unexpectedly. Plus i think otherwise the kiddos are really thriving at the daycare...DD just adores her teacher and she is making all thsi artwork and learning new words. DS is learning things too.

i've decided to take a break from swim class (once a week) and just try to focus on transitioning now. last weekend was a little busy and we didnt' have much time for making meals but we will do that this weekend so everuthhing will be ready to go and packed.

[sunnyside]

I use sittercity.com. When my DD is sick, I hire someone to come to my house and babysit. I work while they babysit, but I'm here for my daughter too. I let my work know my daughter is home sick with me. It's very common in the tech world for people to telecommute when their kids are sick, and from what I have seen, most do not get a sitter. I get one, because I'd rather pay $10 per hour to a sitter, and not take a sick day. That way I can save my paid time off for either vacation or when I am sick, not just DD.

[ZeeBaby]

Hope for the best and plan ahead. DD2 has RAD and the winter season is always touch and go around here. I am have been at my job for over 8 years and DH at his for over 5 years and we both have sick time. There are times when we can't take off though because of major projects, deadlines, etc. At those times we ask DSD to watch the sick child, work from home or if it is an extended illness we ask my mom to travel from out of town. Thankfully we usually do not need more then one sick day off per week. There was one week when DD2 was extremely sick and in the ER for 6 hours and drs visits for the following days to make sure she was stable. I had to take two days off and postpone very important work matters, but it was very serious medical illness and she really took priority at that point.

[chottumommy]

as for a nanny, i thought about it but what made me choose daycare was the relability issue. i iddn't want to have to worry if nanny couldn't make it, or was late, or was sick or decided to quit unexpectedly. Plus i think otherwise the kiddos are really thriving at the daycare...DD just adores her teacher and she is making all thsi artwork and learning new words. DS is learning things too.



We have a combination of daycare and nanny. Our nanny is part-time, 3 hours everyday just so I have the peace of mind of not rushing back home. She picks up the kids from daycare and brings them home. She also starts dinner for us which makes it less stressful for me when DH travels or is late (which is atleast 50% of the days). She starts laundry for me and helps pick drycleaning or return library books on her way to picking up the kids.

I love our current arrangement. In case of a pinch, I can ask her to stay a bit later in the evening and she finishes up the kids dinner and bath by the time i get home. It also helps me on sick days since I have that set time to to work (3-8) and meet my dates, attend meetings. I work PST time so most imp meetings are between 3-6:30.

I don't think I could use a sitter from care.com on sick days unless they spend a significant time with the kids on a weekly/monthly basis since the kids would not be comfortable with her when they're sick. DS1 might, DS2 needs a familiar face when he's fussy/sick.

DH and I can never take a full day off, its just not feasible for us. I also take every precaution to make sure the kids don't get sick/ recover faster etc - elderberry syrup, cough tea, humidifier, neti (DS1 does it everyday), saline gargle, lots of ginger in the food. It helped immensely last year and hoping the same this year.

[mackmama]

I've often wondered if there are sitters who take care of sick kids, too. Good info!

[sunnyside]

Adding that I don't think I could use a sitter I'd never met if I wasn't here when my DD was sick. But in my area, sittercity is full of out of work teachers and other fantastic people and I've had great luck having someone there as an extra hand when she is sick and I work from home.

[Zansu]

We have a nanny service is that primarily for sick child care or emergency back-up care. It's subsidized through many of the larger employers in town, but I don't think the unsubsidized rates are too bad.

You register in advance, and then call when you need someone. All of the nannies are screened, and know going in that they will be dealing with sick kids.

[PZMommy]

We have no one available to babysit if the boys are sick. EithervDH or I have to take off. We are both teachers, so we can't work from home.