Weird to have no spouses at holiday party?

[elektra]

All the work holiday parties I have ever been to have the spouses invited.

A few years ago, DH's company switched things to just the employees, but it was at lunch or from 4-6, like a sort of happy hour. I thought it was a little weird but no biggie, especially the lunch one during work hours.

Well this year (tonight) they are doing a full evening cocktail party, but without the spouses.
I subscribe to their FB feed and this is what it says:
With xxx's annual holiday party happening tonight, we thought we’d share this little ditty penned by our events team. Ahem…

Twelve dry martinis
Eleven Facebook photos
Ten tweeters tweeting
Nine ladies dancing
Eight karaoke acts
Seven yummy sliders
Six thirty start time
Five golden drinks
Four sushi rolls
Three party dresses
Two taxi rides and
A wild party for our agency

Maybe it's because DH and I met at work and I know tons of people who have had office hookups (myself included obviously) especially when alcohol is involved, but it just seems weird to me.
And DH works in a job/industry where there are several events with alcohol where spouses would not be invited but it's more like client-type stuff or industry events, not your work holiday party. Those do not bother me. I used to attend more of these and it's par for the course.

[redhookmom]

I would be thankful. I guess the grass is always greener.

[BabbyO]

Our company always has events during the day...or it is a quick happy hour late afternoon/early evening thing. A full on event like a cocktail party without spouses or clients would be weird to me.

That said...from the company's perspective it is cheaper...and perhaps they are thinking that it eliminates awkwardness for spouses like my DH who rarely has anything in common with my co-workers??

[g-mama]

I don't like it, but my dh's law firm has gone in the same direction.

It used to be the entire family was invited, they had a cocktail party for the adults and a kiddie party on the side with a Santa Claus who gave out gifts to the children, a kiddie buffet and craft stations.

Then it went to couples only cocktail party.

Now it's just the employees and yes, it's in the evening on a Friday night.

[lcarlson90]

I wouldn't like it but it's not uncommon especially with tighter budgets. Even 10 years ago when I worked for Fox Studios spouses were never invited to the holiday party.

[bisous]

DH's office went from a whole family event to just employees last year. I guess you could call it budget cuts but since DHs company is still wildly profitable, I think they're just taking advantage of the trends. :(

DH was bummed because he always wants to do stuff with us, no matter how much he likes his coworkers. He went to the event and left as soon as he could.

[StantonHyde]

My work always does just employees

[123LuckyMom]

I would not like this, and I know my DH wouldn't either. I don't worry that he's going to cheat on me, but we just don't do this kind of thing apart. We don't put ourselves in positions that might even suggest impropriety. It's just easier that way. That issue aside, a party is a party. It's not fair if he gets to go to one while I'm stuck at home taking care of the kids without him. I know if DH's company did this, he'd make an appearance, not drink, and leave within the hour.

[edurnemk]

It's not uncommon in our neck of the woods (no spouses, evening event). In fact DH's firm, which does a party with spouses AND kids is the exception. They do it because it's a small office. Large companies usually don't invite spouses (or just the top managers' spouses) because of space and budget constraints.

But I totally get the office hookup thing, I've witnessed it many times. But it's usually a specific kind of guy that gets involved in that (in the case in which the guy is married)

[AnnieW625]

I think it is pretty common especially when the company is paying for it. We used to have a holiday party at my work but we paid about $50 to go. The company donated some funds for it but for the most part it was privately funded. We have our division's holiday event next Wednesday during the day and spouses aren't invited.

[TwinFoxes]

I've never heard of an evening employees only holidays party. But I guess they're not rare, seeing as ow many BBBers have heard of them. I'd be bummed, I like cocktail parties. DH would be bummed because he'd hate to to alone. :)

[arivecchi]

Our holiday "party" (in quotes because it's not much of a party) has always been employees only here. It's always during the workday though.

[infomama]

I think it's strange.

[mackmama]

That is strange with the party being at night. DH's office has party during the day so it makes sense that no spouses will be there.

[codex57]

My work's official holiday party is no spouses, but it is during the work week. I have an informal one coming up Sat where spouses are invited with a full bar, but DW does NOT want to go (we've got kids so it's a pain to find a babysitter). She wishes spouses weren't expected to go.

I agree that the grass is always greener.

I also think it'll be more common to not have spouses included unless the economy really starts picking up. It's an easy money saver that's kinda hard to complain about.

[AnnieW625]

I've never heard of an evening employees only holidays party. But I guess they're not rare, seeing as ow many BBBers have heard of them. I'd be bummed, I like cocktail parties. DH would be bummed because he'd hate to to alone. :)

I think I might be bummed to as would DH as we would both like to attend an event like that.

Also everytime I hear evening work holiday cocktail party I think of Die Hard.

[g-mama]

I'd be bummed, I like cocktail parties. DH would be bummed because he'd hate to to alone. :)

Yeah, it's a bummer to me, too. I like cocktail parties and the chance to get dressed up, have a drink with grownups sans kids, and dh doesn't like going to things like that without me. He spends every day with those people and it's a lot more fun if the spouses are there to change things up a bit.

[wellyes]

My company always had LAVISH, open bar, evening parties for employees only. With spouses would be nicer, but hey, at least I don't have to pay for a sitter. I actually enjoy relaxing and hanging out with work friends while we're all dolled up.

The company has really good spouse / same sex partner benefits otherwise.

[kijip]

It's weird to me. I think that if you are expected to go to a party for work outside of work hours, being able to bring a spouse is what makes it "not work". If it is during the day or even a happy hour thing, that seems reasonable for an employee only thing.

That said, we leave my husband's holiday party pretty quickly. If I am dressed up out of the house with my smartly dressed husband and the kids are with a sitter who is not expecting us back till midnight we have better things to do than eat stuffed mushrooms and chat with people we don't like well enough to see outside of his work except once a year.

[wellyes]

I think that if you are expected to go to a party for work outside of work hours, being able to bring a spouse is what makes it "not work".I don't know about "expected to go", our parties were always hundreds of people. Very optional. Come and enjoy the booze / food / entertainment or don't.

Maybe that's the difference? If it was a smaller group it'd be weirder to be no spouses.

[Pear]

Ours is just employees, but it is just 90 minutes during work hours. An evening party without spouses is odd.

[SkyrMommy]

I agree with some PPs, it's the time of day that makes a work party seem odd without spouses. If it was during the work day like a luncheon or happy hour, that I can see not including a spouse, but an evening event just seems different to me.

[Pennylane]

I would expect a party after office hours to include spouses. Although I wouldn't be disappointed to miss my DH's :)

Ann

[elektra]

Well, I am actually kind of glad I don't have to go. :) But I do think it's weird still. I mean the little poem about martinis, taxi rides and a wild party--- sounds like something you would bring a date to. And really, DH would rather be home too- he is not big on parties usually.

And like I said, I have no issues with the company wanting to save money or having it workers only when it's more low key.

[gatorsmom]

I think it is odd and always have though I know of companies that do this. When DH and I were dating the company he worked at purposely had huge, out of control parties where the supervisors challenged their salespeople to do shots and get wasted. Spouses were never invited. There were always rumors flying afterwards of who cheated with whom as they always had the parties at hotels. It was a very uncomfortable environment for DH and he quit not long after we got married. I'd say the name of the company but it is a huge company that manufactures and sells surgical equipment and I know many of you would recognize the name. I still don't understand how encouraging debauchery like that was good for their company.

[brgnmom]

the wording of the invitation does sound a bit odd, considering that spouses are not invited. we're having a couple's only dinner (no kids) this year. Last year, we were able to bring our DC.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I agree with some PPs, it's the time of day that makes a work party seem odd without spouses. If it was during the work day like a luncheon or happy hour, that I can see not including a spouse, but an evening event just seems different to me.

:yeahthat:

i think it's pretty strange to not include spouses if it's in the evening. I can see not allowing kids and having it be adults only, but not allowing spouses, during non-work hours, for a cocktail party is just weird, and quite off-putting, IMO.

[niccig]

Not anymore.

DH's work used to have big bash with spouses. Then with economy of last few years they moved it to employees only and it's at the office. I don't mind, means we can save the babysitter for a night for just the 2 of us.

[mommylamb]

The places I've worked have either done a nice employees only lunch, or spouses welcome after work party. But, I guess that's not the norm.

[Jen841]

1/2 the budget!

For DH I was thankful, some spouses got out of control and it was uncomfortable. Just the employees 'should' behave better.

DH's company did do a dinner and you could pay for your spouse to attend - it was tacky but in today's times I would rather the company perform well then have me to a dinner which is impossible for me to get to with two kids and working f-t in another direction.

[dcmom2b3]

It's not weird to me. My former firm had hundreds of employees -- inviting everyone as a +1 would have been unworkable even in a flush economy. But it wasn't strictly a cocktail party. It started during business hours with a huge spread of food, followed by dancing and hijinks till the wee hours for those who hung in there, generally the young unmarried crew. Not me, of course. :bag

[okinawama]

I would think it was odd if employees were paying and spouces weren't invited, but since the company sounds like its footing the bill, I don't think it's odd at all. We just got back from DH work party and we paid $40.00 per ticket.It seems more and more common that, if its more than than the employee invited, there is a price attached.

[essnce629]

I think it's a little weird, especially the poem part (!) and since it's in the evening. DBF's firm Christmas party is tomorrow night (cocktails at 7pm, dinner at 8pm) and I am going. We have a babysitter and I have my Rent The Runway dress!

[blisstwins]

I think it's a little weird, especially the poem part (!)

:yeahthat:

I would never pay to attend a work party--insane.
I get not inviting spouses, but that poem is totally inappropriate and I would have the same reaction is OP.

[roseyloxs]

I think its weird that its not during work hours. I would be annoyed because when my husband isn't working I would rather he be home or at the very least with me or the kids.

[hellokitty]

I think it's weird. Dh's work went from having a holiday party to having it only be employees, no spouses (off hours, btw at an outside venue) to keep the cost down. Basically when they switched to that, barely anyone went to the party, since ppl would prefer to go with their spouse. The higher up in charge of the party got PO'd and cancelled it all together saying that the employees were being ungrateful. Now they basically don't anything but maybe $8 worth of cookies as their xmas gift, yay, whoop, whoop, what a slap in the face. It has pretty much soured the employees at DH's work. Personally, I think that if the employer wants to keep morale up at work, while inviting spouses/SO would cost more, it is worth it. Morale at DH's work has been rotten for the past few yrs and it does not help that the higher up is a douche bag to begin with, b/c there is basically zero appreciation from higher up and now there are rumors that since they may be bought out, that they won't have jobs anymore. Ppl are getting antsy and want to jump ship, including us.