Just need to get this out

[KrystalS]

I found out yesterday that my 14yo little sister is pregnant (Call her C). I'm so devastated about this. I have known for about a year that she was having sex. I've talked to her repeatedly about being safe and offered to get her birth control. I told my mom she needed to be on birth control. No one listened to me. It's so frustrating because she's just a kid. My mom had me at 15, and another sister got pregnant at 17! My mom doesn't know yet, and C doesn't know that I know. My other sister told me because she doesn't know what to do.

They have all been going through a lot the last couple of years. C started hanging out with the wrong crowd and I could just see her spiraling down. When she got serious with her boyfriend I told my mom she needed to talk to her. I talked to her, I offered to take her to the dr for BC and not tell my mom. They always come to me with their problems because my mom is hard to talk to, and I'm really the only one who stands up to her. We are leaving today to go there for Christmas. I can only imagine how uncomfortable the next week is going to be!

[mommylamb]

Oh no! That is so young. She is lucky to have a big sister like you who is looking out for her. But you can't control it all. I hope that she will be ok.

[crl]

:hug:

Catherine

[wellyes]

Wow, I'm sorry about your tough week ahead. She is so young, she should be having a much more carefree holiday. Good luck to her, and you.

[queenmama]

I'm so, so sorry. My mom, sister, and niece went through the same cycle, though my niece made it longer than the others... I was only 13 when DN was born so I feel like she is my baby, truly, and when she got pregnant it broke my heart (and she was 20, not 14!! 14!! That is soo young!). She's a good mama, it just makes me sad that her life will never be what it could've been.

Your baby sister needs you now more than ever. Can you imagine how scared she must be? Being pregnant the first time, having a baby... It's so fraught at times even under the best circumstances. It must be terrifying when you're so ill-equipped and emotionally immature. Just be there for her and support her. I very much understand the desire to come unglued and rant and say, "I knew this would happen" but condemnation won't help anything, and you don't want to alienate her.

Ugh. It's a crappy situation. Good luck to all.

Lara

[KrystalS]

I'm so, so sorry. My mom, sister, and niece went through the same cycle, though my niece made it longer than the others... I was only 13 when DN was born so I feel like she is my baby, truly, and when she got pregnant it broke my heart (and she was 20, not 14!! 14!! That is soo young!). She's a good mama, it just makes me sad that her life will never be what it could've been.

Your baby sister needs you now more than ever. Can you imagine how scared she must be? Being pregnant the first time, having a baby... It's so fraught at times even under the best circumstances. It must be terrifying when you're so ill-equipped and emotionally immature. Just be there for her and support her. I very much understand the desire to come unglued and rant and say, "I knew this would happen" but condemnation won't help anything, and you don't want to alienate her.

Ugh. It's a crappy situation. Good luck to all.

Lara

Thank you this was helpful. I'm relieved that I found out before I see her so I can deal with the anger first and just be there for her. I was 15 when C & her twin sister were born so I feel like their mom more than their sister.

[misshollygolightly]

I'm so, so sorry, Krystal. Sending :hug: and prayers for you and your baby sister. 14 is incredibly young, and I can only imagine how frustrated and sad you must feel (not to mention how terrified she must be feeling). I agree with others--it will be good to work through some of your anger and disappointment now so that you can be ready to support her when you see her. Praying for her health, and thankful she has such a loving, caring sister!

[Hippoharbor]

I praise you for being there for your family. I hope the rest of your family is going to be supportive of her, as well.

[ourbabygirl]

Hugs and kudos to you for being such a thoughtful big sister! PTs to everyone involved; I hope that after the shock wears off for your mom, all of you can sit down together with your sister and make a plan. :hug:

[Fairy]

I am very sorry. God, 14. I was 14 going on 11 when Iwas 14. And you say you've known for a year she was sexually active, so that means she was having sex at 13. I can't relate to that, but I'm very sad for her having to grow up fast now. You're being very strong, but it sounds like you've always been the level head. Whatever direction she goes, its going to be a hard road, and she's very lucky to have such a caring sister in her life to help her.

[maestramommy]

:hug:WOW. What a burden for her. For you! :hug:

[georgiegirl]

Many hugs. She's just a baby herself. She is lucky to have you as her sister though.

[larig]

Sending you thoughts of strength and wisdom to help her through this.

[sidmand]

:hug:

I hope you and your family are able to deal with this in the best way possible for everyone.

Take care.

[123LuckyMom]

I couldn't read your post and not say anything. I'm sending lots of prayers your and your sister's way. I cannot even imagine being that young and having my life change so dramatically. Your sister is lucky to have you!

[hillview]

sending you, your sister and family PT!

[elektra]

Sorry to hear that. Hopefully you can be a support for her right now. So tough.

[Pear]

I hope can help her find the best path for herself in the coming weeks. It sounds like she really needs someone who can be there for her and support her in making the decisions that she is now faced with.

[KrystalS]

Thank you all for the support and encouragement. I can't share this with anyone IRL yet and I really needed to get it off my chest.

[MamaMolly]

Oh man. 14! That is so young. Poor kid, both her and the baby. P&PT for y'all.

[kijip]

I am so sorry she has grown up so fast and has such a grown up situation on her shoulders. I pray that you and your whole family find the strength to get through whatever lies ahead.

[Ceepa]

I hope she welcomes your support and realizes she's not alone with this. Sending strength to you for your visit.

[essnce629]

Wow, 14 is sooo young. So sad that she has to deal with something so adult at such a young age. I am glad you are there to support her during such a hard time and I hope she is able to make the decision that is best for her and the baby.

[TwinFoxes]

Oh no! That is so young. She is lucky to have a big sister like you who is looking out for her. But you can't control it all. I hope that she will be ok.

:yeahthat:

[brittone2]

Wow, 14 is sooo young. So sad that she has to deal with something so adult at such a young age. I am glad you are there to support her during such a hard time and I hope she is able to make the decision that is best for her and the baby.
:yeahthat:

[lcarlson90]

I can't even imagine how scared your sister must be. I am glad she has you in her life because I imagine she is going to need a lot of support through this.