I've hit a wall.

[anonomom]

I just need to scream this out here, because I am so tired that people keep asking me if I'm ok everywhere I go.

No, I'm not ok. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in a row since 2011. DS is 16 months and I feel like he should be getting less interested in nursing, but he was up and sucking on me all.night.long, and has been nursing for two out of the three hours we've been awake today. Even worse, for the last month I've had difficulty falling asleep and then getting back to sleep once he wakes me up. I figure I'm down to a total of 3-4 non-consecutive hours of sleep a night.

I know I need to wean him or at least kick him out of bed, but I can't bring myself to right now. If past history is any guide (since we went through this with DD2), he won't take kindly to being in his crib and I'll get even less sleep then I get now. At least now, when he wakes up I can stay in bed instead of stumbling to his room 4-5 times a night.

I know it'll get better in a few months, but right now it's hard to keep that in mind.

[sarahsthreads]

Oh no! Hang in there. That sounds so, so hard. I have no advice, but just wanted to offer a virtual hug. :hug:

Sarah

[jent]

Sending hugs to you! Sleep deprivation is the worst. Hang in there, it will get better eventually.

[hellokitty]

:hug: This is hard. I understand how hard it is when they nurse all night. It does sound like it's time to night wean. I had a friend who went through something very similar and I gently encouraged her to night wean. Her DH had a break in btwn his old and new job, and she took the opportunity to night wean her son at that point (I think that having your dh help during that part is really important) and she said it was a lifesaver. She felt that she just could not go on anymore, b/c she was getting hardly any sleep. I hope that if you do decide to night wean, that your dh is supportive in helping you. It is tough, since the toddler won't like it, but the important part about nursing is that it is something that mother and child should agree to, not just a one way relationship. So, if you are having issues, making adjustments to make it work for you is not unreasonable.

[infocrazy]

DS1 was a little younger ~13 months and was still night nursing every 2 hrs. I had to take a business trip and prepared DH for a crazy night. DS1 woke up, DH patted him down, the next time he woke up, DH warmed a bottle and DS1 drank ONE oz before falling back to sleep. DH patted him down the next time. I couldn't believe it when I got home and started night weaning the next day. It took 2 nights. Which I was happy about of course, but I couldn't believe it was so easy. I was also surprised that morning away how little I pumped overnight while I was gone. He started sleeping through very shortly after.

I feel your pain now though. DS4 is driving me crazy. C-R-A-Z-Y. He has a bit of a cold but waking up every 1.5 hrs is not cool...and I am tired.

[sunnyside]

DS1 was a little younger ~13 months and was still night nursing every 2 hrs. I had to take a business trip and prepared DH for a crazy night. DS1 woke up, DH patted him down, the next time he woke up, DH warmed a bottle and DS1 drank ONE oz before falling back to sleep. DH patted him down the next time. I couldn't believe it when I got home and started night weaning the next day. It took 2 nights. Which I was happy about of course, but I couldn't believe it was so easy. I was also surprised that morning away how little I pumped overnight while I was gone. He started sleeping through very shortly after.

I feel your pain now though. DS4 is driving me crazy. C-R-A-Z-Y. He has a bit of a cold but waking up every 1.5 hrs is not cool...and I am tired.

Hugs OP. I had similar issues with my daughter. I had someone do like the PPs DH and night weaned that way. It really only took a night or two. I'm a single mom and my DD cosleeps with me, and is 2.5 now and still nursing, but not at night (thankfully). One other thing that helped me is I talked to my DD about there not being milk at night anymore and about the light in the window. Basically saying when it's dark outside and there's no light in the window the milk is asleep. Night weaning can be so hard. She regressed when we moved and I had no one to help and had to night wean again. I let my DD nurse if she cried hard for more than a few minutes, because she could get hysterical and make my plan backfire, but a few days of talking with her about it and reminding her at night, she was mostly fine. We still had issues from time to time, and I took a "give and take" approach so that I was gentle, but moving the right direction... I was another who was so surprised that my friend was able to get her to sleep so easily. They literally just patted her back and she went back to sleep because there was no milk there. Good luck, I know firsthand how the sleep deprivation can destroy your life.

[roseyloxs]

:hug: DD was a big eater at night too. I agree with the PPs about enlisting DH in night weaning. I would sleep in a guest bedroom if you have one and let DH sleep with your DC with just one bottle of BM (if he takes a bottle). Tell DH to not even attempt the bottle until 2am and if DC is doing okay to avoid using it altogether. Even if DH fails at weaning DC at least you should end up getting a good nights rest for once.

Again I need to send more hugs, endless night feedings are so frustrating. :hug:

[123LuckyMom]

I'm so sorry! I've been in the same boat with my DD, but she's only 9 months. Things are better now. We started Ferberizing, and after three days, she was sleeping 3-8 hour stretches, which was a huge improvement over waking every 30-45 minutes. She also cried very little. I was shocked! On one bad night, she cried on and off for ten minutes, but that was the longest. I was full of hope, but then she started crying longer and harder. I think it's because I wasn't increasing the time before the first check. We decided to stop, and since then I've been nursing and shhhhing her to sleep. Fortunately, the 3 hr stretches of sleep have stuck!!! The first step is just refusing to nurse as much at night-- but you know that. Hugs to you!!! Sleep deprivation sucks!

[sste]

You cannot go on like this! Parents need sleep like anyone else! I had something similar happen with DD at that age and what we did was switch to a very strict routine. I would wake her up to nurse at 1030 then go to bed myself. For a while I allowed *one* additional wake-up to nurse and then nothing more until wake up at 7am. But you could just go to wake-up at 7am. The key is your DH. The DH or dear partner or whomever must be the one to go to the baby and soothe for a few minutes and put back down, ideally without milk of any kind or at least moving toward that. Baby wants mom and you showing up reinforces that. My DH did this every single wake-up for a few days and the problem was solved in a week or so. There have been a few threads on this issue in the feeding section, mine included I think.

Hang in there. These babies are crafty!

[DrSally]

I've been exactly where you are. DS nursed at night, but only once per night at that age, until he was a year old. DD, however, nursed every 2-3 hours until 16 months old. I wanted to make sure I was being responsive to her needs, and also was afraid of waking Ds up. I had totally hit a wall with fatigue. I finally talked to her and told her I would not be coming in at night to nurse her. She had one night of whining ( not even all out crying) for me, and that was it. Best thing
I ever did for myself. I felt so much healthier once
I was sleeping 10pm-5am. In reality, she was just used to soothing at the breast when she'd have natural night wakings ( never took a paci). I thin k she could've SSTN at 9 or so months comfortably, honestly.

[jgenie]

Big hugs to you. :hug: I've been where you are and vividly remember that feeling of desperation. Hang in there. I posted a very similar post when I reached the end of my rope but can't seem to find it now. It will get better.

[MamaMolly]

Oh mama! I've been there. Huge hugs to you.

With Dolly I just hit the wall. I couldn't go on any longer. Remember, the nursing relationship goes both ways. It is supposed to be ok with the baby AND the mama. It is ok to stop if you are ready.

One night I told Dolly that it was the last time she was going to have 'nursies' in bed. I took her hand and kept patting my boob and saying bye-bye in a sing-song way while she nursed. I think she 'got' it because she nursed FOREVER that night. Then when she woke up I'd cuddle her but not nurse. I'd remind her we were all done with nursies.

It took a few days, and she cried some, but I was there to comfort her through it. FWIW she never slept in her crib. When she was 18 months old she had her own bed and we co-slept. Put the mattress on the floor and they can't fall off!

It was a sloooooow process, but we are finally at a place where she sleeps alone in her own bed. And I SLEEP in mine. Good luck!!!!