Sleep support thread?

[mctlaw]

Seems there are several of us with babes in the same age group who are crappy sleepers! Anyone want to join in on a support/techniques type thread? I just posted what I am working on, on Shannon's thread. It seems to be working but I'm only on day 5. I've tried several different things.

[Melaine]

I'm in. DS is 8 months old and between traveling and the flu has not slept in his crib in over 2 weeks. He is an awful sleeper and often wakes up for a couple hours in the middle of the night. We've got to do something drastic.

[mommylamb]

Count me in too. Though DS2 at nearly 11 months is getting better. In the last month he has been regularly sleeping through the night until at least 4:30 (I consider that good now). He had been much worse for a long time. Our big problem now is that he totally refuses to nap at home. He does do it at daycare, but unless he is in the car or sleeping in our bed with one of us napping too, he never does daytime sleep at home. DS1 was never like this since he was about 4-5 months old he slept through the night and had a totally regular nap schedule. To this day, I can count on my fingers how many times he has woken up in the middle of the night. He's so easy. DS2 is so different.

[urbanmommy]

I'm in. Dd2 is 9 mo and was sleeping through the night or waking up 1 time to nurse until November. At the end of October she got a bad cold and has been sick on and off since then. She was waking up a lot at night from coughing and the night wakings seem to have become habit. Now she's progressed to waking 3-4 times and I'm starting a new job on Monday. I'm kind of scared to try anything new right now (we're co-sleeping with her in a pack n play next to my bed). But I'd like to know what others are trying for when I am ready to move her to her room/crib.

Sent from my HTC_Amaze_4G using Tapatalk 2

[pinay]

DD2 is a little younger (just turned 4 months), but the infamous 4 month sleep regression has arrived and it looks like she's also about to outgrow the miracle blanket :(. I go back to work on Tuesday so the timing is awful for sleep issues to be starting. She's currently sleeping in a rock n play next to our bed but that probably won't last much longer so I'm dreading all the transitions we will need to make in the upcoming weeks/months, it will be nice to get some ideas from others and know we aren't alone in the sleep deprivation!

[sntm]

We had a better night last night. Sad when a better night means running up to nurse back to sleep every hour until I went to bed and then every 2-3 hrs after!!! But, he was in bed by 6:30 and stayed in bed until 6:30, so I'm okay with that!

For us, think it is a combo of teething, learning to crawl, trying to learn to walk, 3 to 2 nap transition, a number of late work nights causing later bedtimes, and who knows?

[123LuckyMom]

I'm in. DD is 9 months and hasn't slept more than a two hour stretch except once since she turned 4 months. Most nights she's up every 45 minutes. She'll sleep happily on lap or shoulder if I'm sitting up, but as soon as I try to lie down with her in my bed or put her down in her own bed, she's up. It's AWFUL!!! :(

[queenmama]

DD is 8mo and not too bad... Well, she does still nurse every 3 or 4 hours (usually ends up being twice during the night), so that's kind of annoying. But she sleeps with me so I'm not really at a place where I can stop it. She knows it's available and it's so very handy! She never fully wakes, so I guess that's good.

Last night, though... Omg. She woke up every hour! Not completely wide awake, but full-on crying, and nothing would soothe her except nursing... I tried rocking her, singing... I wonder if her throat wasn't hurting since she got up this morning and was sort of scratching at it with her hand. She was fine today, no fussiness at all, so IDK...

Lara

[Melaine]

So I really don't know what to do. We just don't have room in our bed to continue to co-sleep. We were putting him in his crib for the first stint and then I was putting him in the bed after. Well now the "first stint" has gotten shorter and shorter and now he is in the crib for like an hour. Then he is just taking up way too much space and he is a kicker. This is NOT working for us anymore.

[mctlaw]

Our last night kind of sucked too, after a couple relatively good nights, it was a bummer. On the plus side, while I sit with him as he goes to sleep, he is crying just here and there and either playing or dozing the rest of the time (but waking up and doing it again). This goes on for an hour and a half though! My DH resumes work travel next week and then I won't be able to invest this kind of time into bedtime. So I sure hope it gets better in the next few days.

123luckymom,any chance your LO has reflux, with the refusal to sleep flat?

Melanie-you need a break! Seriously, I don't know how you do it with the Mspi stuff you also have to deal with! I think cosleeping, needs to work for both parties-and no longer is for you. Are you considering any type of sleep training?

[Melaine]

Melanie-you need a break! Seriously, I don't know how you do it with the Mspi stuff you also have to deal with! I think cosleeping, needs to work for both parties-and no longer is for you. Are you considering any type of sleep training?

Yes I am ready to do it...I am just not sure exactly what to do. Plus it's going to be a huge pain because the crib has to stay in our room for awhile. I need help...I think I got rid of my sleep books during the ruthless purge of 2012.

[mctlaw]

We have the crib in our room too until we buy a house and move so I get it!
I have Ferber, weissbluth, and baby whisperer on my kindle so let me know if you want any of those plans recapped; I'd be happy to do so for you :)

[Melaine]

We have the crib in our room too until we buy a house and move so I get it!
I have Ferber, weissbluth, and baby whisperer on my kindle so let me know if you want any of those plans recapped; I'd be happy to do so for you :)

thanks so much I might take you up on that.

[123LuckyMom]

I doubt DD has reflux. She never cries (except at night) or spits up, and she's fine lying flat on the boppy. DS had reflux, and you could really tell he was in pain. I'll bring it up with the ped, though. Her 9 mo. appointment is tomorrow. I'm going to clear her health and then plan to sleep train. We had really good success for the first four nights last time, and I know I probably screwed myself by not increasing the intervals by night. I'm going to try again! Not only do I want to sleep and want DD to sleep (she has little bags under her eyes :() I want my marriage back!!! My husband has been sleeping downstairs for months. I miss him!

[mctlaw]

123 luckymom, please update on your sleep training, if you can!

2 night ago, d's had an awful night which I chalked up to top teeth about to come through. But last night he slept from 11:30 to 5:15!!! First ever sleep through the night!!!i so hope this is part of a new pattern and not a fluke. I did nurse him to sleep since his teeth were getting to him all day and previous night. I guess I should go back to sleep training so I don't ruin my previous efforts.

[lmh2402]

can i join?

DD is six months next week. we're not ready to train yet, but i've got my books and i read them and fantasize of life when sleep returns

one question i have in reading the ferber book - he suggests that you don't have to necessarily cut out all the nighttime feedings. you could say that you're not going to feed before a certain time each night.

so what happens if your DC wakes up and then fusses up until the time you've circled for being willing to feed?

for example, say you are willing to feed at midnight, but not before. what if they wake at 11pm and then you do the whole in and out thing and they fuss the whole time and then midnight rolls around. do you then feed them? isn't that then "teaching them" to cry for an hour and then they'll get fed? it's confusing.

[mctlaw]

Yes please join us! I am pretty sure you need to feed. Though I don't know if Ferber addresses this. I think this exact question is addressed by baby whisperer (one of my arsenal). I can't remember the rationale but ill look for it later for you. I know I've done it.

[lmh2402]

Yes please join us! I am pretty sure you need to feed. Though I don't know if Ferber addresses this. I think this exact question is addressed by baby whisperer (one of my arsenal). I can't remember the rationale but ill look for it later for you. I know I've done it.

thanks!! i would really appreciate that :)

[Hemlock]

I'm sooo in for this.

I like to call my almost 8 month old son "the worst sleeper in the world". I have seriously considered "unfriending" some of my Facebook friends who talk about how great their babies sleep. :)

[Melaine]

Ok, I need someone to give me a Ferber run down. It's go time, we kicked our "tenant" to the curb and tonight we are moving his crib. I am all in, I just don't know what exactly to do. Please help!!!

[mctlaw]

Ok, I need someone to give me a Ferber run down. It's go time, we kicked our "tenant" to the curb and tonight we are moving his crib. I am all in, I just don't know what exactly to do. Please help!!!

Here is the basic Ferber plan: The times he gives are examples, btw. He says you can alter them as you see fit.
You can do this for naps and night or just start with night, Ferber says day and night sleep are different and admits the training is harder to implement at nap time, because kiddos go in and out of sleep windows. So he suggests to consider doing nights first and then days once nights are down. I'm not exactly doing Ferber (though I did do it strictly for 5 days), but I am not training at naptime, for now, though they seem to be somewhat improving anyway.

Do your bedtime routine and lay down baby awake. Leave. The following are suggested intervals to go in and check on baby. Your goal is to give baby confidence you will return and check on him, but not necessarily to stop him from crying. Stay in with him for 1-2 minutes max and try not to pick up.
Day 1: 3,5, 10 (all subsequent)
Day 2: 5, 10, 12
Day 3: 10, 12, 15.
You get the picture.
If you sense by the cries baby is starting to settle, do not go in. If baby quiets and then starts back up, start the clock over.

Ferber also admits this won't necessarily have an impact on night wakings (which are our big problem). If they are trained night feeders, he suggests you make a choice: Focus on extinguishing night feedings, or focus on making baby go to sleep on own. Once you have one down move onto the other. If you want to focus on extinguishing night feedings, you can either not feed and comfort however you need to back to sleep, or feed less every day and graduate it that way.

If you have any questions I'll try to look them up for you. Keep us posted!!:thumbsup:

[lmh2402]

anyone still swaddling? we have got to get out of this swaddle

DD is still being swaddled for all naps and night. every time i try to take one arm out, we go days with even more awful naps than usual

i had first tried around thanksgiving - one arm out during first nap only. the theory was i would do the first nap only for a few days until she was napping soundly. and then i would do first and second nap, and so on until she was doing all sleeping with only one arm swaddled.

then i'd move to the two arms out for first nap, etc, etc

except it has backfired terribly.

one arm out = 15 min nap. for like a week straight

so then i thought maybe she wasn't ready. went back to full swaddle.

now trying again since christmas.

still failing miserably

at this point, i'm considering just going cold turkey

we have got to get out of the swaddle

and out of the rnp.

i just want her to be able to go to sleep. and be able to move and adjust to get comfortable.

has anyone just stopped swaddling cold turkey? is it awful... how long was it awful for?

[sntm]

Why stop swaddling? We have weaned from RnP because I'm afraid he'll pull himself out, but have no worries in swaddling. We only use a blanket and he's good at Houdini-ing out anyway but it helps him settle and know its sleep time. Just now, he didn't like it (was overtired and just had to roll around next to me until tired enough to nurse) so I just laid the blanket across him on his cheek and it reminded him of sleep.

SIL knows Karp through work and swaddled until a year, and still does sleep sacks

[Melaine]

Here is the basic Ferber plan: The times he gives are examples, btw. He says you can alter them as you see fit.
You can do this for naps and night or just start with night, Ferber says day and night sleep are different and admits the training is harder to implement at nap time, because kiddos go in and out of sleep windows. So he suggests to consider doing nights first and then days once nights are down. I'm not exactly doing Ferber (though I did do it strictly for 5 days), but I am not training at naptime, for now, though they seem to be somewhat improving anyway.

Do your bedtime routine and lay down baby awake. Leave. The following are suggested intervals to go in and check on baby. Your goal is to give baby confidence you will return and check on him, but not necessarily to stop him from crying. Stay in with him for 1-2 minutes max and try not to pick up.
Day 1: 3,5, 10 (all subsequent)
Day 2: 5, 10, 12
Day 3: 10, 12, 15.
You get the picture.
If you sense by the cries baby is starting to settle, do not go in. If baby quiets and then starts back up, start the clock over.

Ferber also admits this won't necessarily have an impact on night wakings (which are our big problem). If they are trained night feeders, he suggests you make a choice: Focus on extinguishing night feedings, or focus on making baby go to sleep on own. Once you have one down move onto the other. If you want to focus on extinguishing night feedings, you can either not feed and comfort however you need to back to sleep, or feed less every day and graduate it that way.

If you have any questions I'll try to look them up for you. Keep us posted!!:thumbsup:

Thank you! Soon after you posted I got a call that the book was available from the library so I picked it up and read about 1/3 of the way through. So last night I just figured I wouldn't do anything drastic unless he tried the "awake for hours" thing he sometimes does. He slept the first 2.5 hours in the crib, then I tried to settle him back down and he wouldn't so I just put him in the bed with me. I figured it makes me more sense to actually read the book before I start the yelling process.

But, yeah, he usually goes down fine. It's the wakings that are the problem for us. And he doesn't even necessarily want to eat during those wakings. he just can't seem to settle back down. I don't mine feeding him at night but he is just not able to sleep on his own at all.

Oh and he woke up before 5? Not sure what is going on with that.

[123LuckyMom]

Okay, I wanted to start with Ferber again last night, but I wanted DH's help, and he was not on board. It looks like its time to pretend to be a single parent again :(. Anyway, I'm chiming in to say that when I did those four days with DD, the night wakings immediately diminished. She went from every 45 min. waking to multiple hour stretches. Mostly, that has stuck. She will often sleep for two hours at a time now, sometimes longer.

[lmh2402]

Why stop swaddling? We have weaned from RnP because I'm afraid he'll pull himself out, but have no worries in swaddling. We only use a blanket and he's good at Houdini-ing out anyway but it helps him settle and know its sleep time. Just now, he didn't like it (was overtired and just had to roll around next to me until tired enough to nurse) so I just laid the blanket across him on his cheek and it reminded him of sleep.

SIL knows Karp through work and swaddled until a year, and still does sleep sacks

i want to stop swaddling mostly so i can get her out of the rnp

her pulmonologist said she shouldn't be put to sleep flat on her back unless or until she able to roll and more likely to sleep on her side or belly

can't do that while swaddled

i'm all for sleep sacks though. just need to get her able to sleep with her arms out.

[Melaine]

Okay, I wanted to start with Ferber again last night, but I wanted DH's help, and he was not on board. It looks like its time to pretend to be a single parent again :(. Anyway, I'm chiming in to say that when I did those four days with DD, the night wakings immediately diminished. She went from every 45 min. waking to multiple hour stretches. Mostly, that has stuck. She will often sleep for two hours at a time now, sometimes longer.

Sorry you aren't getting any help. If it makes you feel better, I do all that stuff myself too. Part of the "deal" with having baby number 3 was that DH wouldn't have to do wake-ups or diapers and I've kept the bargain.

[sntm]

Ah. So basically needs arms free to roll over. Tough one. DS can roll over and wiggle out of any swaddle and does frequently, but it may be my poor swaddling skills.
Would it work to keep both arms in but make it a little looser each night?

[lmh2402]

ugh. she can't roll. at all. but there is absolutely no chance of her rolling while swaddled

i'm worried about the rolling. i think it's bc she spends virtually no time flat. tummy time - though we do it every day - is torture. she screams and pukes.

and flat on her back is...eh. though we do that with her play mat every day too

anyway, i just gotta get her out of the swaddle.

so, has anyone just done it cold turkey?

[123LuckyMom]

We stopped the swaddle cold turkey and started stomach sleeping. DD could roll over at that point. I thought tummy sleeping might lead to some actual sleeping, but it didn't. The swaddle or lack thereof didn't seem to make a difference for us.

[Hemlock]

Just curious if anyone following this thread had any success with sleep issues recently. I guess I just need some positive news or even some commiseration.

[Simon]

My baby is a little bit older than most of the ones on this thread, but I just wanted to say that around 11.5 months he has magically started sleeping very, very well. Much more soundly and for longer streches (4-6 hours), even though he is super congested and dealing with a virus. He still wakes a few times to nurse, but I'm okay with/encourage that because he doesn't take bottles well and I don't want to lose my milk supply entirely.

[edurnemk]

I missed this the first time, I'm in, too, DD is 6.5 months old, used to be a great sleeper until the 4 month regression, then we traveled, she got sick... now she's up at least 3 times every night.

She's never liked to be swaddled, she sleeps in fleece footed PJ's and I add a sleep sack when it's very cold. She sleeps in the PnP in our room. After the second waking of the night, I'm so tired I let her nurse lying down, and of course we both doze off, and she ends up spending about 1/3 of the night in my bed (no fluffy pillows or comforters, of course).

I'm too soft to try Ferber now, with DS we did it when he was 12 months old. Anyhow she has no trouble going down for the night, but she wakes up repeatedly, I give her her paci and she settles down most times, sometimes she does need to nurse to get back to sleep. I just wonder what happened to my little girl who could sleep 8-9 hours on a row at 3 months!

[pinay]

We hit the 4 month sleep regression and still haven't recovered :( It didn't help that DD2 had an ear infection and is starting to cut her first tooth- it's been a mess around here lately in regards to sleep! She's almost too long for the Rock n Play, but when I tried getting her to nap in the PNP this weekend she woke up almost immediately. She's also starting to get better at rolling over, which means we're going to have to give up the swaddle soon because she can roll onto her tummy but then can't get back on her back. I feel like it's all just falling apart right now in the sleep department and I'm not sure what we can do in the immediate future to fix at least one thing. If we could just get her to sleep for at least one long stretch at night, I think we would all be happier. As it is now, she's not sleeping well at night and hardly sleeping during the day (DH said she napped for a total of probably 45 minutes today!) and is a grouchy mess by dinnertime.

I don't want to attempt sleep training for at least a few more months- it's compounded by the fact that she will be sharing a room with DD1 who I don't want to put through that when she needs to be rested for school. Ugh, I don't even feel like I'm making sense anymore, just rambling because I'm too tired to formulate proper sentences :(

[123LuckyMom]

Just curious if anyone following this thread had any success with sleep issues recently. I guess I just need some positive news or even some commiseration.

Yes!!!!!!!!! I finally decided I had to Ferberize. I'm sooooo upset that I didn't do it sooner! DD does cry--for like 2 minutes! Seriously. I nurse her down, and when I try to put her in the crib, she immediately pops up crying. She lets out a shriek. I leave the room, and she goes to sleep. Immediately! I don't even have time to set the timer before she's quiet. During the night she was waking every 45 minutes. We did 4 days of modified Ferber around Christmas time. In that attempt, she cried longer. On the night we stopped, she cried for 15 minutes. It wasn't the length of the crying that made us stop but that it seemed to be getting worse, not better. During that time, though, she started increasing her sleep period from waking every 45 minutes to waking every 2-3 hrs or so, and that interval stuck after we stopped. Now, she does still wake a couple of times a night and not at regular intervals. She lets out a wail that wakes me. I set the timer. She falls back asleep immediately. I turn off the timer and can't fall back asleep!!! That's why I'm here at 5:30am. Still, the baby is sleeping!!! She is actually sleeping and hardly crying. Just do it! Ferberize! It worked with my DS, but he was colicky, and a little more crying hardly seemed to matter. With DD, who hardly ever cries, I felt bad. My sympathy was massively depriving her and me of sleep. I feel like an idiot for not doing it sooner. DD is almost 10 months and shares a room with DS who is 4. He almost never wakes from her crying, even when she was crying for longer periods of time.

[edurnemk]

Ok we just had the.worst.night.ever (with the exception of when she had an EI). I got no sleep last night, she kept waking up and fussing (she was a bit congested). When she finally fell into a deep sleep around 5 am, DS woke up crying because he wet his bed so I had to get up to help him. DH is out of town until Friday and I'm practically a zombie. I'm digging up my Ferber book when DD goes down for her next nap. Thank God the housecleaner is here today and we have leftovers we can have for dinner 'cause I'm exhausted and it's only 10 am.

[sntm]

We've had some bad nights with awake stretches but on the plus side, I've had several wakeupa where he goes back to sleep without nursing, just snuggled up. He's teething again, already, so that makes it harder.

We are the worst about cosleeping - totally pillows and comforters.

[mctlaw]

Our update is that we have some improvement but not complete success. It took a full 2 1/2 weeks of training for DS2 to not cry for over an hour when I put him down; though I am doing the kind of training where I stay in the room instead of ferber (though leaving the room is my eventual goal). For about the part 5 days, thankfully, he has fussed for 2 minutes or less!!

However, he still wakes up at the 45 minute interval and still wakes several times in the night. But, we are down to 3 wake ups or so as opposed to 6 or more. I have not attempted to do any middle of the night training. Just nursing to sleep. I just haven't felt like tackling that yet. Anyone have any middle of the night tips or successes they can share?

[BDKmom]

However, he still wakes up at the 45 minute interval and still wakes several times in the night. But, we are down to 3 wake ups or so as opposed to 6 or more. I have not attempted to do any middle of the night training. Just nursing to sleep. I just haven't felt like tackling that yet. Anyone have any middle of the night tips or successes they can share?

Glad to hear that things are improving. How's he doing with naps? If he is still not getting the hang of those, that might have something to do with his nightime waking.

[mctlaw]

Glad to hear that things are improving. How's he doing with naps? If he is still not getting the hang of those, that might have something to do with his nightime waking.
Hi BDKmom! His naps are slowly improving, usually at least one of them is an hour and 20 or 30 minutes, the other is often still 45 but occasionally I do get 2 good ones. He sometimes wakes mid nap but I'm able to get him back down. I haven't attempted any nap time training.

Once at night he did sleep 7 hours. I tell you, it was like the promised land. I have gotten 5 hours stretches a handful of times.

[123LuckyMom]

Mctlaw, I really would try leaving the room. The trick is that the baby needs to learn to fall asleep without you, or else s/he will continue to need you to fall back asleep at every waking. For us, the original putting down was the hardest and least important piece to tackle. It was the wakings that sucked, and the wakings that were easiest to extinguish. Originally, we did Ferberize the original bedtime, but now I still nurse DD down and put her in the crib asleep. I do not, however, nurse at night for wakings. I started by cutting down (only nursing after 3am, for instance) until I knew my DD wasn't hungry, and then I Ferberized for wakings. It reduced the wakings by the second night. If I were you, I'd either go for it in the entirety, or at least Ferberize the wakings. You'll have to leave the room, though. At least in my experience, my DD would cry forever if I stayed in the room. It was only when I left that she could give up on wanting me and go to sleep on her own. Good luck!

[mctlaw]

Mctlaw, I really would try leaving the room. The trick is that the baby needs to learn to fall asleep without you, or else s/he will continue to need you to fall back asleep at every waking. For us, the original putting down was the hardest and least important piece to tackle. It was the wakings that sucked, and the wakings that were easiest to extinguish. Originally, we did Ferberize the original bedtime, but now I still nurse DD down and put her in the crib asleep. I do not, however, nurse at night for wakings. I started by cutting down (only nursing after 3am, for instance) until I knew my DD wasn't hungry, and then I Ferberized for wakings. It reduced the wakings by the second night. If I were you, I'd either go for it in the entirety, or at least Ferberize the wakings. You'll have to leave the room, though. At least in my experience, my DD would cry forever if I stayed in the room. It was only when I left that she could give up on wanting me and go to sleep on her own. Good luck!

1243 Luckymom, thanks for the food for thought. I'm really glad to know that the night wakings were not all that difficult for you to get rid of. I assume DD got upset when you would not nurse? How long did you comfort before laying back down?

I re-read your recent post re: Ferber. I hear you about needing to leave the room, but for now we all sleep in the same room (rental house) so though I can leave at the initial bedtime I am going to be there during the night anyway (it is a big long room though, DS can hear me but not see me). I am trying to work up to that but tried Ferber for 5 days when DS hit 6 months and my experience was nothing like yours, unfortunately. The first night he cried for nearly 3 hours. And it was bloody mnurder crying non-stop, not intermittent crying or fussing. The second night nearly two hours. The crying did diminish but never got less than 30 minutes. The reason I called it quits was that DS began developing serious separation anxiety and since 6 months is too young for normal developmental anxiety, I attributed it to the Ferber training. He became withdrawn and cried whenever I put him down even for a moment. He was back to normal within about 3 days of me stopping and has not developed this issue with the gradual stay in the room training I have been doing for the past month.

Little DS has a cold now so the last few nights have been rough plus I haven't felt as if I should really sleep train while he is so uncomfortable and congested. Who knows were he will be when he gets over the cold. He has been up ever 2-3 hours again for the past 3 nights, with a significant night waking mixed in where he doesn't go back to sleep for an hour and a half. Last night I tried so many times to get him back to sleep that I basically gave up and let him cry for about 20 minutes while I lay there, because I had tried everything else. He just escalated - about 10 minutes in he seemed to be starting to settle, then he ramped it up big time and I finally attended to him. He went to sleep at about 4:30 am after that.

[Melaine]

Well, for us things still SUCK. I got Ferber book and read it which I guess doesn't really help until I actual do something. We have all been sick again and with him so congested I didn't expect him to sleep better....so he's been in the bed with me again for the last week or so. If we could ever all get better then I could make some actual progress.

[123LuckyMom]

Oh, mctlaw, that's terrible!!! I don't know how to help, because when I'm in the room, DD will not go to sleep. She will just cry and cry. It's the same for DS (4yrs), too. He will only sleep once I have left the room. Sharing a hotel room has so far been impossible unless we had a balcony to hide on until he was actually asleep. With both children, we moved them into a separate room first, then Ferberized. If I were you, I'd get out of bed and go sit in another room until your little one is asleep, returning for brief checks as appropriate. Once the baby's asleep, you should be able to creep back in.

As for the nursing with DD, I made sure she was getting lots of food during the day, solids and especially BM. I nursed her right before bed on both sides. I had been feeding her every 45 min. She wasn't hungry at these times, though. I was just doing it to get her back to sleep. I decided I would nurse until 12 am and then not again until after 3. If she woke during a nursing period, I nursed, put her in the crib, and left the room, returning for checks at appropriate intervals. If it wasn't a nursing time, I didn't pick her up, just shhh'd and spoke lovingly and then left again and returned for checks at proper intervals. When I re-Ferberized this last time, she basically stopped waking, so it was a non-issue. Now she goes to sleep at 8-9pm and sleeps through until about 6am, sometimes a little earlier. I don't try to make her go back to sleep if it's after 5:30am. It doesn't work and wakes my son. (They share a room.)

I agree that I wouldn't do anything while he's sick. I also wouldn't let the crying go on for hours night after night. I think you did the right thing by stopping! I stopped at much less. I would try again when he's feeling better, though, if you can think of a way to get him or you out of the room. I also might try putting him to sleep gently and only Ferberizing for wakings.

I'm so sorry you're still struggling, too, Melaine! If I can help, please let me know!