Please tell me this is the hardest stage...

[amom526]

I spend my entire day trying to get my 7 week old to sleep, while trying to keep the almost 2 year old from completely losing it. Ds2 cannot fall asleep or stay asleep during the day. ds1 goes out 3 mornings a week, but I spend the whole time he is gone just trying to get ds2 to fall asleep so I can have a tiny break.
Ds1 has been having major trouble with his nap as well, but I refuse to believe he's done napping because the child wakes up at 530 or earlier most days, and I may go insane if he drops his nap.
I then spend the afternoon dragging the rock n play around the house while trying to play with ds1 and get an overtired ds2 to close his eyes for even 5 minutes. Ds1 was the same way, and didn't really start napping during the day until 5 or 6 months. I hope I can make it that long!

We do get out of the house on walks some days, but going anywhere else is rough because ds2 needs constant attention and ds1 just gets upset. I'm so tired and have zero me time right now. Ds2 goes down fairly early for the night but I need to go to sleep early to prepare for a crack of dawn wake up by ds1.

I will accept any advice on how to stay sane, but also needed to vent!

[wellyes]

Hugs. 6-8 weeks is DEFINITELY the hardest. And I agree, a 2YO is very likely not ready to drop a nap, he's just struggling with the transition like everyone else in the house. Just do what you can to get through.

If it's in the cards financially, I'd consider putting the older child in extended day or even FT daycare for the next few weeks. That is what I did for the first 3 months when I had a newborn and a 2.5 year old, and it made the world of difference for all of us.

[mikala]

Will your ds2 nap or just be in a carrier? Ds2 practically lived in a carrier at that age while I played with ds1. At 6 months he is still a carrier baby for errands and whenever he is fussy around the house.

It doesn't help with the feeling you are always holding a baby but the ability to browse target with only one kid snoozing on my chest or just looking around is priceless.

It does get better. It has gotten a lot easier since ds2 figured out sitting and started to increase the amount of happy awake time.

[amom526]

I honestly have not really tried the carrier too much, mostly because I really struggle with having a baby on me at all times. I really need some personal space. But Ds2 also can't seem to get comfortable right now in a carrier. It probably would help if I at least had it as an option though. I have an ergo, another SSC and a wrap (can't remember which one, its like the mei tei that you don't need to wrap).

I hate the fact that I am almost wishing away the time to when he is a little older, because I know how fast it goes by.

[rin]

My babies have hated wraps/carriers as newborns, EXCEPT for the Babybjorn, which they've both loved. I know the Babybjorn is not popular on here, but I've loved it for little ones. Around 5/6 months or so is when we started using other carriers. When they're newborn-tiny, the poor ergonomics of the Bjorn aren't noticeable, at least not to me. If you're interested in giving it a try, I see them all the time on Craigslist for $20-$40ish.

[StantonHyde]

When DS was tiny, the Bjorn was the only way he would sleep. I would take a walk with him in the Bjorn, he would fall asleep and then I would come home and sit on my butt and eat bfast or drink a cup of coffee (its a little awkward doing it so the coffee doesn't go over baby's head, but it can be done!), use the bathroom, clean up a little bit. Yes, I hated wearing a baby all the time, I really need my space. But an asleep baby meant I could do something vs. an awake baby needing attention all.the.time.

I also slept with him at nap time. He would fall asleep nursing and then wake up an hour later. I would roll over and let him fall asleep nursing the other side. That way he got a 2 hour nap and I sort of slept.

And I totally second the idea of arranging afternoon care for your first child if possible. It made my life possible!!

[BabyBearsMom]

It is a really hard time. I survived by wearing DD2 in the moby. It was a light saver.

[AngB]

I feel ya! DS1 is 20 months, DS2 is 9 weeks.

Every day for naptime I put both kids in the car and drive for a bit, till they both fall asleep. If I have errands I can do from the car, like post office, I do them then, sometimes I just get fast food for me or just drive. After 20 min or less, DS1 is asleep and DS2 too usually. They stay asleep when I bring them inside so it's the easiest way to get them to nap at the same time plus getting out of the house and not having a kid on me for a few minutes helps with my sanity.

When it gets warmer we will probably go for walks instead, but for now, this is working for us.

[kaharris83]

Will your ds2 nap or just be in a carrier? Ds2 practically lived in a carrier at that age while I played with ds1. At 6 months he is still a carrier baby for errands and whenever he is fussy around the house.

It doesn't help with the feeling you are always holding a baby but the ability to browse target with only one kid snoozing on my chest or just looking around is priceless.

It does get better. It has gotten a lot easier since ds2 figured out sitting and started to increase the amount of happy awake time.

:yeahthat: To the Target comment. I just got back from a 3 hour peaceful Target wandering session made possible because DS2 slept in the Beco Gemini while I took my time.

I have a 7 week old and a 29 month old. I have to wear DS2 or I wouldn't be able to spend time with DS1. I wear him in the Moby wrap or the Beco Gemini.

[Tinochka]

First, hugs, mama! Yes, it is one of the harderst stage.
My kids are 16 months apart and it was a raugh beginning. I felt thas somebody always needed me and my attention. I survived using a sling carrier at the beginning and Ergo later (didn’t have them with DS!). Both of them were not good nappers in early stage, which was somewhat managable with 1, but with 2... It’s another story. If anything, I might bought another crib, instead of taking it from DS1 (he was wondering around in his bedroom instead of sleeping, then I put him in pack-n-play). With DS2 I kept the crib as long as he liked, to the point that DH and IL asked me till what time I am going to keep him there. My answer was, I am not going to fix what is not broken.
I bought a clock for DS1
http://www.amazon.com/My-Tot-Clock-Children-Better-So/dp/B001QS802K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1357509219&sr=8-1&keywords=tot+clock
Put the time of waking, what was regular for him, introduced it to him, then slowly moved the time to a little later, although he never was waking up at the crack of the dawn unless he was sick. Eventually I learned to put DS2 on my back, while I was doing laundry, shopping, etc. I tried to put for naps, but didn’t make a big deal, because then I was getting emotionally exasted. Once I cought that I was sitting and putting both kids for cat naps all day long sitting in the house, I decided that it was not worth it, although I put DS1 for a nap, (he moved to 1 nap at around 18months). I started to take them for a walk (purchased a good stroller with big wheels), once I decided to deal with DS1 first, then with DS2, I found DS2 peacefully sleeping in his carrier. I put the monitor for DS1, left the garage door crack opened to the basement (it was summer) and lay down in the basement. DS2 slept 1,5 hours!!! Fist time ever I felt like a brand new person. Then that became our tradition, then he started taking one but solid nap in his crib. Things got much better.
For ideas for sleeping I liked this book:
http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Through-Foreword/dp/0071381392/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1357509952&sr=1-
1&keywords=the+no+cry+sleep+solution
Hugs, mama, again. Things will get better.

[edurnemk]

Mine have a bigger age gap, but I survived wearing DD the first few weeks while I played with DS. She only liked the Beco Gemini and napped great in it, and wasn't a fan of the wrap, ring sling or Baby K'tan until she was older. I also have to confess to letting DS watch a lot more TV than we usually do during her first 2 months :bag

Will your DS2 nap in a stroller? DS was awful with naps until around 8 months and whenever I was at my wit's end I'd put him in the stroller and go for a long walk, he'd nap pretty well like that. Also napped well in the swing (DD does not, though).

Things got much easier closer to 3 months.

[amom526]

This may be a question for another thread or board, but I just don't seem to have any range of motion even if he gets comfortable in a carrier. I can't figure out how to sit down and keep baby happy.

Ds2 falls asleep in the stroller, but not for a long time. Same deal with the swing. I realize this is all par for the course and will pass, but it's rough!

[edurnemk]

This may be a question for another thread or board, but I just don't seem to have any range of motion even if he gets comfortable in a carrier. I can't figure out how to sit down and keep baby happy.

Ds2 falls asleep in the stroller, but not for a long time. Same deal with the swing. I realize this is all par for the course and will pass, but it's rough!

Sitting down is much easier with a wrap or baby k'tan than with a SSC, but doable. I know some people do back carries with a wrap even with NBs, but I have never tried it. The posters at thebabywearer.com are very helpful.

[amom526]

Yeah I think I will try to get some info over on those boards.

ds1 was up from 230-5 last night just talking to himself and crying intermittently. Im taking him to the dr just in case, but he has always had trouble falling asleep and sometimes staying asleep. I feel like he's a little toddler insomniac if that's even possible. Even though he doesn't require too much physical intervention when he is up, he is sucking up all my mental energy.

[roseyloxs]

:hug: The moby is a lifesaver for me. I always say that my babies can't fight the wrap. If I couldn't get them to nap then I slid them into the moby, put on some good music and danced around. They would be out cold before the first song ended. My older kids dance with me too when they are in the mood so it can be a group activity.

My mom's trick to getting babies to sleep is to put a burp cloth over their eyes while rocking them. Not as good as the wrap technique but still very effective for those babies that are in fear of missing something.

As for how to sit down with a carrier. I either lean back/slouch on a couch or sit on the edge of chair with my legs bent low underneath me to allow baby plenty of space.

[BDKmom]

First of all, hugs to you. I am just coming out of this stage and it is exhausting. Soon, though, the baby will be on a better schedule, the toddler will get more used to having the baby around, and you can get some of your sanity back. But until then, man is it rough. I agree with pp on getting some help with the toddler if you can. Mother's morning out, mothers helper in the afternoons, whatever is available and affordable to you, even if just once a week. It will give your older child an outlet to play/socialize without having to worry about the baby and you a much needed break from juggling them both.


ds1 was up from 230-5 last night just talking to himself and crying intermittently. Im taking him to the dr just in case, but he has always had trouble falling asleep and sometimes staying asleep. I feel like he's a little toddler insomniac if that's even possible. Even though he doesn't require too much physical intervention when he is up, he is sucking up all my mental energy.

FWIW, my DS never woke up at night until after DD was born. Since then, as much as a couple of times a week he will wake up in the night and cry for us and have a hard time getting back to sleep. I don't know if it is coincidental, and he would have done this at this age anyway (growing pains, bad dreams), or if it has to do directly with the baby, but some nights it makes us crazy. Just about the time we get the baby settled, the toddler will wake up, and vice versa.

Hope everything settles down for you soon. Lots of us have BTDT recently, so feel free to vent, ask questions, whatever helps.

[amom526]

Thank you ever for the encouragement and virtual hugs.

Ds is clearly struggling with the transition. He is an anxious child in general, but his separation anxiety and ability to self soothe have really taken a hit. He adores DH but he really will not leave my sight at the moment aside from when he is at playgroup m/w/f. Even when dh comes home from work, ds just cries at my feet while I nurse and refuses to go outside or do other things that he loves. It is very hard to watch him struggle, even though he clearly loves his little brother.

I could probably send him out the other 2 mornings a week, but I feel guilty doing that as a sahm, especially since I think he really needs the attention right now. He won't nap anywhere else, so sending him out afternoons is not really an option. But he is SO needy and I really never realized it before. he doesn't play by himself at all, and it's not good enough for me to be In the room o the couch, I need to be engaged with him on the floor. I love playing with him, and he is used to my undivided attention, but it is hard to be as engaged as he seems to need with the baby in tow. Hopefully if I can make a carrier work it will help. I hate to complain, but it helps-so thanks for listening!