Daycare teacher behavior question.. Am I over reacting?

[momm]

Ok I already know I am not over reacting, but please talk me down if I am.

DS 2.3 month old's second day in daycare. At the drop off, I was just settling him in, keeping lunch bag and stuff, and the teacher was getting the other toddlers ready for outside time. DS cried, as he realized I was leaving, and the little girl who was being gotten ready, turned to look at him.
Te teacher jerked her around by pulling her hand. The little girl literally spun around.
She almost yelled at her "look here and not t him while i'm getting you ready" or something to that effect. Definitely not a polite tone, not how you speak to kids.

She has always been polite the many times Ive seen her, but I realize that I have always seen her in front of other teachers and the director of the program. This was the first time I saw her behave with the kids, when no other adult was present. (Except me)

Sorry this turned out long.. But I am determined to pull DS out of the program. Am I over reacting?
I also feel I should let the director know of her behavior so other kids are not continued to be treated this way.

Am I over reacting from one days behaviour? I feel once is too many times... I doubt it was an aberration, seemed like her nature.

Tell me if I am over reacting? Please be honest. First experience with daycares and stuff

Thanks!!


Update - additional question
When you guys spoke to directors, did you not worry about repercussions on your child, if the teacher knew you complained?

[SnuggleBuggles]

I don't know what I'd do but I don't like it either.

[BayGirl2]

I'd talk to the Director about it and gauge their reaction and corrective action before pulling my child. I don't think you are overreacting by feeling her action was inappropriate. That's just the process I would go through if I was unhappy with something. One of the reasons I chose a center and not a home based daycare is for the oversight. That way I don't have to consider pulling my kid out every time something less than perfect happens, there's a path toward corrective action.

ETA: I think once you turn it over to the Director corrective action is in her/his hands. As a manager of that employee the Director may need to be discreet in their disciplinary choice. It may not be termination, it could be a warning, more supervision, whatever, depending on history. I'd tell the Director that I want to be confident this will not happen again, to my child or any other. That conversation (you and the Director) should be smooth and re-assuring. If its not then I think you have a bigger problem that will endure going forward, that's when I'd consider switching centers.

[klwa]

Talk to the director about what you saw. And talk to your son (as best you can) to see if that's how she is most of the time. It may have been a bad day & the teacher needs to be talked to. It may be her standard, and she needs to be let go. But, the director won't know unless people tell her/him.

[truly scrumptious]

I would tell the director.
We had a situation at DC's first daycare where 3 different parents reported separate incidents with the same teacher. The daycare tried to work with her (training, etc.) for the first two and finally ended up letting her go. I reported one of the incidents (involving another child, not my DC) and then another parent reported one incident involving my DC. I am so grateful that parent reported about how she treated my son because otherwise I would never have known.
The director was also very appreciative that we reported because then she knew to keep an eye on the teacher and take corrective action.

[emily]

When our DCs started at our current DCP, I witnessed one of the teachers yelling at the kids in DDs class b/c they weren't picking up toys and not listening. It was the tone of her voice I didn't like. She wasn't DDs teacher but a floater at the end of the day. I mentioned it to ghe director. There was another teacher yelling at kids to stop playing with the water fountain from across the play ground. Mentioned that one to the director too. Again, a floater teacher.

I didn't think to pull kids out and gave the school the benefit of the doubt. But we have three in daycare so finding a new one is a daunting task and didn't want to put kids thru yet another transition.

[wendibird22]

I'd speak with the director. I'd also see about doing random drop ins. At our last DCP the director whom we adore left and raised some concerns about oversight. DH and I both did one or two unannounced drop ins late morning, lunch, after nap and lingered outside the door (full glass walls so easy to observe) for a few minutes. We watched teacher interaction, watched the level of supervision (back to kids for example), etc and then left. DD1 never knew we were there. We wanted to see what was "normal" at times when parents are rarely around. It certainly wasn't convenient to leave work to do this for just a brief spot check but we felt we needed to in order to make an informed decision about whether to stay or go.

I wouldn't say you are overreacting...you saw and heard what you did, but I'm not sure I'd rush to pull my kid out just yet.

[YouAreTheFocus]

No, you are not over-reacting. My child is in a preschool that is part of a small group of schools; I recently reviewed the licensing violations for all of the schools. Over the past few years, there were 3 incidents that involved grabbing/pulling a child by the arm, all 3 resulted in the schools being cited with a deficiency from licensing. Yelling was also cited in one of the reports. Using these methods to make a child comply is considered a violation of personal rights. I'm assuming caregivers must be made aware of this (during training or whatever) as from these reports it seems quite black/white that they can't touch a child AT ALL (to make them comply).

You could report it to your licensing, if you wish. Here that would result in a site visit, licensing would require that the teacher be re-trained and would schedule a follow-up.

[sunshineboy]

I would, too - I would talk to the director too.

[momm]

Thank you for your answers, ladies!

When you guys spoke to directors, did you not worry about repercussions on your child, if the teacher knew you complained?

Updating the OP as well with this question

[BayGirl2]

Thank you for your answers, ladies!

When you guys spoke to directors, did you not worry about repercussions on your child, if the teacher knew you complained?

Updating the OP as well with this question

No. I have a great Director, we chat almost daily. I trust that she'll do the right thing for the kids and the center as a whole. I'm sure I've said things that got passed on to teachers, but I'd also expect the Director to make sure there are no repercussions. I mean if the teacher did react, what would that mean for a baby? Less care and attention, yelling, bad treatment? I'd expect once the teacher is being watched more closely (post-complaint) anything like that would be noticed by others as not acceptable.

[arivecchi]

I would talk to the director as well. I would not be afraid of any consequences. In fact, I would expect the director to thank me and keep me informed as to the actions being taken. I do think pulling your son right away might be an over-reaction though.

[lizzywednesday]

I would talk to the director as well. I would not be afraid of any consequences. In fact, I would expect the director to thank me and keep me informed as to the actions being taken. I do think pulling your son right away might be an over-reaction though.

:yeahthat:

If the director is worth his/her salt, they should take steps to address your concerns in a professional manner.

Oftentimes, yours isn't the only report they've heard, so it may be the nudge they need to begin disciplinary proceedings.

[redhookmom]

It is a personal pet peeve of mine when a teacher does not use her words! No need to physically direct a child if words work. Kind words are important too. You want someone who is demonstrating good behavior for you dc to emulate.

[Mommy2Abby]

I would talk to the director as well. I would not be afraid of any consequences. In fact, I would expect the director to thank me and keep me informed as to the actions being taken. I do think pulling your son right away might be an over-reaction though.

:yeahthat: Totally agree. Definitely talk with the director and give the director time to respond and keep you updated.

[llama8]

I do not think that you are overreacting in being upset, but you may be jumping the gun on leaving a center after only 1 day. My 2 DD's are in a daycare center and I have not witnessed any of the teachers exhibiting that behavior.

I would assume the teacher was having a bad day, but I would mention it to the director and see how it is handled. The way the director handles the situation and your son's impression of the teacher would go into my decision to stay or go find another center.

[SnuggleBuggles]

No. I have a great Director, we chat almost daily. I trust that she'll do the right thing for the kids and the center as a whole. I'm sure I've said things that got passed on to teachers, but I'd also expect the Director to make sure there are no repercussions. I mean if the teacher did react, what would that mean for a baby? Less care and attention, yelling, bad treatment? I'd expect once the teacher is being watched more closely (post-complaint) anything like that would be noticed by others as not acceptable.

:yeahthat:

[indigo99]

I'd almost want to do some more observation before mentioning it to anyone. Do they allow volunteers or is there a way for you to be around her more to see if that's normal behavior for her? Once someone says something to her, she's going to be more vigilant about how she acts when anyone else is around (though not necessarily change how she acts with the kids).

[shoremom]

I would speak to director if you like the school and monitor the drop offs/ pick ups. I've had to complain, but it was received and we moved on. Also, ask other parents...if it is just one teacher I would just address it...being that it does not represent the behavior of all the school's teachers.