Moms of only boys: I'm seeking your comfort

[BigDog]

I'm pregnant, I have 2 other children (both boys) ages 5 and 2, and I just found out that I'm having another boy. I'll be honest, I'm sad. I was really hoping for a girl each time around. DH is sad, too. I know it'll be ok, it'll be a wonderful family dynamic, but I'm still disappointed as I'm pretty sure we're done. I don't have any sisters, but I have an extremely strong bond with my mom, and I was just hoping for a girl to be able to have that with her too. I'll get over it and be fine, it'll just take a few days! So anyhow, just wondering if there are any other moms out there that felt this way when they were dealt all boys? Any kind words you can share to get me out of this funk and excited about having another wiener in the house?? :)

[elliput]

:hug::hug::hug: I think gender disappointment is something that most people deal with at some point. But, three boys potentially means three lovely DIL's, right? I believe that is a good deal. :love-retry:

[jgenie]

:hug: I'm a mom to two boys. I would be lying if I said I don't wish we had a girl but I wouldn't trade either of my boys for a girl. My little guys are the sweetest things - they tell me they love me all.day.long. They give kisses and hugs left and right. Our house is loud and messy and there are more trains, cars and trucks here than I ever thought possible. I wouldn't trade any of it. Give yourself time to mourn your ideal but you may be pleasantly surprised to find that you are getting your perfect family it's just going to look different than you envisioned. :hug:

[chottumommy]

:hug: I have 2 boys but I always envisioned myself to be a mom of 2 of the same gender. And if its any consolation my DH is completely a mama's boy and is very attached to MIL and FIL (calls them everyday, he's never bought me any jewellery but always buys something special for his mother's birthday). I appreciate that bond and never try to get in the way and hope that my boys would be attached to me at later stages in life.

[hillview]

Boys rule! Congratulations!! I love that the boys love to snuggle. That they are ALWAYS enthusiastic about doing something. That they tell me their secrets. That they have a good role model for a partner. That they don't take hours to get dressed or worry about that one item of clothes that is in the wash.

ENJOY

(and I feel you on the disappointment, it will pass!)

[mctlaw]

My two boys could not be more different from one another, but both are completely wonderful. I've BTDT though, I never had a sister and hoped I would someday have a daughter, but we're done.

[mom3boys]

I am a mom of 3 boys (obviously) and we are done having children. I know DH was disappointed because he always wanted a daughter. I felt some disappointment but also felt that I knew how to deal with boys already, had saved some clothes and toys, so that it might be easier to have 3 of a kind.

I have to say, I love having 3 boys. You know how moms of twins mention they get so much attention when they go out with their twins (questions from strangers--are they twins, are the identical, blah, blah), well it is kind of like that going out with 3 boys. People seem to be awestruck that I can manage it. They ask questions about them, about me, etc. I feel kind of like a rock star walking around with them (when they are all behaving, of course). Maybe it would be this way with 2 girls and a boy, but I don't think so.

My first grader gets off the bus every day and tells me he loves me almost first thing. The mom of two girls who also get off the bus at the same time remarked how sweet it was the first time she heard him say it. "Oh, they're all like that." I said. And they are--they are always telling me they love me and want to cuddle with me (and sometimes wrestle--but they know that behavior is for DH!).

I am close with my own mom, and my brother is also very close to her. Our sister, not so much. I don't think that is dictated by gender. I do sometimes look at the cute girl clothes and wish I had someone to dress them in (nearly all my friends have boys, and I have nieces but they are older), but that stage would really only have lasted a few years.

I also think it's great for the boys to have each other. I was worried if I had a girl (she would have been 3 years younger than DS2) she would feel a bit lonely and like she didn't have any built-in playmates. I have no such concerns about DS3. He is right in the mix even at 18 mos. Already starting to get obsessed about garbage trucks! I feel like they will be close their whole lives. DH is extremely close with his only brother, less close with his 4 sisters.

I do want to let you know to prepare yourself for the reaction you get announcing a third boy. Some people expressed honest excitement but some people also literally said things like "What a shame." or "You must be disappointed." Etc. DS3, by the way, is healthy, absolutely adorable (everyone says this, not just me!) and a DREAM baby who sleeps 12 hours a night and has for a year. I am not disappointed at all!

ETA: And they get dressed in 1 minute and pick whatever clothing is at the top of their drawer. And I don't have to put anyone's hair in pigtails. Mornings are easier than for Moms of girls!

[ellies mom]

Girls here but I can relate. I really wanted a boy the second time around. It took me a while to come around to a second child because I was really quite happy with DD1. I partly wanted a boy because I wanted one of each but I also wanted a boy because I wanted to keep the mother/daughter relationship I had with DD1 special, if that makes any sense at all. I didn't want a second child to change what we had. At first, I was so disappointed when I found out that DD2 was a girl. But then I just worked at embracing the idea. I went out and bought a wonderful pink yarn and knitted up a few items. I went out to a local boutique store and bought a darling pair of robeez. Eventually, and it really didn't take too long, I grew excited at the idea of having another daughter. And I wouldn't trade her for anything. I love having two girls and I love watching them together. I can't say that going out and buying an adorable pair of R2-D2 Robeez is going to do the trick but maybe give it a try.

And I really do feel for you because I think those feelings are normal and OK but you can't always express them because you are "expected" to feel grateful and to feel otherwise means you are selfish. Which is crap. You can feel how you want to feel and to be made to feel guilty isn't really fair. :hug:

ETA- And if you lived near me, I'd invite you to my daughter's birthday party. I have a friend with three boys. Normally her boys are invited to my daughters' parties but the last one was particularly girly so I just invited the mom and she had a great time making lip gloss and decorating lavender sachets right along with the girls. She got her fill of girly things and then went back home to her charming and utterly adorable sons.

[PZMommy]

I understand. I always thought I'd have girls, and grew up in a family of girls. When I found out my first was a boy, I was a bit sad, but got over it pretty fast. When I found out my second was another boy I cried for hours. I thought for sure I was having a girl, so I was really upset. Once I met him, I fell in love with him and he is such a momma's boy. We were pretty sure that we are done, but we go through phases of thinking about giving it one more try to have a girl.

[ilfaith]

I am a mom to three boys too. When I was pregnant with the first two, we didn't find out the gender in advance, but with the third one I had to know, in part because I wanted to know whether to hang onto all the baby boy clothes and things, but the real reason was because I feared that if I waited until delivery, in my mad post-partum hormonal state, I would have lost it when the Ob cried out "It's a boy!"

If I had a dollar for every time somebody made the comment "three boys, you really have your hands full" I could put all three through college...and possibly grad school. I have been asked countless times if I am going to try again for a girl, to which I always respond with the story of my one friend who had three boys, tried one more time and had twin boys.

I wouldn't trade any of my boys. Each one is unique and amazing. But I do admit, I sometimes feel a tinge of disappointment that I won't ever have a little girl to dress dolls with, or who will likely share my love of the Little House (on the Prairie, etc) series of books. I may never go shopping for prom dresses or wedding gowns. I won't ever have anyone borrowing my clothes or shoes or makeup (okay, this potentially could happen, and I will continue to love and support my son). I will sit through baseball games instead of dance recitals, (and save a fortune on dance costumes)

I do have an aunt who had three boys. A few months ago she had her first grandchild...a boy, and this week we just learned one of her other sons is expecting a boy as well. I guess some of us just aren't meant to buy pink.

So I am queen of my castle, although I do say if we ever get a dog it will have to be a girl, so I don't have to be the only "bitch" in the house.

[lovin2shop]

Just remember, boys are SO good to their mothers! You will have 3 boys to dote on you through old age. Someday you will look back on the sadness and think you were crazy to feel that way (not that there is anything wrong with feeling this way). Now that my boys are older, I really wish that I had been able to have another, and I would want it to be a boy again, no question!

ETA: Don't feel like you can't do some "girl" stuff with them as well. I did read the entire Little House series to my oldest, and he LOVED it! They also both regularly cook with me and we watch Food Network shows together constantly. My little one had a boy doll, and a play kitchen, and he loved to play "family" with me. Sure, you'll miss the fancy dresses and bows, but really, I have hard enough time keeping myself looking put together most days and boys are much easier in this regard.

[lmh2402]

if it makes you feel any better, i cried for weeks when i found i wasn't having a second boy

and i was just talking to my sister the other night about how sad i still am that my DS won't have brother, and my DD won't have a sister

i wouldn't trade my kiddos for all the world, but there is something so awesome about having same-sex sibling relationships

one of my aunts had three boys - my cousins - and they are all very different in personality, but the best of friends.

:hug: as a pp said, gender disappointment is hard, but no doubt when that baby is here, you are going to be over the moon

[lcarlson90]

I am a mom of 2 boys so I understand how you are feeling. Growing up I always wanted little girls. When I had both of my ultrasounds and found out I was having boys I told everyone I was okay but on the inside I was really sad. While I love my boys and would never trade them for the world I am still sad that I will never have a daughter.

With that said I try to remind myself of the positive aspects of having 2 boys as often as I can. I only wanted 2 kids so I am glad that they are both the same gender. It's nice because they have similar interests and like to play together and that makes me happy. I love seeing them be spies together. I also love the fact that they don't really care about their clothes so I don't have to spend a ton of money on their clothes and that means I can spend more on me. :D

My youngest DS is so sweet an cuddly and such a mama's boy and I love that. :heartbeat: Most of my friends have boys as well but my one friend finally had a girl and she really doesn't want much to do with her Mom...she is a total Daddy's girl.

[arivecchi]

I :heartbeat: only having boys! I have a sister and a brother and I have never been super tight with my sister, but am very close to my brother who is almost 10 years younger than me. I love that my boys are rough and tumble, rowdy, sweet and for the most part low drama. ;) My sister and I have a super complicated relationship so I think that definitely colors my perspective. In contrast, my DH has three brothers and they are all very tight and super close to their parents. I hope we have the same dynamic when the boys are older and I am so glad that no one will be "borrowing" my clothes and shoes!

I think having three boys is fantastic and I actually sometimes wish I had another boy so I say enjoy and have fun!

I am definitely a boy mama. :)

[Multimama]

Another boy mom checking in. :waving4:

I have two boys and actually go back and forth on whether I would want #3 (if there is a #3 someday) to be a girl or a boy. I was the youngest and only girl growing up and it was hard. I felt excluded from a lot of things my brothers did together, but at the same time I had trouble relating to my same sex peers who were into stuff I just wasn't exposed to or that interested in (make-up, fancy clothes, dolls, and so on).

I think three boys will be a great fun, dynamic for the kids like others have said. And although it won't be the same I bet you'll find that close mother-child relationship you want with one or more of your boys. DS1 has stronger opinions about clothes than I do!

[hellokitty]

BigDog, BTDT, I'm a mom of 3 boys, and yes, I am one of the moms here who openly admits that I've dealt with gender disappointment. I too did not have a sister and unfortunately I'm not close to my mother. Instead I had banked a lot of anticipation with the idea of someday having a dd (and a lot of this is my mom's fault too, since I didn't have a sister, she would defer me to the idea that it was ok, since I would someday have a daughter). However, that obviously did not work out the way that I thought it would. I've had my ups and downs. It was the worst during the second half of my pregnancy with DS3, when I found out we were having another boy, I completely lost any excitement for that pregnancy and I basically cried for the remaining 20 wks. The good thing is that as soon he was born, I fell head over heels in love with him. I have to admit that I did not have that strong of a, "falling in love" feeling with DS1 and DS2, so I was very surprised at my response.

My best advice to you, if you haven't announced yet that #3 is another boy is to keep it to yourself. Tell ppl that the baby was uncooperative and you couldn't tell. I recommend this, since I got many cruel comments from ppl that I knew as well as strangers when they found out it was another boy. I regret not just having kept the information to myself, to have avoided the negative nellies, kwim?

Having 3 boys is great. I did not think about it in the same way as the pp mentioned as to the attn you get, like twin moms. However, it is kind of true. I do get a lot of unsolicited attn when I have all 3 boys with me at one time. Some comments are nice, some not so nice and sometimes I think that they just look at me like we're a walking circus act. The dynamic btwn my boys is a fun atmosphere. I sometimes envy it. I wanted a sister so badly and never had one. At least my boys have each other and they have a good time. Our house is a boys' paradise of toys. Trains sets galore, bakugan, lego, beyblades, cars, toy story toys, etc.. Any little boys that come to our house don't want ever to leave, lol. So, yes, time will heal, but I would be lying to say that there is not an empty spot in my heart grieving for the dd that was never came to be. I still daydream sometimes about, "what if." However, I definitely am finished having kids, I have zero baby fever, I got a cute (male, I wanted a female, but we adopted, so I didn't have much choice in that manner) puppy instead and am smitten with him as my new baby, and to add to the weiner jokes, he is half weiny dog (dorkie, half dachshund, half yorkie).

Enjoy your boys. They will have a blast growing up together and you will have a loud, but fun household. I just keep reminding myself that in 10 yrs, when they're off to college, I will miss the chaos of our current household situation, lol.

[mommylamb]

I have two boys, and I wanted a daughter too, so I totally understand. But, like everyone says, having two boys is great also. I don't have much more to contribute than what others have already said. Only wanted to add a "yeah that" since I've been there too.

For the record, my boys are amazing, and I am so happy to be their mom.

[scrooks]

I have one of each but was completely freaked out when I found out DS was a boy. I had just a sister growing up and our house was already in girl mode with DD. I have to say though I fell in love with DS instantly (something that took me weeks with dd as a nervous first time mom). Boys are just so loving a cuddly. I wouldn't trade him for the world!

[klwa]

You may want to read "House of Testosterone", which is a light hearted look written by a mom of boys.

[JBaxter]

Well as a mom of 4 boys I was slightly ( like for 5 minutes) disappointed that #3 was a boy but after having a miscarriage and not getting pregnant for over 3 yrs I could have cared less that Jack was boy or girl. Boys ROCK. Seriously I am queen of my home and have 4 handsome adoring boys. Honestly it used to piss me off when people would say ... Oh are you going to try for a girl next. No Im happy with my beautiful boys.

[glbb35]

I think you have every right to feel the disappointment and it is true to give yourself time to mourn. We had such a hard time getting pregnant and I was just so overjoyed when it finally happened. Then we miscarried. When we got pregnant again we didn't find out what we were having and were just so overjoyed to have our baby boy born. I always hoped I would have at least 1 girl as we always hoped to have at least 3 kids but given the emotions it took to have the first I didn't know if the 1 was all we would have. We got pregnant again and I swear I knew it was a girl. I was over the moon. Then I lost it. I couldn't believe it. A few months later we got pregnant again and this time I just knew it would due a boy if it made it. The baby did and we were blessed with boy #2.

I was worried about getting pregnant a third time and having to deal with loss so I kind of just tried not to think about it. Well, shelving the matter must have worked as we got pregnant and this time with twins. Talk about a shock! I was so worried I would loose one or both as that seemed to be our MO but when they finally arrived and the first came out a boy, we just laughed. 11 minutes later our 4th son was born and since he came out breech, they knew it was a boy before I could even see him. I did feel a tinge of disappointment and actually asked my hubby if he was disappointed to which he said no. I did feel a little sad but then when I was able to lay my eyes on him (they were sent to the NICU) I was completely in love and no longer cared. They were so tiny and so fragile with all the lines and wires hooked up to them and I was just so in love and I realized I was meant to be a boy mom. That was how it was. I can tell you I am so thankful to have boy twins. I would not have wanted one to be a girl. They just work together well.

Well, we were done but now my super fertile body (I swear and my doctor said it too that those miscarriages made me more fertile) gave us a surprise baby when we didn't expect it. We didn't find out what it was but everyone thought it would be a girl. I hoped for a boy. Can you imagine being a girl with 4 older brothers? I hoped for a boy and when it was a boy I was relieved. I am meant to be a boy momma and I am proud of it.

Yes, we are a circus act everywhere we go. "5 boys?" " you are blessed", or "you poor thing", "you must be busy" we hear it all. People just say things without thinking about what they are saying and they say what they are often fearful of. I had 5 boys because as my neighbor said "God knew what I could handle" sometimes I think that is funny as I am handling a circus. But like the other posters I am sooo thankful. My nieces while fun are so difficult and it is only getting worse as they reach "tweenhood". They eventually will have a nice relationship with their mom when they get much older. But I get to have a nice relationship with my boys now. I can't imagine not having my boys. My sister as two boys as well so my parents have 7 grandsons. I know they long for a girl. But both our ovens are closed! sometimes people pity me for not having girls and that makes me so mad. I am just thankful I have children to begin with and I do believe you get what you get for a reason.

My SIL found out with her first she was having a boy and she cried and grew very depressed over it. For months she was sad. I always felt bad for her. When her son was born she lightened up some and she does love him. When her second was born a boy she mourned again and we all gave her space. She is done with kids and is extremely religious so she believes this is God's plan. I think she will always feel some loss but she is realizing it is done and her boys are precious.

I was told one by a former teacher friend who had 3 boys and who used to get really angry when people pitied her for having 3 boys as it is just not that wanted in America it seems. Go anywhere in the world and they practically bow to you when they find out you have all boys. :) anyway someone once told her that she had boys so they would bring home her daughters. This couldn't be more true. she is very close to her first DIL she was even there for the birth of their child as she and her own mom have a strained relationship. Her second sons wife is amazing and they even moved down the street from them. The third is in college and she again feels blessed to get along with the girlfriend.

I do feel you sadness. You have every right to feel this way and should mourn however you want. You know what once you have that precious baby, those feelings melt away. Maybe you will think about having a 4th. Maybe not. Time will tell. You can always blame your husband, it is technically his sperm's fault! :) ha!

Congratulations on your growing family. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is great!

B

DS 03, 06, twins 09, 11

[sewarsh]

I am not in your situtation, but I have about 5 friends that all have 3 boys and each of them had a hard time with it. One of them cried for days when she found out. Of course they are all happy now, but its okay to be disapointed...it doesn't mean you'll love your baby any less. Boys are awesome. Congratulations!

[BigDog]

I just want to thank everyone for their kind words and understanding. It's wonderful to have this kind of support group to turn to when needed. All of you are an inspiration. I truly appreciate it! :hug:

[gcc2k]

I'm a little late to this post, but I wanted to thank everyone as well. I'm pregnant with #2 and we will be finding out the gender in 2 weeks. I'm nervous about it because I really want a girl this time around (first child is a boy) and I know I'll be disappointed if it's another boy, because we will probably be done with 2. I definitely want to find out now as oppose to waiting so I can get used to the idea and not be disappointed at birth.

Anyway, so thanks for all the words of encouragement. I know I'll be happy no matter what God gives us, but it may take a little time to realize that! I also try to like at it like this: I'd like a girl for me, but a boy would be a great gift to DS. Brothers could have so much fun together!

[bisous]

I'm a mom of three boys! It is wonderful here. While I do think it would be fun to have a girl, I LOVE my boys and feel like I was born to raise them.

I am a girly, girl. I grew up with three sisters (and a brother) so I felt I was made to raise girls. I still feel the need to nurture little girls sometimes so I'm a great aunt to my nieces and I spoil them rotten. Someone here once said something like, "My boys will bring me my girls" or something to that effect. I anticipate the day when my sons will get married and I'll have DILs. I hope I'll be a good MIL!

[g-mama]

I can't think of anything to add that hasn't already been said. I :heartbeat: having three sons. I never thought I'd want that, and most definitely wanted a daughter. There are days here and there when I worry I will "lose" my sons to their wives but it's just so hard to imagine it when my sons are as loving with me as they are. I think the relationship growing up must dictate the adult relationship.

There is something very neat about the three of them having each other. They know they are fortunate and have even had friends tell them they're jealous!

I totally get the disappointment and I felt it, too. But trust us, it will turn out to be a very special thing. :love2:

[endlessheather]

I have 2 boys and well was upset that we didn't have a girl. Of course I feel incredibly blessed and for some reason by saying that I was sad a lot of my friends took that as we didn't appreciate the gift we were having anyhow. It's not really that! :) So, I understand the gender disappointment very well. I was incredibly sad for a long time and especially when my SIL found out her 2nd unplanned pregnancy was a girl (and 1st girl in the family). It broke my heart because we had wanted a little girl so bad. Without going all religious I feel thankful to have my 2 little boys :) who are definitely mommas boys, cuddles, sensitive, loving little kids but I do pine sometimes for a little girl. We haven't ruled out a 3rd and I'm secretly hoping we can try for a girl but it would be a surprise the next go round and I wouldn't find out. There is definitely something special about brothers and that bond. We are blessed with what we are blessed with in the end!

[alexsmommy]

Love, love, love having three sons. My mood determines my response to negative comments, which are always rude no matter what the intention and should NEVER be made in front of my amazing men. If I'm cranky I mention my five miscarriages and how I feel blessed every day to have three kids. If I'm in a good mood I just say, "Well, I'm better with Batman than Barbie so it works."
As a therapist, I have seen SO many mother-daughter dyads that are just horrible. For whatever reason, but often just simply bad personality match. That can happen no matter what gender, just as good personality match can happen no matter what. My DH always says his mother was his best friend before she passed. My brother is very connected to and loving with my mother and really, have always had a less complicated relationship than me and mother - though now things are fine and we are close.
If I occasionally need a girly fix I borrow my neighbors girls. My boys do things I never imagined, like playing with my hair (they are fasincated because mine is so much longer than theirs). DS1 and I are starting a plan for him to plan from shopping to serving one dinner meal a month. All three love to bake. When I had the flu each of them snuck in my room to check on me and ask if I needed anything and tell me they loved me. DS2 likes artsy stuff so I get that stuff there.
At the end of the day, I think of all of the things that can go wrong during conception and birth and realize any healthy child is a miracle and blessing. After five miscarriages, when pregnant with DS3 I had a CVS so could have known the gender with 100% certainty. When they called with results I felt such relief to hear "nomal and healthy" that I declined to learn the gender. After our journey, it just didn't matter. DH and I just laughed out loud when they called out "it's a boy." He is the funniest, sweetest kid and a brings joy to my life every day. I loved that at Disney they all wanted to do the same things. Even with the age spread, we can find plenty of activities that interest all of them. Plus, DS2 seems to be leaning towards art/music so if he's not into sports, I'll just take him with me to pursue those interests while the oldest and youngest can head out with dad to the games. Otherwise, I'll enjoy my alone time when I beg off of the occasional sporting event.

[SnuggleBuggles]

(((((hugs)))) and congratulations!!

I have 2 boys and if I had more kids, I totally want more boys!

Wishing you peace and happiness with your testosterone heavy brood. :) It'll be great!

[wencit]

Just wanted to add to the chorus here. I cried in the delivery room when DH announced that the baby was a boy. (We didn't find out the gender beforehand.) Some of those tears were of happiness, relief, and joy - but a small part of those tears were also of disappointment that I didn't get "my girl." We knew that DS2 would be our last baby, and it was my last chance to have a daughter. Those first few hormonal weeks after his birth, I literally couldn't look at a picture of a baby girl without bursting into tears.

Fast forward 3 1/2 years, and I realize that I could not have been more blessed with these two AWESOME boys that I have. They are completely different in temperament and personality, but they are both the light of my life, 100%! And oh my goodness, my heart just bursts with joy when they play together, because it's obvious they both absolutely adore each other as well. They truly are best friends.

[jennilynn]

Thanks for starting this thread. We find out in a couple of weeks what we're having, and already so many people have asked "are you hoping for a girl?" Sometimes, I admit I am but other times, I just say I'm hoping for a happy, healthy EASY baby. My boys are soooo sweet and I would love another, but I'm pretty sure I'll feel disappointed at first if we find out our third a boy (and reading all the responses reminded me why a three boys would be lovely.) Because after this, the baby factory is shutting down.:D

[Tinochka]

I have 2 boys 16 months apart. I don’t know why, but I was thinking that my 1st one is a girl (we didn’t find out about gender). When they gave me a boy, I was speechless, because I was already picturing myself taking my girl to dance lessons... Now I can tell, most likely I wanted to do whatever I was not able to do as a girl with my girl. With a second one I decided to find out about gender, but I told to myself, that I’ll be surprized if it is a girl, because I was feeling the same way, my belly was the same way, I didn’t have morning sickness at all.... I was a little bit sad, but then I realized that I don’t need to buy any clothes, toys, which is helping us. They became best friends and can play with each other for hours. I don’t have any drama about clothes. My 2nd one is very touchy feeling boy.
Ironically my 4 friends have girls. One of them decided to have 2nd child and ended up with a girl;). I buy clothes for “my” girls and it’s giving me some satisfactory.
My grandma had 5 girls and never got her boy (agriculture, where having a boy is very helpfull and her DH died shortly from the WW2 wounds).
We still entertain the idea of the 3d child, but I decided to wait, so, that it’s really want another child, vs. a girl. I think if we’ll go for it, I will ask for a health. I kept all my boys clothes just in case;).
When ppl make a comment that I must be busy, I say “No, when I saw my friend’s girl, I would not want to change anything about my boys”. I also heard that teen years are very rough on parents with girls;) I’ll be honest, ppls comments are not making me mad or sad.
Anyway, congratulations, mama, and I wish you to have a healthy pregnancy and a happy, healthy baby!!!

[MichelleRC]

Boys ROCK. Seriously I am queen of my home and have 4 handsome adoring boys. Honestly it used to piss me off when people would say ... Oh are you going to try for a girl next. No, I'm happy with my beautiful boys.

:yeahthat:
Except I have 2 boys, not 4 :)

[Tondi G]

I am a Mommy to 2 boys. I totally get it! I was quietly hoping for a DD when DS1 came about... but when we found out he was a boy we were thrilled.... honestly we wanted a healthy baby. Between my boys we had 2 mc's ... by the time we knew that the 3rd time was the charm we wanted a healthy baby ... but I was quietly a little bummed that again we didn't get our girl. We have a whole lot of reasons why we haven't had a 3rd child ... but I haven't had that 100% I feel like I am done and our family is complete feeling. If we do decide to have a 3rd I would love for it to be a little girl. I would be feeling exactly the way you are right now.... so I think it is pretty normal to have that gender disappointment.

I do have nieces and a god daughter.... and some of our friends have 4 children .... 3 of whom are girls. When I spend a length of time at their house and get to hear the banter between those girls ... and the shrieks and crying and attitudes that they get from their girls, I give thanks that I am a Mom to boys. I am not a girly girly myself ... I am not really sure I would know what to do with a girly girl if I had one?! My DH always says that we are just little boy makers ... he swares that if we try for a 3rd we will have another DS. Some days I think that wouldn't be so bad. I do LOVE my boys and wouldn't trade anything in the world for them. They are so sweet, and cuddly and funny. Sure we have our share of burp and fart jokes ..... but we also have a ton of fun with mustaches and spy gear and super heroes. Like someone else says ... I can only look forward to them growing up and bringing a wonderful young lady into my life in the form of a DIL! And maybe we are in line to be grandparents of a gaggle of grand daughters!

(HUGS) don't feel bad about feeling bad about it. I know you will come to love being a Mom to 3 boys.... give yourself some time. Hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth and that your newest bundle of blue brings so much joy in your life!

[smilequeen]

I have 3 boys and I love it! It really is fun. I do think I was better suited to being a boy mom and I guess I have a mild preference for little boys, but I always thought I'd have 1 girl and I would have been thrilled to. So, while I'm not into all the girly things (I am pretty girly, but I love sports and hate ballet, cheerleading, and princesses...especially princesses!) I did just kind of expect to have a few boys and a girl, but I only got the boys. I wouldn't trade the boys for the world and I'm very happy with the family I have, but I cried a little a few weeks after we found out about #3 when it suddenly hit me that I was never going to have a daughter, and I have moments where I wonder what it would be like to add a little girl to our family, but overall I think having 3 boys is perfect :)

[indigo99]

... and that is why we are done with two. I've always wanted a girl and always known that I'd have boys. I was disappointed but not surprised when I found out the gender both times. I was so close to my mother and grandmother. They were the most important people in my world, and I lost them both to cancer within 2 years of eachother in my mid twenties. I really, REALLY wanted a daughter to have that sort of relationship with, and I'm still sad that I never will.Of course I love my boys, but I don't know that I'll ever get over wishing I'd had a girl. If I knew for sure that I'd have a girl then I'd have another baby tomorrow.

[twotimesblue]

I have 2 boys - DS2 is only 8 weeks old :heartbeat:

We didn't find out the gender with DS1 and didn't want to know with DS2... during our NT scan the technician blurted out 'oh, that's definitely another boy', and zoomed in on the genitals! I was upset, mainly because DH and I didn't want to know, and because I love DS1 so much I couldn't imagine another boy measuring up. I already had my perfect son, and just kind of assumed I'd have a DD to get the 'pigeon pair' that society seems to hail as the ideal family make-up.

It's early days, but I wish I hadn't spent a minute of my pregnancy being upset. DS2 is such a peach, and I am totally in love with him. DS1 is not yet 3, but he is already so proud to tell everyone that he has a 'baby brother', and asks me every day if he can teach 'HIS' baby to play trucks/lego etc etc. I sincerely hope that my boys will be best friends for life.

I have examined the reasons that I wanted a DD and aside from societal expectations, I've struggled to come up with an answer. My maternal grandmother has 8 kids (4 boys, 4 girls, including my mom) and she tells me regularly that if she could do it again and choose, she'd have 8 boys in a heartbeat! She maintains that the girls gave her much more trouble, and continue to do so, even though they are all middle-aged now. I adore my mom, and we're close now (even though she lives thousands of miles away), but we had a very fractious relationship for years. I don't think the mother/daughter relationship is always as wonderful as we're led to believe. I also have a brother and a sister, and my sister and I are like oil and water: I don't have a relationship with her anymore. She causes so much heartache in our family, always dragging up stuff from the past, whereas my brother has always kind of 'got on' with things: I think the obsessing over emotional issues and drama in general is more of a girl trait. I envy my brother's ability to just shake himself off and rise above the drama.

I posted a few weeks ago about how people's reactions to the announcement of DS2's arrival upset me (and continue to do so). A lot of pitying looks/comments from friends and complete strangers that moms with multiple girls don't seem to get. Girls do seem to be the 'prize' gender for a lot of people these days, and as a fiercely proud boy mom, that makes me sad. Boys are just as wonderful!

You will love having three sons. All my friends with three of the same gender insist that the third is always very special: you have a wonderful and rare family make-up, and your boys will adore you for life. Congratulations!

[gamma]

The thought never occured to me that I would be raising boys! I pictured myself sitting under a tree, playing with Barbie dolls with my daughters. With all 3 pregnancies I never found out what I was having and on the way to the hospital, it hit me that I could really be havng a boy. With my third pregnancy, I desperately wanted a girl! I would joke that if this was another boy, I would start "The Mothers-in Law alone on holidays Club"! Then as I was pushed past the NICU on the way to the delivery room, that made me realize that as long as our baby was healthy that was all that matters. I had boy #3 and once I saw him I was in love. What I came to realize as I watched my friends raising girls was that I really didn't have the personality to raise girls! I was much better suited to the personalities of boys. There wasn't any struggles over clothes and if they were angry with one another they got over it so quickly. I don't know if the pp s with 3 boys have had the same experience, but my third boy has the most amazing personality. He has always been so amusing and entertaining. He makes me smile and laugh everyday! My 3 boys are adults now. They are very close and talk to each other everyday. Two of them work together and they all hang out with each other. I am happy to report that I have never spent a holiday alone. I have a 1 SGD and 2 DGS and it's fun to be the Grandma to a girl and I love her dearly, but I really get a kick out of the boys and all their antics!

[Cam&Clay]

I sat on an airplane this week across the aisle from 3 teenage girls. I am so glad I have boys because OMG the giggling, screeching, etc.

I always envisioned myself as the mother of boys. With DS1, we were told that he was most likely a girl. It just didn't feel right to me and I refused to buy girly stuff. Sure enough, he was a boy and all was right with the world.

When we found out that DS2 was a boy, I was so happy. A lot of people told me I had to try for a third, but we had no intention of doing so. I absolutely love having two boys.

I really had no desire to have a girl. I was a teacher and found boys to be happier, more kind to each other, and generally just easier to deal with than girls. Having said that, I think it's normal for you to be disappointed, but I promise you, you will be fine. Boys are awesome!

[hellokitty]

The thought never occured to me that I would be raising boys! I pictured myself sitting under a tree, playing with Barbie dolls with my daughters. With all 3 pregnancies I never found out what I was having and on the way to the hospital, it hit me that I could really be havng a boy. With my third pregnancy, I desperately wanted a girl! I would joke that if this was another boy, I would start "The Mothers-in Law alone on holidays Club"! Then as I was pushed past the NICU on the way to the delivery room, that made me realize that as long as our baby was healthy that was all that matters. I had boy #3 and once I saw him I was in love. What I came to realize as I watched my friends raising girls was that I really didn't have the personality to raise girls! I was much better suited to the personalities of boys. There wasn't any struggles over clothes and if they were angry with one another they got over it so quickly. I don't know if the pp s with 3 boys have had the same experience, but my third boy has the most amazing personality. He has always been so amusing and entertaining. He makes me smile and laugh everyday! My 3 boys are adults now. They are very close and talk to each other everyday. Two of them work together and they all hang out with each other. I am happy to report that I have never spent a holiday alone. I have a 1 SGD and 2 DGS and it's fun to be the Grandma to a girl and I love her dearly, but I really get a kick out of the boys and all their antics!

I'm so glad that you posted. I like hearing from moms of 3+ adult boys, so I can know what to look forward to. When I am on forums or with IRL friends that are moms of all boys, we are all in the trenches right now with big messes and lots of noise, so it's hard to think outside of what we are dealing with now with younger boys and the amt of energy it takes to keep up with them. My fear is also of being left behind when my boys are grown and being, "just" the mil, and nothing else. It doesn't help the situation that I have a horrible mil, so I'm not looking forward to being a mil myself. However, it's encouraging to hear that the similar fears you had, did not ever materialize in reality. As for the third, my third is fun and crazy, but he is not the, "easy" child that everyone told me he'd be. He has a strong personality and can be sooo stubborn. DS2 is also very stubborn and I had hoped that DS3 would not be a repeat of DS3, but he is, but with even more intensity! I just keep hoping that those personality traits will help them in their future (high power?) careers, lol.

[stinkyfeet]

I am in the same boat--I have two boys (ages 4 &2) and have a third boy on the way in April. I haven't read the other responses, but I will be honest is saying that I am not unhappy at all (despite what complete strangers think I feel)

I really like how close my two boys are and how well they play together. I was worried that if #3 was a girl, they would play with her while she was young but tend to leave her out as they got older. I really hope that all of my boys will be life-long best friends.

Chin up! Babies are a blessing no matter what their gender!!