s/o: do your kids call their grandparents what the grandparents want to be called?

[AnnieW625]

Okay so my FIL decided when my BIL had his son in 2010 they wanted to be called Ma Mere, and Pa Pere. My FIL's maternal grandparents who he idolized were French Canadian immigrants who lived in Vermont. My ILs don't speak French at all; DH's grandma was fluent though before she died. DD1 was 4 when DN was born, and for the past year prior since learning how to talk (she had speech delay) called them Daddy's mommy and daddy with us (made us laugh because she barely knew them until she was 4, they were just people she saw maybe once a year; it has gotten more common since BIL had DN), but when we saw them we called just Grandma and Grandpa Last Name, which we had been doing since DD1 was born with my parents as well. Now DD2 calls them Grammy, and Grandpa, same as what she calls my parents. DD1 just talks to MIL when she wants her attention, and she calls FIL Grandpa. The ILs still insist on being called Ma Mere and Pa Pere. It just doesn't seem natural to me because that is the only French words they know. I took 5 yrs. of French in school and can still read it with very little problems, but it just seems out there to me, especially since they didn't insist on it when DD1 was born.

[hellokitty]

It is kind of weird, b/c I am taiwanese and called my grandparents "Ah-ma" (grandmother) and "Ah-gong," (grandfather). Dh is korean and grew up calling his grandparents, "Hahrmony" (grandmother) and "Hahrbolgee" (grandfather). However, my kids have always just called either sets of grandparents, "grandma" and "grandpa." IDK why I didn't think at the beginning to teach them to call their grandparents, by the ethnic name for grandparents. Unfortunately, it has become a bad habit and it honestly just slipped my mind and I didn't think about it until only a yr ago, that we should have stuck to the taiwanese and korean versions. Whoops. My in laws didn't seem to care, but my parents have brought it up. I should try to make sure my kids switch over to the ethnic versions. FWIW, both dh and I had grandparents that lived overseas, so addressing grandparents was uncommon, since we rarely ever saw them. I think this is why we just fell back to grandma and grandpa, b/c if we were referring to our grandparents, we would just use the english version, not the ethnic version when talking about them. We'd use the ethnic version to address them, but since we rarely ever saw them (I've met my grandparents on both sides, less than 4x), it wasn't habit forming enough to really stick in my mind.

[lalasmama]

The only one who "insisted" on being called anything was my mom, and it was only a minor thing. She always called herself "Gammy" instead of "Grammy" when she was talking to her grandkids, but would completely willingly answer to Grammy. She's been gone nearly 6 years, and I still refer to her as Gammy when I say something about her to DD, who was 2 when she passed, and doesn't remember her much anymore, other than through pictures. Others, though, refer to her as Grammy around DD, and I don't correct them. ... Just thought of another one. My step-father wants to be called "papi". He was raised in a heavily Dominican area in Florida, so that was the "normal" grandpa name there, despite him being as pasty white as they come ;) I go along with it when he signs things "Papi," but I don't think about calling him "Papi" or "Papi FirstName" with DD most of the time. But we don't see/talk with him often either.

Almost all of DD's other grandparents are Grandma and Grandpa FirstName, because we have a LOT of people she calls Grandma and Grandpa--my birthmom, my dad and step-mom, SO's dad and step-mom, SO's mom, along with one of my 2 BFF's parents and grandparents. The other BFF's parents and grandparents to Grandma and Papa, and since DD's around the other kids calling them that, we've adopted it too. (And they refer to DD as their own grandchild, so I like her calling them the same thing that the other grandchildren call them.)

[Green_Tea]

My ILs are Grandma and Grandpa (their choice.) My parents are Grammie (which is what her mom and grandmother were also called) and Pop Pop. My dad was going to be Grandpa, but my DD, the first grandchild, couldn't say it and instead said, "papa" which morphed into Pop Pop. That's what all his grandkids call him, and he loves it. It doesn't hurt that he's the hands down favorite grandparent of all the grandchildren :rotflmao:.

I think grandparents should get to choose what their grandkids call them. I know lots of grandparents who go by ethic/traditional names (meme/pepe, memere/pepere) in spite of not speaking the language they come from. We make such a big deal out of insisting that people call our kids what we prefer (and rightly so!) - shouldn't grandparents be afforded the same privilege? Nobody likes to be called something they don't like.

[Cam&Clay]

My parents wanted to be Gram and Granddaddy. DS1 called my mom Grammy so that stuck and that is what DS2 called her as well. Both have since passed away but we refer to them as Grammy and Granddaddy.

XH's parents wanted to be Nana and Pop, but DS1 called them Nene and Boppa. They thought it was adorable so it stuck. He calls them that and subsequent grandchildren do as well. He also still refers to them as one entity, even at 14. He goes to "Boppanene's house," which I think is sweet. They have offered to let DS2 call them by those names but we are having him call them by their first names since they are XH's parents. I will give them lots of credit for being so very kind and welcoming to DS2.

DH's parents had many grandchildren by the time DS2 showed up and were called Granny and Gramps. DS2 calls them that. They suggested that DS1 call them by those names, but DS1 feels more comfortable calling them by their first names since they are his step-grandparents. He didn't meet them until he was 8 and already had two sets of grandparents.

[georgiegirl]

My parents live across the country so my kids don't see them often. The plan was grandma first name and grandpa first name. However, when dd was 15 months old, she started calling my father Baba and he thought it was cute, so it stuck. Well, DH's parents are Bulgarian, and the word for grandma is Bulgarian is Baba. I told MIL it was already taken (since the first time she saw dd when she was verbal was at age), so she decided on Babi (which is like granny). For FIL, the kids call him by his nickname.

I think both parties should have say in the name. I can see why you would be annoyed with the whole French name thing.

[Liziz]

I think grandparents should get to choose what their grandkids call them. I know lots of grandparents who go my ethic/traditional names (meme/pepe, memere/pepere) in spite of not speaking the language they come from. We make such a big deal out of insisting that people call our kids what we prefer (and rightly so!) - shouldn't grandparents be afforded the same privilege? Nobody likes to be called something they don't like.
:yeahthat: I think this is a good point. I do sympathize though that it's a bit annoying to ask to change now, when your DC is 4, instead of deciding when they first became grandparents. If I were you, I'd just start referring to them by their preferred names. If your DC pick it up, great. If not, I wouldn't sweat it or push your kids to change, though. Also, if your kids hang out with DN a lot, and she's calling them by the French names, your kids might just pick up on it.

To give a positive twist, I do think it's convenient when different sets of grandparents have different names so you can drop the last name! DD isn't old enough to use the names yet, but my ILs requested odd names instead of "grandma and grandpa". Since birth, that's what we've used w/ DD, and it makes it convenient b/c then my parents are simply "grandma and grandpa" instead of "grandma lastname and grandpa lastname"

[wendibird22]

All 4 grandparents are grandma/grandpa FirstName. I would have preferred it be grandma/grandpa LastName because a)that is what I did and DH did for our grandparents and because I think it is more respectful. However, my mom HATES being called grandma LastName because that's her MILs title from my bro and I and my mom and her MIL had a very rocky relationship. She doesn't want to be called the same thing we called a woman she loathed. Soooooo, we settled on grandma FirstName and my ILs were fine with that too (we asked). Neither DD has every come up with some other name for them.

[buddyleebaby]

Yes. They call them Grandma and Pop Pop, because that is how we've always referred to them.
DD2 sometimes calls my sister by her first name instead of Aunt Firstname, but that's because I often forget to add the "Aunt" when talking about her, and she overhears me talking *to* her all the time.

[pastrygirl]

No. I never had a "grandma" or "grandpa" as a kid and felt left out, so even though MIL wanted to be Nana, we asked her to be "grandma".

[wellyes]

Yes, I let the grandparents pick.
Same principle as letting adults pick it they want to be FirstName or Mrs. Lastname or Aunt Firstname. Teach kids to respect adults' choices.

[maestramommy]

My kids call their grandparents the Taiwanese title. Amah and Akong. The only Taiwanese words they know. Cept for a few foods. We didn't ask our parents what they wanted to be called. We assumed that's what they wanted. SIL already had kids when Dh and I met and they've always called their Taiwanese grandparents by their titles, and their Caucasian grandparents Grandma and Grandpa (I assume).

Now I did notice when Dora talks to about them to people outside the family she says my Grandma or Grandpa. So it's like she knows the titles are just for our family. We never said anything, she just knows.

[teresah00]

The grandparents picked what they wanted to be called.
My parents are granny (didn't care for the choice, reminds me of a 90 yo) and G. Pop. Sometimes my 5 yo calls him G.P.
my ILs were going to be Grandmom and Grandpop. My nephew called her MeMom and its stuck.

Growing up my cousin called both grandmoms Grandmom. One was red Grandmom the other green.


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[queenmama]

It does seem kind of funny going by something foreign or ethnic when you don't speak that language, but then I remembered that I would love to be Lola & Papi like my maternal grandparents (she was Filipino, he was an "Okie!" ). I just don't want to be Grandma & Grandpa or Nana & Papa because they're so common and I hate being common! ;)

DH's paternal gram is Grandmother, her choice, despite growing up on the river and picking cotton in Depression-era Arkansas and being as far from a stuffy "Grandmother"-type as you could possibly imagine!

My mom & dad go by Grandma & Papa, though my DN called her Momo (like mom-oh) when she was little. DN's other grandparents go by the same names so it is all too confusing and you have to say "Grandma Linda" or "Grandma J" to differentiate.

ILs are Grammy & Pappy, I think the oldest grandkid came up with those.


Lara

[MelissaTC]

My Dad wanted to be called Abuelo and my Mom, Nana. Instead, M calls them Bo and Yaya. They love it.

[TxCat]

My ILs wanted to be called Pa and Mutti (German for "mommy" essentially). My MIL's ancestry is German on the paternal side, but going back 3-4 generations. This caused a liitle tension when my mother was choosing her name because she grew up in Austria, German is practically her native language and she originally wanted to be called Mutti. My mother eventually settled for Meme (can't type accents, but French diminutive for grandmother, pronounced "maymay"), although she has no Fench ancestry (but my father, her ex-husband, does, which justified it in her mind :confused:). My dad goes by Grandad, and his wife is known as Grandma Sarah. So far DD has done great using all of their chosen names.

[queenmama]

My Dad wanted to be called Abuelo and my Mom, Nana. Instead, M calls them Bo and Yaya. They love it.

I can see why! They're adorable names!

Lara

[karstmama]

my mama, for whatever reason, wanted to be called juju (her first name is judy). and he does, but she forgot that the 'd' sound comes before the 'j' sound, so he spent several months calling her doodoo & she answered cheerfully. :)

daddy & his wife go by gammama & ganddaddy.

[cvanbrunt]

My dad is Popum. My oldest just started calling him that instead of Grandpa one day and he loves it. When he got married after my mom died I asked his wife (I'm too old to have a step mother) what she wanted the girls to call her and she asked me to pick. I went with Grandma (she's the only Grandma they've known) and she was just over the moon.

[crl]

Yes. My brother's kids call my dad Pop Pop because that's what my SIL says. But my dad doesn't like it. When we adopted I asked both sides what they wanted to be called. And we have taught the kids to say those names. My niece asked me once why we say Grandpa and I told her, because we asked and that's what he said he wanted to be called.

I feel pretty strongly about calling people by the names they prefer.

Catherine

[Ceepa]

MIL has been pushing for all the grandchildren to call her a version of Grandma. My kids and the cousins call her Grandma. She pushes ahead and refers to herself and signs cards with her preferred nickname with the odd spelling. It's weird. No one calls her the name except for herself. My parents and FIL go by Grandma and Grandpa.

[123LuckyMom]

I definitely think you should respect their wishes as to what they want the children to call them and that you should require your children to respect their wishes as well. My mother wanted to be "Gran", so that's what she is. My dad passed away before the children were born. I think he would have liked to be Grandaddy, but my mother decided he should be Papa his first name, which I hate, but whatever. I abide by her wishes. DH's parents are gone. DH calls them Grandma first name and Grandpa first name. I let that be his choice. It may seem stilted to you that they want French names, but if that's what they want, it's their names.

[YouAreTheFocus]

DS calls his grandparents the names that they picked, and I have mixed feelings about it. It ended up so he doesn't call anyone grandma or grandpa, and I kinda wish he did (silly, I know!).

The hardest is that my Mom picked the name Meme for herself. It is what I called my grandmother. However, I don't think any of us will ever get used to hearing DS say it. My grandmother was definitely a matriarch type, she was the glue of the family, and we are all still in pain from her passing a few yrs ago.

Over Xmas we were with my Mom, we were riding in the car and DS was singing us all the songs he knows. He sang "you are my sunshine." Then he got the great idea to put people's names in it. We all sat there frozen knowing what was coming. "You are my Meme, my only Meme....please don't take my Meme away." We were all wrecked, tears streaming down our faces.

I wish she had gone with Grandma :(

[PunkyBoo]

My kids are both much youngrr than most of their cousins so the grandparents names were already well established when they came along so there's no isdue with them using thd names requested. So my kids have an Abuelita, an Abuelito, a Nonnie, a Poppa, and a FirstName ( my step mom who has been with my dad for about 15 years but they just got married when I was pregnant with Boo.) When Punkin was in Kindergarten they had a project about grandparents and he had NO CLUE what "grandparents" were. His teacher said "you know, you grandma and grandpa" and he said he didn't have any of those!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Not completely. both grandmas wanted to be grandma. MIL wanted to be Grandma FirstName. My mom wanted to just be Grandma. That worked for a while but now ds2 calls both of them Grandma FirstName (the correct names). My mom hates it. She has a rule that you have to be 18 to call an adult by their first name.

[maiaann]

My FIL insists on being Granddad instead of Grandpa. He's SO insistive that it annoys me to the point where if the kids call him Grandpa, I don't correct them. ;)

[KLD313]

I called my moms parents grandma and grandpa so my mom wants to be called grandma. It bothers me and idk why. I just picture my grandma and it feels wrong. I can't even bring myself to say grandmas coming over or whatever, weird. My dad passed away before my kids but my mom refers to him as grandpa. My BF's dad is Pop Pop, that was well established by the other grandchildren so we go with that. The other grandchildren call my BF's step mom by er first name which I think is disrespectful. Sonce my kids are little and don't call anyone anything yet I asked her what she wanted them to call her and she didn't really have an answer. So, I guess she will be called her first name.

[daniele_ut]

My FIL has the other grandkids call him Grampy and I can NOT stand that name. My kids call him grandpa. They call my mother grandma and so do all of her other grandchildren.

[queenmama]

The hardest is that my Mom picked the name Meme for herself. It is what I called my grandmother. However, I don't think any of us will ever get used to hearing DS say it. My grandmother was definitely a matriarch type, she was the glue of the family, and we are all still in pain from her passing a few yrs ago.

Over Xmas we were with my Mom, we were riding in the car and DS was singing us all the songs he knows. He sang "you are my sunshine." Then he got the great idea to put people's names in it. We all sat there frozen knowing what was coming. "You are my Meme, my only Meme....please don't take my Meme away." We were all wrecked, tears streaming down our faces.

I wish she had gone with Grandma :(

Yeah, my mom is trying to push Gigi on my niece's 16mo and we're not having it. Gigi was HER mom (my grandma) to the little ones, and my mom definitely doesn't deserve the title. We always correct her, but she's the stubborn type so she hasn't given up.

Lara

[Multimama]

My parents picked the same names that we called their parents, so my mom has the same name that we called her mom and my dad has the same name that we called his dad. I admit it felt a bit weird to me at first, especially because my mom's mom died when I was very young so it didn't feel like the name of a living person to me. But it was important to her and I strongly believe that it is their choice what they are named and it is my responsibility to model it for my kids so that they will call them that name. I get more used to the names all the time.

You know, it's funny though because my parents *don't* call me and DH what our kids call us and neither does anyone else on my side of the family. I think it should work both ways and I would really appreciate it if they would call us what we choose to be called.

[infocrazy]

My mom and MIL are both Grandma Firstname. We see MIL a lot more, so we typically just call her Grandma and my mom (out of state) is Grandma Firstname when we differentiate. FIL is deceased and we refer to him as Grandpa Firstname.

My dad wants to be called Papa. Fine. He initially suggested just his Firstname. :rolleye0014: I told him to pick something different. This is the same guy who said his favorite picture of DS1 is when he (my dad) and his wife were holding DS1 on the couch when he was 5 months old....because they look like the parents... He has a problem with his increasing age...ps, he was 27 when I was born and I was 29 when DS1 was born...he is of well appropriate grandparent age. His wife wants to be called by a nickname like GiGi. He refers to her to them as firstname.

PS, a coworker's grandson calls her Glam-ma. So funny and so appropriate. She is a very trendy (in a good way) Grandma so it is very fitting.

[Pyrodjm]

When I was pregnant with D1 my mom had some silly title that she had heard somewhere and told me thats what she wanted to be called. A year later when DD1 started talking she was avoiding my mom like the plague. My mother is very bubbly, affectionate, loud and scary to my infants. Neither would let my mom hold them with screaming their heads off until around 18 months, then they quickly fell in love with her. By the time DD1 was willing to speak to and address her, she was willing to take whatever she could get, lol. She is "Grandma" and my dad is "Poppa". Which is what I call my dad's parents and what I encouraged the kids to call them.

My MIL lives with us and named herself "Gaga" right away. It was easy to say and stuck. FIL is only around sporadically. He is called "Grandpa Eddy" or just "Eddy" by DD2, which he loves and I'm trying to stop.

[KrisM]

My parents are Grammy and Gramps, which I think makes my dad sound really old. He had just turned 50 when he became a grandparent, so I really did not think it fit well. But, it's grown on me over the years (14 now), so that's what they are for my kids.

My MIL is grandma. My FIL would be grandpa, but he passed away in 2006. Now, he's Dad's dad. We only see MIL 1-2 days a year, so there isn't a big connection with her and grandpa.

[Clarity]

No, my dad and step are called Pap and MeMaw by my s-sister's kids. I think that makes them sound like they're hill people or something and I refuse to call them by those names, they are Grandpa and Grandma first name. My mother is Grammy first initial and her dh is Papou. Mil is Grandma first name, and then the Greats all have special names.

[niccig]

DNeice is oldest grandchild and she named MIL as Mimi and FIL as Bubba. No one knows why, but that's what all the grandkids call them now.

My parents choose their names. My mum wanted Granny, which I thought sounded old, but that's what she wanted. My Dad was going to be Gramps, but my Dad used to be known as Grumble Bum (when we were tweens), so it got changed to Grumps.