How common is this problem? Unbearable reaction to movies.....

[wellyes]

I think most people have had a "OMG I want to cover my eyes" reaction to something they seen in a movie or on TV.

DD (4) takes it to a new level. In the middle of watching a show or movie, she will yell "NO! NO I can't!" and run away, hide her face, and in general spazz out. This is to normal plot points in very innocent shows like PBS Kids. She must have flipped out 8-9 times trying to watch the movie Cars.

This week, at an event we were at, a speaker was telling a story, and when it reached a moment of tension DD jumped on my lap and covered her ears while yelling out. It was the first time I'd seen that in real life.

I am not sure what to do about it. I am glad she is so able to immerse herself, but at the same time, it seems like such an extreme reaction to me. So I am wondering if anyone else has BTDT.

[sarahsthreads]

DD2 is very much like this. She doesn't react to what I would typically think would be the scary, tense moments in shows and movies. But when characters do something they shouldn't do (which is most PBS shows - you know, the "do something wrong, feel remorse and/or get in trouble, apologize for it" plot most of those shows have going on) she flips out and runs out of the room saying she doesn't want to watch this show anymore.

Along the same lines, she's also super empathetic. If a TV or movie character is sad, she weeps. She's like this with people, too. She's very good at reading the moods of people around her and knowing exactly the right thing to say or do to make people feel better. I honestly don't know where she gets this, but it's a fabulous personality trait that I hope she keeps forever. :)

Sarah

[♥ms.pacman♥]

DS (newly 3) does something very similar. For him its whenever an engine gets hurt or broken, he gets very upset and says something like "I don't want Hiro to break!!" and runs out of the room or says he doesn't want to watch it anymore. It bothers him to the point that he will mention it like 3 or 4 days later, saying "Hiro broke a little bit once. I didn't want to see Hiro break. " Or when i go to put on a Thomas show he says, worriedly "I don't want to watch the one where Hiro breaks!"

And while he LOVED the Polar Express (i think we saw it like 3-4 times) he always got really scared of the scenes where the train is going really fast and goes on the ice. He got scared more the 2nd time he watched it bc he knew what was going to happen. For him i think what gets him is knowing that something "bad" is going to happen, and not being able to do anything about it.

I should add that DS is a somewhat anxious kid in general. He rarely acts out or throws tantrums, though he does cry and worry a lot when he is scared of something. We mentioned getting his haircut today and he was like "Noo! I dont' want to get my haircut! I am scared of the buzzing thing!" and seemed quite bothered by it.

[sste]

Wellyes don't want to upset you here but I read somewhere that hypersensitivity to tv characters being embarrassed or sad is a predictor of later deppression. Which of course does not mean it will happen. Just a risk factor and another good reason for your foresight in consulting with a therapist iirc. This stuck in my mind because I used to do this as a child. Fwiw I not depressed today though I am a bit hothouse and I deliberately chose an ivory tower job setting and a sweet dh! So don't panic. Sensitivity is a strength too.

[squimp]

My mother was like this. She is really sensitive and would cry at so many books. She couldn't watch the Wizard of Oz with us as kids. She has never had an issue with depression.

I think it's just a characteristic. I also know a few kids who are like this but it may have stopped by age 4. My DD is somewhat sensitive to these things, she will put her hands over her ears when something is scary or disturbing. We have always had to think hard about which movies to see, etc. One of her BFFs is like that too.

[fivi2]

Mine have always done it and still do at age 7. We can't watch much tv (they will still watch MM Clubhouse, Doc McStuff and Jake/Nland pirates). We can also do shows like "How It's Made" and "Factory Made".

But movies - we haven't made it through many at all. (Cars was a bad one for us). They freak out at books and plays to some extent, but not as much as movies/tv. I haven't encountered it with a speaker - no clue what they would do.

[cvanbrunt]

My now 7 year old reacted like that. Totally went into full freak-out mode at a Winnie the Pooh movie when she was 5 or 6. She outgrew it. She's still sensitive but she just leaves the room.

ETA: She also still finds The Backyardigans to be too much sometimes. One of the characters was ghost pirate and she still talks about that. I don't think what you are describing is unusual.

[mypa]

Mine have always done it and still do at age 7. We can't watch much tv (they will still watch MM Clubhouse, Doc McStuff and Jake/Nland pirates). We can also do shows like "How It's Made" and "Factory Made".

But movies - we haven't made it through many at all. (Cars was a bad one for us). They freak out at books and plays to some extent, but not as much as movies/tv. I haven't encountered it with a speaker - no clue what they would do.

This for us, too.

To this day my kids have not watched one single Disney movie all the way through. They do not like the "bad" guys or watching the "good" guys get into some peril.

[kristac]

Still dealing with this with my 8 and 5.5 year olds. "Tension" or suspense in movies sends them fleeing the room. But they can watch spiderman/ power rangers/ fighting etc without an issue.

[wellyes]

I am relieved to hear that this isn't all that odd. My husband is alarmed by it -- he gets it, but finds the frequency she experiences it over the top. Honestly, I think she is a tiny bit sick and overtired this week, and that exaggerates the problem.

I appreciate the feedback, thanks to all who replied.

[Pinky]

My DD is almost 3 and acts similarly. Especially with things like caillou getting scared during the night or because of a storm. We have never watched a full Disney movie, only short happy snippets.

We have friends with kids who can watch about anything at a young age but they were exposed to all sorts of tv at an early age. We just started tv when she turned 2 and are pretty careful with what she watches still.

[LMPC]

DD is very much like this...she will often yell "turn it off!" when Swiper (from Dora) or the "bad guys" from Martha Speaks are in an episode. At first I turned it off but then I realized it was just reinforcing a reaction to something that was very safe (a cartoon). So while I'm always in the room while she watches TV, now we watch the "scary" parts together and talk about how the cartoons are made by computers, can't hurt her, and how it's all going to turn out fine in the end (will have to come up with something different the day she decides to watch Old Yeller!). She's a talker and so we talk about it...it's seemed to help her process her feelings and she has recently started reacting less severely to new bad guys. But to answer your question, I think it's totally normal for a kid with your DD's temperament, as you have described it in the past.

[inmypjs]

My DS8 is very sensitive to TV and movies. He really identifies with characters' emotions and seems more prone to absorbing other people's emotions in general. It's gotten a little easier to manage as he's gotten older, because he recognizes his sensitivity and we are often able to talk about the show and what it's about so he can decide if he wants to watch it.

[wendibird22]

Both 5yo and 3yo DDs are like this. We only watch Disney Jr and PBS Kids. Anything else is too intense and honestly even some Octonauts and things get too intense for them. Even things they've seen several times like Cinderella they'll freak out when the cat is chasing the mice. Both of them will stand up, start running in place almost, waving their hands, cry or say Oh oh oh. I keep hoping they will go out of it soon.

[brittone2]

We don't do a lot of media, and both of my kids have been like this. DS1 can now handle things *much* better than he could in the past, although we don't do things like Star Wars movies, etc. yet that many people would consider benign. I think sometimes that maybe because they didn't watch a lot of stuff when they were younger, and don't watch a lot of TV, combined with their personalities, they are kind of sensitive to stuff. DS1 did not like too scary of content in books, etc. although now he can handle all of that just fine and in an age appropriate way.

DD can not deal with anything super suspenseful or anything dealing with animals where they suffer or are extremely sad, etc. She is not as sensitive to things as DS1 was at that age, but movies are definitely a sensitive thing.

My DS1 outgrew a lot of those types of sensitivities. He has always been a little anxious at times, etc. but in his case, he really managed to do fine with those things as he matured. DD is still sensitive to media, etc. but she is not anxious in any other ways, so I don't worry about it. If there was an underlying theme of anxiety other than movies, I'd be more concerned.

eta: I know in the past some people feel you shouldn't avoid or "shelter" your kids from upsetting movies; I personally disagree for my own family. My kids can handle intense themes in books, etc. much better, although we've had to navigate through those with some care over the years. For ex, we are reading the AG books right now as part of our co-op, and I've only mentioned slavery, etc. to DD in a very abstract way in the past. We just finished the Addie books, and she was crying about those. I have no issue with that.
I personally have never enjoyed horror movies, and once I became a mom I just found my tolerance for deeply suspenseful and upsetting themes to be much lower. I simply don't enjoy that at this point in my life. I think that's okay, you know? Same for my kids. They just don't seem to "enjoy" the really deeply suspenseful or scarier themes. They certainly aren't shielded from life's unpleasant themes and moments in other ways, but forcing them to watch movies they don't enjoy...eh, not my thing. I realize socially it can be an issue as they get older, but for my kids, I've seen their tolerance kind of naturally increase with age and maturity. That said, if a kid is really anxious in many other ways, I'd keep a more watchful eye on their behavior.

[sarahsthreads]

eta: I know in the past some people feel you shouldn't avoid or "shelter" your kids from upsetting movies; I personally disagree for my own family. My kids can handle intense themes in books, etc. much better, although we've had to navigate through those with some care over the years. For ex, we are reading the AG books right now as part of our co-op, and I've only mentioned slavery, etc. to DD in a very abstract way in the past. We just finished the Addie books, and she was crying about those. I have no issue with that.
I personally have never enjoyed horror movies, and once I became a mom I just found my tolerance for deeply suspenseful and upsetting themes to be much lower. I simply don't enjoy that at this point in my life. I think that's okay, you know? Same for my kids. They just don't seem to "enjoy" the really deeply suspenseful or scarier themes. They certainly aren't shielded from life's unpleasant themes and moments in other ways, but forcing them to watch movies they don't enjoy...eh, not my thing. I realize socially it can be an issue as they get older, but for my kids, I've seen their tolerance kind of naturally increase with age and maturity. That said, if a kid is really anxious in many other ways, I'd keep a more watchful eye on their behavior.

I agree with this. I get a lot of grief about "sheltering" DD1 from "harmless" movies. Well, here's the thing. Unless you're going to come over and deal with the fallout of nightmares and anxiety, you get no say in what media my child consumes. :shrug:

DD1 (8) has definitely started to outgrow this type of sensitivity. She asked to watch Ghostbusters because other kids in her class had and she thought it sounded like a fun movie. Since she stays up for NYE and DD2 doesn't, we got it from the library and let her watch it. Now, I will admit to having forgotten how much bad language was in there, and there were some...er...adult situations I had also forgotten about. (To be fair, my recollection is the "sanitized for cable and cut for commercials" version.) So it may not have been 100% appropriate in those aspects, but the scary/tense things? Didn't phase her in the least. A year ago she would never have even gotten through the first scene in the library. She was 7 before I let her watch Annie, because parent/child separation was one of her emotional triggers, and seeing a whole orphanage full of kids with no parents was not going to go well before then.

I honestly don't think sensitivity to or empathy for TV (or book) characters is an issue in and of itself. I'll admit to crying over well-written books on a regular basis. Movies and TV shows too, though I tend not to be as invested in those. I'm not an anxious or depressed person, and generally feel that I'm quite well equipped to deal with the things life throws at me.

Sarah :)