birthday party question

[Sweetum]

DS turned 4 and we are having a late birthday party. We are having a low key party with mostly people we and he knows and are trying to keep the numbers low. He doesn't do very well in large groups and we have a small house. I am thinking of inviting a kid from his preschool. There are a total of 6 kids in his class. However I am thinking of inviting only one kid from that group since we have recently had a playdate with them and the mom and I gelled and I want to encourage DS to develop a friendship with one child at a time. Am I breaking a golden rule of etiquette. To add to the dilemma is the fact that DS has been invited to the party of another kid from the preschool group and we accepted. I also sought the mom's advice on some things today and she was nice and very helpful. However, I don't know the dynamics between DS and this child (the one with the party). Should I drop the original friend from the party invite? or should I invite the entire group? FWIW the other child is having his party at a big party place. If inviting the entire group, then I need to drop others from the original party. We really don't have the space for 12 children and their parents. We do intend to invite parents since some of them are our friends and we were hoping to make the event to get to know some others better. Please advice.

[cntrymoon2]

I ran into the same problem one year. I opted to make the party family only and not risk offending any friends/acquaintances.

[klwa]

If you can invite the child without dropping the invite off at the preschool, then I think that you're fine inviting just the one. If you have to bring the invite to preschool, then no.

[Momit]

If you can invite the child without dropping the invite off at the preschool, then I think that you're fine inviting just the one. If you have to bring the invite to preschool, then no.

This is our preschool's policy too. You can only pass out invites at school if there's one for everyone. I think I would invite both of the kids you mentioned - really the only way to not invite the one whose party you're going to is if your party is family only. If you invite one kid from class you should invite the second kid too IMO.

ETA we invited the entire class for DS's birthday but the only ones who came are the ones we know well and have done play dates etc. with. So if you do end up feeling you should invite everyone they may not all come.

[SnuggleBuggles]

We've just invited 1 person from preschool before. We told them that they were the only ones we were inviting bc it was a small party; that way they wouldn't bring it up to other families. Worked fine b. eta. I sent invites via mail.

[Sweetum]

Thank you all. I think we could handle one more child (the one who invited us). And thinking a bit more, it probably is a good idea then the 2 moms who already know each other won't get too bored. I will probably do that and let them know that it's just the 2 kids since we are keeping it small. I won't be dropping off the invites at preschool. I am doing an evite, so just email. Again, thank you all, that was helpful.