Don't touch me!

[crayonblue]

How would you feel if an adult male (not your husband) sneaked up behind you, stuck his hand under your arm and tried to tickle you? I said to him, "Do NOT EVER do that to me again" and he slunk off.

This is NOT someone who should EVER feel like that would be even remotely in the realm of OK with me. It is someone I have to see on a regular basis but wish I didn't.

I felt like my personal boundaries and space were invaded, that I was disrespected and that this person feels he can take WAY too many liberties with me.

Am I over-reacting?

P.S. Without a doubt this person has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and has NO boundaries. Anything else I should have said/done?

[MamaMolly]

Yuck. I don't know what else you could have done...maybe yell? Bring the attention of others to it? Embarrass him?

But I don't think you are over reacting. He sounds like a real piece of work. :(

[DietCokeLover]

Doesn't sound like an over reaction to me. It was completely inappropriate for him to touch you in that familiar of a way. I think you handled it well and with class.

[ett]

You are not over reacting. That is not appropriate at all.

[twowhat?]

Yeah, agree with PPs, and I'd actually document it (was this at work?). I wouldn't necessarily report it, but definitely have it documented.

[123LuckyMom]

Extremely inappropriate!!!! (His behavior, not yours.)

[DrSally]

Horrible! I'm glad you emphatically said something!

[Liziz]

Whoa, terrible -- absolutely not overreacting. (And if it was at work, I absolutely would report it, too)

[crayonblue]

Thanks. Makes me feel better that I'm not just over-reacting. No, not at work. Ugh, I feel icky. If I feel like this after an attempted tickle (OK, just typing that looks silly!) then, I really, really feel for women who are victims of actual crimes. :(

[DrSally]

Thanks. Makes me feel better that I'm not just over-reacting. No, not at work. Ugh, I feel icky. If I feel like this after an attempted tickle (OK, just typing that looks silly!) then, I really, really feel for women who are victims of actual crimes. :(

Well, I've had that experience before when younger, and it seems to be a surreptitious way to " cop a feel". So, no, not " nothing" at all.

[StantonHyde]

Those types of people need SOLID boundaries set in a firm way. Otherwise, they don't get it!!

[pb&j]

I'm amazed you were so restrained. I would have gone all self-defense on him and done the old knee-to-groin, palm-to-face while shouting "NO NO NO!"

[alexsmommy]

I can't imagine any male in my world who would think this was ok. At its most "innocent" it is flirting, and given that I wear a wedding ring, there should never be any confusion that it is ok to flirt with me.
Ick. You were right to set very clear, firm boundaries, and do not back down.

[Melaine]

Yuck. What a jerk.

[jgenie]

Not overreacting in my book. I'm sorry you have to continue to see this person.

[glbb35]

You are not overreacting! I had a boss who always thought it was "just fun" when he would make inappropriate comments and physical gestures. He often did this in front of his wife who worked in the office! Other office people (women) would just say "oh, that is how he is" WTF? He was European, eastern they would say and that was the excuse. Once in the car he put his hand on my knee. He was telling me at the same time that his wife had miscarried their baby and that was why she wasn't around much. He was mad that she "couldn't get over it" as it had happened a week before (she was 16 weeks) . I slid his hand back to the gear shift and told him "my husband would be crushed if we were ever in that situation (miscarrying) and that it is a big deal along with inappropriate office workers". I then mentioned that my husbands two room mates from college were local cops and another worked for the FBI. He never again smacked me on the butt or made comments about my body again. I left shortly after.

Gross! We have a friendly friend who often hugs but he hugs everyone men, women etc. I truly believe it is in his nature. Anything else though would warrant a "I am not comfortable with this".

B

DS 03, 06, twins 09, 11

[TwinFoxes]

You are not over reacting. That is not appropriate at all.


Well, I've had that experience before when younger, and it seems to be a surreptitious way to " cop a feel". So, no, not " nothing" at all.

:yeahthat: To both.

[infomama]

What a jerk. I'm glad you yelled at him. He totally deserved to be kneed in the groin...hard.

[crayonblue]

You are not overreacting! I had a boss who always thought it was "just fun" when he would make inappropriate comments and physical gestures. He often did this in front of his wife who worked in the office! Other office people (women) would just say "oh, that is how he is" WTF? He was European, eastern they would say and that was the excuse. Once in the car he put his hand on my knee. He was telling me at the same time that his wife had miscarried their baby and that was why she wasn't around much. He was mad that she "couldn't get over it" as it had happened a week before (she was 16 weeks) . I slid his hand back to the gear shift and told him "my husband would be crushed if we were ever in that situation (miscarrying) and that it is a big deal along with inappropriate office workers". I then mentioned that my husbands two room mates from college were local cops and another worked for the FBI. He never again smacked me on the butt or made comments about my body again. I left shortly after.

Gross! We have a friendly friend who often hugs but he hugs everyone men, women etc. I truly believe it is in his nature. Anything else though would warrant a "I am not comfortable with this".

B

DS 03, 06, twins 09, 11

EXACTLY! I've heard lots of "well, this is just how he is". You know what? He can just stop being "just how he is"!

[crayonblue]

Those types of people need SOLID boundaries set in a firm way. Otherwise, they don't get it!!

I have SO MANY people in my life right now who need solid boundaries. It is exhausting!

[jacksmomtobe]

If people keep accepting his behavior as "it is just the way he is" then the behavior will continue and more people will continue to feel uncomfortable about his inappropriate behavior. Good for you for letting him know that what he did to you is not ok. It is not funny or amusing but inappropriate. Sorry so many people are crossing boundaries in your life & draining your energy.

[BabbyO]

Ummm...I'm so sorry for you...and frankly stunned. That is creepy. There are only 3 men in my life that can get away with that; DH and my two boys (and it won't be ok for two of them before they are 18).

You are right to have said something.

[Ceepa]

Ick! He had no business touching your body. You did not overreact.

[janine]

Creepy and no you are not overreacting. Don't some molestors start by tickling..NOT saying this is in that realm, but to me tickling by adults to someone who is not inviting it or responding positively is just gross and creepy.

I am someone who is very conscious of my personal space though, I would have very seriously said DO NOT DO THAT. STOP.

I don't know that I'd want to hang around this person but sounds like it is a long time friend or acquaintance.

[maestramommy]

JEEBUS! YIKES!

For some reason I read it wrong and thought it was your DH, so confused. NO ONE BUT MY DH has a right to touch me there, in that way. EVER.

Good for you for reaming him. I'd be so very tempted to belt him at the same time.