My sister is an idiot

[niccig]

DH and I both told her to be careful re. some serious legal issues. We know about it as we've gone through it before and DH got very particular legal advice so we could avoid any problems. She just went off and did something that has a very high chance of biting her in the ass. I mentioned something and she said "oh, I didn't know that could be a problem." You knew, both DH and I told you several times. She also did something similar in very similar situation a few years ago and it did come back to bite her. You think she would learn from that.

When the sh$te hits the fan, I do not want any phone calls.

[hillview]

that sucks. I am so sorry. Sigh. Family.

[crl]

Siblings can be so annoying.

Catherine

[niccig]

To make it worse, she's going to do something that will compound the problem. I asked DH if I should call her and tell her again it could be a problem and to talk to a lawyer before she does it (plans to do it tomorrow). He said "you've already told her that and she thinks it'll be fine. We've told her this before. She's not listening." Gah...it could be HUGE mistake.

[LizLemon]

SoCal must be different. I have headstrong siblings who do stupid things at times but it is not fraught with as much legal drama or intrigue! ;)

[kara97210]

Yuck, I'm sorry. Some people have to make the same mistake a couple of times to get it. I have a brother like this.

[LizLemon]

Yuck, I'm sorry. Some people have to make the same mistake a couple of times to get it. I have a brother like this.

My brother does this too. It seems to stem from this extreme self-confidence and always thinking he is right and knows better than other people. I don't know how his wife puts up with it. He has a classic in the works now, so we'll see...

[niccig]

SoCal must be different. I have headstrong siblings who do stupid things at times but it is not fraught with as much legal drama or intrigue! ;)

Sorry, didn't mean to be cryptic, it is a public forum so I can't feel like I can go into detail. But I had to vent that she is an idiot. And I will want to tell her "I told you so" when sh$te hits the fan. I won't have to sort it out thankfully.

[niccig]

My brother does this too. It seems to stem from this extreme self-confidence and always thinking he is right and knows better than other people. I don't know how his wife puts up with it. He has a classic in the works now, so we'll see...

:yeahthat: it's "I know better than you" attitude. No, we've gone through it, we know. I can also google and get pretty good answer to why you shouldn't do what you're doing. Her answer is "I'll just explain..." and I told her that she has no idea who she is dealing with and "explaining" won't get you anywhere when screw up legally....sigh...

Ok...trying to let it go...it's not my life nor my mess...

[georgiegirl]

Ugh! I feel for you. My sister has made bad choices (mostly financial) that have come back to haunt her, even though I repeatedly told her it was a bad idea...then she gets upset that no one tried to talk her out of it when she has to pay the consequences. It's frustrating!

[niccig]

I couldn't let it go. I know it's interfering, but because the consequences could be life-changing, I had to tell her to check with a lawyer. I emailed late last night and called her first thing this morning.

She still thinks she's fine, but I found some things online that I quoted to her and she said she'll talk to a lawyer today. I don't know if she actually will or if she'll just go ahead and thinks she knows better than anyone else. If she does go ahead, I tried. If the lawyer gives advice similar to what I found last night, and she ignores it, I tried. If the the lawyer give similar advice and she actually listens and does it right, disaster adverted.

[MamaMolly]

I couldn't let it go. I know it's interfering, but because the consequences could be life-changing, I had to tell her to check with a lawyer. I emailed late last night and called her first thing this morning.

She still thinks she's fine, but I found some things online that I quoted to her and she said she'll talk to a lawyer today. I don't know if she actually will or if she'll just go ahead and thinks she knows better than anyone else. If she does go ahead, I tried. If the lawyer gives advice similar to what I found last night, and she ignores it, I tried. If the the lawyer give similar advice and she actually listens and does it right, disaster adverted.

You've done what you could. Acting like a grown up instead of pretending to be one is up to her now. I'm sorry you are having to beat your head on this wall!!

If it is any comfort, my DAD just made a smart financial decision after holding on to a piece of property for waaaaayyyyy too long. I'm talking YEARS too long. So people can come to their senses. It just takes some of them longer than others.

[belovedgandp]

Ah, you did what you could. DH has several siblings who truly do not think the rules of the world apply to them. That if they explain themselves or however justify their perceived completely unique situation then the rules should be different.

[hellokitty]

You have my sympathy. I hate it when certain family members continue to make poor decisions, EVEN when they are warned by other family members to NOT do it. The worst part is having to dig them out and then even worse, if you say, "I told you so," they actually have the audacity to get pissed.

[niccig]

She did talk with a lawyer and I am right. If she went ahead as planned, she was going to open herself and her DH up to a whole pile of steaming mess with Homeland Security (it's immigration related). Not a govt. department you want to mess with. Lawyer convinced them to change plans, no laws were broken and as long as they do what lawyer says, they will be fine. She's now convinced they need a lawyer despite expense (I've been telling her for ages to get one, DH and I went through immigration process when we got married so know process and I was a law librarian so I studied up on immigration law 101).

The consequence/"I told you so" is that in changing plans, she now has a huge financial/job mess to sort out and the repercussions of that will hurt. If she had seen a lawyer from day 1 (as I was telling her to do), things could have been planned so that no mess anywhere, but she didn't, so this is now the price she has to pay. It is a lesser price than huge disaster if she had gone ahead with plans.


Ah, you did what you could. DH has several siblings who truly do not think the rules of the world apply to them. That if they explain themselves or however justify their perceived completely unique situation then the rules should be different.

It is a combination of this and just not thinking. For a smart person, she is so dense about how the world works.


You have my sympathy. I hate it when certain family members continue to make poor decisions, EVEN when they are warned by other family members to NOT do it. The worst part is having to dig them out and then even worse, if you say, "I told you so," they actually have the audacity to get pissed.

Yes, she got pissed off on the phone with me when I asked "why didn't you go see someone and check if you could do what you planned?" She did admit to making a mistake. Oh and no "thank you" for saving her butt, she's too mad that her plans are all screwed up. I suppose I'm the messenger that gets shot for delivering the message.

[crl]

Well, I'm glad you saved her. Immigration is nothing to mess around with. The US immigration officials are not a forgiving lot.

Catherine

[niccig]

Well, I'm glad you saved her. Immigration is nothing to mess around with. The US immigration officials are not a forgiving lot.

Catherine

No they are not. You do exactly what you are told and don't deviate from that. Immigration is so complex you have to get advice from a lawyer as everyone's situation is different. It will all work out for her now as long as she does what lawyer says and doesn't go off assuming something again.