Daycare Room Demotion for Potty Regression

[AshleyAnn]

DD is 3 and potty trained just over a month ago. She was promoted the the K-3, all potty trained class the second she showed signs of potty training because she is academically advanced and a big girl for her age.

She's doing great at home, no potty accidents in weeks and was doing pretty well at daycare (accident two maybe three times a week) until the past few days. She's quit using the potty there and had 3 accidents a day on Friday, Monday and Tuesday. Daycare told my mom (she does pick up) that they want to return her to the K-2 class for a month. I really feel like this is a disservice to DD both socially and academically. She's very happy about being in K-3 and does NOT want to go to K-2, I'm happy with her in K-3. Its obvious she can do it, she's done it for weeks.

Would you allow them to demote your child after promotion? Would this be enough for you to consider demotion or would you push for more time for it to 'click'. Is there any other possible solution - I'm going to suggest they allow her to start her days in K-3 and then if she wets herself she gets taken down to K-2, other ideas?

FYI - She's just recently started having weekend visitation with her Dad and had her 3rd visit last weekend, I'm sure this is a stressor for her. Prior to going to court he only had her a few hours at a time once or twice a month now its full weekends. He puts her in a pullup because he's a moron and doesnt want to deal with potty training. Unfortunately this is all out of my control

I really hate this - DD is so happy in K-3 and I just know mornings are not going to go well if I have to get her past the K-3 door and into K-2 (its the last room on the hallway, K-3 is the first door)

[sariana]

If you're willing to share the extenuating circumstances with the daycare team, I think that would be a good idea. Your DD does not need to feel "punished" for her accidents.

Potty issues and preschool are so frustrating! It puts way too much stress on kids.

It definitely sounds as though your DD is reacting to the changes at home. Hopefully the daycare will understand that and will be able to accommodate her needs for a little while.

Are you able to refuse the change? How much control do you have over her placement?

[swrc00]

I know that DS regressed when he moved to another room. Bathroom time wasn't quite as structured. He had to transition to everyone going at certain times to going when he needed to go.
She is experiencing a lot of transitions. Moving her back is not going to help her adjust at all. I would give it time.

[brittone2]

I can't speak to the daycare angle, but my DS2 tends to only have accidents when he's constipated. As soon as he gets 1-2 good poops out, he's back to no accidents at all. It is like our barometer...he's been PT'd for almost a year, but any time he gets backed up, the pee accidents start. A

DS1 started withholding as a 15 month old toddler after we went through a major move. I think he didn't want to poop in the new house (he was still in diapers obviously). That started a lengthy cycle of withholding because he had a huge, painful poop. I do think emotional upheaval and stress can cause some issues.

Is there any difference in staffing that might make it tougher for them to deal with toddler accidents?

[YouAreTheFocus]

I totally agree with the PPs. This situation makes me sad for you and DD! She should not be punished for having accidents. It is all part of the learning process. If they have no tolerance for accidents in this K-3 room then they need to only promote kids who've been PT'd for 6 mos or something.

I would do all I could to keep her in K-3 now that she is there. I think demoting her would send her a bad message, and wouldn't help her in moving forward through everything.

I have also struggled with these "all or nothing" daycare rules. It can be very difficult when they don't consider the whole child.

[SoCalMommy]

I totally agree with the PPs. This situation makes me sad for you and DD! She should not be punished for having accidents. It is all part of the learning process. If they have no tolerance for accidents in this K-3 room then they need to only promote kids who've been PT'd for 6 mos or something.

I would do all I could to keep her in K-3 now that she is there. I think demoting her would send her a bad message, and wouldn't help her in moving forward through everything.

I have also struggled with these "all or nothing" daycare rules. It can be very difficult when they don't consider the whole child.

:yeahthat:

[twowhat?]

I totally agree with sharing your extenuating cirumstances and explain that yet ANOTHER change would really have her going downhill. Ask them to come up with an agreeable solution that KEEPS her in K3. I would flat-our refuse to allow them to "demote" her. She can wear pull-ups to school. If she isn't having poop accidents, there should be no reason a teacher can't change her pull-up (or help her to do it) a couple times a day while you continue to work on her PTing at home and try to figure out her currency to motivate her to stay dry at school.

That just makes me so angry for you.

[TwinFoxes]

Is it possibly a licensing thing with the daycare? That was my first thought. Their hands may be somewhat tied.

I don't have a good suggestion. I don't think moving her back is a good idea.

[kdeunc]

Is it possibly a licensing thing with the daycare? That was my first thought. Their hands may be somewhat tied.

I don't have a good suggestion. I don't think moving her back is a good idea.

This could definitely be the case. Where my kids go the classroom for the 3-4 year olds does not have the approved set up for "diaper" changes. An occasional accident yes but not a pattern. It has to do with the sanitation requirements. When DS1 was there he moved up ahead of several older boys because he was fully trained long before they were.

[AshleyAnn]

I discussed it with the daycare and we agreed to start sending DD to the K2 room after she has an accident in K3 but to start every day in K3 hoping the funner classroom motivate her to potty. And it worked! I explained it to her on the way to school every morning and had the teachers reenforce it during the day and it only took 2 days of spending the day with the babies to get her on track. Unfortunately she is back with her dad this weekend and I don't know what to expect.