Therapy - is this progress or a "honeymoon" phase?

[mikeys_mom]

DS has been working with a shadow at school for 2 weeks now. There has been an incredible improvement. We still have lots to work on but there has been a slow and steady overall improvement. The past few days have been amazing. He is happy when he gets home and eager to quickly do his homework. Self management overall is better. Outbursts are less frequent and his "cool-down" time is shorter. He has been working really hard and commented how pleased he is with himself for his accomplishments.

Can we celebrate this as progress yet or is this typical and I should brace myself for a backslide in a couple of weeks?

I have a meeting with the shadow on Tuesday to do a 2 week progress update so I will ask her but just curious what others experience has been.

[JTsMom]

I can't say if it's permanent or not, but I'm happy for you. :cheerleader1:

[egoldber]

I agree with Lori and I would :cheerleader1:

But I think the reality for most kids with special needs of any sort is that there are good times and not so good times. Some of that is mood swings and some is the result of external stimuli (new experiences, stresses, good/bad teachers, etc.). I have come to realize that ups and downs are just part of the process.

I would think that now is a honeymoon and that the teachers are extra conscious of working with him because the shadow is there. And also the shadow no doubt makes a huge difference. Older DD has never had a personal shadow, but one year a shadow was in her classroom because a kid on a IEP got one. OMG. The difference was astounding. I think that just having the extra support in the classroom made things go from bad to soooooo much better for several kids who needed support.

ETA: How did the meeting with the Hebrew teacher go?

[mikeys_mom]

Thansk for the encouragement. DH and I are certainly thrilled with the changes. Yes, from what I hear the shadow has helped other kids in the class also. She told me that she will interact with everyone. I see other kids saying bye to her at the end of the day. She has been working really hard with DS on appropriate choices of friends to play with at lunch and recess and she also explains to the other kids that if they start to get DS all riled up, then don't complain when he throws food, water, etc... She says she has noticed a marked improvement in behaviour from other kids as well.

Beth - meeting with the Hebrew teacher went pretty well. She was fine with all my suggestions. I took everyone's advice and stuck to DS's needs and didn't comment on the program she was using. She seemed hesitant to think outside the box and said she didn't know how she'd be able to scribe his work for him. But, basically, the special ed coordinator told her it had to be done and use her assistant for that if necessary. She has been pretty good at sticking to the IEP so far. She is really filtering his workload and only having him write out the essential things to show his understanding. She has been encouraging him to draw his understanding as well. I think she finally is starting to understand DS. She is still concerned about his performance and understanding of the grammar drills she does. I'm in the process of asking around for an alternate method of testing to suggest to her. She is really a very sweet person but comes off a bit rough. I can see she wants DS to succeed we just have to show her how to help him. Small steps for now :)

Also, the shadow commented that DS gets tired the last hour of the day and while she can tell he is listening, he isn't watching the teacher and is sitting on his fidgit cushion on the floor. The Hebrew teacher doesn't think he is paying attention. The shadow is in the process of coming up with a list of suggestions for the teachers as to how to interact with him based on her observations and we are meeting with them in 2 weeks. I suppose it's a learning process for everyone :)

[crl]

It certainly sounds like you found a great fit for the shadow. Progress is wonderful.

Catherine

[mikeys_mom]

It certainly sounds like you found a great fit for the shadow. Progress is wonderful.

Catherine

I can't express how wonderful the woman we hired as a shadow is. She works exclusively with kids on the spectrum and knows exactly how to handle DS and how to teach him social skills and self management. I am so glad we went with her.

Yes, progress is wonderful :) DH and I are cautiously excited. We'd love to do a happy dance that DS will be able to continue in this school and eventually be able to function without a shadow but are afraid of getting too optimistic at the beginning.

[Gena]

It's different for every kid. My DS definitely goes through a honeymoon period when starting a new intervention or a new placement at school. It can last a few weeks or a month. Then it's usually followed by a period of testing the limits and pushing boundaries. If the situation before the new intervention was particularly traumatic, DS often has some acting out as a way of expressing his frustration and his need to recover in a safe environment.

Progress is always good - it shows you what your child is capable of with the right supports and the right motivation. It's good to celebrate. But I would still be prepared for the possibility that there may be some backsliding once the newness of the situation and initial sense of relief wear off.

Good luck!

[mikeys_mom]

Progress is always good - it shows you what your child is capable of with the right supports and the right motivation.

Thanks Gena. I think for us, this is the key. When we first got the diagnosis, before the dev ped got into what we need to do now, she said that firstly, we needed to take a big picture, long-term approach. She believes with the right support, DS will be able to attend university, get a job, get married, have kids, etc...

It is just sometimes so difficult to see the forest from the trees, when your child can't seem to function as an 8 year old and when the smallest things set him off. But, the past week has really given us hope that he can learn techniques to control himself, function better and most importantly be happy on a daily basis. We are prepared for regression but it is easier knowing that we can get back to a good place.

[JustMe]

So happy for you!

I'm in the camp of you can't know if this is a honeymoon or a lasting improvement---although now that I say that, I will take part of it back. Given how wonderful the shadow is, I would say you can count on some lasting improvement even if it does not stay at this wonderful honeymoon stage!

[mikeys_mom]

So happy for you!

I'm in the camp of you can't know if this is a honeymoon or a lasting improvement---although now that I say that, I will take part of it back. Given how wonderful the shadow is, I would say you can count on some lasting improvement even if it does not stay at this wonderful honeymoon stage!

Thanks for the encouragement!

I had the meeting with the shadow and she is really pleased with how DS is doing. She wants to hear what the school has to say but from her perspective, she thinks that she can potentially pull-back in the mornings and maybe only start late morning. Lunch is an area he still needs help. Plus the afternoons are hard because of a combination of it being later in the day and the personality and classroom style of the afternoon teacher.

She wants to set DS up for success in the mornings so he will gain confidence that he can handle the classroom on his own. It will mean training the teacher and the classroom assistant a bit but she thinks its doable in the next week. Plus, she has some great suggestions for kids to pair him with. The desks are arranged in small groups in the class and she now has a good feel for personalities that mesh well with him and which kids get him and accept him and can actually help him. At the moment he is sitting at a round table by himself with the shadow. He likes it there but she wants to show him how to integrate with the other kids.

We've given the special Ed coordinator some things to work on with the teachers and have our big four week update with the teachers and shadow on Friday. We'll hopefully set some new goals and figure out how we are going to use the shadow for the next month.

[crl]

That's great. Your shadow sounds all kinds of awesome.

Catherine

[Gena]

That's a great update!