Choosing private school over public school (long)

[lhafer]

I know a lot of families on this board chose private school over public school for various reasons. I am beginning to wonder if that move might be best for my oldest as well.

Background: My DD1 is currently in first grade and goes to the neighborhood elementary public school. The school is 3 years old, and is a very very good school. I actually have no issues with the school at all - love the principal, teachers, etc. But DD1 has been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and she is 1.5 points away from an official diagnosis of Asperger's.

She is in the "gifted and talented" program they have for 1st-3rd graders where they excel in arts. She can do arts/crafts all day long. But she is quite behind in reading/writing. She HATES reading and writing. She goes to tutoring for 30 minutes twice a week before school with her teacher where she is in a small group and they work on reading/writing (she also did this last year in Kingergarten, and has been doing this all this year as well). Last week, on my own, I decided to put her in external tutoring 3 days a week in a reading program because I feel like if we didn't do something - she had a very good chance of being held back because she wouldn't test where she needed to be in reading (she's at a level 6, should be at a level 10, and by May needs to be at a 16 to pass 1st grade).

I just got her progress report - AFTER deciding to put her in external tutoring (which is $400 a month). And her report was that she is way behind. Why didn't I get this information sooner from the teacher?? I decided she needed extra tutoring after spending time with her night after night reading/writing/doing homework...and it's such a struggle.

I'm wondering if private school would be a better fit for her. Her current classroom has 22 students in it. She does much better in smaller groups and one on one. She's extremely bright and does love school in general. She's social, and definitely needs help staying focused and on task at school.

We seriously considered Montessori school before sending her to public Kindergarten because we were very worried about how she would handle the transition. But she did very well last year, with occasional behavior issues. Her school work was pretty good, but she did struggle with reading last year too.

I plan on getting her tested for dyslexia as well (her father has it - and she is showing some signs of it as well). But how would I know if private school would help her, instead of wasting a year finding out??? How do I find a good fit for her?

[georgiegirl]

Does her current school have pull-out help for those below the bar? DD is also in first, and the bottom 1/4 of the class gets pulled (in various groups according to reading level) for extra help with reading very frequently. Not sure how often, but I volunteer every Monday, and the kids are always pulled out when I am there (they are on a 6 day cycle, so it's not as if its only once a week.). I'm pretty sure these are all kids who are below where they should be. So, I'd inquire with the teacher about whether she is getting your DD extra help and what you can do. Class size of 22 is decent. I'm not sure if private school would be better and what kind of resources for kids who are below the bar. It is interesting that your DD gets pulled out for gifted but not for extra reading help. At DD's school, the resources for gifted kids are TERRIBLE. DD's reading level is O/P, which is end of third grade (so she's 2+ grades ahead) and she is not pulled out. Same situation for math. They only allow 6-8 kids per grade to be pulled out for reading and math. We have 150ish first graders, so that's pretty ridiculous.

So I'd talk to DD's teacher first and see what other resources are available first.

[Philly Mom]

It really depends on the private school. Many will not cater to any special needs. For others, that is their speciality. There are often great teachers at both public and private and bad teachers at both, even the "best" private.

[megs4413]

You're near me, right? I can't recommend the UMS style of education highly enough and there are a lot of options for UMS in my state. It's particularly good for kids with ADD, but not all schools accept kids with learning challenges. You can PM me if you want.

[mom2binsd]

I'm not sure why they told you she has to be at a specific reading level or they will hold her back. Without all kinds of documented RTI, response to intervention, there is no way they could hold her back. At this point they would have to have had her in a number of intervention groups, and you should have been given lots of info on where she is academically. I'd ask for a meeting with her teacher and the reading specialist /resource teacher/psychologist to sew what would be the next step. Not all private schools accept students with learning differences or are equipped to support them. I've seen many return to public or not get in due to learning disabilities or those on the spectrum.

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[belovedgandp]

We specifically chose public school because of the help they could offer. Besides the recent poor communication the school appears to be serving her needs. I'd be frustrated but get up in their face and ask for what you need. Not a threatening thing, but as a parent that will get extra help and wants her child to do his/her best.

At least in our area the private schools do not offer the specialized services our kids would need. They frequently bus kids to the local public elementary school a couple times a week to get services.

[o_mom]

Have you asked for an educational evaluation from the school?

If not, do that tomorrow, in writing.

[wellyes]

I am so sorry for your stress.
In your shoes, I would probably be working towards making sure the public school meets its obligation. From an advocacy and legal standpoint I understand you're probably better off in public school. But in your shoes I would also be taking school tours too, to see what is out there.
I hope you find a great fit.

[sste]

Would you be looking at a private school that focuses on children with learning issues? Or just a regular private school? In my area, alot of private schools aren't thrilled to take on students that need extra attention and specialized help. There are alot of exceptions of course and you just need to find one. In my area the private schools divide between those that are ambivalent about high needs kids and those that have quietly, under the radar developed a bit of specialty in kids with emotional and behavioral issues that have been booted out of more prestigious privates in the city.

I wonder if your money might be better spent on "wilson-certified" dyslexia tutor for your daughter, assuming she does have dyslexia. Also, when you said she missed the aspergers/autism diagnosis, does she have social skills issues and is there a social skills class at the school? That may actually be a way to get her into a small group setting at least a few hours per week.

[KpbS]

PP make great points! I would say most private schools would not necessarily meet her needs, some would! Our very small private does provide help for struggling students and also gifted opportunities. Privates are more likely to have smaller classes than her current setting but not necessarily so--I think 22 students is a fairly average class size for many private schools.

If I were you I would look at the specialty privates--those that cater specifically to special needs student populations. We have a couple here and they are small and very effective in educating the whole child, regardless of that child's unique make up of aspergers/emotional problems/learning disabilities/etc. or a combo thereof. IME kids can really thrive in the right educational setting where they are understood and challenged appropriately.

[Green_Tea]

I'm not sure why they told you she has to be at a specific reading level or they will hold her back. Without all kinds of documented RTI, response to intervention, there is no way they could hold her back. At this point they would have to have had her in a number of intervention groups, and you should have been given lots of info on where she is academically.

:yeahthat:

It's nearly impossible to hold a student back without jumping through the hoops described above, and if reading is the only big issue I would be shocked if they held her back for it. Often teachers will say things like, "We need to be at a 16 by June" but that doesn't mean the student will repeat a grade if they're not there yet.

It sounds like she is already receiving some small group instruction. First graders can make HUGE leaps, and often skip over DRA levels. That said, it sounds like she's lagging and could benefit from some additional help. I think hiring a tutor could be helpful, but would also ask for a one on one meeting with her teacher to get some more information about what additional support she can receive in her current setting, especially since you feel like it's a great place. Has she been evaluated by the school? Might she qualify for additional support based on her diagnosis?

[lhafer]

Her teacher has to be the one to get her pulled out of class for special reading, and when I asked her about it, she said that it doesn't really help and it just would set her further back in whatever they were learning about during the time she would be pulled out. She does set DD1 up in small group reading groups, along with the extra tutoring twice a week before school.

The outside tutoring we are getting her is 3 days a week for an hour. They are set up in stations, so it really helps with her focus. She spends 30 minutes with reading, 15 minutes in writing, and 15 minutes in math. It's a tutoring center that's geared towards ADD/ADHD kids.

We spoke with the school counselor extensively last year. I've had her behaviorally tested by a pediatric psychologist twice (once at 4.5yrs old and once at 6 yrs old) and the results were pretty much the same (positive for ADD/ADHD and in the gray area for Asperger's with results that lean to mostly likely having it...girls with Asperger's are generally diagnosed around the age of 11!!). The school felt like she was doing just fine without special intervention/classes/etc from them. I felt like last year she was doing well, but I was also getting weekly emails/communication from her teacher, and I knew exactly where she stood academically. If I had a question, the teacher responded immediately (by that day). THis year I feel like she is struggling more, and while she has a really good teacher - I feel like the communication is lacking between teacher and parent.

Her current teacher is a SPICE (Special People In a Creative Environment) certified teacher (the "gifted/talented" program that DD1 is in). DD1 is not pulled out of class for that - since her teacher is a certified teacher for that program, she will give the SPICE assignments to all the students in the class (because it doesn't hurt). She said you can tell the SPICE kids vs the "regular" kids based on what they do with the assignments (i.e she gave them black circles to create something with. She said most of the kid sin the class made smiley faces with the circles. DD1 created a bowling alley pin set up, numbered the pins, etc). I feel that since she is more of a SPICE teacher, she leans more towards the arts/crafts type vs math/reading areas, even though I know they teach it all. She stated her reading level was a 6/8 (and she should currently be at a 10+). But when I spoke to the Tutoring Center director (who was a 1st grade teacher), she felt like DD1 was on a lower level than that.

I just don't want DD1 to be behind all the time, and struggling to keep up. I don't believe kids should wait until 3rd grade to be tested for a lot of this stuff, and if they aren't up to snuff...then that's when they do something about it. Then they are always struggling to catch up.

I guess I'm just frustrated and trying to figure out what's best for her. I don't feel that the school believes she's "bad enough" for special services - and so doesn't really want to help, yet I see her struggling. I wasn't even aware that they have the district reading specialist in our school until last week!!

Her teacher knows she's in outside tutoring, and the director of the tutoring center has already been in contact with her. I'm hoping this is just a hump that we have to get over, and that things are more smooth sailing once she is confidently reading.

[niccig]

In my area the private schools divide between those that are ambivalent about high needs kids and those that have quietly, under the radar developed a bit of specialty in kids with emotional and behavioral issues that have been booted out of more prestigious privates in the city.


DS's school is apparently one of these due to it's project based curriculum and 2 teachers to each class. The teachers though don't have any special training and I have had from some parents that some teachers are better than others dealing with children that have more needs. There is one school that specializes in children who are twice exceptional. A friend's DS goes there and it has been just amazing for him, but it is very very expensive.

Has she had a full learning evaluation including a reading assessment? I wonder if she is struggling with a particular part of reading. I would also want to know her strengths/weaknesses re. learning to better know what she needed from a school before moving her.

DS was making slow progress in grade 1. I suspected he had problems with phonemic awareness, I'm in grad school to be a SLP and it's something I learned about in class. I had DS tested and he saw a SLP for help (was already seeing her for articulation delay). With that help and us working on reading at home, DS has improved greatly in last 6 months. He is now seeing a reading tutor to check if there is anything else going on with his reading.

[KHF]

If you suspect dyslexia, get her tested as soon as you can. That will shape what reading programs could help her. My DD was diagnosed with dyslexia over the summer. She was in first grade last year and obviously behind. Her teacher and I both knew something was wrong, and suspected for dyslexia, but the public schools here don't test for it until third grade. They wait for them to fail completely. They had her in RTI, she was officially classified in the 2nd tier, but was getting tier 3 interventions. None of it helped. They don't use any Orton-Gillingham based instruction, so it just didn't help. I had her tested outside of school by an independent (certified) testing specialist. Now she is in outside tutoring twice a week for an hour at a time with a Barton Reading and Spelling tutor. That's just one of the OG based tutoring programs (Wilson, referred to above is another). We used Barton because of the ability for me to do it at home if we can't afford the outside tutor, plus it's what her specialist recommended for us.

Private school is probably not going to help, unless it is a school specifically for learning disabilities, or if they have extensive experience with LDs. Most are just not equipped to deal with it.

For us, the solution was to tell the school that *we* would take care of her reading support, all I need from them are some accommodations in the classroom and to leave her in the classroom with her teacher. I don't want her pulled out for *anything*.

She is repeating first grade this year (their recommendation, but ultimately my choice). She was the youngest kid in her class last year (8/22 birthday with 9/1 cutoff). Now she is right in the middle of ages for her class and is doing relatively well. The Barton has really helped her reading skills, and I see huge improvements.

[o_mom]

I don't feel that the school believes she's "bad enough" for special services - and so doesn't really want to help, yet I see her struggling. I wasn't even aware that they have the district reading specialist in our school until last week!!



The school cannot make that call without an evaluation. That should be the first order of business. They may be going with their feeling that she wouldn't qualify, but they can't say for sure until she is tested. I can't believe the teacher says that the small group intervention wouldn't work. It sounds more like she doesn't want to make up the material missed or deal with the disruption.

Do you have a counselor at the school? If so, talk with them, but I would still give them a letter today requesting an evaluation.

[egoldber]

It sounds more like she doesn't want to make up the material missed or deal with the disruption.

That was my thought as well.