Should we move to Montessori or full day for DS in the Fall?

[elektra]

DS's preschool registration for next year is coming up and I don't know what the right choice is.

Right now we have 2 nannies.
DD does half day morning K (next year is full day G-1)
DS does T/Th 1/2 day morning preschool. If he stays at the school, next year would be M/W/F 1/2 day.

S works M,T,Th. She has been with us since I first went back to work with DD 5+ years ago. She picks up the kids from school and brings them back home and cares for them.

R works Wed, Fri. She takes the kids to swim, ballet on her days.
R is a college student and has been with us for 3 years. She indicated that after this summer she probably won't be able to commit to her current schedule with us because of internships and other obligations. (Totally understandable- she wants to start her career.)

So I am considering moving DS to a full-day program, and then letting both of the nannies go. I am considering a nearby Montessori school. And maybe keeping him there through K.
I have a neighbor who likes it there, and they have aftercare.
I am really scared to lose the nannies though. They have been great. And I also like the current preschool, outside of the fact that it is only half days a few times a week. But I feel like it makes more sense to transition DS now vs. go through trying to find another nanny, if S does not want to change to doing 5 days a week in the Fall- 2 full days and 3 half days.
Also, I will have to find aftercare for DD. It could just be the CDC at her school.
So I am thinking my options are:
Put DS in a full-day program for 4 year olds, and let the nannies go at the end of the summer.

I have already spoken to S, and asked her what she wants to do and if she would be willing to come 5 days a week, with MWF being half days. I asked her to think about it- what she wants.

However, I am wondering if a full-day program might benefit DS at this point, even if S could commit to the 5 days.

What do you all think????

I think my next steps are contacting DD's CDC to get pricing quotes, a tour, and also touring the Montessori school and other full-day place nearby.

[wellyes]

I believe that no child who is 3/4 needs to go to full day care for the child's benefit. I would hold out to see what nanny S is willing / able to do. If it makes sense for you to send him to full day, I am sure he'll do fine and even thrive. Don't worry it will be fine either way :thumbsup:

[abh5e8]

yea...op, what do you think DS would gain from the full day program? i think the one on one time (and more free time) with the nanny is so good for the 3-4-5 y/o, so if it can work, i'd stick with that.

[Philly Mom]

I will be voice of dissent and think for many kids it can be great. Some kids are very social and school is great. I personally would prefer all day school over a nanny, but I would choose all day school even if I was home at that age.

[elektra]

Thanks for the replies, especially since that post was horribly written- sorry! I am having trouble organizing my thoughts around this and I am not feeling well. :/

I guess I am looking at the full day as a possible safer/better choice at this point, compared to having to go through the whole process in finding another great part time nanny, who only wants to work the limited times I need.
And I am looking ahead to the following year when both kids will be in school- will we even need a nanny then? Maybe daycare will be the best choice at that point.
And while I have limited knowledge about Montessori, I am curious about looking into the possibility more. I know that for DD, I would have preferred full day K, and with Montessori, DS could have that. I think the mixed age thing could be good for him too, but I think I need to learn more about the philosophy and particular school.

[arivecchi]

I would move to full day school/aftercare with both. We made the switch recently and it has been great for both kids. DS2 in particular has benefited a lot. He was probably a bit bored at home with the nanny and has benefited immensely from being around kids his own age all day and having a lot more structure. I also like that he is learning both academic things as well as developing his social skills. It's not too much for him as they still get an afternoon nap. Aftercare is DS1's favorite time of the day, so we have had a very positive experience with that as well. If you think the new all-day school will jive with your DS, I'd probably go for that as opposed to finding a new nanny. Good luck! :)

[mommylamb]

I come at this from the perspective of having children who have always been in full day care, either daycare or full day care at preschool and now full day K with before and after care. I know that kids don't need full day care for their sake, but mine (and I'm talking about DS1 here because DS2 is too young to really draw any conclusions from) has thrived in full day care. DS1 loves it, and always has. He often doesn't want to come home because he's having so much fun. He makes friends easily. That could be a chicken and egg thing-- I'm not sure if he makes friends easily because he has been in full day care, or if he likes full day care because he makes friends easily, but either way, it's a really nice thing. I also think he has benefited a lot academically from his experiences in daycare and preschool. Not that you couldn't get that elsewhere, with a mom or nanny, but I found that from an academic perspective, he left pre-K not only with the skills he needed for our (overly) academic K (don't get me started on how non-play based it is), but he started K with the skills he would be expected to have acquired by the end of the year.

Again, I can only speak from our experience, and that others have fantastic experiences with other types of care. But that is how it has worked for DS1.

[AnnieW625]

I have only ever had my kids in full time daycare, and well now DD1 is in 1st grade with after school care. It's all they have ever known. It scared the sh!t out of me though when DD1 was really little because all I had ever known as a child was having a mom at home at all times until I was 17 yrs. old. I wanted a nanny as well because in my mind a nanny= a mommy figure like I had growing up, but it wasn't really ever an viable option because I would have been giving at least half if not 2/3rds of my take home salary to a nanny every month, plus whatever our commute costs were going to be. If we could have afforded that then it would have made way more sense for me to stay home, which honestly at the time DH knew I would absolutely hate and would be bored (I hate to say it he was probably right). We found a loving in home daycare center and we could not be happier.

DD1 who has always been on the shy side transitioned wonderfully from the daycare center to full day kindergarten and after school care. IMHO if she had had a nanny it would have been a royal PITA to get her to assimilate/transition.

We might be in the same boat as you in the next 18 months when we decide if we are going to send DD2 to the after care program at her school where the pre k will be (it is the same school as DD1). I had always thought I would just send her from 8 to 12 M-F and then have my DCP pick her up and take her back for nap, and more play time, but last week DD1 got all excited that DD2 could go to after care it made me think, hmmm, maybe that will be a decent option for her. This next school year will be the first year of the program so we'll have to see how it goes, but if the kids get naps at after care before the big kids get out of school at 3 pm I think we'll just go with it.

In an ideal world I would agree with WellYes that no 3/4 yr. old needs full day preschool or after care program, but I don't think for any working parent unless you are a nurse or doctor (however the few doctors I know who even work part time still have nannies for their kids or send their kids to full day preschool program) or someone else who works a somewhat flexible hours that you will ever be able to live in that ideal world.

[egoldber]

My younger DD was in all day care since she was 2.5. She transitioned from 2 days a week half day preschool, to 5 days a week half day preschool, to all day. (This was all at the same location.) Honestly, she was soooo much happier when she went to 5 days a week. She thrives on the stimulation and the stability of the routine.

I personally prefer all day care vs. a nanny. I hate dealing with hiring and personnel issues. I like having the director that I can talk to if there is an issue. I like the range of activities offered as part of the school day. They have an indoor gym so they could play hard every day even if the weather is cold/bad.

That being said, it was a program that I knew was well run, teachers who had been there for years, teachers with EC degrees, with a child-centered, play-based curriculum that is completely in line with my own philosophy on child care and early childhood experiences. I would feel less comfortable if the place wasn't so perfect for us.

[sste]

Is napping an issue still? Is your DS a high-interest in activities type kid or more of a homebody?

What we have done is basically split the difference with 3/4 day care. DS is a extremely active, curious, activity-focused little guy but he still naps (at 5.5). He gets tired and I know he strongly prefers some afternoon time hanging out at home with his toys and sister. He goes to extended day preschool from 9-1:30, home at 2 then snack and nap, and wakes up and has some veg-out time. And I don't need to pick him up from anywhere. That is ideal for my particular DS but I think it very much depends on the kid.

Another thing I like about some amount of home time is I feel like my two kids get to spend more time together.

I think any of the options sound fine. But I am wondering if you want to consider having your nanny switch to more of an "after-school" model and send your DS to 1/2 day or 3/4 day. This might also be useful if you are going to need someone to drive them to activities/team sports looking forward.

ETA: Our approach is not the most affordable way to go though.

[kristenk]

Elektra, what do you usually do for child care in the summer?

I think that going with a 5-day full-day program isn't a bad idea. My only hesitation would be summer child care. If you need a full time nanny in the summer, it might be easier to have the same person do p/t child care during the school year.

[maestramommy]

Elektra, what do you usually do for child care in the summer?

I think that going with a 5-day full-day program isn't a bad idea. My only hesitation would be summer child care. If you need a full time nanny in the summer, it might be easier to have the same person do p/t child care during the school year.

I was wondering about this as well. Also, you mentioned your DD is in half day K. Would that be the case for your DS as well? Can't remember if your kids are in private or public school. Anyway, if your DS is going to the same k then won't you need someone at home with him in the afternoons for 2 years more? Or are you thinking that both kids will be in aftercare starting next year?

If it's the latter option then I can see the case for letting go of the nannies as long as you have a summer care option. Whether it benefits your DS is a question only you can answer. These things are so individual;) But I do think it doesn't have to be only one way. It may be beneficial to your family for both your kids to be in a program for a full day rather than have a patchwork of solutions.

[egoldber]

My only hesitation would be summer child care.

Many full day programs offer year round care. That's one of the advantages IMO.

[KDsMommy]

Many full day programs offer year round care. That's one of the advantages IMO.

:yeahthat: Even DS' public elementary school offers summer camp at a very reasonable price.

[arivecchi]

Many full day programs offer year round care. That's one of the advantages IMO.
:yeahthat:

[kristenk]

Many full day programs offer year round care. That's one of the advantages IMO.

I agree! But I wasn't sure what elektra had done in years past and if she had something specific in mind for the summer.

[Simon]

For me, the 2 deciding factors would be the temperament of the child and have you toured the Montessori?

In our case, home+nanny, or even activities +nanny cannot match the rich environment of the Montessori school. We just can't even come close to it. I don't feel the same about the more traditional day care we currently use for Ds3 or other preschools we have used before

Ds1 I would have kept with a nanny at nearly all costs. He was not good in a group setting at that age.

Ds2 simply adores his full day program and Ds3 does too. Both of those kids are very social, highly curious, and Ds3 is a go all day/no naps kind of kid so their respective day care/schools provide them the stimulation they crave. Ds2 is a big napper so his Montessori school is a great fit for the calm, peaceful environment without the sensory overload (muted colors, natural materials, quiet work, etc). He also has a lot of options for taking himself into micro-environments to decompress alone vs. being kept with the large group most of the time.

Ds2 started Montessori at 2y9mo and started 1/2 days M-F, it was an AM work period plus 2x recess, line/circle time and lunch. Most of his class was already staying a full day and he was more than ready when we transitioned to full days in December to meet my work schedule.

I also love the convenience of having stable child care for the kids. I debated an afternoon nanny for Ds2 and Ds1 (after elem. school ends) but ended up extending Ds2 at Montessori and added Ds1 to the school after care which ended up being the best choice for them both.

[Kindra178]

I will be making a similar decision at some point. Among other things, I like having a sitter for two reasons. First, Ds1's homework is very involved. It is not just a worksheet of math problems. It requires internet research in many cases, library trips, etc. I like how my nanny can get started on that. There was a huge uptick from k to first grade homework, especially in math, so that might be something you will deal with next year. Second, the activities are getting more, not less. My sitter currently takes my twins to swim, TKD and gymnastics. Tball and soccer practices start at 5 in April for ds1. Although I will generally meet them there now, if I didn't have a sitter, I would have to pick him up and the twins (different location) from aftercare and bring him to practice.