Mea culpa..how to make it up to DH

[niccig]

I was out of line. I admit it. I fell asleep putting DS to bed the got up and asked DH a question about our taxes. He was annoyed at my questioning him on something he thought we had decided the previous night. I was so tired, I couldn't even remember the previous conversation and got annoyed he was getting annoyed at me and we had a fight. I'm the one with the temper and said some not nice things and stormed off to bed. He slept on the couch.

I know I shouldn't have said what I said and I should have tried to explain that I couldn't remember the previous conversation, but my brain wasn't working.

We didn't talk this morning, but have somewhat cleared the air since over IM - not best way but better than not talking about it all day. We rarely talk on phone as DH gets interrupted all the time, so IM is usually better for him.

[boolady]

Well, since I am also this person in my house, especially when I'm tired, I just tell DH like it is-- that I'm sorry, that I know I was out of line, and that I know I get easily frazzled/irritated when I'm tired and somewhat out of it, for lack of a better term. At least between my DH and me, just laying it out there and getting it over with works the best. Now to get him to admit the same thing when he's grumpy and gets overheated....

[bigsis]

.....but have somewhat cleared the air since over IM - not best way but better than not talking about it all day. We rarely talk on phone as DH gets interrupted all the time, so IM is usually better for him.

I think you are good to go. There is no need for a lengthy discussion for this. You have acknowledged your mistake and apologized. :thumbsup:

[daisyd]

Well, since I am also this person in my house, especially when I'm tired, I just tell DH like it is-- that I'm sorry, that I know I was out of line, and that I know I get easily frazzled/irritated when I'm tired and somewhat out of it, for lack of a better term. At least between my DH and me, just laying it out there and getting it over with works the best. Now to get him to admit the same thing when he's grumpy and gets overheated....

:yeahthat: If you've cleared the air, you've paved the way to do the above. I'd try to put myself in the other persons (DH) shoes and see what can be done to make amends.

My DH sometimes brings home flowers etc to apologize (which is rarely:). When I'm the offender, I like to do what boolady suggested but DH says lets move on, lets not rehash etc. So, whatever works for you as a couple, what gesture will be meaningful for you and DH?

Don't be too hard on yourself. everyone loses their temper sometimes. IIRC, finances are a sensitive issue for you which may have triggered you to say stuff you didnt mean. You probably already do this, but giving yourself a personal time out when you know you're losing it and before you completely unravel helps. Hugs. This too shall pass.

[gatorsmom]

If you've laid it all out and apologized, I would think things should clear up between you two. But initiating boom-boom always helps my DH move past it, according to him. It never hurts the situation ( again, according to DH. :D. )

[Giantbear]

I am probably in the wrong place to give advice, but an apology for an action that keeps happening is a hollow apology. Apologize, maybe pick up a treat you know he likes, ride him like sea biscuit tonight, and stop yourself form losing your temper next time.

[niccig]

I am probably in the wrong place to give advice, but an apology for an action that keeps happening is a hollow apology. Apologize, maybe pick up a treat you know he likes, ride him like sea biscuit tonight, and stop yourself form losing your temper next time.

No, you're right that if it keeps happening it's a hollow apology. I freely admit I have a tendency to blow up when I lose my temper, but thanks to therapy it hasn't happened in a very long time. I hate when I do it as then I'm just like my Dad.

DH and I talked, he said he knew I was tired and we're OK. But I do need to just go to bed and not get into a fight when I know I'm super tired.

[Giantbear]

I am probably in the wrong place to give advice, but an apology for an action that keeps happening is a hollow apology. Apologize, maybe pick up a treat you know he likes, ride him like sea biscuit tonight, and stop yourself form losing your temper next time.I think you may have missed this integral part of my post :wink2:

[hopeful_mama]

I think you may have missed this integral part of my post :wink2:

She said she needed to go to bed - allow a lady a little discretion ;)

Love having a guy's voice on this board!

[niccig]

I think you may have missed this integral part of my post :wink2:

No I didn't miss it. We both were super tired last night - DH fell asleep on the couch and I fell asleep putting DS to bed...but I will take your advice for sometime this weekend ;)