Is this normal 2 year old behavior?

[trcy]

I know 2 is a tough age, but DH and I are wondering if we are raising a spoiled child. DD demands everything and throws an absolute fit when we tell her no or she doesn’t get her way.

A few examples of things that have lead to meltdowns:
I didn’t (pet the dog, tickle her feet, hold her doll, ect) when she told me to.
DH didn’t put her yogurt in the ‘right’ bowl.
I was washing her hair and she wanted to do it herself.
I was cutting fruit for her and she wanted to do it.
I put the dog in another room because she wouldn’t leave her alone and the dog was getting stressed.

DD has always be VERY independent, she can also be very sweet, helpful and loving but lately…WOW! DH describes her as the most demanding boss he has ever had.
Is this normal for a 2 year old or are we raising a spoiled, demanding child? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[gatorsmom]

Yep, sounds like normal, independence-seeking behavior. If she isn't usually this willful, then I'm sure it's a phase. Give it a few months and she'll grow out of it, I'm guessing. :) I've seen these phases come and go in my own kids. They aren't fun- I feel your pain.

[fedoragirl]

Very normal and it gets even "better" at 3. DD wasn't so tough at 2 but all the behaviors you describe are being fully displayed now at 3.

[waitingforgrace]

Pretty normal. I never respond to demands, I remind DD she must ask me nicely and that some things are mommy/daddy jobs (cutting fruit).

[♥ms.pacman♥]

DH describes her as the most demanding boss he has ever had.


LOL, have you seen my other thread?The "most demanding boss" was the first analogy I came up with too, for this kind of behavior!!

https://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=452192&highlight=boss+threenager

But like fedoragirl, i saw those behaviors REALLY come out at age 3, at least with my DS. each kid is different though. My dd is not even 2 and is already in the "having meltdowns for random reasons" stage.

[MamaMolly]

Hop on the wacky train, cause you are in for a wild ride. Yes, sounds normal to me and honestly it has been MUCH easier the second time around. Maybe because I know we will survive, maybe because I know it isn't anything I'm doing or not doing, it is just them growing up. Most of the time I can laugh it off. Most of the time ;)

Lula saved it all for after she turned 3. Two was so easy I thought I was the best parent in the world. Three was a humbling experience.

[wellyes]

Normal developmentally. My advice is to not discipline the child or enter the battle. Respect that her feelings are real, but carry on calmly.

[Giantbear]

sounds like both my 2.5 year old and my 39 year old

[maestramommy]

:p Gee that sounds so much like DD3, who has been like that since birth! So while I don't know if it's normal 2yo behavior per se, it's DD's normal behavior. She has turned me into a drill sergeant, for whatever good it may do.

[crl]

Normal around here. I try to coach for asking nicely and when I say no I never change it to yes. And I ignore a lot. As she has gotten closer to three, dd has added lots of dramatic foot stomping and running off to her room and slamming her door to the repertoire. Somewhere I saw a quote along the lines of the threes are the twos with intent. So true!

Catherine

[daisymommy]

Oh yeah, totally normal toddler/preschooler behavior. Nothing to worry about. The haven't learned to handle their emotions yet. Roll your eyes inside your head, grit your teeth, and continue on your way. It will eventually get better!


Sent from my iPad

[hellokitty]

Yeah, this is normal. My younger two were just like this, but it has been far worse with ds3, because he has speech issues. So on top of being demanding, we couldn't understand what he wanted many times and that would lead to torrential tantrums. I find that as their communication skills get better, and if you stick with teaching them manners (ie: can you ask nicely without whining?), it gets better toward their latter 3's.

[trcy]

LOL, have you seen my other thread?The "most demanding boss" was the first analogy I came up with too, for this kind of behavior!!
I thought that sounded familiar when DH said that.

Thanks for all of the reassurance, we were feeling like parental failures. But now, I am really afraid of three.

[doberbrat]

Two was so easy I thought I was the best parent in the world. Three was a humbling experience.

:yeahthat: My motto has always been I do not give in to demands and I tell the kids so often. Just be consistent about your reactions and you should pull through this phase just fine :grouphug:

[TxCat]

Yup, sounds like our house. We keep emphasizing that unless DD says please and thank you, she's not going to get what she's demanding, if she's being rude we tell her that's not nice, we make her say sorry, etc.

[mjs64]

This is my life with my newly turned 2 year old, pretty much verbatim.

Hugs! It's hard.

[mackmama]

Wow - that behavior sounds identical to our 2yo's - and honestly I'm so relieved to read this thread! I was wondering the exact same thing. So glad to know it's pretty normal. Whew - it can be tough though!

[georgiegirl]

Totally normal. It's slightly different at age 3. I often start laughing because kids have meltdowns over the most ridiculous things.

Have you seen this http://crappypictures.com/my-official-re-entry-into-the-terrible-twos/

[MamaMolly]

Normal developmentally. My advice is to not discipline the child or enter the battle. Respect that her feelings are real, but carry on calmly.

This is such sage advice. The very moment you start to battle with a 2 year old you've LOST. Though in the heat of the moment it can be hard to remember.

[Pyrodjm]

Sorry, your DD sound like a typically developing 2 yo. DD2 is 2.5 and some days the only way I get through it is to remember that her older sister was just as demanding, particular, irrational, hysterical and impossible at 2. We both survived and while she is no angel she is a sweet, kind and loving child most of the time. My motto is "She's two, its a temporary condition".

I have also babysat and taught lots of 2yos, the age is terrible but the kids usually aren't. Having limited communication skills and a strong desire for independence while being trapped in a tiny, clumsy body with limited reasoning and critical thinking abilities is just an awful combination.

Whoever said do not argue or get overly emotional is right. But not engaging can be soooo hard.

[MamaInMarch]

Sounds normal to me! And I have to agree about threes.... I regularly tell DH that whomever called the 2's terrible were *liars*! ;) "This too shall pass" is repeated frequently in our house.