Great article

[lhafer]

I found this to be a great article. Finally researchers said what I've been thinking for years! What do you think?

http://growingleaders.com/blog/3-mistakes-we-make-leading-kids/

I completely agree with their way of thinking. I try to let my daughter figure out her problems on her own first, and she usually can. She used to be in soccer. Towards the end of the season, she would jut stand around and not even try. DH and I did not let her get the trophy that was handed out after the last game. All we ever ask is that she tries her best. She doesn't have to be good...just try her best. And she's aptly rewarded when she does.

Kids today have no reasoning skills, can't think for themselves, and believe they are entitled to everything.

[crl]

It was interesting. I agree with many of the ideas, but some of it seemed a bit hyperbolic.

I have seen similar articles before, including the general idea that more free play with other children without adult supervision is important in developing executive function. It's frustrating in some ways, because that just is not something I can provide on my own. Our old neighborhood had a bazillion kids and common space so they actually played outside together all the time without much adult supervision. But here none of the kids seem to hang out outside so it has to be playdates and organized activities. I think it is very rare to have kids just hang out together without adult supervision anymore.

And I definitely agree with calculated risk taking. That's something I think my parents did really well, gradually handing the decision making and responsibility over to me. My mom once said their goal was to give me opportunities to make decisions while they were still there to catch me if I fell so that when I left home, I would be ready to make it on my own. I let ds, third grade, walk himself home from school alone. I have had one other mom say that she's not brave enough to do that. I don't even think it's all that risky and the pay off in letting him gain independence makes it seem like a no-brainier to me. I'm still trying to decide about letting him walk to school by himself (home I know right away if he doesn't get here, school would take a while for them to take roll, etc and call me)

Ds was struggling with math when we first moved here because the class was in a different place. He failed a couple of timed quizzes. He came home and calmly told me he failed but he had told himself he was going to do better next time. He did! I mentioned it to his teacher who got all upset that he had used the word "fail" and asked me to talk to him about it. I didn't say it to her, but heck no. He did fail. And it motivated him to work hard to catch up. Excellent as far as I am concerned.

Catherine

[Green_Tea]

I loved that article - I posted it on the FA thread a few days ago!

As a parent and a teacher I think our generation is doing a poor job of cultivating leaders and allowing kids to fail. I'd say that the number one challenge my fifth graders are experiencing with the Common Core State Standards is perseverance. They just don't know how to keep going when the going gets tough, and they are used to being successful - or having an adult immediately jump in and "save" them when they're not.

I think we need to give our kids more personal responsibility (i.e.: Have a problem with your homework? YOU, the student, should talk to the teacher about it - NOT the parent), encourage them to take more risks without fearing the repercussions of failing, and start praising them for hard work and perseverance rather than success.