My neighbor and a carpool driver- UPDATE in last post

[knaidel]

My two boys get driven to school everyday by one of the administrators. He picks them up every morning at around 8:15 or 8:20. As he pulls up to my house,he gives a series of short honks. He doesn't really wait to see if the kids are coming..he just gives the series of honks. Yes, its annoying.

Two weeks ago, my next door neighbor called me to let me know that she finds the honking disturbing. She is in her early 70s, retired and lives alone. So my husband called the driver, and asked could first wait to see if the boys are coming? If they're not...then just give one short honk? I noticed that for a few days, he was compliant. But now, he has reverted (some days) to his annoying series of honks....think "shave and a haircut two bits." Other days, no honks.....I guess sometimes he forgets.

So today, my neighbor knocks on my door and complained. Again. Not sure what to do. I get the impression that our driver is totally happy to comply--- but sometimes he is rushed, and he forgets. I don't want to be a nag and keep reminding him.

I kind of feel like this is my neighbor's problem, not the carpool driver. I feel like 8:15 on a weekday morning is a totally reasonable time to be honking a horn. It's not like we're talking about sunday morning at 7:55. It's normal to expect that people are out and about and making noise.

That being said, I have a normal, friendly relationship with this neighbor and I would like to keep it that way. I also really appreciate this man taking my kids to school every morning--- although I reimburse him mileage and pay for gas ---- I get the better end of the deal, and I don't want him to stop driving my kids because of this.

what do you think?

[Ceepa]

Can you get the kids out a few minutes earlier in a place the driver can see them to avoid the honking?

[KLD313]

Idk I kind of feel like if she has a problem with the guy honking then she should go outside and talk to him. How can she expect you to control what he does?

[hellokitty]

Can you get the kids out a few minutes earlier in a place the driver can see them to avoid the honking?

:yeahthat: As someone who had a teen neighbor whose friend would do the SAME thing every day to pick him up for school. It is VERY annoying to have a neighbor whose ride obnoxiously honks the horn every morning. In my case, it woke up my babies at 7:30am. I was extremely happy when he graduated from high school, but that house will be forever known to me as the honker house.

[wellyes]

I do not think 8:15 on a weekday morning is a reasonable time to honk, especially on an almost daily basis! It's normal to her car doors open and close or conversations, but honking is rude. I would speak to the driver again. Honking is a noise meant for emergencies, it is jarring and deliberately disruptive.

[BunnyBee]

Give the neighbor his address and tell her to go honk at him on Sunday morning. Kidding! Sorta...

[crl]

Can you get the kids out a few minutes earlier in a place the driver can see them to avoid the honking?

I think this is a good idea.

Catherine

[TwinFoxes]

I do not think 8:15 on a weekday morning is a reasonable time to honk, especially on an almost daily basis! It's normal to her car doors open and close or conversations, but honking is rude. I would speak to the driver again. Honking is a noise meant for emergencies, it is jarring and deliberately disruptive.

:yeahthat: I'd be annoyed too, and I'm definitely awake at 8:15.


Can you get the kids out a few minutes earlier in a place the driver can see them to avoid the honking?

:yeahthat: No need to cause bad blood with your neighbor. And just because she's the only one that complains doesn't mean she's the only one it bugs.

ETA: I think few women living alone in their 70s would feel comfortable confronting s stranger about their horn honking. I understand why she is approaching OP instead.

[waitingforgrace]

I'd try to have the kids ready on time and ask the driver not to honk at all. If you're watching for the driver to send the kids out, it really shouldn't be necessary. I don't see any problem with telling the driver that a neighbor has found the honking to be disruptive so you'll make sure the kids are ready when he gets there so it won't be necessary.

FWIW I would be your annoyed neighbor too, sorry. I don't think honking is normal or expected in a residential setting every day.

[Green_Tea]

I do not think 8:15 on a weekday morning is a reasonable time to honk, especially on an almost daily basis! It's normal to her car doors open and close or conversations, but honking is rude. I would speak to the driver again. Honking is a noise meant for emergencies, it is jarring and deliberately disruptive.

:yeahthat: I TOTALLY agree.

I'd be annoyed by a daily honker regardless of the time of day!

I'd aim to have the kids ready and waiting so they can go right out the door when he pulls in.

[blisstwins]

I agree. The honking would drive me crazy. It is really inconsiderate and it is so not necessary. I would talk to the driver and also make sure your children are outside before he gets there. That seems like such a simple fix.

[PZMommy]

We had a neighbor whose friend would pull in the driveway and honk at all hours of the day. It was super annoying! I would just make sure your kids are ready and have them out by the door, so that he won't need to honk.

[ahisma]

We have a neighbor whose father lives nearby and often drives the kids for her. He's a honker. She knows he's there. I hear him pull up, surely she does. Why honk? Get out of the car, or call from your cell. But no, no honking.

I have never said anything, but it drives me batty.

On the flip side, a neighbor about half a block down writes me nasty notes for locking my car with the keys. It does a super short beep. Seems it wakes him up from afternoon naps on his porch (although he does say that he can't hear it inside). Personally, I think it's wonky to think that you will have pure quiet on your porch in an urban setting.

[MMMommy]

I do not think 8:15 on a weekday morning is a reasonable time to honk, especially on an almost daily basis! It's normal to her car doors open and close or conversations, but honking is rude. I would speak to the driver again. Honking is a noise meant for emergencies, it is jarring and deliberately disruptive.

:yeahthat: I would be annoyed by daily honking, regardless of the time of day.

[elliput]

He doesn't really wait to see if the kids are coming..he just gives the series of honks. Yes, its annoying.
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what do you think?

I think he is being an inconsiderate ass. He is well aware you know when to expect him, and it is unnecessary for him to announce his presence to the entire neighborhood.

ETA- Wait. What? You reimburse for mileage AND pay for gas? I think you need to re-evaluate that one.

[TwinFoxes]

On the flip side, a neighbor about half a block down writes me nasty notes for locking my car with the keys. It does a super short beep. Seems it wakes him up from afternoon naps on his porch (although he does say that he can't hear it inside). Personally, I think it's wonky to think that you will have pure quiet on your porch in an urban setting.

That's just obnoxious (on his part).

[oneplustwo]

I feel badly for your neighbor. There's no reason for the driver to honk. Does a schoolbus honk at every bus stop? I would tell the driver that some neighbors have complained to you about his honking again and asked for him to stop honking at all. Ask the driver for how he'd like to handle his arrival WITHOUT honking ~ would he like the kids to be at the end of the driveway waiting for him? Would he like to call you on his cell? Would he like to know that you will have the kids waiting by the door and you all hear his car approaching and that's enough for the kids to know to go out? You get the idea. Figure out with him something else that doesn't involve any honking. Tell your neighbor that you've spoken with him again and worked out an alternative. Then cross your fingers he sticks to it.

[s7714]

I do not think 8:15 on a weekday morning is a reasonable time to honk, especially on an almost daily basis! It's normal to her car doors open and close or conversations, but honking is rude. I would speak to the driver again. Honking is a noise meant for emergencies, it is jarring and deliberately disruptive.

:yeahthat:

Our neighbor's son gets dropped of by a school bus several afternoons a week. The driver always beeps the horn twice and it annoys the hell out of me. She does it because the kid can't be trusted to make it into the house on his own (older kid, but has some special needs issues) so the honk is to alert the nanny that he's arrived. Quite frankly I can't see why she can't just be out there waiting, so I see a similar situation here. Why can't the boys be out there waiting at a certain spot before the allotted pick up time? I guess I'm coming from the perspective that I waited out in rain, snow, etc. for a good 10-20 minutes everyday for my school bus, so waiting for a car doesn't seem much different to me.

ETA: I would honestly call the police if I'd asked nicely a couple times for the honking to stop and it continued.

[bisous]

Since you pay this person, I would definitely bring it up again. Can you walk the boys out for the next few times in a row? That way your group is more visible AND you can immediately remind him not to honk if he does! Enough reminders and maybe he'll mend his evil ways, lol.

[Mali]

Honking is annoying, but so long as the noise ordinance is followed (and after 8am is likely safe) then there's nothing any neighbors can do other than complain to you since the police would tell them there's nothing they can do.

We have a neighbor whose gardener comes at 7/7:30am and runs the lawn mower and leaf blower. It bugs the crap out of me and would wake me up, but it's after our protected hours so I just have to deal. /shrug.

[Kymberley]

I complained to my neighbor about her HS daughter's friend honking at 7:50, she asked her to stop. For the most part she did. It annoys the hell out of me, especially if DS is asleep because it has woken him up many times. I hope you can work something out with the driver. I feel for your neighbor.

[KrisM]

I agree that it would be annoying to have it be daily. I'd have the kids waiting outside for him so he doesn't have to wait for them to come out.

[Pennylane]

I agree that it would be annoying to have it be daily. I'd have the kids waiting outside for him so he doesn't have to wait for them to come out.

Agreed, I would have the kids on the porch waiting and also mention it to the driver again. Tell him you've have numerous complaints from the neighbor.

Ann

[*myfoursons]

I agree with posters -- try and have your kids in the driveway when the car pulls up. It would drive me crazy if someone was honking every morning! Also, when I'm 70, I hope to be able to sleep in after a lifetime of having to wake up early ;)

[janine]

I think this is a good idea.

Catherine

Agree, seems like an easy fix and I also would be annoyed by routine honking - it's kind of like shouting.
As an aside, how does one get an administrator to drive kids to school?

[LBW]

I'd wait outside with the kids for a week or so to get him out of the habit of honking, and I'd remind him why. Explain that it's an elderly neighbor, and the honking is too much for her at that hour. I think honking is obnoxious almost every hour of the day, and to do it every morning at that time is just over the top.

Then, after the week of waiting outside with the kids, I'd make sure they were outside when he arrived in the future.

[knaidel]

Wow! I am so glad I asked. Having lived in congested, urban neighborhoods my whole life (have only been in this suburban area 2.5 years), I am used to waking up to the sounds of city buses going by, honking cars, and really loud sanitation services hauling away the dumpsters.....I really assumed that honking at 8:15 is totally reasonable. I'm glad that you all chimed in.

There are a few other factors:

1) when it's cold or raining, there is no place to wait outside (no covered porch or anything). When it's not too bad, I have my kids wait down the driveway, so they're visible as he's coming up the street. The honking has been more of an issue in the winter-- the cold weather, plus, since I've had the baby, I haven't been necessarily waiting outside with my kids like I was in Sept/Oct/November

2) Now, reading what everyone else here is saying......I don't have a problem with her request. I guess my problem is more like, "I agree with you, he should not be honking at 8:15. But I can't force him to not honk, nor remind him on a daily basis. " That being said, he is truly a nice guy-- the kids in the school all really like him. I don't think he is being inconsiderate on purpose--- he is just in a rush to get to school (ie- his place of work).

3)I like one plus twos suggestion to put it as more of a "what can we do to keep everyone happy?"

Thank you all for your suggestions!

[knaidel]

Unfortunately, he honked this morning--- I didn't get a chance to speak with him last night. But, I just spoke with him now. He is totally accomodating. We made up that my children will be waiting at the end of the driveway at 8:15, weather permitting. If they are not there, he will call, not honk.

In the meantime, my neighbor has been calling here. I have been ignoring her calls--- I will let my husband deal with her.

[minnie-zb]

Unfortunately, he honked this morning--- I didn't get a chance to speak with him last night. But, I just spoke with him now. He is totally accomodating. We made up that my children will be waiting at the end of the driveway at 8:15, weather permitting. If they are not there, he will call, not honk.

In the meantime, my neighbor has been calling here. I have been ignoring her calls--- I will let my husband deal with her.

As someone who lives in a neighborhood and knows how the politics can work, I would not continue to ignore her calls. If she's unhappy you can bet a lot of your neighbors are unhappy. I would suggest doing a warm gesture towards this woman who will communicate it to the 'hood. It will help you get back in everyones good graces. I would suggest getting her some flowers or baking her some cookies and putting them in a pretty basket and walking over to give her an update and say how sorry you are and you are glad she felt comfortable enough to share this with you. This will go over big and get you lots of brownie points.

[wellyes]

Unfortunately, he honked this morning--- I didn't get a chance to speak with him last night. But, I just spoke with him now. He is totally accomodating. We made up that my children will be waiting at the end of the driveway at 8:15, weather permitting. If they are not there, he will call, not honk.

In the meantime, my neighbor has been calling here. I have been ignoring her calls--- I will let my husband deal with her.
I agree with the cookie advice. Also want to add that I love having my husband deal with the neighbors! Wonderful part of our partnership, LOL.

[MommyofAmaya]

Unfortunately, he honked this morning--- I didn't get a chance to speak with him last night. But, I just spoke with him now. He is totally accomodating. We made up that my children will be waiting at the end of the driveway at 8:15, weather permitting. If they are not there, he will call, not honk.

In the meantime, my neighbor has been calling here. I have been ignoring her calls--- I will let my husband deal with her.

That sounds like a great solution for the future. The one and only time I totally went off on my inconsiderate neighbors (think loud window-shaking music at 2am on a regular basis) is when one of their family members woke up my newborn very early in the morning by honking 2 days in a row. It made no impact in the the long run. :/

[knaidel]

I am about to run out...but I have some issues with this neighbor...that doesn't make her wrong....but it makes it harder for me to accomodate her.


1) I cut down a tree in my yard because of a number of problems it was causing. She mentioned how she doesn't like how it looks-- it detracts from the look of the street.

2) I built a retaining wall so my yard would be level. I then needed to put up a fence, because of the retaining wall (county codes and all). She mentioned how she doesn't like how it looks-- it detracts from the look of our street.

3) The previous owners placed the shed on her property (partially). We find out and have to pay to move it. We buy her cake and go an mention it to her. We tell her that we are in the process of moving it, it took us a while to do it (needed to find the right person, etc...). She takes the cake, but continues to nag us about moving a shed (it had been in that spot for 7 years, nto sure what the sudden urgency in moving it was).

4) And on the other side of the street, a sidewalk was broken in front of Mrs. K's house-- because of the roots of a tall maple tree. Neighbor called the county and asked them to repair it. The county came, took down the tree, repaired sidewalk and billed Mrs. K.$1500. Said neighbor complained to Mrs. K that she wishes Mrs. K would have fought to save the tree, etc... -- it detracts from the look of our street!


:) I love my block!!!

[KrisM]

Wow! I am so glad I asked. Having lived in congested, urban neighborhoods my whole life (have only been in this suburban area 2.5 years), I am used to waking up to the sounds of city buses going by, honking cars, and really loud sanitation services hauling away the dumpsters.....I really assumed that honking at 8:15 is totally reasonable. I'm glad that you all chimed in.

There are a few other factors:

1) when it's cold or raining, there is no place to wait outside (no covered porch or anything). When it's not too bad, I have my kids wait down the driveway, so they're visible as he's coming up the street. The honking has been more of an issue in the winter-- the cold weather, plus, since I've had the baby, I haven't been necessarily waiting outside with my kids like I was in Sept/Oct/November

Thank you all for your suggestions!

Can they use an umbrella in the rain and warm coats/snow pants in the winter? We walk to the bus stop and then wait 10 min or so daily and use those things and manage just fine. Kids fold the umbrellas as they get on the bus. Mine need warm clothes for recess, so dressing warmly in the morning makes sense. Even if I happen to drive them to school, they wear the warm clothes because of recess.

If you're on a busy street and they can't wait there by themselves, can they wait at the top of the driveway or near the front door? Then, you can just stay inside.

[minnie-zb]

I think you have even more reason to try and win her over -- she sounds difficult, but she's not going away.

[khm]

1) when it's cold or raining, there is no place to wait outside (no covered porch or anything). When it's not too bad, I have my kids wait down the driveway, so they're visible as he's coming up the street. The honking has been more of an issue in the winter-- the cold weather, plus, since I've had the baby, I haven't been necessarily waiting outside with my kids like I was in Sept/Oct/November


Can you open the garage door and have them wait inside the garage?

My kids go on the bus, we are lucky that the stop is one house away and we can usually see the bus from a few blocks away to minimize the wait, but the further away kids or the ones with no good "view" to see if its coming just have to wait in the rain, it is what it is.

[indigo99]

Honking is annoying, but so long as the noise ordinance is followed (and after 8am is likely safe) then there's nothing any neighbors can do other than complain to you since the police would tell them there's nothing they can do.

Angry neighbors can make all sorts of problems. We had a neighbor who got mad because my older sister would honk in our driveway every morning when she picked up our younger siblings for school. She never arrived at the same time so the kids waited inside until they saw her and then went out, but I told her repeatedly not to honk. She felt entitled to honk though and made the neighbor hate us.

One day that lady had cypress trees planted ON the property line which happened to be about 4 feet from my driveway. I confronted her when I saw them being planted and, yes, she was deliberately putting them on the line but promised to keep them trimmed off my property if needed. Of course there was no way to enforce that, and she moved only a year later. After about 4 years, those trees were growing over so far as to scrape the cars pulling into the driveway. Happily, we sold the house though so it's no longer my problem.

[Rainbows&Roses]

I am about to run out...but I have some issues with this neighbor...that doesn't make her wrong....but it makes it harder for me to accomodate her.


1) I cut down a tree in my yard because of a number of problems it was causing. She mentioned how she doesn't like how it looks-- it detracts from the look of the street.

2) I built a retaining wall so my yard would be level. I then needed to put up a fence, because of the retaining wall (county codes and all). She mentioned how she doesn't like how it looks-- it detracts from the look of our street.

3) The previous owners placed the shed on her property (partially). We find out and have to pay to move it. We buy her cake and go an mention it to her. We tell her that we are in the process of moving it, it took us a while to do it (needed to find the right person, etc...). She takes the cake, but continues to nag us about moving a shed (it had been in that spot for 7 years, nto sure what the sudden urgency in moving it was).

4) And on the other side of the street, a sidewalk was broken in front of Mrs. K's house-- because of the roots of a tall maple tree. Neighbor called the county and asked them to repair it. The county came, took down the tree, repaired sidewalk and billed Mrs. K.$1500. Said neighbor complained to Mrs. K that she wishes Mrs. K would have fought to save the tree, etc... -- it detracts from the look of our street!


:) I love my block!!!

This all doesn't change the fact that you are the cause of this early morning annoyance that is probably impacting more than just this neighbor. And if that is the worst you have to complain about your neighbors, consider yourself fortunate.

[TwinFoxes]

Angry neighbors can make all sorts of problems.

:yeahthat: My ILs had a neighbor who was angry about a fence they put up that was slightly against HOA rules (wrong color, don't get me started on HOAs!). It was years of nastiness, it finally drove them to put their house on the market during the downturn.

[AngB]

I am about to run out...but I have some issues with this neighbor...that doesn't make her wrong....but it makes it harder for me to accomodate her.


1) I cut down a tree in my yard because of a number of problems it was causing. She mentioned how she doesn't like how it looks-- it detracts from the look of the street.

2) I built a retaining wall so my yard would be level. I then needed to put up a fence, because of the retaining wall (county codes and all). She mentioned how she doesn't like how it looks-- it detracts from the look of our street.

3) The previous owners placed the shed on her property (partially). We find out and have to pay to move it. We buy her cake and go an mention it to her. We tell her that we are in the process of moving it, it took us a while to do it (needed to find the right person, etc...). She takes the cake, but continues to nag us about moving a shed (it had been in that spot for 7 years, nto sure what the sudden urgency in moving it was).

4) And on the other side of the street, a sidewalk was broken in front of Mrs. K's house-- because of the roots of a tall maple tree. Neighbor called the county and asked them to repair it. The county came, took down the tree, repaired sidewalk and billed Mrs. K.$1500. Said neighbor complained to Mrs. K that she wishes Mrs. K would have fought to save the tree, etc... -- it detracts from the look of our street!


:) I love my block!!!

With that in mind, I'd tell carpool guy to honk away.

While we don't have any reason to honk ourselves, our neighbor has a work vehicle that beeps when he backs up every morning. It is loud and annoying, but whatever. Another neighbor in the cul de sac has the same thing, except it's a school bus that pulls up to their house b/c their dc has autism but the bus has to back up to get out of our cul de sac. Both are just as loud as honking would be but last longer, On Fridays our recycling pick up (garbage truck) is before 8 am. I don't think the honking is a big deal. And I have a toddler and a baby. I don't expect our neighbors to be quiet just for us.

[codex57]

With that in mind, I'd tell carpool guy to honk away.

This. The honking can distract her from bugging you about other stuff. :)

You ladies are so nice. If a neighbor deliberately planted trees ON the property line to me, that means the tree is half mine. If I liked the trees for the privacy it gave me from that neighbor, I'd go to Home Depot and buy a chain saw to trim any half that grows on my side. Even if it means cutting the tree in half. If I worry that the roots will cause problems for my property down the line, instead of a chainsaw, I'd buy herbicide.

[gatorsmom]

This all doesn't change the fact that you are the cause of this early morning annoyance that is probably impacting more than just this neighbor. And if that is the worst you have to complain about your neighbors, consider yourself fortunate.

:yeahthat: I definitely think you need to stop the honking. It has to be scary and difficult for an older women to live alone. Older people very often have a hard time sleeping because of aches and pains (they just keep getting worse as we get older!) so if she is sleeping in the morning and the honking wakes her, she probably cant get back to sleep really easily. I'm sure it disrupts her day.

Compared to some of the neighbors posts on this board, she doesn't sound bad at all! And it sounds like she is keeping up her yard and house nicely. She could be so much worse! She could be playing loud music at night while your kids are trying to sleep! Since she has asked you nicely a couple of times to stop the honking, I think it would be unkind to let it continue. Just my $.02.

[tabegle]

After reading this last bit, I think you are being far too nice and accommodating.

It sounds like this woman just wants attention and is annoying everyone in the neighborhood to get it. Don't "feed" her any more attention than is necessary.

I can see how honking at 8:15 in the morning can disrupt someone's schedule, but it's well within the realm of any local noise ordinance.

(I'm a little crabby today, so I'm sorry if this is coming off as mean.)

[Mali]

Oh we've got the queen of angry b!tchy neighbors living next door to us. The woman is 80+ years old smokes like a chimney and drinks (sherry of all things) like a fish. When we were remodeling she would regularly yell at my husband about how we were awful people and she wished we never bought the house and that she'd have bought it herself if she'd known we were going to remodel. No matter what we tried to make her happy (adjusting architectural details to minimize impact, cutting down trees she complained about, having the contractors be especially careful) did any good. She's just a hag who would yell at DH when she was drunk and then apologize when she was sober.

It's awful, but we're both just waiting for her to die and trying to avoid her until then.

She's an equal opportunity hag though, so the rest of the neighbors on our street all commiserate about her.

The way I look at it, noise ordinance laws try to strike a balance. If someone is so sensitive to noises, they should have bought property out in the country so they didn't have to deal with nearby neighbors. It's not like the guy is honking every day at 2am.

[niccig]

Part of me is it's 8:15am, so not early, but I would be annoyed if 8:15am most mornings the house next door to me had a honking car. It's annoying and there are other alternatives, so he doesn't HAVE to honk his horn.

I'm also in the "be nice to neighgours" camp, especially neighbours that aren't going to move anytime soon. We moved into our house and our dogs were out early, barked and disturbed neighbors. He's in his 80s and left a really nasty note. DH and I were pissed. MIL talked us down telling us that a) our dogs were annoying that morning and b) he's not moving anywhere as been there for 30 yrs. I made nice with cookies. Since then, they've been great neighbours and have even put dogs into their yard when they escaped and I wasn't at home.

And as for telling the driver to honk more as she's an annoying old biddy, that's just childish.

[MamaInMarch]

I'm in the middle on this one. I have to agree that even in my suburban neighborhood that there are noises early in the morning. The trash truck comes every Wed and Fri, rumbles down the road at 6am and then reverses back out. We have school kids walking around 7 that yell (I live a few blocks from a high school). Lots of dogs in our neighborhood that get walked every morning in the pre-work routines and LOTS of early morning barking. Heck, my own dogs bark in the house as the others walk by. While I think honking a tune is annoying and daily honking (even if short) is annoying, she has to get over herself.

There is something to be said for making nice with neighbors but it sounds like she is a pain in the neck. Obviously you being kind and accomodating prior to this (cake because you had to move a shed) had no impact.

I would try to eliminate the honking but I would not be answering her (repeated :shake:) calls or bringing her treats. IMO, that is rewarding and encouraging her BS.

[glbb35]

We had a neighbor years ago too that was a high schooler picked up by another high schooler. This kid would come tearing down the street, pull into their driveway and honk multiple times until she came out. IT was ridiculous and at an hour at which most were up and moving around but it is still annoying to listen too. It also made several dogs including mine in the neighborhood howl. I tried not to say anything for so long until it got to be too much. I don't care where you live, everyone has the right to a certain amount of quietness. Yes, dogs bark and garbage trucks back up and those are all things we have to deal with. Someone honking ridiculously every school day is something I would not like to deal with either at any time of the day. We were lucky that our neighbor who had recently returned from deployment had a few days off before work began again and after 3 days he told the kid that if he honked his horn anymore he would show up at his house every day when he went to work and make sure the kid knew it was his wake up call! Problem solved. A few weeks later at a neighborhood street function another neighbor thanked the family for having horns honking for their daughter everyday. The family had no clue it bothered anyone. Turns out that another neighbor had started a police file as well as a neighborhood disturbance file on the them and was tracking everything they did. Ouch!

Hopefully you will be able to find a solution that doesn't require you to sit out in the bad weather with your kids. Does he text? Maybe he could text when he was turning into your neighborhood?

B

DS 03, 06, twins 09, 11

[HannaAddict]

I do not think 8:15 on a weekday morning is a reasonable time to honk, especially on an almost daily basis! It's normal to her car doors open and close or conversations, but honking is rude. I would speak to the driver again. Honking is a noise meant for emergencies, it is jarring and deliberately disruptive.

Yeah that. It is actually an infraction in our city. It isn't polite and he's picking up your kids so I think it is your problem. Is ask him NOT to honk at all, it sounds awful. Have him text you he's arrived. Once he's stopped of course. I'd be knocking on your door too versus approaching a strange driver and possibly escalating the situation. Sorry, good luck.

[AngB]

To clarify, I wouldn't really encourage the guy to honk more, but I wouldn't have gone out of my way to discourage it either. Definitely not to the extent that I would have my kids outside waiting on a rainy day just to prevent it.

We have an old witchy neighbor as well. She sent an email last week bitching out the whole subdivision because no one came and offered to shovel her driveway. Gee, I wonder why.

[HannaAddict]

After reading this last bit, I think you are being far too nice and accommodating.

It sounds like this woman just wants attention and is annoying everyone in the neighborhood to get it. Don't "feed" her any more attention than is necessary.

I can see how honking at 8:15 in the morning can disrupt someone's schedule, but it's well within the realm of any local noise ordinance.

(I'm a little crabby today, so I'm sorry if this is coming off as mean.)

It isn't the noise ordinance alone. Many cities, like ours, how you use the horn is regulated. It is fine to blare it to avoid an accident but not okay to use as a reminder or a way of saying "f$;@ you" - though of course that happens. Just explaining why it isn't necessarily legal to do, though I think unneeded honking is rude, regardless of the law.

[mjs64]

I would tell the driver that some neighbors have complained to you about his honking again and asked for him to stop honking at all. Ask the driver for how he'd like to handle his arrival WITHOUT honking ~ would he like the kids to be at the end of the driveway waiting for him? Would he like to call you on his cell? Would he like to know that you will have the kids waiting by the door and you all hear his car approaching and that's enough for the kids to know to go out? You get the idea. Figure out with him something else that doesn't involve any honking. Tell your neighbor that you've spoken with him again and worked out an alternative. Then cross your fingers he sticks to it.

This sounds the most reasonable and straightforward to me. I don't think that honking is rude per se. It would annoy me, but I understand why he would do it, and I wouldn't complain. I understand why the older woman wouldn't want to speak to him, so I would let her know that you've spoken to him--twice and that you're doing your best to accommodate her concerns. After asking the driver what he'd like to do, I think you've done all you can.

[squimp]

She sounds like a giant pain in the bee-hind. I think good neighbors pick their battles and try to be as kind as they can unless something is really a problem for them. She sounds like the type (and I know this type) to pick on things just to be a pain. Ugh!

That said, shave and a haircut every morning is pretty annoying. Is there a way for the kids to stand and watch by the window? I agree that perhaps other neighbors might be annoyed as well, she is just well-practiced at complaining about things.

[rlu]

she is just well-practiced at complaining about things.

LOL, but also, a bit of truth in that. I was always shy and it wasn't until I'd worked a while with a wonderful mentor who pushed me to be more outgoing that I started (justifiably, I think) complaining/requesting redress when appropriate. Knowing how to complain in an objective manner does take some learning.

IIRC OP has set up a new process for the guy to notify her when there, so hopefully this particular issue is being remedied.

Personally, I think the honking is rude and am glad that the guy has agreed to a different, less intrusive/public method of communicating.

[Globetrotter]

I would try to eliminate the honking but I would not be answering her (repeated ) calls or bringing her treats. IMO, that is rewarding and encouraging her BS.

:yeahthat:
I agree that the honking has to stop, but this woman sounds like a pain in the behind! I don't know that I could kiss up to her and make her treats, given the history, but I would politely address her concerns. She sounds like one of those chronic complainers who cannot be happy, so all you can do isry to appease her and stay out of her way. In this case, I think she is right to be annoyed.

I think you've come to a good compromise. The kids should be outside but, if not, he should call you to let you know he's there.