Update in OP-Am I crazy for not wanting to go on vacation??

[TxCat]

DH and I have never been away from DD, together, overnight (we've individually been away for work). We're planning to get away to Charleston, SC / Kiawah Island for 2 1/2 days next weekend, and my MIL and FIL will be watching DD for us (first time for the, watching her overnight). This will be DH's and my first "vacation" together in almost 3 years. However, now I'm getting cold feet. DD has been extremely clingy and needy this last week, and I'm starting to feel guilty for leaving her. Plus, we'll be on this trip at the end of my week off of work, so I'll be at home every day with DD from Saturday through Thursday, then gone Friday-Sunday afternoon, then back to work Monday, so I won't really get much of a chance to be with DD between the trip and returning to work and I'm not sure she will deal well with that. She tends to get more clingy the more time that I spend with her. We can't change the timing of the trip to earlier in the week due to DH's work schedule.

I'm seriously thinking of canceling the trip because I'm worried about how DD will be, and I'm going to miss her. Is this crazy??

UPDATE:
We went this weekend and had a great time. It was too cold for any beach or pool time but nice to get away with DH, sleep in, go to a spa, have nice relaxed meals, etc. We both definitely missed DD and were ready to get back to her on Sunday but she apparently didn't ask for us once! Thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go!

[bisous]

Oh, I totally understand your feelings SO SO much. But you should go. She WILL be fine and you'll have a great time. That first trip is always the hardest!

[HannaAddict]

Yes. This is crazy. And I didn't leave mine overnight at all until the the youngest was 2.5 years. It was hard, but good. Have fun and sleep in!!

[elektra]

Oh, I totally understand your feelings SO SO much. But you should go. She WILL be fine and you'll have a great time. That first trip is always the hardest!

:yeahthat: go!

[niccig]

Go. She will be fine and will get some great time with the grandparents.

I understand the feeling. On our first trip away I tried to pick a fight with DH at airport. Lucky for me, he knew I was feeling guilty, didn't get angry and ordered me 2 Cosmopolitans at airport bar.

[citymama]

I totally know the feeling. Our oldest is almost 7 and we've never done even an overnight trip away from her (except when I was in hospital giving birth to DD2!). We wanted to for our tenth anniv but I knew I'd be worrying the whole time about the kids! I'm the last person to push you on this either way. My one question is whether your pregnancy is part of your worry, and if so, whether a babymoon further along would be more enjoyable.

If it's just DDs clinginess, you should go and not feel guilty about it.

[Tinochka]

Go, of course. Your child will have a chance to be with grandparents, you’ll have some chance to be just 2 of you as in old days, then... looks like your life is gonna get busy;). Congrats, by the way.

[goldenpig]

Not crazy at all for feeling that way. But you should still go! I went through a very similar period of angst when DH and I went on a 1 week dive trip together when the kids were 4 and 17 months old. We had never been away from them since they were born (only time I had not been with DD at night was when I went to the hospital to have DS). It was very important to DH for us to do this trip and helped our relationship as a couple so it was worth it. Here is the thread I posted about the trip and the advice I received:
http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=406046

It was so hard for me to be apart from them and not worry--there was no phone/internet on the boat, so no way to even Skype or talk to them the whole week. I made a iMovie clip of photos/video of the kids on the laptop and watched it over and over again that week. And I even pumped and saved/froze all the milk and brought it back with us. I was worried that the kids would be freaking out with us not there (my mom and stepdad came to take care of them), but they were totally fine! They had lots of fun with Nana and Poppy. And in fact they got DS to start sleeping through the night (he was previously waking up several times a night). So, it's definitely harder on you than on the kids. They will be fine, and you will miss them but hopefully have a good time and invest in some quality couple time with your DH. Have fun!

[JBaxter]

My kids are 21, 18 9 &4. Ive been on 1 4 day trip and 1 week end trip with out my kids. They were ok but nothing wonderful. I simply dont WANT to go with out my kids. My husband wants to go to Aruba for a week and leave my youngest 2 with my mom. I dont want to and probably wont go. I LIKE my kids I WANT to take them so yes I see your point. Its not a vacation to me without my kids. I've taken them to Costa Rica, Cozumel, Dominican Republic and Belize. We had fun. My last convo w/ my DH about going to Aruba was... if you want to go without the kids fine go. I'm not.

[Philly Mom]

GO!! It is amazing to be together as a couple. If we has family near by and it meant grandparent time we would do it a few times a year. DH spent at least a week a year, became more as he got older, with his grandmother while his parents went away or had couple time. DH had this unbelievable relationship with his grandmother. My parents also traveled without us. Always left us with a sitter. Best time, I was 4 and had 21 year old sitter. So fun. She had been our sitter for years. Worst trip, I was 14. Sitters were old couple who couldn't cook. I was miserable and lost weight but survived. We still laugh a lot about it. Anyway, trips away were great for our parents' relationships. My parents have been married for 47 years and DH's parents for 40.

[almostmom]

I have had a number of trip with DH without our DC, all of which they stayed with grandparents. And all of which I freaked out beforehand, wished there was a way out, thought my kids were going to be a mess (and they even sometimes give me really sad faces about it beforehand). But everytime it was the right decision to go. The grandparents got special time with their grandkids - time that is much better than if I had been there, as the kids don't pay attention to the grandparents if we're around! And once I got to my destination (well, sometimes it took a little time), it was good. Good to be with DH, to feel a little freedom. And I was always so excited to get home and hug and be with my kids. They were never worse off because of it, and often had a blast.

I say it's a win-win situation for everyone here. But the getting in the car, or on the plane, is the hardest part!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I think you should go. We've gone away without kids a good number of times and they always have fun. Only once was ds2 pretty unhappy with me upon my return but it didn't last. :)

[Clarity]

I don't think it's crazy but then again, my girls are 6.5 and 4 and I still have never left them except when I was in the hospital with dd2. That said, next weekend I am going on a girlfriend getaway without dh or the girls. :cheerleader1: (a Happy 4-0 to me!)
But...I'm still not ready or interested in leaving my children with someone other than a parent. Dh will have to wait a bit longer for a weekend away without the kids. I do wonder if this differs in people who have different levels of family support. I don't rely on our parents to watch our children very often so I don't have someone that I'd readily leave them with. If you trust your MIL & FIL then go for it!

[khalloc]

Yes, you're crazy and yes you should still go.

[Seitvonzu]

gogogo. :) i *heart* charleston

[gatorsmom]

Oh, I totally understand your feelings SO SO much. But you should go. She WILL be fine and you'll have a great time. That first trip is always the hardest!

:yeahthat: I HATED to leave my kids at home for my trip with DH. But it will be good for you.

[TxCat]

Thanks everyone. I know I'm being such a dope about this, but I also know that we should take this opportunity to get away while we can - it's not like its going to get easier later this year. It helps knowing that its normal to feel nervous about the first trip away. I'm also really glad now that we booked an early morning departure - I don't think I could handle saying goodbye to DD!

[TxCat]

Update in OP.

[BabyBearsMom]

So glad you went and had a great time! Plus I think it is good to go away a few times before the new baby comes so your DD isn't totally freaked out when you are in the hospital with the new baby. I feel like DH and I did a bad job with that with DD1 and she really struggled while we were away. I wish she had a few experiences away from us so she wasn't really upset we were gone and having her life turned upside down with a new baby when we got back.

[georgiegirl]

Glad you had a great time!

[citymama]

Yay! Sounds like you had a great time.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm glad you decided to go!