Gross experimenting by 7.5 year old (possibly TMI)

[s7714]

My middle DD is 7 1/2, so firmly planted in that lovely 7-8yo mental growing phase were it seems like they've gone completely loony. (My oldest DD and several friends' DDs went through odd behavioral issues around this age, so I'm well aware that bizarre behaviors can show up temporarily at this stage in life.)

So DDs odd issue is that she's playing with her urine. Ewww, I know. The other day I went to move a pile of blankets/stuffed animals by her bed and discovered they were wet. Then I realized they smelled like pee. We have two really old cats, so I first questioned if one of them had an accident, but DD was cowering on the bed so it was clear she had something to do with it. Long story short she said it was an accident and was afraid to say anything.

Fast forward to tonight and she spent a really long time in the bathroom brushing her teeth. I went in after she was done to use the bathroom before I put both DDs to bed and noticed the counter was really wet. Yep, it was pee. It looks as if she peed on a hair comb and then set it on the counter (there was pee in the toilet too--she often forgets to flush). When questioned she confessed, which I'm happy she told the truth this time vs. lying, but still I'm super annoyed.

Has anyone else dealt with a older kid doing some kind of gross experimenting like this? I admit I went through a phase of doing "science experiments" about that age by mixing shampoos, soaps, other liquids, etc. together just to see what they'd do, but this just dumbfounds me. I told her I didn't care if she touched her urine out of curiosity as long as she washed her hands, but that putting anything else in it, or peeing on anything but the toilet, is just flat out unacceptable. I guess maybe this might be better off in the bitching section really, but I'm curious if anyone else's older kids have ever done something like this.

[megs4413]

I'm sorry but that doesn't sound normal to me at all.

ETA: I have a DD who is nearly 8.

[s7714]

I'm sorry but that doesn't sound normal to me at all.

ETA: I have a DD who is nearly 8.

See I totally flipped out when I realized what she did the first time because I was thinking OMG this is not normal. I told her I was going to call the dr. and make an appointment because no almost 8 year old in their right mind would do such a thing. Then DH came home and talked me down, talking about all the crazy things he and his siblings did as kids. I'm an only, so I only have my own childhood to compare to.

I'm honestly still arguing with myself about it. If you all think this is totally not normal, then I honestly want to hear that. I guess part of my quest to see if anyone else has BTDT is if anyone has BTDT because it was truly because of something outside the realm of "normal." I appreciate your honesty, so no offense taken.

[niccig]

Could they have been accidents and is embarrassed? Not sure about the counter, but are you sure the pee go on there by a comb? Just wondering if she peed her panties and put them on the counter and then the counter got wet?

[lalasmama]

DD (now 9yo) did a lot of "I'm pooping!" and then later telling me she hadn't pooped in x number of days. Upon further questioning/paying attention, we figured out she was just playing with whatever in the bathroom. This whole last summer, she wasn't allowed to close the door, and she had to ask permission to go into the bathroom. After her locking herself in the bathroom at the nanny's house for 30 minutes (claiming pooping, with zero smell afterwards, during a testing phase), she also got a 5-minute timer for about a week. I remember her wetting herself once at school around 7 years old too--the teacher had said "no bathroom" during x time, and she didn't hear the "x" time, so she was scared to ask to go. She didn't pee at all that day at school, until 4pm, when she had an accident at aftercare, then continued to have multiple accidents that evening at home... However, it was clear that she was upset that it was happening, not doing it as a "what will happen?" thing.

If initial, rational reasons are discounted (UTI? Constipation? Unusual stresses?), then I'd be the mean mom and say no closed doors, including the bathroom door... but I'm mean like that, and when DD is testing something, she needs a hard line that can't be crossed, so I come down on the firm side of things.

[citymama]

I have a soon to be 7 yr old so your post has me very worried about the next year! I have no btdt but DD does have quirks that are much less gross -hoarding every single candy wrapper she has ever had, storing rocks in her closet, bits of fluff, etc.

Your DDs behavior sounds outside the realm of typical. If she's on the spectrum of typical kids in every other way, then I would want to understand what's spurring this bizarre and unhygienic behavior. I would try and find a non threatening space in which to talk to her about it -walking home from school or just the two of you hanging out. Why is she doing this? Did she read something about it, or hear about it? Has she seen anyone do strange stuff with their pee or talk about it? After understanding what's driving it, you can gently (but firmly) ask her to please stop playing with pee or peeing anywhere but on the potty. Open door policy. My concern would be exposure to a kid who is doing weird stuff or talking about it.

Good luck - this is a tough situation!

[s7714]

Could they have been accidents and is embarrassed? Not sure about the counter, but are you sure the pee go on there by a comb? Just wondering if she peed her panties and put them on the counter and then the counter got wet?

Absolutely none of her clothing has been wet at any point. I've accounted for all of it to be sure of that factor.

Eta: She was wearing pj pants to bed the night before the questionable "accident" and tights the whole time she was home until after the wet spot was discovered. All items were dry, so she HAD to have physically moved her clothing before going.

She had one other "accident" over 2 years ago when DS came home from the hospital (she would have been almost 6), but in that case she actually peed her clothing too. Other than that, maybe one or two nighttime bed wetting incidents ever, so it's not like she's always been a big potty accident type.

[sariana]

I hate to bring this up, but is there ANY chance she is being abused? I'm sorry, but I feel I have to mention it.

I don't know that it is all that unusual, though I think her age is a bit unusual. I would expect it post-puberty (as a gratification type of thing?). The fact that it happened more than once, that you know about, seems odd.

I do wonder what she might have been exposed to--movies, magazines, books about "golden showers" and such. Can you give a full account of her whereabouts and her companions?

Sorry that you are dealing with this, and I'm sorry if I worried you with my thoughts.

[s7714]

I hate to bring this up, but is there ANY chance she is being abused? I'm sorry, but I feel I have to mention it.

I don't know that it is all that unusual, though I think her age is a bit unusual. I would expect it post-puberty (as a gratification type of thing?). The fact that it happened more than once, that you know about, seems odd.

I do wonder what she might have been exposed to--movies, magazines, books about "golden showers" and such. Can you give a full account of her whereabouts and her companions?

Sorry that you are dealing with this, and I'm sorry if I worried you with my thoughts.

The DD of a good friend was sexually abused at a daycare, so it is something I pay attention to. My DD is either at school or with us, period. Nothing has been happening at home outside of this behavioral issue. No changes, no media exposure. I already emailed her teacher asking for assistance (only saying she was having some behavioral issues at home, I didn't elaborate.) Other than that I'm not sure what I can do about the school peers factor. DD plays with a large selection of peers, so I admit I don't know each and every one.

I'll probably make an appointment with our Ped. this week just to see what he says. At the very least it'll be another view on just how normal or un-normal this issue is.

[pinkmomagain]

I agree with others that something stressful might be going on and I'd try to explore that. Trying to brainstorm some ideas: recent/impending move, fighting at home, bullying or exclusion at school, substitute teacher, upcoming vacation, you or your husband traveling or longer hours than usual, hospitalization or sickness of a loved one or a peer, home renovation?

[Chitowngirl]

I think you have gotten some excellent advice about ruling out abuse, talking to your pediatrician, ruling out stress, ect because you certainly don't want to miss something very important. Assuming its none of those things, perhaps the act of peeing itself wasn't deliberate and more of an accident while doing some other types of "exploring" if you will.

What I mean is that around age 7 some girls start to get major penis envy. Boys touch it, talk about it, pull it out to compare it, see who can use it to pee the farthest, and on and on and on. I think that's why your husband wasn't so freaked out as he probably did many of those things himself! As little girls we know our parts are different, but the number of parts and the function of them are a lot less intuitive. At that age most people teach that the penis and vagina are equal parts, but really urine doesn't come out of the vagina - it comes out of the urethra which could be confusing for her as she is trying to figure out what everything does. Perhaps she was just exploring her body and the urinating was a natural byproduct of that - it would definitely explain why her clothes were off.

[chozen]

Did she explain to you how the urine got on the counter or why she urinated on the comb?

[MamaMolly]

I think you have gotten some excellent advice about ruling out abuse, talking to your pediatrician, ruling out stress, ect because you certainly don't want to miss something very important. Assuming its none of those things, perhaps the act of peeing itself wasn't deliberate and more of an accident while doing some other types of "exploring" if you will.

What I mean is that around age 7 some girls start to get major penis envy. Boys touch it, talk about it, pull it out to compare it, see who can use it to pee the farthest, and on and on and on. I think that's why your husband wasn't so freaked out as he probably did many of those things himself! As little girls we know our parts are different, but the number of parts and the function of them are a lot less intuitive. At that age most people teach that the penis and vagina are equal parts, but really urine doesn't come out of the vagina - it comes out of the urethra which could be confusing for her as she is trying to figure out what everything does. Perhaps she was just exploring her body and the urinating was a natural byproduct of that - it would definitely explain why her clothes were off.

I was wondering if she was trying to get a look in the mirror while going? Like a curiosity type thing. And the comb just happened to be on the counter.

If you rule out everything else I'd chalk it up to being within the
Realm of normal-weird kid behavior.

[gamma]

I also think she is checking to see how everything "works." Some kids are just more curious than others.

[gatorsmom]

Does she have a UTI? Maybe she's having some pain or itching she could be curious about?

I agree that it sounds like she is curious. And I think if there was some abuse going on there would be other symptoms.

My boys do some weird stuff but your DD's behavior makes me think something else is going on. Maybe nothing to worry about, probably she's just curious. But I'd call the ped anyway, just for some reassurance. :hug: it's so hard being a mom, isn't it?

[amatahrain]

I can't remember if it was this board or another but wasn't there a poster not to long ago who had a DD that licked her pee?

When my nephew was 6 he peed in his closet... a lot. Even though the bathroom was right outside of his room. All of his stuffed animals piled in this closet were soaked and I couldn't figure out why and I sniffed and yup it was pee. We had cats at the time and there was no way it was cat urine. He did the same thing... cowered on his bed but wouldn't admit it for a long time.

I agree it is weird but I don't think it's that unusual.