Raidra
03-07-2013, 01:28 PM
Some background: we live in a two-family house, us upstairs and my parents and my 25 year old sister downstairs. My sister is highly sensitive, frequently irrational, and irresponsible. She does not pay rent and my parents pay several of her bills. My mother has major health problems. We have an 11 year old dog and 3 cats.
My sister adopted a dog last fall - a 2 year old pug/JRT mix. She asked us all to give her the okay and after reading the dog's description on the shelter's website, I told her that I had major reservations - she was described as shy and not okay with cats. Since she got her dog, she has not done any training with her whatsoever. The dog jumps on all the furniture at will, and often jumps on my mother's lap which is painful for her. She starts territorial fights with my dog. She jumps up on people when they're walking, and she nips a lot. Now, some of that is playful puppy stuff, I know. But she's also very fearful and will balk at the strangest things. She will also cower on my father's or my sister's laps sometimes. I've told her many, many times that I can see things worsening until she bites one of my kids, unless she does some major work.
My sister's not willing to do any work with her dog. She frequently walks her for under five minutes in the morning before rushing off to work, insisting that my father take her for a walk. My boys walk the dog during the day, but she doesn't always feel safe enough to poop when they walk her (my guess), and then she poops in my parents' house. I had volunteered to keep her upstairs with us while my sister's at work, at least some of the time, but she chews the kids' toys and poops up here, too. When my sister gets home, she'll take her for a walk around the block, but that's it. Then she gets mad at my parents for not playing with the dog enough during the day, when the dog keeps my sister up at night. She also says its their fault if the dog poops in the house.
Anyway. You can see that I have a lot of resentment over this. We recently asked her to start contributing towards utilities and she said, "Well, I'll have to calculate how much water/electricity I actually use, and I only have the one small bedroom..." I'm trying to separate out my desire to control her behavior and manipulate her from my desire to protect my kids. The dog nipped at my sister's face two days ago - I was there but couldn't tell if it was aggressive, territorial, or just because she was excited. I'm afraid that one of my kids will be bitten, but I don't see my sister doing anything about it. I'm considering telling her that I can't let the kids be alone with her dog until she has the dog evaluated by a professional (which means they can't walk her during the day), but I'm unsure if I'm just trying to be manipulative, or if that's a reasonable boundary to set.
I'm sorry this is so long.. I just wanted to give enough background so you guys could get the big picture. What do you guys think? What would you do?
Thanks!
My sister adopted a dog last fall - a 2 year old pug/JRT mix. She asked us all to give her the okay and after reading the dog's description on the shelter's website, I told her that I had major reservations - she was described as shy and not okay with cats. Since she got her dog, she has not done any training with her whatsoever. The dog jumps on all the furniture at will, and often jumps on my mother's lap which is painful for her. She starts territorial fights with my dog. She jumps up on people when they're walking, and she nips a lot. Now, some of that is playful puppy stuff, I know. But she's also very fearful and will balk at the strangest things. She will also cower on my father's or my sister's laps sometimes. I've told her many, many times that I can see things worsening until she bites one of my kids, unless she does some major work.
My sister's not willing to do any work with her dog. She frequently walks her for under five minutes in the morning before rushing off to work, insisting that my father take her for a walk. My boys walk the dog during the day, but she doesn't always feel safe enough to poop when they walk her (my guess), and then she poops in my parents' house. I had volunteered to keep her upstairs with us while my sister's at work, at least some of the time, but she chews the kids' toys and poops up here, too. When my sister gets home, she'll take her for a walk around the block, but that's it. Then she gets mad at my parents for not playing with the dog enough during the day, when the dog keeps my sister up at night. She also says its their fault if the dog poops in the house.
Anyway. You can see that I have a lot of resentment over this. We recently asked her to start contributing towards utilities and she said, "Well, I'll have to calculate how much water/electricity I actually use, and I only have the one small bedroom..." I'm trying to separate out my desire to control her behavior and manipulate her from my desire to protect my kids. The dog nipped at my sister's face two days ago - I was there but couldn't tell if it was aggressive, territorial, or just because she was excited. I'm afraid that one of my kids will be bitten, but I don't see my sister doing anything about it. I'm considering telling her that I can't let the kids be alone with her dog until she has the dog evaluated by a professional (which means they can't walk her during the day), but I'm unsure if I'm just trying to be manipulative, or if that's a reasonable boundary to set.
I'm sorry this is so long.. I just wanted to give enough background so you guys could get the big picture. What do you guys think? What would you do?
Thanks!