Housekeeper - WWYD?

[basil]

When we had our first DC, I insisted to my DH that we hire a housekeeper.

The first one we hired cleaned very well. We found her from Care.com. Single mom in her early 30s. She charged $100 a week. She did all laundry, put all away, organized pantry, put away stuff we bought in bulk from Costco plus all the regular cleaning. Unfortunately, she also started stealing from us. Small bizarre things like a 2 pack of tank tops or a new pair of baby jeans. Nevertheless, we had to let her go.

We found a new one through word of mouth. She is the daughter of a friend's housekeeper, and in her early 20s, just married. She also works at the mall but is trying to build a housekeeping business. She charges $120 a week, albeit for a bigger house than housekeeper #1, but doesn't stay nearly as long. I think she arrives around 9:30 or 10 and leaves at 1:30 or so. She does not do the laundry but generally folds and puts it away. She does not really help us organize at all. She frequently skips steps like vacuuming under the coffee table, wiping down the burners on the stove, or picking up the hair in the drain of the shower. She also does annoying things like instead of hanging up a dress, she will throw it in the laundry. Even if it still has tags on it. I've addressed these things with her multiple times but it doesn't seem to change.

My DH wanted to start paying her social security taxes because he doesn't like paying under the table. She refused to fill out the W4 form, and sent a note back from her FIL (?) saying how it didn't apply, but that's clearly wrong.

Last week I had a very busy week, so I left the dishwasher clean and a load of dirty dishes in the sink to be put in the dishwasher. She wrote a note that if our house was going to be so messy, we should pay her $140. I disagree, and think she should suck up an extra 20 min worth of work once in a while.

This week our house was the normal level of messiness, but she left a note saying how she had a doctor's appointment and didn't have time to fold any of the laundry. DH thinks this is retaliation for not agreeing to a raise.

My DH wants her gone. I'm frustrated too. But all the services we've contacted (and I think we need a service because of DH's under-the-table phobia) want $190+ weekly, and standard is 3 people for 1.5 hours. An extra $70 a month is a lot, plus that is more per hour than we are currently paying. Which I already think is a lot per hour.

WWYD??

[Green_Tea]

:popc1:

[SnuggleBuggles]

Keep looking and let this one go.

[wellyes]

It's already kind of awkward, I'd let her go and search for a new one.

I assume you have to pay more for "over the table" because of the tax implications for the service provider?

$30 an hour doesn't seem crazy to me for the service you receive. I used to have a weekly cleaning lady who charged $70/week for 2 hours, and based on previous threads, I think that is in the normal range for a weekly cleaner.

[hillview]

I'd let her go, it doesn't sound like it will work out. How big is your house? Is it weekly cleaning? Do you live in a HCOL area?

We had a cleaning person once a week, we have about 3k sq feet, we live in a fairly HCOL (but not NYC) and paid someone $120 but that DID NOT include laundry.

[gatorsmom]

I thnk the only way this could work any more is to sit down with her and start over. Explain exactly what you want her to do every week and ask her how much money she wants for this work. Let her know you expect her to come at the same time every week and stay for approximately the same amount of time each week. See what she says. If her price has gone up and you can't afford her new amount, call it quits right then and there. Pay her remaining pay owed to her and wish her luck. Then start asking around again.

Gl!

[elbenn]

Can you try to find another one through word of mouth/recommendations from people you know?

[happymomma]

I would just find someone new because the relationship has soured already. If I had someone at my house it has to be someone that I can trust.

[basil]

I'm not sure what GreenTea meant by that symbol? :confused:

We have 3400 sq ft...but there are 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms that really only need attention once in a month when we have guests stay over.

Medium COL area I guess.

[wellyes]

I'm not sure what GreenTea meant by that symbol? :confused:

Aw, it's not bad. It just means 'I'm watching to see what the answers are because I am interested' (it's an easy way to subscribe to a thread).

[hillview]

I'm not sure what GreenTea meant by that symbol? :confused:

We have 3400 sq ft...but there are 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms that really only need attention once in a month when we have guests stay over.

Medium COL area I guess.
that means someone is watching the thread because they are interested :)

[gatorsmom]

I'm not sure what GreenTea meant by that symbol? :confused:

We have 3400 sq ft...but there are 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms that really only need attention once in a month when we have guests stay over.

Medium COL area I guess.


IMO, if you think you can salvage this relationship with your current housekeeper, the best way to do that is explain exactly what you want done and how often. So, if you want specific bathrooms done once per month stick with that. Don't let her make that judgment call. I'd say too, that if you don't want her to make judgment calls you don't approve of about what clothes get washed and what gets hung back up, you should clarify that only the clothes in the laundry hampers go in the wash. Any clothes on the floor need to be hung up again. The more specific you are the better. I've even gone so far as to put it all in writing and left a copy out each time they clean, just to clear up any questions. In this way, if they dot follow directions, you should feel no guilt in firing them.

[knaidel]

I don't know if this would make a difference to you.....regarding under the table work:

There is a certain amount that your housekeeper would have to be paid on an annual basis before it would be an obligation for you to pay employment taxes for her. It's around $4-5K, I think. So, if you found someone under the table, less expensive, then you wouldn't be doing anything wrong.

My husband is paranoid about this stuff, because due to his position, he is more likely to get audited than your average Joe. We have a cleaning person come twice a week, for a weekly total of around 5 or 6 hours at $12.50 an hour. Over the course of the year, she will earn less than the threshold amount, so we have no obligation to file FICA, etc for her. If she claims this money or not--- is not our problem.

HTH!

[minnie-zb]

I believe the threshold is $1800 for withholding taxes. I'm sure someone will know.

[Pennylane]

I would speak to her first and if you can't come to some type of understanding, let her go. There is no way that one person can clean a 3400 sq ft home in 3 hours plus do laundry and organize. Either you need to expect less or pay her more to stay longer.

Ann

[BunnyBee]

I believe the threshold is $1800 for withholding taxes. I'm sure someone will know.

I agree. My understanding is that it's $1800 a year or more than $1000 in any quarter.

OP, it doesn't sound like she is doing things to your satisfaction, so I'd move on and find someone else. No need to get detailed, just "Thank you; we no longer need your services."

[hillview]

I would speak to her first and if you can't come to some type of understanding, let her go. There is no way that one person can clean a 3400 sq ft home in 3 hours plus do laundry and organize. Either you need to expect less or pay her more to stay longer.

Ann
:yeahthat: I kind of have to agree that is a little too much to expect in 3 hours. I have a cleaning person who comes to clean and comes a second time to do laundry.

[minnie-zb]

I think what you should do is figure out what you want any housekeeper to do on a regular basis. If you have rooms which don't need cleaning regularly, I would request they not be cleaned. They should be treated separately.

I have to ask, does everyone get their housekeeper to fold their laundry? I know folding my laundry takes some serious time and I'm not sure if that's an effective use of her time. I guess another thought which comes to mind, are you picking up and straightening before she arrives? I know we always have to do a lot of prep work prior to the housekeeper coming -- I figure she can't clean if we have piles of stuff lying around, etc.

Maybe I make things too easy for my housekeeper.

[knaidel]

I have to ask, does everyone get their housekeeper to fold their laundry? I know folding my laundry takes some serious time and I'm not sure if that's an effective use of her time. I guess another thought which comes to mind, are you picking up and straightening before she arrives? I know we always have to do a lot of prep work prior to the housekeeper coming -- I figure she can't clean if we have piles of stuff lying around, etc.

Maybe I make things too easy for my housekeeper.

First off, I had no idea that the threshold was $1800. I thought it was higher. Uh-oh!


Yes, I totally have my housekeeper fold laundry. No question about it! The truth is, I should get up and fold some laundry myself now!

Yes, I also do prep before she comes-- she can't clean the floor if my kids lego farm is all over the place.

[dhano923]

Housekeepers who come once a week or once every 2 weeks generally don't do organizational stuff, at least around here. They come to clean the house. Mine comes every 2 weeks to clean the house. We have 5bd, 3 bath in 2900 sqft. If I want her to clean the guest room (rarely used so no need to each time), I add $20. if I want her to clean the fridge I add $10. She's here to vacuum, mop, dust, clean the bathrooms, and make the beds. She will change the bed sheets if I lead them on the beds, and she'll put the dirty sheets in the laundry room. It's not her job as a cleaning lady to organize.

I think you are expecting too much from your cleaning lady. If you want her to go beyond cleaning, then you'll need to compensate her.

[jgenie]

I agree that that is a lot to expect to be done in three hours.


I think what you should do is figure out what you want any housekeeper to do on a regular basis. If you have rooms which don't need cleaning regularly, I would request they not be cleaned. They should be treated separately.

I have to ask, does everyone get their housekeeper to fold their laundry? I know folding my laundry takes some serious time and I'm not sure if that's an effective use of her time. I guess another thought which comes to mind, are you picking up and straightening before she arrives? I know we always have to do a lot of prep work prior to the housekeeper coming -- I figure she can't clean if we have piles of stuff lying around, etc.

Maybe I make things too easy for my housekeeper.

I don't have my housekeeper do laundry. If she finishes her regular work early and my boys aren't here begging for her attention, she will check the laundry room and switch things out or fold if there is something in the dryer.

[musicalgrl]

I find that once a relationship like that sours because of money, it can be tough to ever get it back to the way it was in the very beginning.

[squimp]

It sounds like $40 an hour for three hours, which seems maybe a little high but reasonable based on what I have heard on the boards. When I had a cleaner she charged $20/hour but I felt like that was too little so I always gave her more. I would probably try to come to some sort of agreement, but I would be a little wary and if she didn't meet my expectations I might try to find someone new.

[TxCat]

I think you may be expecting too much in a given time frame from your current housekeeper.

Our house is pretty close to the size of the OP's, and we are in a medium COL area. Our housekeeper charges about $25/hour (we agreed on a weekly salary and I think she stays 3-4 hours per visit, so it works out to $25-30/hour). I was specific on which rooms need to be cleaned regularly (two guest bedrooms that get little use don't need to be cleaned every week). She doesn't do any organizational stuff for us, nor do I expect her/ask her to. I prefer that she doesn't wash dishes/unload dishwasher or do laundry (I'm very specific about those things and prefer to do it myself) so I usually take care of those things myself (however, I do have my nanny fold laundry for us a significant portion of the time). Our housekeeper usually washes the dirty towels and sheets when she changes them - I never asked her too, but I think that's her routine elsewhere, and she keeps doing it here.

Personally, I'd let go of the current housekeeper and just explain that it's not working out, which it isn't. And then I'd start looking around again - talk to neighbors, coworkers, other parents at your church or school, etc. Personally I prefer one individual to the teams sent by agencies, but that's just me. I'd also discuss with your DH what exactly you need to have done - come up with a specific list of your non-negotiables and then you desired jobs, but more optional. When you interview new candidates, go through every room and go through your list and see what they quote you. But I think approximately 4 hours at around $30/hour for all that you are asking for is reasonable.

[hellokitty]

I think that you need to start over with a new housekeeper. It sounds like things aren't going to work out with this girl and I would not be happy that she has a grouchy attitude about dishes in the sink being, "too messy." The good thing about having gone through two housekeepers already is that it gives you a chance to realize what you do and don't want in a housekeeper. I'd start asking friends for referrals and I would draw up a very specific list of what your expectations are, what is acceptable, what isn't acceptable (I would include things light stuff that might not be cleaned every time, but maybe every other month, etc., like deep cleaning light fixtures, I had a friend who got into with her housekeeper over this, since he didn't think that he should do it). So, this next time around, it is very clear from the very beginning what is to be expected, the rate, how long you think he/she should be there to complete the tasks, etc.. I'd maybe also let the new one know that you will have a trial basis for a month or two and then go from there, it gives you more flexibility in case it's a bad match. Good luck finding a new housekeeper. I hope that the third one is the charm.

[Tondi G]

I think you need to hire someone new. When you do you need to decide exactly what you want done when they come and explain it to them.

We have a housekeeper who comes every other week. She arrives at 8 am and leaves around noon. We live in a 2 bdrm, 1 bath apartment. Living room, dining room, kitchen, bath, 2 bed rooms and a laundry room. She strips the beds and washes the sheets (and blankets if needed), she cleans the stove, does dishes in the sink and runs the dishwasher when she leaves, she cleans the bathroom (sink, toilet, tub/shower). She will usually wash the towels as well. She sweeps all of the floors (we have hardwood and tile) and mops the whole house. Occasionally she will take down curtains, wash and put them back up. sometimes she will clean ceiling fan blades. every other week I take the opportunity to clean out my fridge ... she will remove shelves and drawers and wash them out. Sometimes if we have a load of laundry in the dryer when she is there, she will fold those clothes and pile them up so I can put it all away. She doesn't organize ... actually I will often find myself organizing after she has left because she will pile up stuff that is on the floor etc all together so she can sweep and mop.

The cleaning team of 3 people might be your best bet .... or ask around and see if anyone else had recommendations.

Oops I forgot to add that we pay her $75.

[minnie-zb]

Thanks for the nudge -- I called and set up a service to start next week. I've been putting this off for the longest time.

Here's an idea on cost for me. Our home is @2300 square feet. We have 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, no basement. My quote for biweekly cleaning is $100-$120 and will be 2 people. They did not quote a time, but I will guess 2 hours. No laundry, just cleaning. We live in a HCOL.

I'd call around and ask questions. Check out Angie's List if you use it (I also looked at Yelp). It did help narrow the choice for me.

[westwoodmom04]

I think housekeeping prices are very location-specific and not necessarily dependent on COL (we paid less in SoCal than we do now in Maryland, but there was a larger supply of people looking for housekeeping work there). We have a team of 3 people (husband/wife and worker, not from an agency). They come for 2 hours every other week and I pay them $160 (was $120 when they came every week, but they were here then for 1.5 hours). All they do is clean (a 3200 square foot area), take out all garbage, and change the sheets in every bedroom. They will not do laundry, mostly because they are not here long enough to wash and dry a load. The price may be a bit high, but we have been using them for 6 years, so I felt an increase or two was justified.

It sounds like your current housekeeper is not meeting your expectations. I agree with others that you may be expecting to much for the time that she is there. In any case, the relationship has clearly soured and you will be happier with someone new.

[Octobermommy]

When I had a housekeeper she came one day a week to clean for about $22 an hour. I also had her come back on a different day to fold and put up laundry. I had already done the laundry and piled it on a guest bed. For this I paid her $12 an hour. Totally worth it at the time when I was working outside the home.

Would that work out? To have her come one day to deep clean (at a higher hourly rate) and one day to do laundry and organize (at a lower hourly rate)?