For those who bought or sold a home without a realtor or from someone you knew

[magnoliaparadise]

Hi,

I have the opportunity to buy a home from a former neighbor from childhood and neither of us will have a realtor. If I do it, it will move very quickly (I have not seen the house yet, but will travel to see it in a couple of weeks).

I would love to hear from those who have bought (especially) or sold a home without a realtor. I would have a lot of needs in the process so I'm wondering if it is worth it to pay any realtor for the guidance (ie I would need to research how much to suggest to offer or negotiate and to find an inspector and real estate attorney). Also, the house would be a total fixer upper / gut renovation on the inside, so I would need to find a foreman and/or a renovation contractor, electrician, plumber, etc. and I don't know the area anymore; Perhaps a realtor is worth their weight in gold in referrals alone. On the other hand, 5% of the cost of the house is a lot of money if I found it myself and decide that I don't need a realtor.

I would also love to hear from those who have bought or sold a home from someone you know. In this circumstance, it is ideal in some ways (probably price range is right; location is good; and from what I know about houses in the area built with a simlar layout, it is suitable). In other ways, though, I am starting to think that even if everything else is right, it may be too weird for me to buy it. As I mentioned, this house is in a neighborhood that I lived in at one time as a child. I wasn't close friends with the children and don't remember even entering the house, but I knew them and their parents. Now, one of the parents is in a nursing home and the other sadly died unexpectedly and something feels sad to buy their house, even if that is what the now grown children want and the price is fair - I'm wondering whether I would feel like there was bad energy in the house (sorry to sound so woo woo - not saying it is bad energy because of the family, but because of my sadness for the parents of the family) and I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable living in the house remembering so well that I knew it as the (fill in neighbor's last name here)'s house for so many years. And the whole 'circle of life' things seems a little too close for comfort. It's as if I could live there and be looking at my daughters' friends/neighbors and wondering who is going to buy the house when I'm old, ewwwww.

Now, I know, technically, that there are many homes that I might choose to put in an offer which have a similar history - happy family gets older; parents go to a nursing home or pass away; and the house gets sold to a new, young family. But I guess because I don't know the personal history of those houses, I can move in with the false construct in my head that the house is 'totally' mine without a past.

I'd love any thoughts you have on either on no realtor or buying/selling from someone you know. TIA.

[niccig]

Now, I know, technically, that there are many homes that I might choose to put in an offer which have a similar history - happy family gets older; parents go to a nursing home or pass away; and the house gets sold to a new, young family. But I guess because I don't know the personal history of those houses, I can move in with the false construct in my head that the house is 'totally' mine without a past.

I'd love any thoughts you have on either on no realtor or buying/selling from someone you know. TIA.

Can't help on the realtor question, but as for buying a house from someone you know. Rather than feel sad for the family, they're probably glad that someone they know will continue to care for the house and will raise their family there.

[brittone2]

We bought our last house without a realtor. It did have frustrating and awkward moments...PO and her DH had the house built, she was very attached to it, etc. Her husband passed away in the home, and she was downsizing after his passing. So the house was kind of emotionally loaded for her, she was valuing it a bit higher than it was worth in reality, etc. She had a realtor come through and give her a #, but hadn't signed anything with him. That # was most definitely, definitely high, and I think he was just telling her what she wanted to hear. In any case, we both ended up using attorneys (her son is a big wig attorney, we hired our own attorney). Things went fine, but it was more emotionally older than past transactions we've had, since we were dealing directly with the owner and her son.

We did not have to deal with major renovations, so didn't need info on contractors and subs.

After buying and selling several other homes, I really am not interested in using an inspector recommended by the realtor. Thankfully we never had a major issue, but at this point, I would rather identify and use someone we select on our own. Do you have enough connections to find someone on your own by any chance? I asked around and we basically found the pickiest inspector we could possibly find. DH is pretty handy, grew up helping his dad build their family homes, etc. He always knows what to ask the inspectors and so forth, but he really felt this guy went above and beyond, and was very, very thorough compared to some of our past experiences. I guess at this point, I just really would rather select someone on my own. I have concerns that sometimes the inspector might just be someone the agent knows well, but perhaps isn't the most thorough....and in some cases, I think there's some incentive to just get the deal to close. Again, our agents never did anything that made us feel that way, but I prefer to take it into our own hands. I also think I'd probably try to find word of mouth recommendations for the trades needed...a challenge for sure, but I don't know if a realtor's recommendation would strongly influence me at this point.

In our neighborhood, there are a lot of original owners from the late 1980s. Many of them have children who are now out of the home. Some of the owners are on the older side (60-70+ yo). THey seem to really enjoy seeing young families moving into the neighborhood, and they tell me it brings them a lot of joy to see the kids riding in the cul de sac that their children rode in, etc.

Best of luck to you!! I understand where you are coming from with the realtor, and it may be worthwhile in your case.

[wellyes]

I agree with brittone, you are better off with an independent inspector vs a realtor recommended one.

In your shoes, I am not sure what value a reactor can provide. You've doubt the property already. Getting comps isn't the big financial question due to the renovations needed.

Here is what we did when we bought a fixer upper house from an acquaintance. Figured out a rough market value if the house was in good shape. Had a very experienced pro contractor come in to look it over (with the consent of the homeowners of course) for a quote on repairs. Wrote a letter to the homeowners offering them fair market value minus the amount of the quote and minus the 6% realtor fee. Call that pain and suffering of living in a house during renovations. They accepted. And that point, we hired an inspector. Based on his findings, we lowered our offer by a few grand. They accepted. We both hired lawyers, and, that was it!

It all worked out really well for us.

Good luck.