WWYD: City politics and neighbors

[niccig]

Neighbor A- lives a few houses up the road, in his 70's, at every city meeting disagreeing with things, is running for a 2nd time for city council. I know he's a republican from November election, I'm as left as you can get. He asks if he can put a sign in our yard. I was put on the spot, and didn't have a great answer, so said fine. Thinking that while disagree with how he wants things to get done, don't disagree with end he wants and no chance he'll get elected (my first mistake, I should have fessed up that disagree with him).

Neighbor B - lives next door to neighbor A and is going around to all houses/businesses with his sign to tell us that Neighbor A has 3 criminal convictions. The most concerning to her is his trespassing on her land to cut down tree branch - apparently ongoing dispute and he decided to cut it down, which is against the law. Also 2 misdemeanors for lewd act in public with another man over 25 years ago (2 separate occasions). That was the big scandal in the last election, he then came out and said he was gay and forced to admit it to his family, he's been married for 40yrs. I don't keep up on local news or elections, rarely vote actually, which isn't good of me. Neighbor B wants everyone to take neighbour A's sign down or at least be informed. I get she's very upset that he was harassing them about tree branch and then trespassed (it was 6 yrs ago). I don't live next to him, but could seem him as difficult neighbor complaining about everything.

DH isn't so happy about having Neighbour A's sign as disagree politically, even though DH isn't as left as I am.

I say if take sign down, have to explain to A. why and don't want him to think it's due to his sexual orientation, but he's got to know that B. is canvassing the neighborhood telling everyone about his misdeeds.

I should have just stayed out of all of this but saying No to the sign.

[hillview]

wow. What a pickle. I would either leave the sign and move on. OR if DH was really against it, I'd invite the neighbor over for tea and discuss.

[wendmatt]

I would take it down and when you see him just say there was some neighborhood drama that you didn't want to get involved it.

[ellies mom]

Wow. What a mess. Honestly, I'd be annoyed with Neighbor B and might consider keeping the sign up out of spite. I would at some point be honest with neighbor A about disagreeing politically. But neighbor B is basically bullying neighbor A and I'd have problems with that.

[wellyes]

Put up a sign for neighbor a's competition too?

[Kindra178]

wow. What a pickle. I would either leave the sign and move on. OR if DH was really against it, I'd invite the neighbor over for tea and discuss.

Like HV said, leave the sign. It's not worth the hassle in dealing with it. Your friends already know you are more liberal, so I wouldn't worry what anyone else may think.

[lalasmama]

I would take it down and when you see him just say there was some neighborhood drama that you didn't want to get involved it.

:yeahthat:

[hwin708]

Wow. What a mess. Honestly, I'd be annoyed with Neighbor B and might consider keeping the sign up out of spite. I would at some point be honest with neighbor A about disagreeing politically. But neighbor B is basically bullying neighbor A and I'd have problems with that.
Ditto.

I don't think you can assume that NB is in the right even over the tree incident, since I can imagine a lot of people here posting about their neighbors refusing to trim a tree that is posing a danger to their own home. Who knows what the real story is in a he said, she said. And given that it was 6 YEARS AGO, and this person is still so steamed that they would traipse all over town trying to destroy this man's campaign, and is referencing his past sexual incidents, I would feel like there was a sense of homophobia to the whole thing. No way I would align myself with anyone like that.

But in your shoes, I would take this moment to brush up on your local politics. Find out who his opposition is, and determine if you really wouldn't vote for him before deciding to take down the sign. It doesn't seem like you and your DH have any greater basis than him being a Republican. It could be different where you live, but my city council is not very partisan. They are pretty removed from that national level of politics. In terms of city council members, I vote for ones who are extremely vocal and extremely "finicky" about their district, and try to avoid the ones with signs of cronyism (which is common from both parties).

[MamaMolly]

I think neighbor B's behavior is shameful. What a gossip monger!! Going around to homes and businesses and bad mouthing neighbor A? I hope she's considered the legal risks there and is being VERY careful with what she says.

Anyway, Since neighbor A had a conviction for the offense against Neighbor B I would imagine that he's since paid his debt to society in one way or another and it is over and done. I mean really, muck raking over a TREE BRANCH?!

And then the whole gay thing. I really don't care what 2 consenting adults did a quarter of a century ago.

OP I feel for you. This is an icky situation to be in! If you want to take the sign down I think your DH gave you a perfect out. Call Neighbor B and let him know that you are really sorry, but you agreed to the sign without discussing it with your DH first, and he'd rather you not have the sign in the yard. Offer to drop it off at his house, and take a plate of cookies or something.

[BunnyBee]

Can you accidentally run it over?

[niccig]

I didn't know I lived in a place rife with political mudraking...and by all sides. In doing a little more searching, turns out when A was outed, he then accused another candidate for being gay and called him like Adolf Hitler. Turns out the council member that outed him, has now been indicted on fraud charges. Many of the city council meetings are on youtube. A. rambles and alluded to several political conspiracies against him, it sounded very paranoid. But A. is also getting dragged through things and was outed in a very public manner, I feel for him over that, it was in all the local press (now that I've searched, I've found it all).

Wow, I'm never get involved in local politics.

[hellokitty]

That's a lot of neighborhood drama! I would take the sign down and if he asks why, tell him that someone stole it. That's the cowardly answer, of course. I know that you don't want him to feel like you are not wanting to put it up due to his sexual orientation, but at this point, I think that this guy as a pkg sounds like a real piece of work. I wouldn't want to be associated with him at all, regarding his political behavior.

[Globetrotter]

:yeahthat:

But I also wouldn't want B to think it was due to homophobia.

[niccig]

:yeahthat:

But I also wouldn't want B to think it was due to homophobia.

This is my quandary.

I'm leaning more and more to not being able to support A's sign as don't agree with his political views - I agree with where he wants the city to be, but nto how he wants to get there or how conducts himself, at least from what I saw on the youtube videos. I dont' think he can work with others of opposing views.

But don't want B to think she's getting her way either as I don't agree with her going around giving out copies of public information on his misdemeanors. I agree there's some very bad blood there over a tree branch. Granted it is trespassing to go onto someone's property and do not condone A doing that at all (anything tick against in his column). But I bet anything there's another side to that story as well.

I really really should have no about the sign. If I'm ever asked again I'll ask to be given all their political views and say have to discuss with DH before deciding.

But I'm still stuck with where I'm at.

[crl]

I think I'd call him up and say dh doesn't want political signs in your yard and you will need to take it down, does he want it back? I'd only say that though if you are willing to forgo future political signs in your yard.

Catherine

[Globetrotter]

I was just going to say blame it on dh :) assuming he is okay with that!

Then call B and say that you wanted to make it clear that you removed the sign for various reasons but you don't approve of homophobia. I have confronted people like that if I'm passionate about something. Just a thought..

[TwinFoxes]

I was just going to say blame it on dh :) assuming he is okay with that!

Then call B and say that you wanted to make it clear that you removed the sign for various reasons but you don't approve of homophobia. I have confronted people like that if I'm passionate about something. Just a thought..

:yeahthat: Although if I were in your situation I'd take some of the heat and say "I shouldn't have said yes, I forgot DH doesn't like political signs in our yard".

Your neighborhood sounds wild!

[niccig]

Your neighborhood sounds wild!

I had no idea this was all going on. We were living here during the 2006 tree branch/trespassing incident and during the 2011 election when A was publicly outed...they do live several houses up the road and it's a big community..DS doesn't go to the local school, so maybe why we're just not hooked into the local news mill.

[LizLemon]

Could you put up a sign for another very liberal candidate in your yard as well?

[ahisma]

Local level politics do tend to be very dramatic.

If anything mysteriously happens to the sign, he'll just show up with another. I'm sure he has a substantial supply of them.

I'd take down his sign and put up a gay rights sign instead.

Send him a heartfelt email and telling him that you are conflicted, but chose to take it down because his politics aren't in line with your own. Tell him that your initial reaction was based on your sentiments towards him as a person and ask him to let you know if there is anything that you can do to support in him an individual, non-political capacity.