Where would DS come up with this?

[MSWR0319]

The other post got me thinking about this again.

A few weeks ago DS (4) was running around in his room naked after his bath. He was supposed to be getting his jammies on, but instead thought he should pretend to be flying. I was sitting in there and told him to get his jammies on, it was time for bed. He replied with "No, I'm going to stick my penis in your mouth" in a defiant I'm not listening to you tone. I was utterly appalled and took a few minutes to regain my composure. I asked him where he heard that and he said he made it up. How does a 4 year old make that up? When we were rocking and reading his story before bed. I asked him if anyone had ever touched him or asked him to put his penis in their mouth and he said no. I asked if anyone had told him that at school and he said no, I just made it up. We went over the whole private part talk again and that no one should touch him. He also told DH that the following night when he was running around naked and was told to get dressed. DH asked him where he came up with it and he said he made it up. We've never heard him say it again.

It really bothers me and I just can't figure out where he would get it. He doesn't watch TV unless it's a cartoon I put on. He doesn't have access to the computer and the only people he is ever left with is preschool, my mom, me or DH. I had kind of forgotten about it until the post last night and now I can't get it out of my head. I wish I could figure out where he came up with it. How would you handle this situation??

[hillview]

um yeah that would concern me as well. I would agree with you that I wouldn't be able to initially assume he just made it up out of thin air. I guess I would start thinking about who is caring for him.

ETA Ok so I found this, it may be a little over the top but if it were my DS it is what I'd be looking at
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault/child-sexual-abuse/if-you-suspect

ETA2: I am NOT saying anything happened to your son, just that I would also be concerned.

[Tondi G]

I had my little guy tell me he was gonna stick his penis in my ear before.... I think sometimes they are riled up, running around naked and spit out the first thing that comes to mind. I'm gonna pee on you, I'm gonna stick my penis in your mouth or ear or eye. Chances are it is probably innocent but you can attempt to look at the people who are caring for him. If he repeated it to your DH, he probably realized that it got your attention so he decided to throw it at Daddy too, to see how he would react.

I think you handled it well... turning it into a discussion about private parts and that no one should be touching his parts and that if he feels uncomfortable in any situation that he should say NO and tell you or DH.

[AngB]

I had my little guy tell me he was gonna stick his penis in my ear before.... I think sometimes they are riled up, running around naked and spit out the first thing that comes to mind. I'm gonna pee on you, I'm gonna stick my penis in your mouth or ear or eye. Chances are it is probably innocent but you can attempt to look at the people who are caring for him. If he repeated it to your DH, he probably realized that it got your attention so he decided to throw it at Daddy too, to see how he would react.

I think you handled it well... turning it into a discussion about private parts and that no one should be touching his parts and that if he feels uncomfortable in any situation that he should say NO and tell you or DH.

This was my thought too, but I don't have kids that age or much experience with kids around that age. Though I can definitely see why you would be concerned.

[Sweetum]

Thanks for the link, Hill. It was informative and a good reminder of how to handle the situation. I am always concerned since DS sees a ton of therapists. They are all women but sometimes we have a man. It is good, but the it is a bit tricky too. So, I'm always watching like a hawk, but then there will always be times when I cannot be there, so it helps to know how to talk.

OP, I don't have advice to offer but hope you are feeling better and that your DS is safe.

[Green_Tea]

I had my little guy tell me he was gonna stick his penis in my ear before.... I think sometimes they are riled up, running around naked and spit out the first thing that comes to mind. I'm gonna pee on you, I'm gonna stick my penis in your mouth or ear or eye. Chances are it is probably innocent but you can attempt to look at the people who are caring for him. If he repeated it to your DH, he probably realized that it got your attention so he decided to throw it at Daddy too, to see how he would react.

I think you handled it well... turning it into a discussion about private parts and that no one should be touching his parts and that if he feels uncomfortable in any situation that he should say NO and tell you or DH.

:yeahthat:

I agree with this. IME little boys think penises are funny, and just...say things like that. I don't think it's the same as a specific, explicit story about something someone has done them or that they've experienced (like the other thread). It sounds like you handled it well.

ETA: Not trying to sound dismissive. It sounds like you trust all the adults who spend time with your DS, and I think kids DO sometimes say things like that and have no idea of the implications. For many kids their penises are no more significant than their feet, or their elbows - so they don't understand that saying something about putting it in someone's mouth might set off alarm bells!

[janine]

:yeahthat:

I agree with this. IME little boys think penises are funny, and just...say things like that. I don't think it's the same as a specific, explicit story about something someone has done them or that they've experienced (like the other thread). It sounds like you handled it well.

ETA: Not trying to sound dismissive. It sounds like you trust all the adults who spend time with your DS, and I think kids DO sometimes say things like that and have no idea of the implications. For many kids their penises are no more significant than their feet, or their elbows - so they don't understand that saying something about putting it in someone's mouth might set off alarm bells!

Agree with this too. Now I don't have boys, but just reading this it seems like something just came out of his mouth. I mean if a child said, I'm going to stick my tongue in your ear that wouldn't lead to thoughts of how did he/she learn that right. I'm assuming you taught him "penis" and probably your initial reaction was what led to him repeating it. I think you did the right thing to ask all the questions, but his answers have been consistent so I think I'd be ok with it.

[queenmama]

:yeahthat:

I agree with this. IME little boys think penises are funny, and just...say things like that. I don't think it's the same as a specific, explicit story about something someone has done them or that they've experienced (like the other thread). It sounds like you handled it well.

ETA: Not trying to sound dismissive. It sounds like you trust all the adults who spend time with your DS, and I think kids DO sometimes say things like that and have no idea of the implications. For many kids their penises are no more significant than their feet, or their elbows - so they don't understand that saying something about putting it in someone's mouth might set off alarm bells!

I agree with all of this!

Lara

[MSWR0319]

Thanks everyone! It made me feel better. He is going through a stage where he'll say things like "I'm going to pee on your leg" and such. He does seem to think penis's are funny right now so that's probably what started it. I tried not to react the first time, but I'm sure I probably did enough that it caused him to try it again. DH overreact totally.

Thanks for the link hillview! I wasn't sure what exactly I should be asking him to make sure nothing was going on. I'm SAHM and he's in school for two hours three times a week. There are two teachers for 8 kids and there's no door on the bathroom, so I feel pretty good that there's nothing going on at school. He's never had a sitter other than my mom and the only other person he's with is DH (not that either of them couldn't do something, but I don't think they have). I guess I'll chalk it up to silliness and keep my eyes and ears on the look out.

[maestramommy]

Thanks everyone! It made me feel better. He is going through a stage where he'll say things like "I'm going to pee on your leg" and such. He does seem to think penis's are funny right now so that's probably what started it.

My younger two think "vulvas" are hilarious right now. sigh

[mmommy]

My younger two think "vulvas" are hilarious right now. sigh

:yeahthat: my 3.5 yo DD1 would say something like this. Tonight at dinner she was talking about putting asparagus in...and then listing body parts. Ears, eyeballs (which she has a strange fascination with right now), vulvas, toes, whatever. I think they see what makes you cringe and then double-up on that for impact sometimes.
Obviously you want to make sure our kiddo is safe, but if you've accounted for all o f his whereabouts, just chalk it up to the age and try not to react.