Hard time with sleep training - not what you'd think

[urbanmommy]

So, we started sleep training dd2, 11 mo, this weekend. (She'd been co-sleeping with me until now)It's gone great. She slept through the first night and only woke up once the past two nights. Fantastic, right?

But me, on the other hand, I'm a wreck. I cried the whole first night and haven't slept well the last two nights. I miss her so much. For my dh I think its very matter-of-fact that she's almost a year and its time to get her in her crib and from a practical standpoint he's right but I just feel this sadness that this part of my life is over as I know we won't have a 3rd. I know it will get easier over time just having a hard time now.

Just had to get this out somewhere as dh is not that sympathetic.

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[sunshine873]

Awe, that's kind of sweet. I firmly believe in separate sleeping arrangements, so I'm not the one who is going to tell you to bring her back to your bed. But I am sympathetic to you missing her. Frankly, this is probably just one of many times you'll feel that way with her, including when she starts school, has her first sleepover, doesn't want to be seen with you at the mall, goes away to college, etc. Hang in there mama, and take some comfort in the fact that she seems to get enough love and attention from you during the day to be OK on her own at night.

[MSWR0319]

So sorry you're missing her. Maybe some extra snuggling before bed would help you?

What method did you use to sleep train? DS2 needs to be sleep trained soon and I just keep putting it off.

[urbanmommy]

Hang in there mama, and take some comfort in the fact that she seems to get enough love and attention from you during the day to be OK on her own at night.

Part of reason that I think I'm having such an issue with this is I went back to work full time in January so that time at night was really our only time together, just the two of us. For example, this am she was still sleeping when I left for work. I'll get home at around 6 after picking up dd1 from day care, then its time to make dinner and put the girls to bed.
I guess I was just lucky when dd1 because I was able to stay home with her until she was 2.5 and then only went back to work 3 days a week. Wish I could do the same with dd2.



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[urbanmommy]

So sorry you're missing her. Maybe some extra snuggling before bed would help you?

What method did you use to sleep train? DS2 needs to be sleep trained soon and I just keep putting it off.

We're doing Ferber and my husband is the only one who's going in. We have a bedtime routine of nursing, diaper, pjs, rocking and then put her in the crib. She's been crying when we put her down but settling after about 30 minutes with my husband going in for check ins every 5-10 minutes and then sleeping pretty much through the night.

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[ShanaMama]

Hugs! I am right there with you, sleep training DS & missing him in my arms. I actually love snuggling up with his sweet little body melted into mine. He was getting rather impossible at night, tho, so I decided the time had come. I was even considering weaning entirely because I wanted my bed back. At least I now see that I am def not ready to wean him!
Good luck with the nights. Can you carve out any special time for just you & him? I used to nurse Dd2 right when I came home from work & it was our little bonding time plus forced me to put my feet up for a few minutes & breathe.

Eta: oops, I referred to your DD as a boy. Sorry, I wasn't reading carefully.

[123LuckyMom]

Oh, I'm so sorry you're sad! I really didn't like cosleeping at home, but we just went on vacation for a week, and I slept with the kiddos. There was plenty of room, and it was snugly and nice. I miss it, and I sympathize.

[abh5e8]

OP, I totally understand! mine all 3 sleep in their own beds (some nights) and I miss them. could you transition her to a low bed on the floor, so if she wants to come in she can?

even now, on the nights DH works, mine all want to sleep with me (they are 2, 4 and 6) and on the other nights, they usually want to sleep with each other.

i think everyone is different...but you can do some sleep training and still bedshare some of the time. it doesn't have to be all or nothing :)

[smilequeen]

I was always sad when my kids stopped cosleeping. I like sleeping by myself now, but I did enjoy that cuddle time. Every Saturday night we rotate...one of us sleeps upstairs with one of the boys and the other boy sleeps downstairs with the other parent. When DH is out of town, I'll usually let the 2 older boys camp out in my room if they want :)

My 2 year old hates to cosleep. Sort of a bummer. He's in a difficult phase and I'd love to have that once in a while.

Anyway, it gets better. You get used to your own space. But it is hard at first. My kids went back and forth easily...maybe try some weekend naps?

[abh5e8]

(just in case you are looking for options...we used a trundle bed with just a twin mattress, no box springs, so right at the floor. i would lay down with the dc until they fell asleep, then gradually leave sooner and sooner. it worked really well, over a period of nights. they all go to sleep on their own, on the nights dh works. but sometimes they wake early in the am and will come to bed with me/us)