What do you do with kids at out of town weddings?

[WatchingThemGrow]

We have 2 important out of town weddings. They're both people whose weddings we can't miss. We have 3 DC (ages then will be 7,5,4) and we don't know people in either town who would be able to babysit for us.

Obviously the brides/grooms don't have any "babysitters" and all their friends will be at the weddings. They're both about 5-6 hours away, so not close enough to do a day trip and just have a babysitter for a long stretch. I can probably get a Homewood Suites type place for one of them, and maaaaaybe I can drum up a sitter from my cousin's stash. But for the other wedding, it's in a town where they don't know anyone and we don't either.

ACK! How do you attend "no children" out of town weddings when you have 3 children?

[Philly Mom]

I would get a sitter to spend the night with your kids at home.

[acmom]

We have been in that situation several times over the last few years and it is really hard. We have done a couple things for out of town weddings (DH and I were in the bridal party for a couple).

- Whole family traveled to location, but only one of us (one in bridal party attends wedding).
- Brought a babysitter (my aunt) with us to one. She stayed with us at the location for the weekend.
- Traveled to our hometown (8 hr drive) and left the kids with our parents and then traveled to the wedding together. This meant we were away from home for several extra days rather than just the weekend bc of the extra travel (wedding was 4 hrs from our parents).
- One we declined to go (actually one of my bridesmaids weddings, which I felt really bad about) bc we couldn't find a way to make it work with travel and childcare.
- My cousin actually changed her "no kids" request for family so we brought the kids to that one at the urging of the bride and her family, but honestly, that was hard too and might have actually been easier not to bring them.

Good luck - hope you find a good solution that works for everyone!

[trcy]

I have been in that situation a few times. In all cases the couple realized that we had no options so DD was a wedding guest. It was tough with an almost 2 year old. Your DC are older than mine so I think it wouldn't be too bad.

[kerridean]

The one related goes, the other must stay behind. We are military and often live very far from family, so we have no other option for childcare. Otherwise, we just decline.

[hillview]

When the kids were babies I had a local sitter lined up from my cousin. Honestly it was only OK for the wedding itself not the reception, after that DH and I took turns in the room, it wasn't ideal. If you can get a sitter at home to stay with, I'd do that. Alternatively you could TAKE a sitter with you (obviously that is a LOT more$$).

[Kindra178]

I would get a sitter to spend the night with your kids at home.

We have done this.

[Kindra178]

I have been in that situation a few times. In all cases the couple realized that we had no options so DD was a wedding guest. It was tough with an almost 2 year old. Your DC are older than mine so I think it wouldn't be too bad.

My kids have never been invited to any wedding we have been invited to.

[ilfaith]

When my cousin got married, he arranged for the mother and sister of a member of the bridal party to babysit my boys and my niece in our hotel room. The kids actually came down for a brief time during the cocktail hour, since the reception was at the hotel where we stayed. DH was supposed to come to the wedding with me, but had a last minute business trip he had to take. Fortunately, the wedding was in driving distance (about five hours away) so I didn't have to fly alone with three little boys.

When friends of DH got married a couple of years ago, we arranged a sitter through the hotel...she was actually the nanny for the (small boutique) hotel owner's children. We all drove out together, making a bit of a family Gulf Coast vacation of the long holiday weekend.

When another cousin was married last spring, I flew alone to the wedding, and DH stayed home with the boys. My brother and I were pretty miffed that our children were not invited to the wedding, but a few of the bride and groom's friends brought their kids (who were around the ages of ours) to the reception. My niece stayed with my sister-in-law's parents.

[ZeeBaby]

We have done a few things. If it is close enough we will get a sitter and skip the reception or the ceremony. It still involved 6 hours of babysitting. We have all traveled to the venue with the kids and found a babysitter when we got there. We used a referral from someone local. If it requires an overnight away from the kids we drive to my families two hours away and then drive to the destination. It definitely adds more time, but sometimes we have no other option. We also do this when we travel and just leave from my families departure city.

[erosenst]

For weddings, we've gotten a sitter at home from r as long as we will be gone.

For other things, we've used a sitter service recommended by the hotel. Have done 5+ times, and always been happy with the sitter.

Good luck.

Sent from my phone. Please excuse typing errors I've made, and auto correct 'fixes' I missed.

[mom2binsd]

For the first situation, ask your cousin for recommendations. Your children are old enough that you can have a sitter watch them and know that your children will be able to call and talk to you and report back any concerns.

For the second situation-how big is the town/city you'll be visiting?

I'd ask the bride/groom if they know of any other families attending and if they have secured a babysitter? Maybe someone else knows someone in that town who they'd recommend.

When I lived in SLC a friend from my mothers group needed a sitter in Vegas, I mentioned that I had cousins who had four teenagers who lived there. They called them, and one of the teens came to her hotel and babysat there, and it worked out well.

I'd start putting out feelers....maybe someone on the BBB who you know/feel comfortable with is from there and you can PM them for suggestions.

Or try care.com possibly.

If it's a big resort they might have a babysitting service/kids club.

[KrisM]

It's been a while, but we all traveled to the location and for any pre-wedding things going on, including a pre-reception cocktail hour, we were all there. Then, the non-related person, or the non-great friend took kids back to the hotel room. Actually, it was just DS1.

[WatchingThemGrow]

For the second situation-how big is the town/city you'll be visiting?

I'd ask the bride/groom if they know of any other families attending and if they have secured a babysitter? Maybe someone else knows someone in that town who they'd recommend.

When I lived in SLC a friend from my mothers group needed a sitter in Vegas, I mentioned that I had cousins who had four teenagers who lived there. They called them, and one of the teens came to her hotel and babysat there, and it worked out well.

The second one is in Atlanta, so big!
Interestingly, my other brother will be there with his kid, but my step-mother said she's already looking for a babysitter for HIS child. How about mine??? Nope, no helping the step-grandchildren.:nodno:

I put out feelers in our moms group and got some people who are going to ask their cousins, sisters, etc. in both areas. Now to find lodging for 5. That's always a PITB when we want to sleep in the same room and they only allow 4.

[edurnemk]

We:
a) leave them with my parents,
b) invite one set of grandparents /aunt /uncle to come with us and stay with the kids at the hotel (and of course pay for their room and then plan some fun outing the next day so they can at least see the town),
c) decline,
d) I once considered having only DH attend, since I was feeling too nervous about leaving DD for the night (she was young and EBF, well she still is).

[KpbS]

I'd start putting out feelers....maybe someone on the BBB who you know/feel comfortable with is from there and you can PM them for suggestions.


Great idea!


It's been a while, but we all traveled to the location and for any pre-wedding things going on, including a pre-reception cocktail hour, we were all there. Then, the non-related person, or the non-great friend took kids back to the hotel room. Actually, it was just DS1.

This is exactly what we did the last wedding we went to. The kids went to the ceremony (but I was completely prepared to step out with one of them if they starting making a ruckus--they did fine) and then DH took them back to the hotel and put them to bed while I went to the reception. We have gotten a sitter and put them down and then rejoined the festivities leaving the sitter just to hold down the fort and that worked well too.

[KpbS]

Now to find lodging for 5. That's always a PITB when we want to sleep in the same room and they only allow 4.

I just tell them 4 (not 5) and get the biggest beds possible. They just don't want 7-8 spring breakers crammed into one room.

[mom2binsd]

I just tell them 4 (not 5) and get the biggest beds possible. They just don't want 7-8 spring breakers crammed into one room.

If it's only for one night, I'd not worry about it....it's not like you're going to Disney....

I have to say, I was recently at a conference in Atlanta, so near the conference center, not sure where you are going...but although not fancy, the Best Western Plus on Peachtree was very good. The breakfast was excellent, it was clean and up to date. The staff was great, although the front desk is right by the elevators so you might not want to have all five of you go by at once.

[janine]

Thinking about this for myself as well - my sister is getting married so all possible baby sitters will be at the wedding (IL's do not help with kids. At all.).

So we will bring our kids and they will stick it out until tired at which point we'll all leave. Guess no drinking and dancing up a storm for me!

[janine]

I just tell them 4 (not 5) and get the biggest beds possible. They just don't want 7-8 spring breakers crammed into one room.

Agree with this. Tell them 4 (2 double beds) and you can ask for a cot if you need more space (they might have pull out couch as well).

[Twoboos]

We are facing this dilemma now.

If we go to the wedding destination (1.5hrs away) and stay over, the hotels require a 2 night stay, so it turns into a whole weekend. We could share a nanny/babysitter with my Bro/SIL as my niece is the flower girl. But then DD's are upset they can't go to the actual wedding/reception. And then they miss their weekend activities here.

We could have a family friend babysit them at our house. And maybe we'd do the round trip drive - since the hotels are 2 night mins. (I think we are leaning toward this option.)

It's very complicated!!! I am tempted to decline b/c it hurts my head to try to work it all out. But I already have a dress. ;)