When/how to tell DD about losing a tooth? (long)

[Twoboos]

As I've mentioned in a couple of other threads, DD1 (9yo) broke her front permanent adult tooth (#9) under the gum. It's being held in place with a splint/braces wire. Comparing xrays shows the crack is getting worse not better.

An endodontist and dentist have both said it's not if it will fall out, but when. So I'd say we're 95% sure she's going to lose it.

There are many, many dental visits in our future. She is likely going to need an extraction, then a bridge/retainer thing with a fake tooth coupled with orthodontia (which she would have needed anyway), then finally an implant when she's in her late teens/early 20s. As long as her bone is still good and able to take the implant.

So basically she's going to have a hole in her mouth, front and center, for 10 years. She's going to be horrified.

We have an appt with a ped endodontist at Children's hospital next month. Should I wait until after this appt? Do you think they'll have some guidelines on how to approach this with her?

I realize in the grand scheme it's a small deal and we'll see much worse at CH. But in the meantime this is a 9yo girl who smiles all the time and will certainly be embarrassed - starting the 'tween years missing a front tooth. It's going to be hard for my smiley little girl and it makes me so sad for her, since she has no idea it's coming. She knows it's getting worse, she could tell on the xray the crack is bigger. But she doesn't know she's going to lose it.

In 10 years it will all be fine. But until then... :crying:

[jenmcadams]

I would definitely ask for the endo/dentist advice and make sure you have some info on the bridge, implant, etc. to make sure you can answer her questions. I don't have any personal advice, but wanted to send you a link to a book about a girl who has to have some pretty extensive orthodontia - it's a graphic novel called Smile and is a favorite of boys and girls at my kids' school:

http://www.amazon.com/Smile-Raina-Telgemeier/dp/0545132061

Good luck!

[missym]

I broke my front tooth in half when I was 9-10ish. After a series of horrible-looking caps which I kept breaking, and several root canals, it was finally extracted. I was very self-conscious about it, but mostly because it was grey while I still had part of the tooth and the caps looked so awful. Now I have a very good implant which matches my other teeth, and no one would guess. So I would say, the quality of the fake tooth/implant will be important to how she feels about it.

If you want to share a funny story with her when she's adjusted to the idea, once when i was camping my fake tooth fell off (I think I bit into a corn cob). I couldn't get to the dentist until the next morning, so I just popped it back in until then. I got into an argument with my DH and when I was yelling at him, my tooth flew out of my mouth, straight into the campfire! I won that argument. ;)

[Twoboos]

JenMc Thanks for the book recommendation. I think I'd have to read it over first. I don't want her to see how horrible it may be before it happens!! It does look cute though.

Missy that is a funny story!! I am picturing her first kiss and the tooth popping out... UGH!! (DH thinks it's great, no first kiss, LOL!)

[almostmom]

I swam into a wall when I was 8 and chipped my front tooth in half. It got bonded at root canalled (is that a word?), but when I was 16, I got an abcess (from the original trauma). After numerous more root canals, it was pulled. I was in high school at the time. Honestly, I don't remember feeling traumatized about losing the tooth! I did have a retainer tooth for a few months, and it was a fun party trick to flip it out (usually after a few drinks...). Then I got a bridge, a tooth that was attached to the adjacent teeth. No one knew it was fake and all was fine.

Eventually (8 years later), the bridge broke and they said it wasn't going to adhere well again. So entered the implant world. It was a long process for various reasons, but I have great looking implant that no one would know was fake.

Find out what the options are (will she have a retainer for 10 years? That seems crazy) and then you can talk about it. If the tooth is loose, or turning a little grey, she won't be that surprised to hear it's not going to make it. And if she is sad (which would make sense), I think she'll get over it pretty quickly once she warms up to the options ahead.

So sorry though - not fun for her or for you.