If your DC can't attend a birthday party, do you still give a gift?

[erv917]

DD's 6th birthday party is coming up this weekend, and we're doing a larger, whole class party at a local venue. Several moms of kids who can't attend have said (either verbally to me or in their Evite responses) things along the lines of "Sorry Bobby can't make it to the party, but we'll be sure to drop your DD's gift off at your house!" FWIW, none of these are family friends or DD's besties or anything, just classmates.

So, I'm posing a poll to ask the wise ladies of the BBB. If your DC misses a birthday party, do you still give a gift? For the sake of the poll, answer based on what you'd do for a classmate's party--not a family friend's child, or a child whom your DC socializes with a lot outside of school.

Thanks!

[arivecchi]

Yes, we send a gift.

[BabyBearsMom]

It depends. If they are close friends or family, yes. If it is just a school chum, no

[dogmom]

No. I figure most of the families here have plenty of toys for their kids and most Mom's I know are secretly thrilled if you don't bring a gift to the party. I know I am! I dislike the whole 'it's my birthday so I get lots of gifts" think the modern kids birthday party has fostered. I would love to sign a mutual disarmament pact about kids birthday party gifts.

[mommylamb]

It depends. If they are close friends or family, yes. If it is just a school chum, no
:yeahthat: Also, I do give a gift if I RSVPed yes, but had to cancel for some reason.

Honestly, I hope that those who are invited to DSs' parties who can't come don't give gifts because we already have too much crap. Is that bad of me??

[PMJ]

It depends. If they are close friends or family, yes. If it is just a school chum, no


Same here. Also, if it is last minute cancel (sickness or other) -- then I probably would have already bought the gift - so might as well give it. I'd feel weird returning it.

[njk07]

We give gifts if we cancel the last minute like when my son woke up with a fever last Saturday, the day of the party. The only other exception is if my child is very good friends with the celebrant.

I also end up giving party favors to those who don't attend but give gifts.

[edurnemk]

We give gifts if we cancel the last minute like when my son woke up with a fever last Saturday, the day of the party. The only other exception is if my child is very good friends with the celebrant.

I also end up giving party favors to those who don't attend but give gifts.

:yeahthat:

[pastrygirl]

No, never.


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[hillview]

nope. not at all

[citymama]

No. We've only done it twice, both times when we RSVPed yes but then couldn't make it at the last minute (both times coz DD was sick). I had already bought presents plus felt it rude that we were going to be no-shows.

[o_mom]

No. The only time we give something when we can't attend is if it is a particularly close friend who we would give a gift even if they didn't have a party. Random classmate? Not unless we had RSVPed yes and had to cancel at the last minute (illness, etc.).

[codex57]

It depends. If they are close friends or family, yes. If it is just a school chum, no

That's what we do. Now that the kiddos are in school, they get a billion invitations from kids that are essentially strangers to us. Our kids never talk about them. So, if we decline to RSVP, we don't send a gift.

Luckily, the class seems to be winnowing itself into cliques (sounds bad, but a great relief to the parents). Basically, invitations have generally dropped down to just the bday kid's group of friends/siblings. I just hope this restraint happens in public school too. I can deal with 10ish birthday parties a year for school friends. 30+ is way too much for me.

[lcarlson90]

It depends. If they are close friends or family, yes. If it is just a school chum, no

Same here.

[Melaine]

It depends. If they are close friends or family, yes. If it is just a school chum, no

:yeahthat: I would be surprised if people bring gifts if they aren't attending. Isn't that just a wedding rule?

[barkley1]

It depends. If they are close friends or family, yes. If it is just a school chum, no

:yeahthat:

[essnce629]

It depends.

If one of the kids was to get sick last minute and we couldn't make it for that reason then yes, I'd give a gift since we'd already have it. If we could never make it in the first place, then no, I wouldn't give a gift.

[div_0305]

I vote other--only for a close child who I'd give a gift to regardless of invite or to any child if I RSVPd yes and then couldn't make it.

[squimp]

It really depends - if it's a good friend or if I feel guilty because DD was invited to two parties and had to turn down one (hello, this weekend).

[Blakes Mommy]

If we rsvp'd no then we don't give a gift. I have only had one time we gave a gift when we didn't attend, we had rsvp'd yes and my son got sick the night before the party. I feel if you cancel last minute you should still give a gift.

[LexyLou]

It depends. If they are close friends or family, yes. If it is just a school chum, no

:yeahthat: