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View Full Version : music teacher "issue" - WWYD



Sweetum
03-15-2013, 09:57 PM
DS does a music therapy lesson for a half hour every week. We drive a good half hour to get to the class. The teacher is good with DS and she is very methodical, has good structure, gets him to use full sentences in making requests. While he doesn't learn one instrument or skill in particular the exposure has really helped him be more bold with his singing and gestures/hand movements for songs.
That said, she is, understandably very careful with her instruments and expects the same from the children. I have always found that a bit odd since children on the spectrum don't exactly have impulse control and wondered how she could deal with it.
The first class with her, DS was all over the place. While at the piano he tried to lift a key. I grimaced, I was feeling bad about it, but she yanked his arm away and her long nails hurt DS for a couple of minutes. She apologized to him (I'm not sure he understood that) a few times after that and explained to him why he should not do that.
Today (after being with her for 5 months now), DS did it again after the first time. And she got upset although she kept her cool and did not show it. And she explained to him again why he should not do it - it tears the fabric underneath, it is 62 years old, and is very expensive to repair. And then she proceeded to say that it hurst the piano just as it would hurt DS if she were to hit him with a big hammer. WHAT?!?
And that did get his attention but in a different way - he kept asking her what would happen if she hit him with a hammer. He also did not want to do piano again. She admitted it was not the best choice of things to say. Towards the end of the class he seemingly forgot about it, although knowing DS he won't and will ask again when he sees a piano.
I was NOT happy. I did not show it. But I am not happy. What do I do? is this reason for me to not take him back there, as in, since I did not like what she did in principle and that it definitely scared him. And in my mind this not the first time. I understand that instruments such as those are very valuable, but what I don't get is why she is even offering it?! Shouldn't she be prepared for something like this, mentally or actually? I mean, she is not teaching a typical or a mature kid. I am still a bit upset. To be fair, the rest of the sessions were good and she disciplines him in very appropriate ways. WWYD?

maestramommy
03-15-2013, 10:07 PM
I don't know anything about music therapy, but is this class for all kids on the spectrum? I find it odd that she disciplines appropriately in all other ways but this one thing. I have also never heard in my 40 years of piano playing that lifting the key is bad for it. Maybe it is, and I've just never been educated on it, but I used to do it all the time, simply because I was curious about how the key works, if lifting it would change the action, tone, volume. I find it really weird, that's all.

Cuckoomamma
03-16-2013, 07:00 AM
I'd find another teacher.

wellyes
03-16-2013, 09:48 AM
I think I would have not been as upset as you are by those actions.
But, you clearly are distressed about it, so I would find another teacher.

lexie's mom
03-16-2013, 02:51 PM
Being a special Ed teacher I would never say that to any student. Also, if she does need to ever move a student her nails should be short enough for the students' safety. If you really like the teacher talk to her privately about how that reference and situation upset you. If that situation left you with a bad feeling then look for another teacher. I have learned to trust my gut even if it is about something minor. So, even if I was overreacting I would look elsewhere. I would not want to wait to see what will happen next...

s7714
03-16-2013, 03:26 PM
I would look into other teachers. I don't think your teacher is totally in the wrong or right in her behavior per se, but if you are uncomfortable with it I think you should look into your options. If you start feeling negative towards the class and teacher your DS might pick up on that.