How to help DS in preschool

[lyt202]

DS started preschool in the fall. It was his first school experience and first time away from home for an extended period of time. It has not gone well, to say the least. He is the youngest in the class, has recently just turned three, and is the biggest kid there so I think his teachers sometimes forget how young he is.

The school was concerned that he kept trying to run away during transitions, would not sit still for circle time, did not like standing in line. They raised these issues after he had been in school a few weeks. We agreed to have him evaluated by an OT on contract with the school. They suggested potential sensory issues. We didn't necessarily agree with the report but consulted with our pediatrician, had an early intervention assessment and started private OT since he did not qualify for any services through the city.

At home, DS is an active but easygoing 3 year old. He likes to be in motion alot but can play for sustained periods of time with different toys, has good imaginative play and loves dressing up and reading. He is fine on playdates with our friends' kids - plays well with them, shares without any problem. He is still a runner so we keep a tight grip on him outside the house and make clear that we will hold his hand if he does not stay next to us. Otherwise he is a sweet and fun little guy.

We have always thought that he was an easy kid and my friends with kids have all said the same thing. The issue is that the school seems to think that he is a big problem. He tries to open doors and run down the hallway, plays with other kids in the class but sometime can get pushy if there are too many kids around, does not like transitions, does not sit for circle time. We have had multiple conferences with the teachers and directors and every time they tell us something different about what they think his issues are. It has been extremely frustrating. The school is well regarded in our area but obviously not a good fit for DS. I personally don't think that he's comfortable there because he is so different from the way he is at home, at playgroup, or when we are anywhere but school.

We are not going to continue there next year but wanted to finish off the year as best as possible. Any suggestions for what we can do to help make things better for DS?

Thanks for reading this far. This turned out to be longer than I thought.

[gatorsmom]

Did the teachers tell you why they think he has sensory problems? Did they say which particular senses he seems to have problems with? Did they give you situational examples?

[lyt202]

Did the teachers tell you why they think he has sensory problems? Did they say which particular senses he seems to have problems with? Did they give you situational examples?

They have pointed to him being active, trying to run, pushing when too many kids are around him. He definitely could use some help with impulse control but again he's three. We are not sure if these are sensory issues but figured it wouldn't hurt and might help to send him to OT weekly.

[westwoodmom04]

I'm not sure I fully follow. Have you had two evaluations at this point (school OT and evaluation recc. by your ped)? Did they reach similar conclusions?

[lyt202]

The school's OT did an observation of DS but not an evaluation and made suggestions, some of which we did not agree with. We got our own evaluation through early intervention which also suggested that he was a sensory seeker. Because he is active and needs help with impulse control, we have sent him to private OT thinking that it may help him. I have read the Out of Sync child and am not convinced on the diagnosis.

[lmh2402]

The school's OT did an observation of DS but not an evaluation and made suggestions, some of which we did not agree with. We got our own evaluation through early intervention which also suggested that he was a sensory seeker. Because he is active and needs help with impulse control, we have sent him to private OT thinking that it may help him. I have read the Out of Sync child and am not convinced on the diagnosis.

IME, you will likely not find an exact likeness to your son in this, or any other, book.

there is not a doubt in my mind, or in the minds of any of our specialists, that my DS has sensory issues.

yet when i first read that book, i wasn't *seeing him* either

i'm not suggesting that means your DS has sensory issues or not, but just to let you know that i wouldn't rely only on your take from reading the book

i'm sorry you guys are struggling. it's so hard when they're little and you're not sure what is maybe atypical, and what is just in the broad range of age-appropriate behavior

where are you doing the private OT - sorry if i missed that? but they must have done an eval too - they wouldn't just start therapy if they didn't think he needed it, right?

if it were me, i would talk to local moms and find out the best place in your area for assessing these kinds of issues, and take him there. let them evaluate and see if they reach the same conclusion

[lyt202]

He is in private OT at one of the recommended places in our area. They did not do their own evaluation but we provided them with the evaluation that was done by the school and the early intervention evaluation. They think that he's a sensory seeker and are working on this. We think that he's active but it may just be a maturity issue.

We are happy to work with the therapists but are not sure what we should be asking the school to do. At the school's request, our OT did a class observation and made some suggestions. For example, the OT suggested taking DS and some of the other little kids out at points during the day and letting them run around. The school is not on board with this so we want concrete suggestions that we can make that they will agree to.

[mmommy]

How long is he there each time? How many days a week?

[lyt202]

How long is he there each time? How many days a week?

Three days a week, 9-12:30. He leaves after lunch.

[brittone2]

He is in private OT at one of the recommended places in our area. They did not do their own evaluation but we provided them with the evaluation that was done by the school and the early intervention evaluation. They think that he's a sensory seeker and are working on this. We think that he's active but it may just be a maturity issue.

We are happy to work with the therapists but are not sure what we should be asking the school to do. At the school's request, our OT did a class observation and made some suggestions. For example, the OT suggested taking DS and some of the other little kids out at points during the day and letting them run around. The school is not on board with this so we want concrete suggestions that we can make that they will agree to.
Is the school open to incorporating sensory diet activities into the classroom? Did the OT suggest some of those already besides more running around time? Even typical classroom tasks can be adapted to incorporate sensory needs. For example, scrubbing tables to help the teachers (obviously not with disinfecting spray, but perhaps at another point in the day he could "help" by wiping-that provides deep pressure to the hand, wrist, elbow, and shoulder for example). He might benefit from a special seating cushion like a move n' sit or similar in his chair. If he has issues with understanding personal space, all the kids could sit on maps or in small hula hoops. The classroom could set up a quiet spot like a small tent where he can regroup if he needs some quiet time and is getting overstimulated.

IME, a good OT should be able to make suggestions that would fit in pretty smoothly with the regular classroom routine, or would be typical of many preschool classrooms-offering sensory bins, etc.

If the school is not open to that at all, it is going to be a more difficult situation. But the OT should be able to offer up some ideas that would help him without it being an enormous inconvenience to the school. However, if the school is unwilling, then it is going to be harder, and it may not be the best fit.

eta: it isn't uncommon for things to be more intense at school for kids with sensory issues. I'm not saying he does/does not have some sensory stuff going on, but a classroom is often many kids' first encounter with so much stimulation-bright lights, noise, lots of bodies moving around, a lot of toys, lots of hustle and bustle. For some kids, that's *too much* and too intense for them to handle, and you may see some of the sensory stuff intensified by that.

[edurnemk]

He could have sensory issues or it could be he's just very active and still needs to mature. He's young, according to the book Raising Boys (http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Boys-Different-Become-Well-Balanced/dp/158761328X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363707760&sr=8-1&keywords=raising+boys), many boys are not ready for school before 3, because they mature at a different rate than girls and have a hard time sitting in the circle, following instructions, working quietly, etc.

DS is super active, I know he's a handful, but his teachers just regard him in the range of normal active boy. He also used to want to hug and kiss all his classmates when he started preschool at 2 y 8 months. He's in Montessori and it's been a wonderful fit for him.

I don't know what I'd do in regards of finishing of the school year. Doesn't sound like the school is very supportive.

[AngB]

He could have sensory issues or it could be he's just very active and still needs to mature. He's young, according to the book Raising Boys (http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Boys-Different-Become-Well-Balanced/dp/158761328X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363707760&sr=8-1&keywords=raising+boys), many boys are not ready for school before 3, because they mature at a different rate than girls and have a hard time sitting in the circle, following instructions, working quietly, etc.

DS is super active, I know he's a handful, but his teachers just regard him in the range of normal active boy. He also used to want to hug and kiss all his classmates when he started preschool at 2 y 8 months. He's in Montessori and it's been a wonderful fit for him.

I don't know what I'd do in regards of finishing of the school year. Doesn't sound like the school is very supportive.
:yeahthat:

[lyt202]

Is the school open to incorporating sensory diet activities into the classroom? Did the OT suggest some of those already besides more running around time? Even typical classroom tasks can be adapted to incorporate sensory needs. For example, scrubbing tables to help the teachers (obviously not with disinfecting spray, but perhaps at another point in the day he could "help" by wiping-that provides deep pressure to the hand, wrist, elbow, and shoulder for example). He might benefit from a special seating cushion like a move n' sit or similar in his chair. If he has issues with understanding personal space, all the kids could sit on maps or in small hula hoops. The classroom could set up a quiet spot like a small tent where he can regroup if he needs some quiet time and is getting overstimulated.

IME, a good OT should be able to make suggestions that would fit in pretty smoothly with the regular classroom routine, or would be typical of many preschool classrooms-offering sensory bins, etc.

If the school is not open to that at all, it is going to be a more difficult situation. But the OT should be able to offer up some ideas that would help him without it being an enormous inconvenience to the school. However, if the school is unwilling, then it is going to be harder, and it may not be the best fit.

The OT did suggest a cushion or weighted animal (they have tried this and he does not like it) as well as setting up space for quiet time. I will push them on this and on the helping out with scrubbing the tables or other active tasks that he can do. He likes helping out at home but I get the sense when I'm in the class that they don't ask him to do much so this might be an area where they can give him tasks and that will keep him occupied during times when it's more active in the room. The OT also suggested a visual schedule and we have also found that a countdown to transitions helps.

[lyt202]

He could have sensory issues or it could be he's just very active and still needs to mature. He's young, according to the book Raising Boys (http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Boys-Different-Become-Well-Balanced/dp/158761328X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363707760&sr=8-1&keywords=raising+boys), many boys are not ready for school before 3, because they mature at a different rate than girls and have a hard time sitting in the circle, following instructions, working quietly, etc.

DS is super active, I know he's a handful, but his teachers just regard him in the range of normal active boy. He also used to want to hug and kiss all his classmates when he started preschool at 2 y 8 months. He's in Montessori and it's been a wonderful fit for him.

I don't know what I'd do in regards of finishing of the school year. Doesn't sound like the school is very supportive.

I agree that they are not very supportive but we are making the best of a bad situation. DS likes to go to school and likes his friends. With spring break we only have two months left so we figure we can try to make this work as well as possible and find a better fit next year.

[brittone2]

The OT did suggest a cushion or weighted animal (they have tried this and he does not like it) as well as setting up space for quiet time. I will push them on this and on the helping out with scrubbing the tables or other active tasks that he can do. He likes helping out at home but I get the sense when I'm in the class that they don't ask him to do much so this might be an area where they can give him tasks and that will keep him occupied during times when it's more active in the room. The OT also suggested a visual schedule and we have also found that a countdown to transitions helps.
Yeah, really all kids benefit from learning how to manage their sensory environment a bit. Some kids just do it in a less appropriate way. It is definitely a big continuum, and many kids can benefit from having different types of sensory input available to them (ie a kid who pinches might benefit from lots of time with playdoh or clay. Some kids have a poor sense of what is too close to others or tend to have to touch everyone during circle time and benefit from a clear visual boundary like sitting on a rug or in a little hula hoop.).

Adults sitting a classroom will often tap their foot to keep themselves awake. Most have the ability to understand it is not appropriate to kick the seat in front of them while doing so, but some kids just don't get that. Adults might pop a piece of gum in a lecture hall so they can stay awake; a kid with sensory issues might start chewing on their shirt, toys in the classroom, or other less socially appropriate items. An adult might take a walk and get up from their desk if they find themselves getting tired (trying to "rev" themselves back up a bit). Most of us use tools all day long to manage our need for input, but we do it in socially appropriate ways for the most part. Some kids, and especially kids with sensory issues, need a little more help with tools in the toolbox that are appropriate ways to manage that.

[maestramommy]

He could have sensory issues or it could be he's just very active and still needs to mature. He's young, according to the book Raising Boys (http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Boys-Different-Become-Well-Balanced/dp/158761328X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363707760&sr=8-1&keywords=raising+boys), many boys are not ready for school before 3, because they mature at a different rate than girls and have a hard time sitting in the circle, following instructions, working quietly, etc.

DS is super active, I know he's a handful, but his teachers just regard him in the range of normal active boy. He also used to want to hug and kiss all his classmates when he started preschool at 2 y 8 months. He's in Montessori and it's been a wonderful fit for him.

I don't know what I'd do in regards of finishing of the school year. Doesn't sound like the school is very supportive.

I agree with this. DD3 went to a 2s program last year, started when she was fully 2. I asked the teacher partway into the year how she does during circle time. She was very positive, said sometimes she sits there and participates, sometimes she loses interests and gets up. She said all the kids are like that, it's just something that they eventually grow into. Sometimes I think in general school institutions do not have realistic/normal expectations of kids who are really in the full range of normal. If the school is able to ask for an OT eval, then they should be able to incorporate things brittone mentioned as a normal variety of activities for 2-3 yo. As a parent I would want to be truly convinced that a school was doing its due diligence in providing activities for even very active kids, and not just calling in an OT for an eval because they hadn't done their due diligence.

Maybe it's because today is a snow day and I've been wrestling with our own response to a really awesome IEP team for DD. But lately Dh and I have been feeling like too many perfectly normal kids are being pigeon-holed because they are not conforming to what are after all not completely reasonable standards for kids their age. I'm not saying your DS is not a sensory seeker. But if he is, is that so terrible? it would depend on whether it really impairs his ability to function or learn, either now or in the future. Since he is only 3, what he is supposed to learn is how to get along in a group environment. So isn't it the school's job to give him ops to do that? Why does reluctance to sit through circle time and wanting to explore and be more active have to be a sign of something "off" in a new 3yo?

I'm sorry this isn't giving you anything constructive. I would say at this point ask the OT for suggestions you can give the school for giving DS ways to expend some of his energy.

[lyt202]

Maybe it's because today is a snow day and I've been wrestling with our own response to a really awesome IEP team for DD. But lately Dh and I have been feeling like too many perfectly normal kids are being pigeon-holed because they are not conforming to what are after all not completely reasonable standards for kids their age. I'm not saying your DS is not a sensory seeker. But if he is, is that so terrible? it would depend on whether it really impairs his ability to function or learn, either now or in the future. Since he is only 3, what he is supposed to learn is how to get along in a group environment. So isn't it the school's job to give him ops to do that? Why does reluctance to sit through circle time and wanting to explore and be more active have to be a sign of something "off" in a new 3yo?

I've been thinking alot about this issue not just in relation to DS but also other kids that we know. I find that preschools in this area are very willing to label kids - too active and they are sensory seekers, too quiet or shy and they need evaluation for social skills.

I find my primary problem with the school is that they are acting like his behavior is unprecedented but I'm pretty certain that they have had active kids in that school before. We send him to school so he can learn to interact with his peers and their role is to help all the little kids navigate their time together.

[brittone2]

The OT did suggest a cushion or weighted animal (they have tried this and he does not like it) as well as setting up space for quiet time. I will push them on this and on the helping out with scrubbing the tables or other active tasks that he can do. He likes helping out at home but I get the sense when I'm in the class that they don't ask him to do much so this might be an area where they can give him tasks and that will keep him occupied during times when it's more active in the room. The OT also suggested a visual schedule and we have also found that a countdown to transitions helps.

You can google some sensory diet schedule.s Obviously, the key is that it should be customized to your individual's child's needs, since not all kids need or crave the same type of input, some kids may be averse to some of the input and can only tolerate so much of it, etc. That's why it is great to work with the OT so they can customize the requests to your DC's needs. If the OT suggested a few things and the school is refusing or can't accommodate, it is going to be trickier to manage, and if this is a new thing for the school, they may just feel overwhelmed at the idea of having to integrate some of these things. Maybe just ask for a few that they can fairly easily incorporate into their day already, like you said.

If he is home with you before going, he might benefit from some sensory diet stuff completed with you before he goes to school. As the weather gets nicer, could you get some outdoor time before he goes, for example, where he could pull a wagon, push a little wheelbarrow, rake some leaves outside, swing, slide, play on a sit and spin, etc?

I would try to pick out sensory things that are easier for the school to incorporate, like you are considering. Ask the OT about things like having him push in or move chairs after snack time, helping to distribute little rugs for the class to sit on (have him carry one to each student or a few students), have him help clean up some of the heavier but manageable toys or books (putting them on shelves), etc. As it gets nicer outside (at least where I live spring hasn't sprung yet) can they encourage him to engage in sand and/or water play, jumping games, pulling wagons, riding a little trike, etc.? Can they take a break part way through the day and have the kids pretend to be various animals (bear, snake, etc.) or play simon says (maybe including some jumping, etc.) so he gets some deep input to his joints? Again, most kids benefit from that type of thing, but if it is out of the school's normal schedule or routine, they may just not be willing to accommodate.

http://school-ot.com/Sensory%20Strategies.html

eta: In my mind, again, it is a big continuum, and lots of this stuff is helpful for all kids that age, TBH. I use some of the strategies with my own kids who don't seem to really be out of the realm of normal in terms of sensory stuff.

I do think it is tough these days as expectations for kids are very high even from a young age. However, I will also say that if a kid is really standing out to the teachers (ie acting as if it is "unprecedented"), it is worth a closer look I think

It may just be that this type of school environment isn't a good fit for him and the school is having trouble working with his particular needs (even if within the realm of typical development, no significant sensory issues). At the same time, I think most professionals have seen parents who have trouble recognizing something like sensory issues underlying behavior. Maybe a year later, the family really starts to see that a lot of the behaviors *were* outside the realm of expected, age appropriate behavior.

Sometimes what happens at school is different than at home because there is just so. much. input for young kids at school, and that may be overwhelming to kids with sensory issues (and some kids that don't necessarily have sensory issues).

[westwoodmom04]

I've been thinking alot about this issue not just in relation to DS but also other kids that we know. I find that preschools in this area are very willing to label kids - too active and they are sensory seekers, too quiet or shy and they need evaluation for social skills.

I find my primary problem with the school is that they are acting like his behavior is unprecedented but I'm pretty certain that they have had active kids in that school before. We send him to school so he can learn to interact with his peers and their role is to help all the little kids navigate their time together.

I think the reason there is more "labeling" these days is because teachers are taught that earlier the intervention, the better off the child is in the long run. They aren't trying to punish kids with labels, they are trying to use them to get kids resources they would not otherwise have access to.

It seems that you still have a significant amount of discomfort with your son's evaluation I agree with the PP that it probably would be very helpful to seek out a second evaluation from the best source available locally so that you can find out whether or not he has been inappropriately evaluated. This should also help you find a better place for him to be next fall.

[lyt202]

Thanks for the suggestions, brittone. Our OT has suggested some of these before but I think it's helpful to go to the school with options instead of trying to dictate a specific regimen. Ideally, the things they do will also be helpful for all the other kids too, even if it gives DS an outlet to expend energy.

I know we definitely are uncomfortable with the assessment by the school in part because it came out of the blue. DS has always been so easygoing and mellow that it was surprising that the school thought he was such a problem. Part of the issue is when we ask for examples of problematic behavior so we can work to correct it, they tell us things that are well within the range of typical 2.5-3 year old behavior. I keep asking if there's anything else because what they are telling us and their reaction does not line up.

[gatorsmom]

I think the reason there is more "labeling" these days is because teachers are taught that earlier the intervention, the better off the child is in the long run. They aren't trying to punish kids with labels, they are trying to use them to get kids resources they would not otherwise have access to.

.

I agree with this. My son was diagnosed with mild SPD. I know there are moms at our school who roll their eyes when I talk about Greenbean needing a little different treatment (wearing sunglasses outside to play, wearing a hood up in the classroom toward the ens of a busy day, etc.). Some of those moms have children with more severe issues so Greenbean's issues probably seem so small. But it's a fact that the teacher has to correct greenbean more often telling him to stop fidgeting, stop being disruptive, etc. IMHO, Greenbean can either be considered a special kid with some special needs or he can be conisdered a trouble maker who fidgets and is disruptive. I think there are huge benefits to trying to figure out early on what kind od assistance a child needs. Pidgeon-holing is not a bad thing

[AngB]

I am looking for a program for DS1 to start in the fall for a few hours a week.

Some of these places are insane! One of them is a 9am-2pm program that has 2 year olds coloring and doing worksheets much of the day, plus bible story time and circle time. The classroom was tiny with very few toys, the focus of the classroom is table work and circle time. No naps. For 2 year olds! My friend actually enrolled her son (who will just be turning 2 late Aug. and currently is still napping TWICE a day.) It blows my mind that people sign their kid up for that...the expectations are so not age appropriate.

I have worked at NAEYC accredited child dev. centers (military), our circle time with 2's and 3's was very informal. We had it, most kids started out sitting but some did get up and play, come back, etc. Completely normal for 2 and 3 year olds. By 4, it's reasonable to expect them to sit the whole time, but at 3? Meh.

I also wonder what sorts of things they do during circle time and maybe you could make suggestions for that...songs with hand motions, felt story board stuff, etc.