Master bedroom on different floor from kids?

[ourbabygirl]

How do you like it? :)
DH and I are considering a house with the master BR and guest room on the main floor of the house, with 3 bedrooms in the downstairs (walk-out basement). I think it would be pretty ideal for when the kids are teenagers, but I'm not sure if it would be a deal-breaker now when they're only 2 and 4 (with the slight possibility of a third child in a year or two).
I think it would be great to have our bedroom on the main floor when we get into our 50's/ 60's and get tired of going up and down stairs many times a day (the laundry room is also on the main floor). But I don't know if it's too much of a worry in case of a fire or something, to be on a different floor from our kids.
We *could* live in the downstairs with the kids, in one of the bedrooms, while they're so young, but it definitely wouldn't be ideal. Two of the bedrooms are next to each other, with a full bathroom there, too, and the other bedroom is on the other side of the basement (currently being used as a play room; not sure how big of a bed could fit in there), w/o a bathroom.

Anyhow, if you have or had a floor plan like this, would you be willing to weigh in?

Thanks so much!

[Ceepa]

It would make me too nervous to have young children on another floor, especially with an outdoor exit. We have friends who moved from a lower level bedroom to the main floor when they had kids and plan to move back downstairs once DC are older.

[mmsmom]

We are downstairs and DC are upstairs. It has worked out fine... no issues. During the newborn stage I slept on their level in the guest room to make it easier for all the night wakings. We do have night lights at the top and bottom of the stairs for the times one of them comes to our room in the middle of the night.

[crl]

I think teenagers and a walk out basement might make more more nervous than little kids on a different floor.

Catherine

[AngB]

I wouldn't like it for young kids or teenagers. As someone who was actually a pretty good kid who got a room built in our basement when our youngest brother was born- it was a lot easier to keep stuff from our parents this way. My sister may have made a trip out the window or two and never got caught, likewise my best friend and I made a few trips out of her downstairs room window and didn't get caught either. (And in that case we actually got in my car and drove off.) Even just other stuff in general, it is a lot easier to get away with b/c you can hear someone coming down the stairs.

[JBaxter]

My 4 yr old is on a different floor and its no big deal. Put them in the guest room if its an issue. As for teens sneaking out... well if they are going to do it they will do it from any room. I climbed out a 2nd floor window onto a ladder one night.

[joonbug]

It didn't work out in our situation (but DD has always had sleeping issues...). A year ago we moved to a bigger house and took a spacious bedroom in the attic as the master. DD got a nice size room on the 2nd floor. It bothered me right away but it took almost a year of convincing DH to move us next to her.. For older kids, or ones that sleep through the night without issues, I would reconsider.

[mackmama]

When we were looking for a home, we automatically disqualified any homes that had the master on a separate floor than DC's room. I just wouldn't feel comfortable.

[ABO Mama]

No, I would want us all on the same floor (and I prefer one story houses).

[nfowife]

We are on the main floor right now and the kids are all upstairs. It's not an issue at all. In our rental we are movin to this summer we are most likely having the kids upstairs and us in the non walk-out basement.

[MamaMolly]

I absolutely hated it. We had a setup with the master on the main and the other bedrooms upstairs and it royally sucked. We moved into that house when Lula had just turned 4, and tromping up and down the #($*&(#$ stairs in the middle of the night was a total PITA.

Then Lula was born and the awfulness compounded. Try being a nursing mom and having that arrangement. Hell on Earth. At 8 months DH was out of town and she got a respiratory thing. The only way she could sleep was on my chest as I sat upright in bed. And TA-DA suddenly we were cosleeping. Not anything I even planned to do, but oh well.

Unless you are willing to climb those stairs in the dark night after night, or cosleep, then I personally see that arrangement as a deal breaker with little kids.

[Pennylane]

I love being on the main floor and having my dc upstairs, but they are older now. I would have hated it when they were young with all the night time wake ups.

Ann

[baymom]

It would be a a deal breaker for me. BIL & SIL have this and regret it even though their youngest is 8.

[kjmollypup]

This WAS supposed to be a deal breaker for me. And then we stumbled on the perfect house. Perfect except the master and one bedroom were upstairs, and second bedroom was downstairs. So I dealt with it. Our four year old sleeps upstairs, with us, and our two year old is downstairs. Not ideal, but not as bad as I thought. When the two year old was younger ( we moved in when he was three months), he was awake a lot in the night and it actually worked better for us. That way, we were downstairs with him when he made noise and his sister didn't get woken up. He's still in a crib, so when he moves up to a big boy bed I'll probably like it less. Eventually I want to put on an addition and fix the situation, no money for that now though. I still use the baby monitor to check on him.

[acmom]

I wouldn't like it for young kids or teenagers.

:yeahthat:

I might be ok with a master on the main level and kids on upstairs or in a non-walkout basement. But a basement with an outdoor exit would make me way too nervous with kids of any age.

[khm]

Hmm, we have master on main and kids up and I like it a ton. The kids were 2 and 4 when we moved in, and we've been here 6 years. At first, it was a bit weird to me, but no issues at all. Really. I love this layout. The stairs end right in front of our room, so I never felt too disconnected, I easily hear them if they come down, etc. My son did have a cheapy pressure gate when he was 2-3 just to contain him a bit. Obviously, he could have cleared that gate, but in sleepyness, it stopped him enough to call for us instead. Had there ever been a newborn here, we'd have just crammed a crib in with us. We did in our other house when we were ALL on the 2nd floor.

But, we also viewed a house that was a ranch, 2 up, 2 basement. It was an amazing house otherwise, but that did feel too weird to me. The basement just seemed too disconnected, etc. I guess it just matters how your particular house feels and what your other options are. I'm usually a bit, "The kids aren't toddlers forever, don't forget that they'll soon be kids!!", but I agree that there is something different about having them below you vs. above you.

Sorry, I'm no help!

[Momit]

I think master on the main floor and kids up would be ok - we actually had that in a previous house but we moved when DS was little and barely in his own room. I would not be comfortable with kids downstairs in a walkout basement and parents on the main floor.

[AnnieW625]

No experience, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker for us. I would look at other houses in the area and see if it is a selling point or not.

[arivecchi]

When we were looking for a home, we automatically disqualified any homes that had the master on a separate floor than DC's room. I just wouldn't feel comfortable.
:yeahthat:

When we bought last year, my second favorite home had a 1st floor master. I just could not do it even though I loved the house otherwise. The secondary bedrooms were actually quite far from the master and I really feared the kids coming down those stairs in the middle of the night and having to walk through a dark house to get to us. Plus my kids still wake up a lot at night, I would not want to have to go to a different floor to get them. Every time they wake up my DH mentions the fact that he is so glad we are not in that other house!

In our area, a separate floor master is not desirable.

[ourbabygirl]

Thanks, Everyone.
DH really doesn't think it'll be a big deal, and the kids waking up in the middle of the night-thing doesn't bother me, but the possibility of fire or kidnapping might.

Does it affect your decision at all if this house is in a gated community in a very nice suburb of a nice metro area? They close the gates between about 10 p.m. and 6 a.m., so there's no way to get a car back there. The house is across from a golf course and has a few neighbors next door, with more further down the cul-de-sac. There's a security alarm on the house, and really no where for people to hide in bushes or trees next to the house or anything.

I grew up in a rambler/ ranch walk-out with 3 BR upstairs and a bedroom downstairs. My siblings and I lived on the main floor next to our parents, and one of my siblings moved to the basement bedroom as a teenager. My mom didn't seem to think there was any problem with that.

I have a couple of old friends who have this set-up, as well, and I'm waiting to hear back how it is with young kids. The houses they bought or built are more 'executive' houses in very upscale areas (like the one we're looking at), and one is also on a golf course, while the other person's house is on a wildlife preserve (the house we're looking at has golf course in the front, across the street, and wildlife preserve in back).

So in the one case, it's a one-story with master and another bedroom on the main floor, and then 2 or 3 bedrooms in the walk-out basement. They have two small children and one more on the way, and they had their house custom-built by her dad.
The other friend has a very nice house in a very nice area, and it has the master on the main floor with 3 bedrooms downstairs (with a walk-out basement). They have 4 little boys.

Anyhow, I appreciate your feedback. :) DH says that there's really no crime in any of these cities, especially the one we're looking at. My parents would be about a 5-10 minute drive in one direction, and my brother and his family would be about a 10 minute drive in the other direction, if that makes any difference. We'll be getting a dog eventually, too, but more as a family companion than a security guard! ;-)

[buttercup]

It would not work for me, I want to be on the same floor as kids. Maybe because we've always been in apartments and in close proximity...

[arivecchi]

I forgot to mention I used to live in a townhome with the secondary bedrooms on the top floor when the kids were younger. It was a PITA at night!

[smilequeen]

Kids downstairs from us might make me more nervous. We've always had a main level master and the kids upstairs. No problems at all, no qualms about it. I HAVE always kept my babies downstairs with me for a while though. But that's because I want my babies in the exact same room as me. Now all 3 of mine are upstairs. DS3 has a monitor, the other 2 are perfectly capable of coming to get us if they need us.

[njk07]

Reminds me of a house that we loved when we were looking a couple of years ago. We went a couple of times but decided against it and one of the big reasons was the layout.

[Twoboos]

We looked at a couple of houses like this and I wasn't comfortable with it.

However, in our house now the kids are on the other side of the second floor (across a landing/balcony area). I suppose it's just as far as being on a different floor! <shrug> Every once in a while I freak about them being "too far away."

[amldaley]

I liked it for so many reasons but we bought the house with the ground floor master before kids and now that we are out of that house, I don't think I would do it again.

It was so practical. We did not have a mudroom, but DH could go right from front door in to our room (with master bath) when he was mucky from kayaking. When I had surgery, I was on the main level - no stairs. After we put DD1 to bed at night, we had a private retreat from her, and from my mom who often comes for long visits (months).

However, I hated being far away from DD1 and certainly now with two LO's it would be harder. I was constantly worried about them being upstairs during storms. And the idea that we could have a house fire and I might not be able to get to them was awful. Plus, when DD1 would wake up early or in the middle of the night, she would come all the way down stairs, past the kitchen, garage door and front door to get to our room. I was always so worried she would get herself in to something, or out the door, while we slept.

Now, granted, I may be a little bit more of an anxious parent than most, but now that we are all on the same floor, I can't see going back to being on a different floor. If the girls were teens, maybe. Ideally, we would go in to a single level home or a raised ranch with walk out basement in the future. That way, all living essentials are on one floor and the basement is just bonus space.