Picking lips and fingers

[wendibird22]

DD1s lips and fingers are a mess. She picks her lip till its scabbed and she picks the dry skin along her cuticles until her fingers are either red and inflamed or bleeding. Right now her nail beds aren't that bad but she's focused her picking to the side of her left thumb. Both are bad habits I'd like to break her of. I read that lip picking can be hereditary of sorts and I know I did it as a child but grew out of it (I grew out of biting my nails too). We've tried Chapstick and aquaphore on lips and fingers but neither have helped. Any other ideas? Can this be purely habitual or is it always an anxiety thing and therefore I should look into getting her treatment for anxiety?

[lcarlson90]

I don't really have any good advice I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. DS picks his nose to the point that it bleeds and gets all scabbed up. We asked the Dr. about it recently and he said a lot of kids have a nervous habit like picking.

[maydaymommy]

UGH! I have no suggestions, only commiseration because my ds1 (also '07) is constantly picking his lip! He knows I despise it & we talk about how it harms his body, but I don't want him to feel terrible about himself for doing it. He gets little bloody scabby marks on his lips. Yuck. I point it out and slather on vaseline.

[daisymommy]

DS who is on ADHD meds and is on the spectrum picks at his lips, nose, and fingers till they bleed. It's awful. I think it's party anxiety and OCD. I have noticed that the more overwhelmed with sensory input that he is, or stressed, the more he does it.


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[crayonblue]

I don't have any good advice either but you are not alone! DD picks her the skin around her nails. I don't know what to do!

[gatorsmom]

DS who is on ADHD meds and is on the spectrum picks at his lips, nose, and fingers till they bleed. It's awful. I think it's party anxiety and OCD. I have noticed that the more overwhelmed with sensory input that he is, or stressed, the more he does it.


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:yeahthat: The side of Greenbean's thumbs are a mess and his pillowcase has blood spots on it. His teacher says he picks his thumbs in school. School time and evenings are the times he's most stressed and overwhelmed with sensory input.

I remember doing it in first grade. His OT recommended a fidget toy but I'm not sure that will help him. Maybe it would work for your dc?

http://www.nationalautismresources.com/fidget-toys.html

[lovin2shop]

Well, if anyone has suggestions for this, I'm all ears, but for ME! I'm a chronic cuticle picker! Like really bad, constantly walking around with band aids, do it in my sleep, so bloody sheets, etc. It is so gross, but I've never found anything other than acrylic nails to help me tame the picking. I'm fed up with the acrylics, so my nails are a mess at the moment. Both my DS's are pickers as well, but not as bad as me. I think there was a thread on this before, and there were many commiserating posts.

[Mrs.Skeeter]

I don't know that this is GOOD advice, but it might be something to try depending on your child and that is the hot sauce or pepper polish. Please don't flame me for suggesting something that could be considered cruel this is where I am coming from...as long as I can remember I have picked at my lips and I also picked at my fingers until I was around 12. I stopped picking my hands by myself because I was embarrassed at how my hands looked. As for the lips... I constantly pick all the skin off so they are a bleeding mess. It hurts, looks really ugly, splits open and bleeds when I smile, and burns like crazy when I eat anything mildly salty. Despite these things I can't stop. It just doesn't make sense. Anyway, as a child I wish my parents would have done something like the hot sauce or pepper polish for me to discourage this habit as soon as possible. I like to think that the nasty taste of the stuff on my lips or in my mouth if I touched my lips or mouth with my hands would have discouraged me from picking.

Good luck.

[Green22]

No ideas. Dd picks her eczema and her nose to the point of bleeding. I am trying to suggest that she only suck thumb or pick at night or nap and it has been causing a lot of problems. If you find a magic cure, please let us know!

Also, it gets worse when nervous

[Jupiter]

It is most likely some type of disorder. I personally poke/pick at both my lip and nails. But I do it till it hurts not bleeds. It is partly because of anxiety and it causes pain when I'm depressed. I don't even realize I do it sometimes.

How old is your dd? She is most likely not even aware that she is doing it. But if she is at an age that she can articulate it ask her why.

On the other hand I have also known a student who would pull her hair/ eyelashes out and she had sensory issues. There was no reason for doing it.

I would get some psychiatric input (maybe more than one).

[wendibird22]

She is 5.5yo. She says her hands just do it. I don't usually see her doing it so I think it's mostly at night while she's falling asleep. I don't think she consciously knows she is doing it.

[lexie's mom]

Not much advice but I did buy expensive cuticle oil from the salon that I go to. I think the name on the brand is "creative"but I think a cuticle oil may be then a cream or Vaseline. I think it is faster absorbed into the skin. Dd actually likes brushing it on her nails Nd that may encourage her to use it more.

You are totally not alone and wish there was an ans...

[Jupiter]

She is 5.5yo. She says her hands just do it. I don't usually see her doing it so I think it's mostly at night while she's falling asleep. I don't think she consciously knows she is doing it.

I would agree that she is not doing it consciously. However MAYBE if you can get her to be aware she is doing it in a nonjudgmental way, that awareness might help her stop. Like I said I'm 38 and I still do it! But I am able to stop myself most of the time. I wouldn't worry about it except that she is bleeding. But I'm unaware of medication that stops it.

[BunnyBee]

She is 5.5yo. She says her hands just do it. I don't usually see her doing it so I think it's mostly at night while she's falling asleep. I don't think she consciously knows she is doing it.

Have you seen the soft, aloe lined gloves? Like these:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0049IK3XI

My oldest loves these and wears them in winter. Maybe it could help break the habit?

[wellyes]

I wouldn't get treatment for anxiety just based on that.

Maybe offer her a nice manicure? If she's proud of her hands perhaps she will be more aware of them, or, may become more conscientious if she accidentally shreds her nice nails.

[MontrealMum]

I do the same thing, and so does my mom. For me, yes, sometimes it's related to anxiety, stress, and nerves. And sometimes it's just something my fingers do when they're bored. I guess out of habit? I do it much less now than I did in my high stress grad school years (20's to mid 30's), or during my childhood (verbally abusive father). Now I mostly pick at my fingers, not my lips. I grew out of that in h/s I would guess due to liking to wear lipstick and it HURT to put it on cracked, bleeding lips.

I can't tell you the last time I had to wear bandaids because I picked to the point of bleeding, but yes, I definitely used to do that. I usually have a few bandaids by the bed because nighttime reading is an activity that lends itself to idle fingers, and picking. My DH is used to seeing my with a bloody kleenex wrapped around a finger. And yeah, it's gross, but it's also soothing, somehow. Like your DD, it's not usually something I do knowingly. Usually I just pick at a piece of loose skin, and then I have to pull it off - even if it will hurt or bleed - because I can't NOT do it. Kind of like in Black Swan. Have you seen that movie? They mention it at the end and I think it's a condition related to hair pulling IIRC.

My doctor pointed it out once at a visit, then said he couldn't really fault me because he does the same thing! But he suggested trying to be more aware of my movements. So now, I'm much more aware of it these past few years.

And because of that I will say that painting her nails with foul tasting stuff probably won't help...if she's picking at her cuticles like I do. She's not putting them in her mouth, so it would just be like putting salt in a wound - literally. Also, getting a nice manicure may not help much either. I have always been able to grow long, nicely shaped nails. I don't bite them, I just pick at the skin. Mind you, a manicure can hurt like the dickens if you have ouchies all along your cuticles!

What does help me - besides being mindful, which I don't think a 5.5 y.o can really do - is having something for my hands to do. When I was younger I used to crochet. That, like knitting, is something that she could do w/o even looking, if she gets good at it. I used to sit and do handiwork in front of the tv and my hands were occupied, which was good. Someone mentioned a fidget toy above and I think that's a great idea too. Also, a worry stone kept in a pocket that she can stroke could help. I think the goal is twofold: reduce anxiety, but also give her hands something else to do.

[elektra]

Poor thing. I too wish my parents would have tried some kind of spicy something or other on me, although I am more of a picker than a biter, so who knows if it would have even helped. I still pick at my nails and cuticles til they bleed. It is really embarrassing, especially in a professional setting. Nothing has ever worked in helping me stop, except the one time I was taking Prozac. It cleared them right up. So in my case it probably does have something to do with anxiety, or stress or something like that. oh and I pick my lip too.
For your DD, I might start but putting aquohor on her hands every night. When my hands are dried out, things get worse for me. and regular lotion stings too much because it gets into the cracked or bleeding spots.

[Jupiter]

What does help me - besides being mindful, which I don't think a 5.5 y.o can really do - is having something for my hands to do. When I was younger I used to crochet. That, like knitting, is something that she could do w/o even looking, if she gets good at it. I used to sit and do handiwork in front of the tv and my hands were occupied, which was good. Someone mentioned a fidget toy above and I think that's a great idea too. Also, a worry stone kept in a pocket that she can stroke could help. I think the goal is twofold: reduce anxiety, but also give her hands something else to do.

Nicely said (the whole thing actually). This is right on target for what would probably help her.

Wendibird,

I forgot to ask, does it bother your dd?

[wendibird22]

It doesn't seem to bother her. She'll mention when a finger hurts from being picked raw but the act of picking itself doesn't bother her. A fidget toy would be great for daytime but probably wouldn't help at night when she seems to do it most. Last night she went to bed with her lip looking pretty decent and definitely healing and she woke up this morning with dried blood all over her lips and the fingers she picked her lip with. I've been trying to put a nice coating of aquaphor on each night.

[elektra]

It doesn't seem to bother her. She'll mention when a finger hurts from being picked raw but the act of picking itself doesn't bother her. A fidget toy would be great for daytime but probably wouldn't help at night when she seems to do it most. Last night she went to bed with her lip looking pretty decent and definitely healing and she woke up this morning with dried blood all over her lips and the fingers she picked her lip with. I've been trying to put a nice coating of aquaphor on each night.

When I was little, I would scratch the seams of my blanket. Like pick them as a way to soothe myself to sleep. I have no idea if introducing what would be essentially a lovey at this point, but if you can find a blanket with those sort of criss-cross seams, it might save her fingers if it's a nighttime thing.

[Jupiter]

I was thinking if it bothered her after the fact. Like is she embarrassed by having a blood lip and fingers?

How about gloves to sleep in? They have those fancy ones for lotion, you know which I mean? It would make it more difficult to pick

[KpbS]

My DH does this and my SIL and FIL--definitely a genetic link. During times of stress, dry skin, or boredom he attacks his cuticles. But he has learned to use lotion constantly to prevent dryness and for a while used a rubber band around his wrist as a distractor to picking.

I like the idea of wearing some fancy/cute gloves to bed with aquaphored hands.

[wendibird22]

I was thinking if it bothered her after the fact. Like is she embarrassed by having a blood lip and fingers?

How about gloves to sleep in? They have those fancy ones for lotion, you know which I mean? It would make it more difficult to pick

No, no vanity yet...guessing a 5yo just doesn't spend much time looking in the mirror. Is it bad that I hope this kicks in sometime soon so that maybe she would have motivation to stop?!

She asked me to polish her nails today for school and I did and I complimented her on how great her nails looked (she hasn't been biting them and I filed them nice and even and they did really look great). Her thumb is a bit better but now she's started in on another finger and it was inflamed and red and just painful to look at. So we talked about how that puts germs in her skin and gets irritated and how we want to keep are skin in good health to keep from getting infections. She also has a cold and was complaining about how she hates getting colds. So we talked about how we get germs on our hands, that if we use our hands to pick our lips we get germs in our bodies and that's how we can get colds.

She does have a taggie blanket from when she was a baby with all those little tags so maybe I'll bring that back out and suggest that she rub those instead of picking. I'm not sure if she'd keep gloves on overnight cause she doesn't even wear winter gloves when it's cold.