Help me reply to this email

[DietCokeLover]

Background: DH and I own a motel. A friendly acquaintance of mine from Zumba booked a room with us last Sat and went out and got blasted drunk that night. She caused a huge disturbance in our parking lot around 2:15 in the morning such that police and ambulance were called. We had so many complaints based on her scene that she caused that we had to comp rooms to some guests and have no idea how much business we may have lost in the future because of people not wanting to return based on this negative experience.

This is the Facebook message I received from her the next day:
just wanted to let you know that my friend took me to the hospital this morning and they found ghb in my system.....i am soooo sorry for last night...linda told me what happened....i honestly do not remember anything...kinda scary...i am soo sorry

I doubt that she was tested for ghb - we live in a tiny town with a bit backward healthcare. If they did test her, I would be very surprised that they would have had results back that quickly. Also, the Linda person she mentioned was not here on the property when all of this happened, so I'm not sure how she thinks she knows what happened.

So, please help me construct a reply back to her. I feel stuck with what to say. I want her to know that her behavior negatively effected my family and my business, but want to balance it with the fact that I am not her mother and don't need to lecture her. YKWIM?

[megs4413]

I'm not sure why you want to respond. I'd be inclined to just ignore her and move on.

Maybe just say, "I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. It caused a great deal of difficulty for us as well."

[DietCokeLover]

I'm not sure why you want to respond. I'd be inclined to just ignore her and move on.



I think I feel the need to respond because I will see her multiple times per week in our exercise class.

But, maybe I don't need to respond. Will be curious what others think.

[hillview]

Maybe just say, "I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. It caused a great deal of difficulty for us as well."

I would go with something like that as well. "Gosh what a mess. Hope you are ok. It was a major issue for us on our end as well."

[megs4413]

I think I feel the need to respond because I will see her multiple times per week in our exercise class.

But, maybe I don't need to respond. Will be curious what others think.

Are you intending to keep friendly with her? If it was me (and admittedly I tend to cut people off when they hurt me and not think twice about it) I probably would give her the cold shoulder in the future at exercise class. It doesn't sound like she's someone you want/need in your life, but I don't go to exercise class so I may be envisioning your I interactions totally wrong. Lol

[Sillygirl]

How about "Thanks for the heads up, we'll be sure to cooperate with the police when they come by to investigate." Cause she'll be reporting that, right?

[wellyes]

How about "Thanks for the heads up, we'll be sure to cooperate with the police when they come by to investigate." Cause she'll be reporting that, right?
I like this one.

[mikala]

How about "Thanks for the heads up, we'll be sure to cooperate with the police when they come by to investigate." Cause she'll be reporting that, right?

I like this wording.

[gatorsmom]

I'm not sure why you want to respond. I'd be inclined to just ignore her and move on.

Maybe just say, "I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. It caused a great deal of difficulty for us as well."

:yeahthat: in a big way. I would be polite the next time I saw her at zumba (Hi, sorry i cant talk...") but would consider this the end of the relationship. And I'd be fully booked the next time she or her friends tried to book a room.

Getting pulled into an argument with this volatile person won't help your business either, kwim?

[Hemlock]

I'm not sure why you want to respond. I'd be inclined to just ignore her and move on.

Maybe just say, "I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. It caused a great deal of difficulty for us as well."


How about "Thanks for the heads up, we'll be sure to cooperate with the police when they come by to investigate." Cause she'll be reporting that, right?

I would respond with a combination of both the above.

[TwinFoxes]

I would respond with a combination of both the above.

:yeahthat: I'd be cool toward her at the exercise class. It would take major nerve for her to ask you for a room again!

[hellokitty]

I'm not sure why you want to respond. I'd be inclined to just ignore her and move on.

Maybe just say, "I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. It caused a great deal of difficulty for us as well."

:yeahthat: It sounds like she is full of it. I would just move on and not pursue any further contact with her, even at zumba. What kind of adult woman gets so smashed that they act like that at a FRIEND'S establishment??? I just can't get past that, I would be pissed too and I think that she is back peddling now, since she is probably embarrassed, as she should be. Really, she owes you a direct apology without any excuses involved.

[DietCokeLover]

I don't foresee continuing anything but a civil relationship with her from this point on. But, I also know the way this small town works and don't want to unneccessarily burn any bridges if I don't have too.

Oh, and there is no way that she will ever stay at our place ever again.

[Still-in-Shock]

I think I would be "too busy" to reply to her FB message. If she didn't think it was important enough to call you directly about that, it's, as you said, probably not true. Maybe it's a generational thing on my part, but I think that anything is important or urgent, you don't use email/texting/FB/etc to send the message, not if want confirmation that the message was received.

And I agree about there being no room for her on your premises any more. If she sends other business to you, you may need to check them out first.

[bisous]

:yeahthat: in a big way. I would be polite the next time I saw her at zumba (Hi, sorry i cant talk...") but would consider this the end of the relationship. And I'd be fully booked the next time she or her friends tried to book a room.

Getting pulled into an argument with this volatile person won't help your business either, kwim?

I agree with this.

[Indianamom2]

I agree with this.

:yeahthat: What a piece of work she must be! Sorry that you were in such a rough situation!

[TxCat]

I don't foresee continuing anything but a civil relationship with her from this point on. But, I also know the way this small town works and don't want to unneccessarily burn any bridges if I don't have too.

Oh, and there is no way that she will ever stay at our place ever again.

I'd probably just send a perfunctory "Thanks for the update," and leave it at that. She'll get the idea that you're being cool towards her, but she won't be able to say that you were being obviously mean to her after she "told you she was drugged," KWIM?

[katydid1971]

I think I would be "too busy" to reply to her FB message. If she didn't think it was important enough to call you directly about that, it's, as you said, probably not true. Maybe it's a generational thing on my part, but I think that anything is important or urgent, you don't use email/texting/FB/etc to send the message, not if want confirmation that the message was received.

And I agree about there being no room for her on your premises any more. If she sends other business to you, you may need to check them out first.

:yeahthat:

[gatorsmom]

I'd probably just send a perfunctory "Thanks for the update," and leave it at that. She'll get the idea that you're being cool towards her, but she won't be able to say that you were being obviously mean to her after she "told you she was drugged," KWIM?


You know, I like this response best. It is very dismissive and lets her know YOU ARE DONE with her baloney.

[Momit]

Wow, she has a lot of nerve to behave like that and then make up a story about being drugged. And to apologize via FB message rather than a phone call or in person is obnoxious. She must know she caused a lot of damage and hardship - maybe she's afraid she could be held responsible financially so she's trying to hide behind this lame story?

So sorry you're dealing with this situation, OP.

[LizLemon]

I'd probably just send a perfunctory "Thanks for the update," and leave it at that. She'll get the idea that you're being cool towards her, but she won't be able to say that you were being obviously mean to her after she "told you she was drugged," KWIM?

I like this one as well. It's not mean at all, but it does of have a hint of "I'm washing my hands of this drama." For me personally the "I'm sorry to hear this happened to you response" would not work. Only because her story sounds very implausible and if I were in your shoes I wouldn't feel sorry for her I would just feel mad, and that response is - again for me - much nicer than I would actually be feeling.

[BunnyBee]

IIRC, the blood test for GHB has to be done within 4 hours and the urine within 12. They can test hair but I doubt it. That's usually reserved for rape/criminal cases.

What would you do if the person who did that at your business had not been a "friend"?

[DietCokeLover]

What would you do if the person who did that at your business had not been a "friend"?

Honestly, there is unfortunately not much we can do. More than likely, we would have asked the police to remove them from the property. She probably owes me for her not being arrested that night on top of everything else.