Could I even complain about this?

[fedoragirl]

...not sure if I should but I feel really ticked off about it.
My ILS are really good people so that is probably why I feel guilty about feeling the way I do. We rent their property. They have some odds and ends stored in the basement which is fine. The problem is that our stuff is also stored in there and every time I go there to find something, the stuff has been moved around. every.time. I have my $$$ china there and it's always in a new place. We have told MIL to ask me before she needs to move anything but she doesn't and I am so sick and tired of it. Is this unreasonable?
FWIW, we are "renting" but we don't really pay anything but taxes.

[twowhat?]

It's weird to me that they move your stuff around when they only have "odds and ends" stored in the basement - do they HAVE to move your stuff around in order to get to their "odds and ends"?

If that's the case can you tell them that you'll re-arrange the basement so that they can get to their stuff easily without moving yours?

Label all your stuff with color-coded labels (are we talking boxes?)

Sorry, that would annoy me too. But since you've already asked once and nothing changed...I think you should try another strategy.

[eagle]

this is a bitching forum but since you asked ill state my opinion.

i think its mildly rude of them to ignore requests not to move your stuff around but since youre not paying full rent, id just let it go.

family! good times!

perhaps if you get REALLY sick of it, think about moving out on your own...

again, i know this is the bitching forum, so ignore if you need to!

[jal]

i think its mildly rude of them to ignore requests not to move your stuff around but since youre not paying full rent, id just let it go.

I would agree... with the caviot that you find a way to make it impossible for ILs to move things like $$$ china again.

See, I can understand eagle's sentiment of "let it go"...

But I can also understand your worry of the aquward position it is going to put everyone in when the ILs eventually break a piece of china.

IMHO, the best solution would be to put a locking cabinet (http://www.lowes.com/pd_339957-742-193587_0__?productId=3295500) in the storage room and move things like the china to the storage cabinet (AND HIDE THE KEY).

[LizLemon]

That's frustrating. Why are they down there so much anyway?

Advice portion (Ignore if desired!)
I think if it were a situation where you were actually paying for the place you might have more grounds to complain. Since you are basically being gifted the house and you have asked and they are ignoring or forgetting, it seems like their behavior isn't likely to change and I don't know how much latitude you have to press further. Could you move the china to a different part of the house, like the attic, where the ILs won't be going as much?

[BunnyBee]

Can you put all of their stuff in one area and have all of yours in another? I'd buy the cheap but sturdy wooden shelving and put your china somewhere out of the way of their things. If it's in boxes with the ends facing out clearly labeled and not anywhere near their stuff, they shouldn't touch it. If they move it then, yes, I'd say something.

[abh5e8]

wait...so the basement is in the home you live in, or the home they live in? (i'm confused)

[abh5e8]

ok...sounds like they own the house but you live there? (and they live somewhere else?)

YES...i would be very much annoyed. just because you are renting does not give them rights to shuffle through your stuff.

now...for advice:

I would put my stuff as far away as possible from theirs. stack it tightly. maybe tape the boxes together. then put their stuff on the opposite side, with lots of space in between. phrase the move as, " I wanted to make it as easy as possible for you to get to your things, and to make sure our things are not in your way."

or, next time they come over, just go down to the basement with them. again, with the attitude of "I just want to make sure my things are out of your way. and to see If i need to do anything to make sure my things are not in your way."

[JBaxter]

I think I would spend a saturday moving all your stuff to one area if possible. Yes I would be annoyed I hate to have my stuff moved by others.

[bisous]

I think I would spend a saturday moving all your stuff to one area if possible. Yes I would be annoyed I hate to have my stuff moved by others.

This is a really good idea.

I would totally be annoyed but I also see how it is difficult to do anything about it considering how nice your rental terms are. I would just make sure that my stuff is safe and secure so I don't have to stress anymore.

[squimp]

Totally passive aggressive, but I would put a sign on the china box that says "Fragile-do not move".

[fedoragirl]

Thanks for the advice everyone. The problem is that I've tried all of the suggestions mentioned. I've labelled the china and Christmas ornaments in red. I've put them away from all the water, gas, etc. lines that they need to access when workmen come over. I've asked them to ask me whatever they want to move. I can do it. The truth is that MIL loves to clean and organize. At random times, I have seen her sweeping out our garage. It's really nice of her but I'd prefer to keep my stuff in one place. I can also never find anything whenever I go down there and this costs me so much more time that I don't have.
I have asked DH to speak to them and he did. They still move stuff all the time. So, I am out of options and don't really know what to do other than create a big scene but I don't think I can or should. It sure feels nice to vent about it though.

[JdrKuhnert]

Could it be a cultural thing? She might seriously believe that her way of organization is better and so obvious that everyone would know it. My German MIL drives me nuts with her ways of doing things. She has some expectations of how things are "supposed" to be that I just don't understand. For years, she felt slighted that I did not have a Kaffeetisch set up when she visited us for the first time. We took her out to eat instead.

[MamaInMarch]

Could you rent a small storage unit for those things and just have them completely away?

[minnie-zb]

I seem to recall you live in Germany. Are your inlaws German? If yes, than I hate to say it, but I think this a cultural thing. Your MIL cleaning the garage, basement, etc. is her way of showing affection and caring. Believe me, it took a long time for me to learn my father's gruff way of showing he cared was to do things like this. He still does this stuff. I completely understand why it is annoying -- it would bug me too.

[123LuckyMom]

Could you rent a small storage unit for those things and just have them completely away?

This is what I would try to do, too. What your MIL is doing would bug me no end, but I do agree with PP that it is cultural and probably won't stop. If you can't store things away from the house, I would try to get a closed storage unit of some kind-- cupboards that can be locked, heavy locking trunks, even a shelving unit with a zippered cover that can have a tiny padlock. The idea would be to put your things all in one place in one unit that cannot be moved and that cannot be accessed to move the boxes around within the unit. That would probably work.

[sophiesmom03]

I'd get some cheap shelving from Home Depot or some other home store, the metal kind with deep shelves. Put your stuff on one side/one set of shelves and theirs on another.

Sorry, it's the BP - yes I'd be annoyed but it's free living so I understand why you don't want to complain - this solution could be presented as a property improvement. :)

[fedoragirl]

There is no storage place near us. I don't want to drive 20 miles to get my china. LOL All my scrapbooking supplies are downstairs too. I would hate to put them in storage so far away.
I was about to head out to buy a storage cupboard but DH reminded me that we couldn't put it there since the entire basement has wall-to-wall shelving with their stuff on it. So, I would be blocking access to their things (which they haven't needed in years but whatever) if I put a cupboard in front of it. I still may go this route and ask MIL where I can put the cupboard.
I am guessing this is a cultural thing. MIL gets my entire house cleaned when I come to States. LOL. I came back to discover that she had "hired" our housekeeper and asked her to clean the doors, light fixtures, windows...the whole deal. It cracked me up that she wants to spend her money cleaning our place and it's really nice of her but it also makes me think that she doesn't think I am clean enough for her liking. At least, this is a good problem to have.

[WitMom]

Sorry, no advice to offer. But I'm trying to understand.....do they just come in your house without your permission? If that's the case, I'd have some major issues. Even if it is "their" house, you're living in it and there need to be some boundaries set. Just my .02 worth.