Going out with 2 toddlers...HELP!

[BallerinaMommy]

I am in need of some advice. My boys are 17 months apart, DS1 is 2.5 and DS2 is 13 months and newly walking. DS1 is a runner...let him loose in a park, store, gym, etc and he takes off. Getting him to stay with Mommy and Daddy is a struggle, and leaving usually ends in a tantrum. Up until recently I have been able to have someone with me to go out on outings with, however that is no longer a regular possibility. Today was our first class at a local gym where I was on my own with both boys and we had a great time until it was time to leave. There I was holding my 1 year old while DS2 was running away from me because he did not want to leave. I tried all my usual things but he WOULD NOT cooperate. Thankfully, the employee of the gym was so kind and held DS2 and walked us out to our while I wrangled DS1, got his shoes on him and buckled him in his car seat. I was mortified and said to myself, "this is why I don't go anywhere by myself with the two children if I can't have him strapped in a stroller." And that's not really fun for anyone! So I guess I'm asking how do you do it? Or do you even go places alone without help? Are we really just trapped at home to play until he is a bit older to understand that unless he cooperates with mommy and listens, then we won't go do fun things? I try explaining that to him before we go on the outing and afterwards, when things obviously didn't go well, and he says he understands and always says he's sorry if he doesn't listen, but I know he really doesn't understand. I'm feeling pretty defeated so any advice is welcome. Thanks for listening!

[BabyBearsMom]

My DD1 isn't a runner, but if she was, I would use a kid leash. I know some folks are opposed to that but I'd rather leash her than lose her

[kellij]

My first 2 are 16 months apart. I just used a stroller for everything. I mean, like walking into the gym, I strapped them into a stroller and had my gym bag hanging off the back. DS started mother's day out and I would load them in a stroller along with all the stuff, just to walk inside. I don't know, I never had anyone to help with outings, so it was either stay home all the time, or use a stroller all the time. Luckily they make awesome strollers!

At Target or stores with baskets, I would park by a basket return. Grab a basket and put them both in the shopping cart before going in.

[TwoBees]

...I would use a kid leash. I know some folks are opposed to that but I'd rather leash her than lose her

:yeahthat:

I was very anti-leash until recently. Now I completely see their appeal. Necessity even. I haven't used one yet but I have thought about it...and nearly bought one.

[AJP]

Is taking the stroller there an option? I had my twins in the double stroller till they were 3 and DS was born. After that the only places I'd take them alone were preschool, ballet class and the supermarket with a "car" cart so I could contain all 3 kids! Lol. They quickly realized that going nowhere was not fun, and now at 4.5 they're a different story.
Don't be mortified about having someone help you out!!! Our preschool teachers walked with us to the car MANY times last year. I had one "runner", a carseat with baby and another preschooler - not to mention all their gear.

[rin]

I would make it very clear to him that the next time he runs off, he will be either (a) put on the kid leash or (b) in a stroller. And then do it, with no emotion on your part whatsoever, just super calm so he doesn't get distracted by your response and can just focus on the cause-and-effect relationship between running off and getting restrained.

DD1 is a runner (getting better now at almost 3). I have made it very clear to her that walking on her own somewhere is a privilege, and the first time I have to chase her she will be strapped into the stroller/grocery cart. We don't actually have a kid leash, but if we routinely went into situations where a stroller wouldn't be feasible, I would get one.

[BabbyO]

I wouldn't be opposed to a kid leash for this reason. I also tend to have my ergo on hand and can throw DS2 in it while I wrangle DS1 if needed. A stroller would be another option.

[BallerinaMommy]

My first 2 are 16 months apart. I just used a stroller for everything. I mean, like walking into the gym, I strapped them into a stroller and had my gym bag hanging off the back. DS started mother's day out and I would load them in a stroller along with all the stuff, just to walk inside. I don't know, I never had anyone to help with outings, so it was either stay home all the time, or use a stroller all the time. Luckily they make awesome strollers!

At Target or stores with baskets, I would park by a basket return. Grab a basket and put them both in the shopping cart before going in.

This is what I think I need to do...even if it's just getting from the car to the door. They know at Target, the grocery store, mall, etc. that it's the stroller or we leave...I meant more do you go to the park, zoo, gymboree, etc. where they would get down and play? Thanks for your advice!

[rin]

This is what I think I need to do...even if it's just getting from the car to the door. They know at Target, the grocery store, mall, etc. that it's the stroller or we leave...I meant more do you go to the park, zoo, gymboree, etc. where they would get down and play? Thanks for your advice!

DD2 isn't walking yet, so I only have to deal with one mobile child. I only take them to the park/etc if DD2 is in the ergo, so I can chase DD1 (and then strap her into the stroller and leave). However, as I said above, she is getting much, much better, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

[edurnemk]

For a long time DS was either in a stroller or wearing a leash (lifesaver, I don't care what people think or how they look at us) when we were in public places.

[doberbrat]

I'd get a good back carrier for your 1yo and stop giving the 2yo the opportunity to run by going from stroller to carseat and back (or leash). Get a small stroller so you can fold it up at the gym etc. If they give you a hard time, simply point out what happened last time and that this is how you need it to be from now on.

:hug: thankfully, its usually a short phase.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

My first 2 are 16 months apart. I just used a stroller for everything. I mean, like walking into the gym, I strapped them into a stroller and had my gym bag hanging off the back. DS started mother's day out and I would load them in a stroller along with all the stuff, just to walk inside. I don't know, I never had anyone to help with outings, so it was either stay home all the time, or use a stroller all the time. Luckily they make awesome strollers!

At Target or stores with baskets, I would park by a basket return. Grab a basket and put them both in the shopping cart before going in.

:yeahthat: yes, this. and OP i feel your pain, i really do..mine are 14 months apart so i've been through the same frustration as you. with kids so close in age you can't just have the older kid walk. when my DC were your age (1 and 2) I used a double stroller HEAVILY. even if it was just a short distance....my first (DS) too was a runner (still is, but not as bad) so it was hard. And my dd didn't walk until 15 months (and even then she didn't really walk outside until 18 mo) so it was more crucial.. i just didn't have enough hands to deal with her and hold on to DS, plus carry a bag or whatever. The only place i didn't use a stroller is the grocery store or places that had shoping carts..i'd park near a cart corral and then load them right in. When dd was a baby (less than 9mo) i'd wear DD and put DS in the cart seat. when dd got old enough to sit in a cart i'd put ds in the main basket part.

anyway, it DOES get easier. mine are 2 and 3 yo and i JUST sold my BJCMD as i no longer need it :applause: DS is old enough to walk without running off (most of the time) and DD can walk holding my hand. i still use my Vista for mall outings and stuff, but stroller is definitely not that crucial as it was last year or the year before.

oh and i can i just say you are very brave taking them to a Little Gym class by yourself!!! I have never done that.. i used to take DS to Gymboree classes when he was about 1yo, but then once DD was born i decided i just couldn't manage both of them by myself. i think they even have a rule that you cannot have 2 kids under 3 for 1 parent, or something. It makes sense, as it is just too hard. At 2yo my DS would just want to run off everywhere.

you can do a search under my username for posts from 1.5 years ago or so. i ended up buying a bjcmd and it was just so useful to have in that period of time.

[kellij]

I took them to the zoo when they got a little older. More like 2 and 3. I didn't do gymboree because they didn't have a class that worked for both and they didn't have childcare so I could do the class with one. Now, I have 4. They are 8, 6, 3, and 1. I won't go to the zoo without my husband. It's just too overwhelming. Plus, the 3 yo and the 1 yo just had birthdays, so they are on the young end of that too. I definitely did more by myself when I just had the first 2. Mainly the gym and I took them to the mall a lot and let them play in the play area. I also took them to Chick-fil-A and McDonald's to let them play there as well. I go to the park alone some times, but if I had a runner, I think I would hold off for a little while to see if that phase passes; if it's too stressful, I don't do it. I'd be nervous if it's near a road at all.

I just checked your ages again. They are close to my little DSs ages. I am planning to take them to the zoo by myself during the school year next year, when my older kids are in school. But my DS just turned 3, so that 6 months can make kind of big difference. I will probably make them sit in a stroller to walk around the zoo and then let them out to play in the kids' area.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

^wow can i just say i cannot imagine going to the zoo solo with 4 kids!!

i've taken the kids to the zoo by myself twice, once when they were 8mo and 22 mo, and then another time when they were 1.5 and 2.5. it was totally doable with a side-by-side double stroller (i took my BOB Duallie). the first time around i brought my Pikkolo carrier for DD so i could wear her when she got fussy, as well as nurse her while walking around. it also helps to go with a group of other moms just to help each other out if needed (e.g. if you have to run to the restroom quickly, other moms can watch your DC in the stroller for a few minutes.)

[BallerinaMommy]

Thank you all for your advice! Sometimes it's nice to hear that others have been there as well! So often I feel like I'm the only one experiencing this! I really appreciate it!

[hillview]

yeah that was basically impossible for me for a while. I think DS2 was 2 before I felt like I could take them both somewhere with a hope of success. Stroller with a harness was great. But really it is the age. SORRY it is very hard!

[BunnyBee]

Bring the stroller in with you next time. :)

It's hard. My first two weren't quite as close but it was hard! Double stroller or stroller with a riding board + toddler leash. Giving the oldest a job seemed to help. Here, your job is holding the map...

Parks I didn't take mine to alone until my oldest was reliably listening to me. We don't have fenced-in parks though. But I would meet another mom friend and we could help each other out.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Prioritize the things you really need to go to. I ordered groceries online and had DH drive through to pick them up. The extra $5 was totally worth my sanity.
LOVE your double stroller. Using it more often meant I was more sane at the end of the day.

[DietCokeLover]

My dc are 11 months apart. If I hadn't had my double stroller I would never have gone anywhere. It was the only way I could do it. Both of mine were runners, so they would take off in separate directions.

[twowhat?]

I relied VERY heavily on my double stroller. Sometimes if I knew it'd be just a short trip in a crowded place (like returning something at a store, or post office, or something like that where I knew I'd only be in for a few min and didn't need to carry the diaper bag), I'd carry one on my back in the beco and then carry one in the front/side on my hip like I normally would hold a child. I often brought BOTH the double stroller AND a carrier. That way if we were at a doctor's appt (for example) and they both got fussy, I could put one on my back and attend to the other.

I did the parking-near-a-cart-return thing too - bring the cart to the car and then put them both in the cart.

Containment is the key to heaven. I would use a leash in a heartbeat in your case if you couldn't bring a stroller. And with them being only 17 mos apart, I'd totally get a double stroller. The 2.5yo may not need it to rest tired legs (sounds like he has endless energy), but you'll need it to keep everyone contained.

[connor_mommy]

Mine are a 26 months apart. But when my younger one wouldn't listen, he got put on my back in the baby carrier or in the stroller.

[gatorsmom]

My first 2 are 16 months apart. I just used a stroller for everything. I mean, like walking into the gym, I strapped them into a stroller and had my gym bag hanging off the back. DS started mother's day out and I would load them in a stroller along with all the stuff, just to walk inside. I don't know, I never had anyone to help with outings, so it was either stay home all the time, or use a stroller all the time. Luckily they make awesome strollers!

At Target or stores with baskets, I would park by a basket return. Grab a basket and put them both in the shopping cart before going in.


:yeahthat: I understand completely- I have twins! I too used the double stroller for everything. In order to take my older two boys to the gym I'd first unstrap the twins from their carseats (one at a time) and make sure they were firmly strapped into their stroller. Then I'd unhook the older two boys and we'd all go into the gym together. All that work just to transfer from the car to the lobby of the gym!

When we went to the park if the older boys had soccer practice in an open park I'd spend the hour pushing the twins around in the stroller to keep them busy. I couldn't let them out of the stroller because they would both run opposite ways! And with the street nearby.....nope, I just had to push them in the stroller for an hour well strapped into their seats.

It may seem like it, but this phase doesn't last forever. At some point the older one will be able to walk along side the stroller (without bolting) while you keep the youngest one strapped in.

[Tondi G]

A stroller, a leash and a carrier for your little one. If you get an Ergo/Beco/Boba you can strap your little one on your back and be able to pick up DS1 as well.... or at least have hands free to wrangle him!

[scriptkitten]

I went out everyday with my twins since I lived in the city.

The key is a good comfy double stroller full of snacks and toys.

If I was clothes shopping or was going to be in one spot for a while I'd toss them my iPhone and let them watch a video. You do what you gotta do.